


Black, White, and Everything In Between

by Sydney_Hill



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 95,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26837536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydney_Hill/pseuds/Sydney_Hill
Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 101
Kudos: 189





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really, I don’t. Haha, bad joke, I know, but really, I own nothing, everything belongs to the queen, Ms. Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 1: Close Ones

People often say that in times of turbulence, all one has to do is remain positive, and everything will slowly come together on its own. 

Bullshit.

Over the past few years, all Hermione Granger had done was remain positive. Whenever something had gone wrong, Hermione had been the one to console and support her friends. Whenever anyone needed help, she had been the one to help them. Whenever people had lost hope, she had been the one to tell them to keep trying, and that it would be okay. Now it seemed like all her efforts were fruitless. What help had it done?

Now, in her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, everyone to pass her in the halls would see the same girl, best friend of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, brightest witch of her age, with a smile that stretched from cheek to cheek, a constant hunger for knowledge etched in her features, yet, Hermione Granger was no longer the same. Her fifth year had changed her, and sobered her like a blast of chilly wind. After the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, it came to her like she had been slapped in the face: they were in war. This was it, it had officially begun, although Voldemort had been back from the end of fourth year, when Harry returned from Little Hangleton, clutching the limp body of Cedric Diggory.

After countless years of remaining positive, Hermione Granger could now say that it had done her no good. After countless years of putting on fake smiles, and giving false hope, she had finally realized that it was time for her to give up being an optimist, and become a realist.

Things were not looking good. Voldemort had been back for almost two years, yet the public had just acknowledged his existence last year. Countless prisoners had escaped from Azkaban, a feat that had previously been considered almost impossible. News was that he was off recruiting giants, and that he already had the support of the werewolf community. He was getting stronger day by day, and could make his move at any moment. Fuck the stereotypes that came with her red and gold colours, the truth was, that Hermione Granger was scared. Yes, she was scared, more so than she cared to admit. This was a war in which people like her were victims. After Harry Potter himself, people like her were the ones Voldemort wanted to get his hands on the most, people they called mudbloods. 

It shocked Hermione how to this day, certain wizards and witches still believed in blood supremacy. To this day, they still believed that they were superior to her, solely because of her blood. During her younger days, thanks to relentless bullying, she had sometimes even come to believe that she was in some way inferior. Her insecurities were sky high, and the only thing that distracted her from them were her friends.

Her friends. Her family. Her everything. 

Even she herself couldn’t comprehend how great her true level of affection for them was. When she had thought she had nothing, they gave her everything. On days she felt like she had nobody, they came bouncing in to make her smile. They’d give their own lives up for her, and she would do the same for them. They were so protective about her, which made Hermione smile. They were a constant in her life. Hermione Granger had seen much more in her short life than most witches and wizards did ever, and through everything, through her ups and downs, the bad days and the good days, the rainy days and the sunny, they were always there. Her boys, Harry and Ron.

Harry, regardless of what that scum Rita Skeeter wrote about him, was one of the kindest and most selfless wizards she knew. For him, it had always been others before himself. He to her was the brother she never had. Their relationship was one that Hermione hoped she would cherish until the moment she took her last breath, regardless of whatever would happen with her and Ron.

_Ron…_

Her crush since third year, the boy she had come to love, the boy she pictured herself with 20 years from now. She had always harboured feelings for the youngest male Weasley, and she had thought he had also returned her feelings, until recently. Hermione has always thought she had her entire life planned out. She would top all of her classes, follow a career path that would bring a change to the wizarding world, and marry her best friend, Ronald Weasley. Now, she didn’t have a damn clue of where she was going with her life.

When she had seen Ron snogging Lavender Brown in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, she had felt like she had been stabbed with a thousand knives. She continuously told herself that she had no right to feel hurt or betrayed, because Ron wasn’t even her boyfriend. Yet, she couldn’t help but cry on Harry’s shoulder that night, like the heartbroken teenage girl she was.

_She had thought he liked her back...that he would make a move...that he also loved her…_

But alas, after the show he put up in the common room, it was safe to say Hermione’s feelings were only one sided.

So yes, at the moment, her life was pretty shit.

“Hermione,” called Harry, “let’s head down to dinner, shall we?”

“Coming.” Replied Hermione.

Putting her books to the side, with her nose up, she managed to walk through the common room, without glancing at Ron and Lavender.

* * *

“C’mon mate, we’ve got to go down to the great hall for dinner.”

“Yes Blaise...give me a minute. You go, I’ll join you in a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Questioned the dark skinned wizard.

“Yes, positive. You go, I’ll be down in a bit. I have something to finish up.”

“Okay then.”

Draco Malfoy was left alone in his dormitory as Blaise Zabini left. The pale, young, blond lifted himself up from his four poster bed, and walked over to the mirror in the room, to analyze the young man in front of him.

The wizard he saw was no longer the wizard that existed just a few short years ago. That young wizard had been destroyed, demolished, and killed, alongside his childhood innocence. What remained was a mere corpse of the boy that once existed. His ashen skin was a ghostly pale, bags formed under his eyes, deprivation of sleep etched across his face. His grey eyes that once twinkled now looked as dull as mud, and his once toned body was now almost just bones.

He looked like absolute shit.

Draco Malfoy’s life had always been full of the greatest luxuries imaginable. He had been given the best of everything. The best robes, the best toys, the best food, everything. His childhood had been a happy one, full of wonderful memories of him playing in the Malfoy gardens, his mother telling him stories, and his family being... _happy._

Regardless of what people said about her, Narcissa Malfoy was an amazing mother. She would do anything for her son, and cross any limits to keep him happy. The same could not be said for his husband.

Draco remembered that at one time, his father too had been...decent. Those days seemed so long ago, yet they were etched in his memories like a clear motion picture. Now, Lucius was nothing more than a slave, and Narcissa was nothing more than his wife.

He wished...he wished so badly that he could go back to those days. Those days when he began to do magic, and his father would look at him with a sense of pride. Or those days, when he’d lay in his mother’s lap while she read him stories from _The Tales of Beedle and the Bard._ Or those days, when he strutted around this very castle, with his nose up, with a sense of mischief and innocence that he would never get back.

Draco Malfoy was completely different from the boy he was a mere year ago. Just a year ago, he was happily serving his duties as head of the Inquisitorial Squad, his largest problem being Potter’s happiness. Now...hadn’t a clue of what he was.

It hurt so fucking much.

He was no more than a puppet, whose strings were being controlled by the Dark Lord.

_How badly he wanted to end it all...to wipe his existence from this world...to be gone to somewhere far away...somewhere better…_

But no. This was not just about him. If he failed his mission, the Dark Lord would kill not only him, but his family too. He needed to do this for them. For his mother. 

Snapping out of his trance, he ran his fingers through his hair and put on the mask of indifference he had learned to master throughout all these years, and with one last look at the mirror, he was off to the great hall.

* * *

  
  


“Hey, Hermione, are you okay?”

“Sorry?”

“You're being a bit distant.”

“Oh, sorry Harry, just got distracted.”

“Listen, Hermione, if you want to talk about Ron, we can-“

“No. I just...don’t want to speak about him right now. I don’t know why I’m overreacting, I have no right to feel upset.”

“Listen Hermione, I know how you feel about Ron, and I’m sure he feels the same way about you. Just watch, this... _thing_ with Lavender will be over soon.”

“I can’t just sit here _waiting_ for Ronald to break up with Lavender, Harry. Don’t you see how pathetic that is? I just…don’t want to talk about him right now. Can we discuss something else?”

“Of course, sorry Hermione. Did you hear about…”

Whatever Harry had said, Hermione didn’t listen, because she had been distracted by someone sitting on the Slytherin table, on the other side of the great hall.

Draco Malfoy.

The boy she despised since her first year. She had come to Hogwarts with such great dreams, and he had been the one to make her feel like shit. He had been the one to always ruin her day with that awful word. He had been the one she had hated since day one, the one who had relentlessly bullied her from when she was an eleven year old girl.

He looked...awfully pale, even paler than his usual complexion. He looked almost sick, and it seemed like he hadn’t had sleep in days. It made her think back to September, when they had arrived at Hogwarts on the Hogwarts Express. When Harry had suspected he had taken the mark.

Back then it seemed impossible to her. It seemed almost foolish of Voldemort to give a 16 year old the dark mark. But after a lot of thinking, she now had doubts.

It would certainly explain why he looked like a body tethering on the edge of life and death.

But no, how could he have taken the mark? She was certainly overthinking things. With that, she snapped back into reality, and turned back to her best friend.

* * *

  
  


After eating two spoonfuls of his dinner, Draco excused himself and rushed off to the Room of Requirement. In a rush to leave the great hall, he bumped into a petite form, causing the witch to lose her balance. Out of impulse, Draco extended his arm to balance her.

“I’m terribly sorry, thanks for...oh, it’s you.” The witch said with a tone of disgust.

He looked up and saw a very familiar face. A face he had grown to loathe over all his years at Hogwarts. 

Hermione Granger.

With a look of repulse, he let go of her roughly and wiped his hand off on his robes to get rid of any diseases he may have contracted.

“Filthy little mudblood, watch where you are going next time, wouldn’t want your diseases to be spreading.”

And with that, before the witch could say anything else, he turned on his heel and was off.

* * *

  
  


a/n: And so begins a new journey! This is my very first fanfic EVER and I’m super excited to be writing it! After countless years of browsing this website, I’ve finally plucked up the courage (took a lot of convincing from my lovely friends, mind you) and opened an account. This will be a very dark fic, with mature themes and explicit language. I know this was a very short chapter, but I promise the ones coming will be longer!

Shoutouts to **TakeAnotherPieceOfMyHeart** and **Walkinginawinterwonderland** for being my very first reviews! I literally squealed this morning when I saw them! I love you guys so much, you guys are the ones that are motivating me to write more.

I give out my heartfelt condolences for the victims of the Beirut explosion last week. God bless their souls.

Remember to leave a review after reading, they really do mean a lot. Happy reading!I’m 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** "All I wanted was for you to leave me the hell alone! Now...now I don't know what to want."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' washroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, somethings going to change. Maybe it's him, maybe it's her. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. I wish I did, but I don’t.

And here’s chapter two. I did not expect to get this up so quickly, but the reviews motivated me to write! Enjoy!

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Chapter 2: Duels

_ Mudblood… _

The first time she’d heard that word was in second year, from the same mouth that had said it just now. She didn’t know what it meant at that time, but it hurt just the same.

Sometimes it hurt, sometimes not so much. Just when she’d think she had become used to hearing it, it would come hitting her like a sudden blast of icy wind. 

It made her feel like shit. It made her feel like she really  _ didn’t _ deserve her magic. Hermione would never admit this, but that  _ word _ had always subconsciously made her question whether or not she was worthy of possessing her wand. That is why Hermione Granger always felt the need to be the best. That is why she hated it when she got a 99, not a 100. That is the reason for her constant need to be above everyone else. 

It brought her pure joy to beat Malfoy every year during exams, that pureblood aristocratic asshole.

_ Malfoy… _

During dinner, he’d looked like he’d been crucioed fifty times and then had been locked in a dungeon for a week.

Something about him was... _ different. _ Not just physically. His mudblood comment earlier somehow lacked the bite it usually contained. His haunting, grey eyes had been full of...sadness? He seemed tired as hell, and seemed like he hadn’t had a proper meal in days. She couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but something about him was off. 

In fact, he had been missing out on many classes lately, along with quidditch matches too.

_ Maybe Harry had been right… _

Whatever was wrong, Hermione decided she’d find out. Perhaps she was just over analyzing the situation, but she had to make sure. 

What if he had actually taken the mark? And even if he had, why would Voldemort recruit a 16 year old?

Going over possible reasons, a memory of last year, in the Department of Mysteries, flashed in her head, and that’s when it came to her.

Revenge. Punishment. Whatever you want to call it.

Last year, during the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, it had been Lucius’s mistake which caused the prophecy to break. It had been his fault it slipped right from that vile creature’s fingertips. If Voldemort had indeed brandished Draco with the dark mark, it would simply be Lucius’s punishment for his failure.

Or maybe Malfoy just volunteered himself _. _

Had he?

No, certainly not. As odd as it sounded, Hermione did not believe Draco Malfoy to be capable of that. He simply wasn’t... _ evil _ , regardless of what she had said in third year. Malfoy was more of a...coward.

Yes, a coward. He was a school bully, aristocratic prat, and narcissistic arrogant asshole, but he simply wasn’t a death eater. She didn’t believe him to be capable of that.

He simply lacked the  _ want _ to serve Voldemort. The boy was intelligent, she had to admit, as he had come second to only her in every exam, and had the sense to not volunteer himself to become the puppet of a Dark Lord. He was selfish, and cared only for himself.

In simple words, Hermione Granger did not believe Draco Malfoy had the courage to become a death eater voluntarily. He was a mere school bully, only capable of spewing words. 

If he had really taken the mark, it would be under pressure.

She would remember to look out for him on the Mauraders’ Map for the next few weeks.

Maybe she was misinterpreting things and over analyzing the situation, but she had to make sure just in case.

She was Hermione Granger, after all.

* * *

Usually, Draco would take the time to properly take a shower and cleanse himself of germs when coming in contact with a mudblood, but today, a scourgifying charm would have to do the job. 

That filthy little mudblood.

She thought she was so great. Best friend of Pothead, brightest witch of her age, the witch who was the reason Harry Potter was still alive today. Such a shame such talent was wasted on someone so impure.

_ Fucking bitch… _

She was the reason his father began to hate him. She was the reason he got punished after every exam. She was the reason his parents were disappointed in him.

_ ‘Second to a mudblood…such a shame to the Malfoy name...beaten by someone whose blood is so impure…” _

But he didn’t have time to dwell on her. She was no longer his biggest problem. 

Looking up, he had realized that he had finally reached the seventh floor.

* * *

  
  
  
Hermione laughed with Harry as they walked back to the common room together. Ron did not show up at dinner. Neither did Lavender.

When they walked through the portrait hole, the first thing they noticed, right in the centre of the common room, was Ron and Lavender, their mouths glued to each other as if they would die if separated.

It made her blood boil. Ron had been dropping hints that he too liked her back ever since fourth year. She was sure his jealousy when she had gone to the Yule Ball with Victor Krum didn’t stem from just the feelings of a protective brother. She had thought they would finally be something this year. She had thought they’d be together...yet, there he was, sucking face with Lavender fucking Brown in the dead centre of the Gryffindor common room. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Oh would you please stop! This is a common room for God’s sake! Ronald, you are a prefect, you should know better than this!” Hermione yelled, her face scrunching up in anger. She could feel Harry’s arm on her shoulder, providing her with support, and she was grateful for it being there.

She was ready to commit murder tonight.

“Oh...Hermione.” Ron said warily.

“Please, refrain from displaying inappropriate acts of affection in public areas!”

“She’s right, Won Won, let’s go somewhere else.” Snapped Lavender.

“Okay...let’s go. See you guys later.” Ron said, nodding to Harry and nervously glancing at Hermione.

And within the blink of an eye, the couple was gone.

“Hermione...are you-“

“I’m fine Harry…I’m fine. Shall we finish up that transfigurations essay due for Professor McGonagall?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Harry, I’m sure.”

“Okay then.”

* * *

  
  
  


Yet another night wasted.

Draco had been working on his project for two fucking months, and he wasn’t anywhere closer to finishing it than he was in the beginning. He had to do something. If he carried on like this, both him and his family would be dead before Christmas.

Breakfast was as boring as usual. Eggs. Toast. Coffee.

Although, he did catch Granger looking at him from across the great hall, almost…sympathetically? Fucking great. The last thing he needed at the moment was the mudblood poking her nose where it didn’t belong. He’d deal with her if he needed to.

“Let’s go Draco, we’ll be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts.” Called Blaise Zabini.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

  
  
  


“Today we will be practising non verbal spells in combat. Non verbal spells can be very tricky to master. Even the best of wizards have trouble with them, but when perfected, are very useful in battle. Separate yourselves into groups of two.”

While the wizards and witches grouped themselves into partnerships, Draco Malfoy simply sat in his seat, still thinking about the look Granger gave him during breakfast.

Typical, nosy Gryffindor. He couldn’t have her spoiling his plan. He’d have to put her in her place.

“Potter, Weasley, certainly not,” exclaimed the greasy haired wizard with his lips curling, “Potter with Boot and Weasley with Broklehurst.”

Draco couldn’t help but snicker as the duo separated, frowns on their faces.

“Miss Granger, seeing as you did not find my instructions important enough to follow, five points from Gryffindor. You will be partnered with Mr. Malfoy, seeing as he is the only other person without a partner.” Stated Snape.

Fuck.

The Gryffindor’s face contorted into evident rage as she slowly walked over to take a seat beside the young Malfoy.

Draco didn’t even bother to acknowledge her presence.

“On the count of three, get into dueling positions, and then to the best of your abilities, use non verbal spells to defeat your opponent. If you are caught mumbling spells twenty points will be taken from your respective houses. On the count of three, one, two-”

“How does it feel to be so impure?” Draco whispered.

No answer.

“How does it feel to be part of a disgusting breed of animals?”

No answer.

“How does it feel to-”

“You tell me,” the witch hissed back in a dangerously low voice, “how does it feel to be a failure?”

“What?”

“How does it feel to be a constant failure? How does it feel to be continuously beaten by people you deem  _ inferior  _ to you? Me with my grades, Harry with his quidditch. How does it feel to constantly disappoint, to be the son of a fucking  _ death eater _ ? You’ll always be a disappointment, you’ll never-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“-achieve anything, because you know what you are? A coward.” 

She was winding him up like a toy, but he was determined not to burst. She thought she was so sharp with her tongue? He’d hit her where it hurt the most.

“Filthy fucking mudblood.”

He thought he’d get a reaction from that, but her face didn’t show any emotion. She just continued whispering words that were equivalent to being crucioed a thousand times.

“Mudblood...is that all you can think of? Is that all you have? I thought you were different...I thought you still had some good in you...but I was wrong. You’re death eater scum, just like your father-”

Within the blink of an eye both wizards had their wands pointing at each other.

“STUPEFY!” Yelled Draco, ice coursing through his veins.

The spell hadn’t worked. The bitch used a non verbal shielding charm.

“Mr. Malfoy,” intervened Snape, “twenty points from Slytherin.”

Neither of them seemed to give a damn.

“Ascendio!” 

“Stupefy!”

Both Hermione and Draco were flying back, crashing into desks behind them, as the whole class watched in fascination.

Just as the two got up and composed themselves, Snape spoke from the front of the classroom.

“Both of you,” Snape stated calmly, “see Professor McGonagall after dinner tonight.”

* * *

  
  
  


a/n: And that’s chapter two for you guys. I know it’s a bit slow, but I really want to stay true to the characters and do them justice, but I promise, much dramione to come!

Review, review, review. You guys have no idea how much they mean to me, especially this being my VERY FIRST FIC! Love you guys. I really do.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: Don’t own anything, everything belongs to the lovely Ms. JK Rowling.

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Chapter 3: Punishments

“Bloody hell Hermione. That was...quite something. Are you okay?”

Her face was still red with anger, and her fists were still clenched. She felt a jolt of pain in the back of her head, and touched it to find blood.

_ That ferret… _

He thought her blood was impure? He thought it was muddy? He thought of  _ her  _ to be inferior to him?

He hadn’t changed a bit. He was just as vile as he was before, if not more. Just as terrible. Just as evil. 

Her hatred for Malfoy had somehow doubled in that instant. He had the nerve to hex her in the middle of class…

“I’m fine Ronald,” she replied, “just a bit bruised up, but fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You think you’ll get detention?” Interjected Harry.

“Most likely.”

Not wanting to push her any more, the boys quickly changed the topic of the conversation.

Just then, a horrible screeching sound rang out from behind them.

“Won Won!”

God help her keep her temper in check. First Malfoy, and now this mindless bint. 

“I’m going to go to the library to finish up some reading. You and Harry carry on, I’ll see both of you at lunch.”

“Okay,” nodded Harry, “we’ll be in the common room if you need anything.”

Finally finding an excuse to get away from everyone else, Hermione muttered a quick healing charm on the back of her head, rushed off to the library to finally get some time on her own.

* * *

  
  
  


His blood was boiling, and his face was marred with evident rage, as he paced across his dormitory. His knuckles had gone almost a pearlescent white, and his back was aching from his collision with the desks during Defence Against the Dark Arts. He tasted iron, and his lips were graced with tiny self inflicted dents all over.

“Draco,” called Blaise, “you need to relax. You shouldn’t have aggravated Granger in the…”

Granger.

That fucking mudblood.

She had the nerve to think she was his equal. She had the nerve to tell him  _ he  _ was as wrong. 

Who did she fucking think she was?

She didn’t deserve her magic...she didn’t deserve to possess a wand...that vile, dirty, creature…

“Draco? Are you listening?”

Drifting back into reality, he put his attention back on his best friend.

“Yeah?”

“I was saying, you shouldn’t have aggravated Granger that way. Especially not in the middle of class. What the fuck were you thinking? Dueling Granger right in the middle of class? If Snape hadn’t stepped in between, she would have busted your ass. Now, you gained nothing, and will probably be facing detention for the next few months.”

Fuck.

Detention.

_ Fuck. _

He had one job. One task to complete. His life and his entire families’ lives depended on whether or not he succeeded, and he fucked things up with detention? Time was as precious as the most expensive diamonds, and he had just lost a large portion of it. Granger had nothing to lose, but he had everything. 

What would detention do to her? Put an almost nonexistent stain on her little good girl image, separate her from her two fools, maybe take up some of her precious homework time.

But him? He could lose everything, every second that ticked by was precious, and he was wasting them on irrelevant things like classes. Fuck, everything was irrelevant at this point. The only thing that mattered was his mission.

Succeed or fail. Win or lose. Survive or die.

It was as simple as that. And he fucked up.

Detention would mean a large chunk of his free time gone, that too, possibly in the company of Granger. Time that could’ve been spent working. Little mistakes like this are what would cost him. 

But he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let them down. He’d have to do it for them. For his mother.

* * *

  
  
  


She’d finally gotten away. Thank Merlin.

She loved her boys, but sometimes she needed time alone. Sometimes she needed to be in her own world, and just think to herself. And for that, she would come to the library.

Her haven.

It was her place of peace and quiet. The place she could come to and just sit for hours, reading away. The quiet of the library provided her with a false sense of calm, and the pages of the books shielded her from the cruel reality of the world. In her books, she could forget about everything else, and just give time to herself for a couple of hours.

Browsing through the shelves, she found an old wizarding romance novel. She’d already read it before, but, sometimes it was good to stick with what we are comfortable with. To stick with things we know.

Plucking the book out from the shelf, she went and seated herself at her usual seat, and began to read away. 

Usually, she would be completely engrossed in her book, but on that day, she could not focus. Her mind always drifted off to a certain Slytherin. 

She kept replaying yesterday and today’s events, and couldn’t help but think of why Malfoy looked so exhausted. Why he looked like he had been hurled into a hurricane and then somehow survived. Why he had been so affected when she had mentioned his father being a death eater. 

She wanted to believe that she was just overthinking things. She wanted to believe he was simply just a school bully. She wanted to believe she and Ron had been right at the beginning of the school year in telling Harry he was wrong.

Yet, something seemed different about him.

And the reality is more often than not what we don’t want to believe. The world  _ is _ cruel like that.

Shaking her head, she stuck her nose back in her book, and imagined that the world was a happy place, and that Malfoy did not exist. A world where she wasn’t living in the middle of a war, a reality where she was just a happy teenage witch, at school with her best friends.

Because that shit happens in fiction.

* * *

  
  
  


Another day fucking wasted. 

He needed to do something. He needed to make something happen. 

It was so fucking hard. 

His letters from his mother had been getting shorter, and he was sure the crinkles on the parchment had been caused by her tears.

She said she was okay, but he knew she wasn’t. She said she was happy, but he knew she was lying. She said she was healthy, but he knew she was tortured every fucking day.

And it hurt more to him than it hurt her.

Draco Malfoy didn’t have many close ones, but the ones he had, he loved dearly. For them, he’d do anything.

Anything.

While he was here at Hogwarts, his parents were at home, with the Dark Lord playing with them like toys. He knew they were tortured every day. He knew they were worse off than him. He knew his mother was treated like a servant in her own home. 

And the worst part was, even after knowing all these things, he couldn’t do shit.

All he could do was carry out his plan, hoping it would work. Hoping the pain would all end one day. Hoping that one day, his mother could finally be happy.

But to make that happen, he’d have to make sure he succeeded in completing his mission.

He couldn’t let any detentions deter him from his completing his task.

Determined to get some work done after his meeting with McGonagall, he stood up, brushed off his robes, and was off.

* * *

  
  
  


“Do you want me to walk with you to McGonagall’s office ?”

“No, it’s okay Harry, I’ll manage.”

“Alright then. But don’t get too close to Malfoy, and don’t hesitate to hex him if you need to.” Harry finished with a sly grin.

“You know I won’t.” Replied Hermione with a smile.

“See you in the common room.”

“See you.”

Hermione Granger was rarely scared, but today she was. She didn’t show it, but she really was. 

She had gotten out of vicious windpipe throttling plants without a second thought when she was 12, she had called a werewolf over in her direction to save her friends when she was 14, and she’d fearlessly dueled the most skilled of death eaters when she was 16.

Yet, today she was scared.

She hated to disappoint. She knew what could be coming in the speech she was about to hear from McGonagall, and just the thought of it alone made her palms all sweaty.

Slowly, she walked to the door, and knocked firmly.

“Come in.”

When she entered, she was surprised to see Malfoy already there.

“Take a seat Miss Granger. I had been waiting for the both of you to be present before I spoke.” The elderly witch began.

“It has come to my attention that the both of you had an altercation during your Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Is this correct?”

“Yes Professor,” Replied Hermione, timidly.

Malfoy merely nodded his head.

“Well,” McGonagall said, “I have to say, I’m quite disappointed in you both. Both of you are prefects, and should be better examples to the other students.”

“We’re incredibly sorry Professor, it won’t happen again.” 

Malfoy continued to remain silent.

“Very well. I hope you both understand that this type of incident should never be repeated. Fifty points will be taken from Slytherin and Gryffindor each, and both of you will serve detention in my classroom, every night on Saturday and Sunday, for the next two months.”

“Two months!” Snapped Malfoy, finally finding his voice.

“Yes, Mr, Malfoy, two months. As prefects, both of you should know better than to get involved in physical altercations, especially during class. I hope I have made myself clear.”

“Yes Professor.” Replied Hermione. 

“Well then, the both of you can head back to your dormitories now. Goodnight”

“Goodnight.” Said Hermione.

“Goodnight.” Croaked Malfoy, reluctantly.

As they both exited her office, Hermione was sure Malfoy would say something derogatory before they parted ways, but he simply turned on his heel and was off in the other direction.

Shaking her head, and deciding she needed time with her friends, Hermione finally found her feet and began walking back to the Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

  
  
  


“How was it?”

“Fine.”

“It took that long?”

“Had some work I needed to finish after.”

“What happened?”

“The usual bullshit. ‘I’m disappointed this, you should’ve known better that.’ I’ve got detention every Saturday and Sunday night for the next two months with her.”

After all the years Blaise Zabini had known Draco Malfoy, he had learned one thing about him: don’t push him when he isn’t ready to speak. 

He was being incredibly vague nowadays, and often disappeared for long hours, and when asked what he was doing, simply replied with, ‘I had some work.’

Something had changed about the youngest Malfoy over the past summer. He seemed like a completely different wizard, yet somehow he remained the same. 

He’d find out why, one day.

For now, all he could do was hope that whatever he did when he was gone, wouldn’t wound up hurting him in the end.

* * *

  
  
  


After coming back to the Gryffindor common room, and retelling the story of what happened in Professor McGonagall’s office to Harry, Hermione was exhausted. It had been a long day, and she decided she needed some rest. Right when she was heading upstairs, she heard the excited voice of Dean Thomas from across the common room.

“Everyone! The date for the next Hogsmeade visit has been put up!”

* * *

  
  
  


a/n: And here’s yet another chapter. You guys should really be thanking me for the speedy updates. It’s currently 4:05 am where I live, and the only things that have been pushing me to complete this chapter before I go to bed are a) coffee and b) all of your reviews! Love you guys so much. As an author, it means so much to see people reading and enjoying my work. 

Love you guys, 

Sydney

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It all belongs to the wonderful Ms. Rowling.

Finally done the chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

  
  
  


Chapter 4: Emotions

“Have you heard about the next Hogsmeade visit?”

“What?”

“The next Hogsmeade visit. It’s the weekend after this one.” Clarified the Italian wizard.

“The weekend after this one...” echoed the blond wizard, staring into nothingness.

“Draco, are you okay? You seem a bit out of it today.”

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine. I have some work to get done. I’ll see you later.”

Nodding to his companion, he stood up, brushed off his robes, and was off.

When she woke up, for a split second, she thought it had all been a dream.

She thought she had never really dueled Malfoy in Snape’s class, and that she had never gone to Professor McGonagall’s office. She had thought that Ron wasn’t dating Lavender Brown, but was with her. She had thought that Voldemort had never been resurrected, and that her, Harry, and Ron, for once in their lives...were living like normal teenagers.

But then reality came crashing down.

It had been a tough week for Hermione. Seeing Ron with Lavender, her spats with Malfoy, and then the speech from Professor McGonagall.

Just when she had thought she would finally use this weekend to relax, and blow off some steam, she remembered her detentions. With Malfoy.

Before she could sink into an endless well of thoughts, two voices from outside her four poster bed grasped her attention. She recognized the voices belonging to Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown.

“You don’t worry about anything. She can’t take him away from you. Just be careful, you never know what could happen, we saw what happened with Malfoy. She’s very quick to hex.”

Her face started to turn red.

“I know...I’m just scared she’s going to trick him into liking her. I can’t have my Won Won taken away from me.”

She clenched her fists as tight as she could, leaving dents from her fingernails on her palms.

“Just be careful, she can be quite a lot, that Hermione Granger. I really have no clue why Harry Potter likes her so much.”

She was now biting down on her lip as hard as she physically could, coaxing blood. 

Not being able to bear any more nonsense, she jumped out of her four poster bed, and looked out to see the faces of two very shocked witches.

“It’s not wise to gossip about someone when they are in the same room as you.” Hermione growled.

The two witches simply sat in silence, their cheeks a flaming red from embarrassment.

“I’m not going to be ‘taking Ron away from you’. Neither will I be attacking you, or hurting you. You must be absolutely delusional to believe that bullshit.”

Not being able to endure one more second in the company of the two Gryffindors, Hermione charged out of her dormitory. On her way downstairs, she bumped into Ginny Weasley.

“Hey, Hermione. Is everything okay? You look a bit...off. Has anything happened?” She asked, while stretching out a comforting hand.

And after countless weeks of telling people she was okay, that she didn’t care, that she was fine, Hermione was finally ready to accept she wasn’t.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to just  _ accept _ that you are not okay. That you are not fine. That you need some help.

And that is exactly what Hermione did.

So, when Ginny asked her if she was okay, she said no. She said no, and she  _ allowed _ the youngest Weasley to drag her to her dormitory, and she allowed the tears to fall.

After weeks of holding in her emotions, she finally let them all out. 

And it felt fucking good.

She sat there with Ginny, letting out all her frustrations. She talked about how she felt about Ron, she talked about what happened with Malfoy, she talked about what Professor McGonagall had told her, she talked about her desires, her wants, her passions, her troubles, her ups, and her downs. She let out everything that morning.

Life was a fucking bitch.

And she had learnt to deal with it. 

And that morning, as she sat with Ginny, tears falling from her eyes, she realized that telling the young Weasley these things wouldn’t make any difference. 

Her life would still be just as shit as it was before.

But that was okay, because even if it didn’t make a difference, it helped.

* * *

  
  


He was exhausted. Even more so than he usually was.

He had been working tirelessly and relentlessly, and he could finally see some hope. He finally found a small opening, and was determined to go through it. 

He couldn’t fail. He just  _ couldn’t. _

His plan wasn’t fool proof, neither was it easy, but if he could make it work, it would finally be over.

The pain. The suffering. The hurt.

If he succeeded, his father would finally be forgiven, and Draco would take his own place in their ranks. They would finally be safe. Things would go back to how they used to be. They would finally be okay.

But only if he succeeded. And he would make sure he didn’t fuck that up.

“Listen, Draco, have you finished that non verbal spells assignment for Snape? Because for…”

_ Snape… _

He was fucking pissing him off.

He knew about everything. He heard everything. He saw everything. Yet, he acted oblivious to it.

Snape was in Voldemort’s inner circle, one of his most trusted men. He knew about Draco’s mission, yet acted like he didn’t. He acted like he was just an ordinary school teacher, doing his job and kissing Dumbledore’s shoes. 

He was incredibly vague whenever they spoke, almost like he spoke in riddles. And Draco hadn’t a clue of what he was trying to say. He never asked about his mission, or how he was doing, or how much progress he made. It bothered him how unbothered he was.

Snape, to Draco, had almost been his second father. When Lucius wasn’t there for him, Snape was. When he needed to speak to an adult, he went to Snape. When he was little, he always went to talk to Snape about his minuscule, unimportant issues, and as annoyed as he was, he always listened. 

But he wouldn’t listen this year. Whenever he tried to share the details of his plans with Snape, he’d always brush him off, tell him to get going, that he didn’t have enough time. He never listened anymore, and it made him feel fucking lonely.

The only person to have been there for him no matter what was Snape, and this year, even he didn’t seem to give a fuck.

“Draco?”

“Yeah? Sorry, I just...zoned out.”

“If you’re going to be doing that every time I speak to you, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

“I…”

He wanted to. He really did. Confiding his secret in Blaise wouldn’t hurt him, he knew the Italian wizard was loyal. But still, he couldn’t.

He really couldn’t take any chances. If this fucked things up he’d never forgive himself. He couldn’t afford to do that.

“I...I can’t tell you right now. But one day, I will. I promise, one day, I will.”

* * *

  
  
  


After hours of just sitting by Ginny and just releasing everything she had bottled up inside her, she felt better.

She really did.

Thank Merlin she had such great friends.

She loved Harry and Ron, and they were her best friends, but sometimes, she needed a female friend to just  _ talk  _ to.

And that person was Ginny Weasley. 

Whenever Hermione had argued with Ron, Harry acted as the mediator, trying to help  _ both _ of his friends. Harry always came to Ron’s defence, and always convinced her to forgive him, no matter how stubborn she could be.

Sometimes she just needed to talk to someone less biased. Sometimes she needed to talk to a girl. And whenever she did, Ginny was always there.

The youngest Weasley was amazing, she really was. Hermione had never been close with the girls in her year, and Ginny Weasley never allowed her to feel her lack of female friends.

Hermione was thankful. 

Thankful she had people like Ginny in her life. 

Just as she looked up at the clock, she finally realized that it was time for dinner. And after dinner would be her first detention with McGonagall. And Malfoy.

Gathering her things and putting them to the side, she made her way down to the great hall, alongside her friends.

* * *

  
  
  


Dinner was rushed. As always, he consumed the bare minimum he needed in order to survive, and excused himself from the table.

But today, instead of heading to the seventh floor, he headed towards McGonagall’s office.

He was wasting his time. These evenings had always been the time he had gotten the most work done, and for the next two months, they were gone, and would be wasted in the company of McGonagall and Granger.

He really couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes. 

He had made some progress, and was intent on going all the way. Only a bit longer, and he would finally be done. Just a bit longer.

As he turned the corner, he saw Granger already waiting at the door. She was fiddling with her thumbs and bubbling on her bottom lip. He noticed small dents on her lips, and he noticed that her eyes were a bit puffy.

The mudblood had been crying. Good.

Refusing to acknowledge her, he made his way near the office, and stood on the opposite side of the door, maintaining a good distance from her. 

Just as the clock struck seven, Granger knocked on the door. 

“Come in.”

They both made their way in the room, Granger going in first, not stopping to hold the door for him, and he was thankful for that. Wouldn’t want help from the mudblood.

“Good evening, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger. Please take a seat.” Exclaimed the elderly witch, gesturing to the two chairs in front of her desk.

“Your detentions begin today. I have to complete marking an assignment for the first years, but I will be taking the both of you up to the hospital wing, and leave you under the supervision of Madame Pomfrey. You will be cleaning out the bedpans.  _ Without  _ magic. Please remember to behave. If anything occurs during this time, I’ll be compelled to ban the both of you from any Hogsmeade visits for the next two months as well.” Clarified the witch, looking directly at Draco.

He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t be banned from Hogsmeade visits. He  _ couldn’t _ .

“Understood?” Asked McGonagall.

“Yes Professor.” Answered Granger.

“Yes,” said Draco, through gritted teeth.

“Very well. Come along, I’ll escort you to the hospital wing.”

The wizard and witch both stood up, and followed their Professor out of her office. Both refused to acknowledge the other’s presence. 

The three of them walked down the empty halls, tension thick in the air. The only noise that could be heard were the taps of their feet as they walked. The walk to the hospital wing had seemed like an eternity, even though it only took them five minutes. 

Every second in the company of Granger felt like a lifetime.

He was grateful to find an excuse to move away from her when they reached the hospital wing. As soon as they got there, they were directed to the corner of the room, where all the used bedpans lay. .

“You both must clean them without magic. You should be able to be through with them all by the end of the night. Please hand over your wands, I’ll keep them safe with me. You’ll get them back when you are done.” Stated the mediwitch.

As they handed over their wands, Professor McGonagall bid them farewell, and was on her way back to her office.

“I will be in my office if you need anything.” Said Madame Pomfrey.

Nodding to the mediwitch, Granger began her work. Draco merely stood in his spot, not aware of what to do. He had always used magic to clean his things. And now he was being thrown into a room with Granger, asked to clean used bedpans without it.

“Master Malfoy doesn’t know how to clean without magic? How disappointing…”

_ Disappointing. _

It was that word again. 

Just when he’d thought he had become used to it, I came back at him, as sharp as a blade. 

“I’ve never degraded myself to do things like a muggle.” He spat.

“It’s sad,” she whispered, this time not with hatred, but almost with...sadness, “it’s sad you think doing things the muggle way is  _ degrading _ . It’s sad you still think that you’re better than others just because of your  _ blood. _ It’s sad that you refuse to do such a mundane task as cleaning out bedpans, just because you have to do it the muggle way. It’s sad, Malfoy.”

He didn’t know why her tone was so...soft. It almost seemed like she was rebuking him, teaching him a lesson when he had done something wrong, just like his mother. It made him angry. 

It made him  _ furious _ to be spoken to that way by a mudblood.

“You can believe what you want Granger,” he replied, harshly, “but even  _ you _ know, deep inside, that I  _ am  _ superior to you. That  _ you _ don’t deserve your magic.”

“It's a shame really,” she continued, completely disregarding what he had said, “you could’ve been  _ something.  _ You could have been  _ someone.  _ But you blew it.”

He closed his eyes, and clenched his fists. Her words hurt more than he cared to admit, and for some strange reason, he didn’t want to hex her. He just wanted to go away, and be alone. 

Letting his eyes wander over to Granger, he took notice of how she cleaned the bedpans without magic. After quickly learning how to clean the bedpans, he walked over, picked one up, and began to clean.

* * *

  
  
  


Almost two hours after their detention had begun, they were finally done with the task they were given. When they were dismissed, both Draco and Hermione walked away briskly, keeping as much distance between them as they could. They hadn’t spoken that night after Draco had started cleaning, and he was grateful for that. At the end of the corridor, the witch turned right, and Draco turned left, and both parted ways.

For some absurd reason, Draco  _ didn’t  _ feel degraded after cleaning the bedpans. He didn’t feel dirty, like he had expected to feel.

He felt satisfied with the fact that he was  _ capable _ of doing something so easy as cleaning bedpans, without magic.

But his heart still felt heavy, and his fists were still clenched. He kept replaying Grangers words over and over again.

_ “How disappointing…” _

_ “It’s sad, Malfoy…” _

_ “You could have been  _ something.  _ You could have been  _ someone _. But you blew it…” _

Fuck.

He couldn’t let Granger get to him. That’s exactly what she wanted, and he wouldn’t allow it. Dismissing all his thoughts, he quietly muttered the password, and entered the Slytherin common room.

* * *

  
  


a/n: And here’s chapter four! I really wanted to get this up before Monday, because the NBA playoffs finally begin! Been waiting for that shit for a while. 

As busy as I’ll be watching the playoffs, I’ll still try to keep on updating as fast as I can.

Anyways, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for the reviews. They make me so happy. Keep them coming.

Love you all,

Sydney


	5. Chapter 5

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story. They all belong to the lovely Ms. JK Rowling.

Got this chapter up  _ fast _ . Got into a bit of a writing mood after midnight, so I thought, might as well finish the chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

  
  
  
  


Chapter 5

It had definitely gone better than she had expected it to. No hexes were thrown, and he didn’t even make the effort to insult her back.

It was almost...peaceful. As peaceful as it would get with Malfoy.

After she had finished her detention, she headed straight to the Gryffindor common room. She needed to spend some time with her friends, especially Harry and Ron. 

When she entered the common room, the first thing her eyes drifted to was Ron and Lavender, snogging, once again, in the centre of the Gryffindor common room. It was absolutely disgusting.

Without giving them a second glance, she headed to the boys’ dormitories, in search of her other best friend, Harry Potter. 

When she got to Harry’s dormitory, she found him lying in his bed, his hands behind his head and his legs crossed. When he had noticed her, he jumped into a sitting position, grinned from ear to ear, and gestured to her to join him on his bed.

“So,” Harry said, resting his arms on his knees, “How was detention with Malfoy?”

“It was okay.” Hermione replied.

“Okay? Nothing happened then?”

“No…he was quiet. We just didn’t talk.”

“It sounds like the detention went well then.” Exclaimed Harry, smirking.

“That’s pushing the limits. I wouldn’t say it went well, but it was better than I had expected. Enough about my detention, tell me about what’s going on with you and Ginny.” Replied Hermione, giving him her very own smirk.

“I-what?” He began to stutter.

“Mhm. Tell me about you and Ginny. Just because Ronald isn’t the most observant wizard doesn’t mean I’m not. I see the way you look at her Harry. You don’t have to hide anything from me.” She replied, smiling.

“How...how you catch these things blows my mind. I...her...Ginny…”

“Hold on Harry, take a moment, you aren’t confessing a crime,” she joked, “just tell me about how you feel. I might be able to help you.”

“Are you sure?” He asked quietly.

She knew he was talking about Ron. He wasn’t sure if it would be okay for him to discuss his crush with her when hers was currently snogging Lavender Brown just downstairs. She didn’t want Harry to be wary around her. She didn’t want him to hold things in because he thought it would hurt her. All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, when her, Harry, and Ron, spent nearly all their time together. When they were a trio, not a duo.

But it looked like  _ that _ wasn’t happening any time soon.

“I’m sure Harry, tell me.”

* * *

  
  
  


His first detention had been shit. And not in the way he had expected it to be.

He didn’t know why he got so tongue tied back then. He didn’t know why he couldn’t say anything hurtful to Granger when she was spewing her usual bullshit. He didn’t know why her words had hurt, but they did.

They fucking did.

He knew he was shit. He knew he was a failure. He knew he was a disappointment. He had been informed of that many times. Yet, it hurt so much coming from Granger.

And he hadn’t a clue of why it did.

After replaying Granger's words in his head countless times, Draco finally decided that he had endured enough of her. Enough was enough.

He’d show her who was superior tomorrow.

She thought she had a sharp tongue? She thought she could shut him up? She thought she was  _ superior _ to him? He’d show her she was wrong.

During detention tomorrow, he would hit her where it hurt, and then she would regret  _ ever _ speaking to him.

* * *

  
  


She had had a good day.

And it only took her an eternity to get to it.

When she returned from her detention, she had spent the rest of her night just speaking to Harry, something she hadn’t done in a long time.

Just sitting with her best friend, talking about their crushes, being normal teenagers.

But even that didn’t last long.

Their discussion had drifted away from the wizard’s feelings regarding Ginny, and had gone into the increasing number of visions he had been seeing. 

It was concerning.

These visions were usually accompanied by unbearable pains on his scar, and usually lasted for five minutes. She was scared for him. She was scared for her. She was scared for the wizarding world.

Voldemort was getting stronger day by day, and nobody was doing anything. She knew something would happen by the end of the school year. She was almost sure of it.

But through everything, she had to stay strong. 

Because if she didn’t, who would?

* * *

“Do you fancy a fly on our brooms today?”

“I can’t. I have some work to do.”

It was the same thing, again, and again. 

_ What the fuck was wrong? _

Blaise was concerned for his friend. He really was. He was constantly exhausted, and looked like complete shit. Something had happened over the summer, and he needed to know what it was.

He knew the Dark Lord had taken refuge in his home, his mother had found that out from occasional letters from Narcissa Malfoy. He knew Draco’s father was under pressure, especially after what happened last year at the Ministry. And then a lightbulb went off.

_ Could Draco have taken the mark…? _

It seemed almost impossible, yet would be a clear explanation for Draco’s prolonged absences and change of demeanour.

Draco, regardless of what others thought of him, was a good person. For the people he cared about, he could do  _ anything. _ The wizard had only suffered pain from when Voldemort had returned. He lost his childhood, he lost his home, and he lost his father. 

He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve the pain and the suffering, and only those who were close to Draco would know that.

If he had really taken the mark, Blaise needed to find out, and then he’d need to let him know that he would be there for him, no matter what, because no matter how strong we can be, we always need another shoulder to lean on.

Even Draco Malfoy.

* * *

  
  


Time was ticking so fast. It was already time for her second detention with Malfoy. 

And she could proudly say that she  _ wasn’t  _ nervous about it.

Yesterday had been so calm… and she was determined to keep today the same. She just hoped Malfoy had the same intentions.

As she turned the corner and got to McGonagall’s office, she spotted Malfoy coming from the opposite side of the hall. She tried to read him, and she tried to look for some emotion in his features, but it was all the same.

He was fixated on being indifferent. As long as he didn’t bother her, she was okay with it.

They both entered McGonagall’s office the moment it turned seven, both eager to get through with the detention and part ways.

“Good evening, Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy,” stated the witch, nodding to her students.

“The both of you will be polishing trophies in the trophy room today, as I have just been informed by Mr. Filch that he would like some help. You will be supervised by him today.” Finished McGonagall.

Both Draco and Hermione’s faces had gone visibly sour, neither of them wanting to be with Filch that night.

“Would you like me to escort you to the trophy room, or will you be able to walk there alone?”

“We’ll manage on our own, Professor.” Replied Hermione.

“Excellent. I trust that the both of you will go  _ straight _ to the trophy room from here. I will be asking Mr. Filch if you arrived on time.”

“Of course Professor,” replied Hermione, once more.

“Very well then, off you go. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Draco merely grunted.

Just as they were dismissed, they both made their way to the trophy room. As they walked down the hall, six feet apart from each other, the tension between the two was thick in the air. Anyone that passed them could feel it, as the wizard had his jaw set, walking as fast as he could, while the witch bit down on her lip, following him closely behind.

When they reached the trophy room, they were both greeted by the unfriendly voice of Filch.

“Finally! I thought the both of you had strayed off. Follow me.”

They entered a medium sized room, filled to the brim with all kinds of trophies. Silver, gold, bronze, large small, medium, there were all different kinds. Hermione normally would have stopped to admire the sheer volume of trophies in the room, and stopped to read some of them to herself, had she not been in detention with Malfoy.

“Polish as many as you can. Without magic. Don’t leave any spots. You’ll do this until midnight. I’ll come back when I’ll be dismissing you, so don’t even think about leaving. Start working!”

They both went to opposite corners of the room, and each picked up a trophy, as Filch left the room. 

As she began polishing, Malfoy began to speak.

“I heard Weasley was shagging Brown.”

_ There it was… _

“Poor Granger. Your beloved blood traitor has already given himself up to Brown. There go your plans for your wedding night.”

Her grip on the trophy tightened, as she took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

His voice was dangerously low, and had it not been for the fact that they were the only ones in the room, she wouldn’t have heard him.

“Of course, who would want you? You’re a prude little virgin mudblood.” He continued to hiss.

“Stop.”

“You’ve finally found your voice, I was waiting for when you would burst,” he sneered.

“STOP!”

He turned around, and began to approach her.

“Why should I?” He continued. “I’m only speaking the truth. Who  _ would _ want you? The only person you had a chance with is now fucking Brown.  _ Nobody  _ will ever want  _ you _ Granger. And you fucking know it.”

He was so close to her now, just within an arm's reach. How badly she wanted to hex him right then...

If only she had her wand. They’d handed in their wands to Professor McGonagall before detention. 

_ Fuck. _

“Seems like you’ll die a virgin.  _ Nobody  _ will ever want to touch you.”

“Move away from me.”

She was determined not to react.

“Wait...you can’t be serious,” he said, reading the look on her face, “someone has actually been in your knickers? And it doesn’t seem like it was Weasley...who knew the mudblood was capable of that?” He whispered, the corners of his lips curling.

Enough. Enough was enough.

_ Slap. _

She had slapped him. Right across the face. And it felt fucking good. But she wasn’t done yet.

She moved toward him, pushing him backwards.

“Don’t cross your limits.” She hissed.

“You fucking bitch.”

And then within the blink of an eye, they both fell into a nearby pile of trophies.

She felt a stab of pain as something sharp poked into her arm. She looked over to see Malfoy getting up, brushing on his wrist. She saw blood. Good.

“Fucking mudblood.” He spat.

_ That word... _

“Mudblood...what does it mean anyway?” The witch began, in a dangerously low voice. “Does it mean my blood has mud in it? That it is impure? Let’s take a look.” She said, gesturing at her bleeding arm.

“Does this look muddy to you?”

“Granger…” he croaked, warily backing away.

“DOES THIS LOOK MUDDY TO YOU?”

“Granger what the fuck-”

She had grabbed his arm, and pulled out his bleeding wrist.

“Your blood...my blood…it’s all the same. It’s red.”

He looked down at his and Granger’s arms, not being able to move.

With one last piercing look right into his eyes, she released his arm, and returned to her side of the room and resumed her trophy polishing.

* * *

  
  


The rest of the night had passed without a single word. Both Hermione and Draco had resumed their trophy polishing, and neither had said a single word.

When they had been dismissed by Filch at midnight, Hermione headed straight to her dormitory. She ran as fast as she could, and got into her four poster bed. She made sure all of the curtains were closed all the way, shielding her from anything outside. 

And then she went to sleep.

* * *

  
  


He hadn’t been able to sleep for a single second that night. He kept replaying the events of his detention with Granger.

And it bothered him...it bothered him that what  _ should have  _ bothered him didn’t.

He should have been furious that she had slapped him. He should have been furious that she had pushed him. He should have been furious she had caused him to bleed. But he wasn’t.

He didn’t know how the  _ fuck _ to feel about last night. And it bothered him.

_ Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her so far… _

And most of all, what bothered him far more than anything else was the fact that she  _ wasn’t  _ wrong. Both his and her blood had been the same shade of red.

* * *

  
  


Mudblood. Bitch. Virgin.

They were all labels that had been put on her by others. 

They shouldn’t have hurt, but they did. They really did. 

_ Mudblood… _

She convinced herself it was nothing. She trained herself to not be bothered by it. But it hurt. 

_ Bitch… _

She’d heard it from Malfoy. She’d heard it from Lavender and Parvati. No matter how hard she worked, and how many battles she fought in, there would still be people who hated her. 

And she couldn’t change that.

_ Virgin… _

She wished she was. But she wasn’t. She’d lost her virginity to Victor Krum in fourth year, and it was something she’d regret until the day she died. He had been so charming…

But what was gone was gone. She would never get it back.

Finally clearing her mind of anything that happened the night before, Hermione stepped out of her four poster bed, and prepared herself for her day.

* * *

  
  
  


a/n: That has to be the fastest I’ve ever written a chapter. Kinda shocked  _ myself _ that I was able to finish it today.

Okay, okay, okay. Here’s the thing with Hermione’s virginity. For the sake of my story, I needed Hermione to  _ not _ be a virgin, and the only person that made sense was Victor Krum. He  _ had _ been very charming, and as smart as she was, she was only 15. I hope this makes sense.

AHHHH!!! Nine reviews in one day? You guys are the best. Keep them coming.

Love you guys,

Sydney


	6. Chapter 6

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: You guys should know this, but just to remind you, I don’t own anything.

Wanted to put up this chapter at 4am, but I completely blacked out. Here it is!

* * *

  
  


Chapter 6: Cursed

The past week had been boring and bleak.

After her detention with Malfoy, she hadn’t seen him again, not even during mealtimes. It made her...wary. She didn’t know what to think of these absences. 

Harry’s visions were getting worse, and so were his scar pains. It concerned her how fast things were moving. She could almost sense a war coming, even though the atmosphere was calm and cheerful as October cruised by.

She had also noticed that Dumbledore had begun to show up at mealtimes less often, and was seen less in general. 

Harry’s second private lesson with Dumbledore was approaching, as the first one had been nearly a month ago. She didn’t know what to think when Harry had told her about his first lesson. She had expected Dumbledore to be teaching him advanced magic and new spells, to use against Voldemort. But instead, he had shown him his pensieve, and walked him through an encounter between a wizard named Bob Ogden, and the pureblood house of Gaunt.

He was showing Harry all of Riddle’s past. She had always heard the saying that it was good to know your friends, but even better to know your enemies. How exactly knowing about Riddle’s past would help them, she didn’t know, but because it was Dumbledore, she was sure he knew what he was doing.

It was Friday, which meant tomorrow would be the day of their Hogsmeade visit. And also the second week of her detentions with Malfoy.

She remembered her last detention as clear as water. How could she forget…

When he had mentioned Ron.

When he had brought up her blood again.

When she had slapped him.

And finally, when she had grabbed him and gave him the coldest stare she could muster, forcing him to look down at her blood. 

What surprised her the most was the fact that he hadn’t reacted. He hadn’t shoved her off when she grabbed him, and he hadn’t made a single comment after she had walked away. 

It made her think that maybe...he didn’t completely believe what he had been brought up to believe.

The look in his eyes that flashed for just a moment when she had grabbed him had somehow shown her a glimpse of...someone different. Someone better.

That momentary look in his eyes showed her someone conflicted, someone who was forced to believe in certain ideologies, and someone who was forced to live a certain way.

But maybe she was just too quick to seek the good in others.

Whatever it had been, she couldn’t forget it. She couldn’t forget that one look that had flashed in his cool, grey eyes, before they had changed back to put on their usual mask of indifference. It was haunting her, telling her to go in deeper, and expose that look even further.

But she couldn’t. She had priorities, and at the moment, they were to help Harry focus on blocking out his visions and help him interpret the meanings of what he did during his meetings with Dumbledore. 

“Hermione, are you coming for dinner?”

“Coming Harry, just give me a second.”

* * *

  
  


It was finally Friday.

And he didn’t know whether to be nervous or relieved.

Tomorrow they would be going to Hogsmeade, and it would finally be over. He just needed to make sure he didn’t fuck it all up.

His detentions with Granger over the weekend had...distracted him. He didn’t know why he reacted that way. He didn’t know why he didn’t do anything when she slapped him. He didn’t know why he allowed her to grab him. And he didn’t know why the  _ fuck _ he kept thinking about what he had seen when he looked down at their connected arms.

_ Their blood. _

His blood. Her blood. 

He didn’t know  _ why _ it bothered him that hers was red too. 

But he couldn’t dwell on that. Tomorrow was an important day for him, and he had to make sure everything went perfectly.

* * *

  
  


“Ready?”

“Ready. I’ll just go check on Ginny and see if she’s ready too.”

“Okay,” replied Harry, nodding, “I’ll wait in the common room.”

Nodding once more to her best friend, Hermione walked upstairs to Ginny’s dormitory and slowly opened the door.

“Hermione!” 

As the older witch moved forward the younger engulfed her in a hug.

“Shall we head downstairs?” Questioned Hermione, breaking free from the youngest Weasley.

“Let’s go. But first...let’s talk about Ron.”

“Ronald?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to say about him?”

“You know he...he’s been having some problems with Lavender lately. I personally don’t think they’ll be together long, so…”

“So?”

“I was wondering...do you still like him?”

“Sorry?”

“Do you still like him? It’s just...we all had always thought the both of you would be together. All of us. But this year, after he started his thing with Lavender, he clearly fucked things up. I wanted to know...if he left Lavender and came to you, would you take him?”

“Ginny…”

“No, I understand if you can’t answer, it was a stupid question-“

“No, no. I...honestly,” she began, “when I first saw Ron with Lavender, I was heartbroken and absolutely devastated. But after these two weeks...I’ve been thinking about what would happen if we  _ were  _ to be together, and...I don’t think we would work out.”

“What?”

“I just...we disagree on a lot of things. He has no idea of what he wants to do, and I have everything planned out. Sometimes he doesn’t even understand what I’m saying. We’re...just not compatible. I love him, I really do, but these two weeks have given me the opportunity to think about if I  _ really  _ love him the way that I  _ thought _ I did.”

“So...you’re over my brother?”

“It’s not easy to forget the person you thought you loved since third year. But...I’ve come to terms with the fact that him being with Lavender may not be such a bad thing. So, to answer your question, time will tell. I just...don't know at the moment, but I’m sure as time goes on, I’ll know. Let’s head down, Harry’s waiting in the common room.”

Nodding to her companion, the red headed witch gathered her belongings and followed her friend out. She didn’t know how to feel about Hermione’s changed feelings...but she hoped that whatever happened, Hermione would end up happy.

* * *

His palms were sweaty and he was shaking with nervousness, and fingers trembled as he gripped his wand tightly. He felt a bead of sweat run down his forehead, as he clutched a small package in his free hand, careful not to come into contact with the object carefully wrapped inside the cloth.

Taking one last long breath, he stepped inside the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

  
  


“Are you sure you’re okay with Lavender being here? Because we can-“

“It’s fine Harry, it really is. I don’t mind.”

“Are you absolutely sure? Because even if  _ you  _ aren’t bothered, I think  _ I  _ am. It’s getting tiring having to deal with her all the time. I don’t know how Ron does it.” The dark haired wizard exclaimed, with his voice low, making Hermione smile to herself.

“Harry!” She reprimanded, slapping his arm playfully. Her tone lacked the sense of authority that she had intended for. She couldn’t blame him, Lavender was absolutely irritating.

Her friend simply flashed her a smile and continued walking on, trailing behind Ron and Lavender.

A blast of chilly wind whipped Hermione’s face, causing her to adjust her scarf to sit more tightly at her neck. As she looked around, she noticed many students, enjoying their time with their friends, walking around and exploring the shops. It reminded her of when her, Harry, and Ron had been that way. They were together that day, yet they seemed so far apart, Ron with Lavender a few feet in front. She had been spending more time with Harry and Ginny in the absence of Ron, but she still felt incomplete. 

She felt like a part of her was missing.

She missed him. She really did. It had always been her, Harry, and Ron. The three of them. And ever since he had begun his relationship with Lavender, he had somehow...drifted apart. 

She wanted back her best friend. She wanted things to go back to how they always were. She wanted things to go back to normal.

But at that moment, she didn’t even know how to define what  _ normal _ was.

Before she could think of anything else, a loud scream from somewhere behind her caught her attention.

* * *

  
  


It was done.

All he could do now was wait.

He was shaking with nervousness, and his mind was absolutely blank. He was scared for himself, his mother, and his family. If everything went well that day, he would finally be safe. He would be okay. 

“Draco, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Blaise. I’m fine.”

* * *

  
  


“HELP!” 

“Katie!”

“She’s been cursed! Help!”

Without a second thought, Hermione, Harry, and Ron rushed to the witch’s side.

“I told her not to. I told her to leave it, but she didn’t listen!”

“What do you-”

“Hagrid!” Screamed Hermione.

“What’s this…” questioned Harry, gesturing to a small package on the ground.

“DON’T TOUCH IT!”

“HAGRID!”

“What’s going...blimey!”

“Help us!”

With the help of the large wizard, they were able to pull down the witch, and carry her limp form to the hospital wing.

* * *

  
  


She had her shoulder around the sobbing witch, with Harry and Ron beside her. She had been crying for an hour, and was yet to say anything.

“Leanne, you have to tell us what happened,” Hermione began softly, “we need to know so that we can help her. Tell us what happened.”

“I told her not to...but she kept arguing with me. I tried to stop her!”

“Stop her from doing what?” Interjected Harry. “You have to tell us what happened from the beginning.”

“I...okay. We were walking together in Hogsmeade, and then we decided to go to the Three Broomsticks to get some butterbeers. She excused herself to go to the washroom, and when she came back she was...she was acting all funny. She’d wanted to head back to Hogwarts right then.”

“What about the necklace?” Asked Ron.

“Well, that’s why we were arguing. She came back from the bathroom, and said it was a surprise for somebody at Hogwarts and she had to deliver it. She looked all funny when she said it...oh no, I bet she’d been Imperiused and I didn’t realize!”

_ She’d been Imperiused... _

“Did she tell you who it was for?” Questioned Hermione.

“No…she wouldn’t tell me...and I said she was being stupid and not to take it up to school, but she just wouldn’t listen and...and then I tried to grab it from her...and-and-”

“Relax, Leanne. It’s okay.” Reassured Hermione.

“Just tell us one last thing,” added Harry, “do you have any idea of who gave her the necklace?”

“No. I have no idea.”

* * *

  
  


“FUCK!”

“Draco, calm down. What happened?”

“I...I need to go somewhere. Just...I’ll tell you later.”

* * *

  
  


The necklace had been cursed. Until today, it had killed 19 muggles. Katie was told to take it to Hogwarts as a gift for someone. She had been Imperiused…

_ Who could it be? _

Who could sneak into Hogsmeade, busy and full of students, cast the Imperius curse on a student and get away with it?

And who had the person wanted to kill?

Katie couldn’t be the intended victim, she was sure of it. She was merely a pawn in the player’s plan. She had luckily been wearing gloves, and had only the smallest bit of skin touch the necklace through the fabric. She was expected to be okay.

_ But who was the necklace for? _

She didn’t have a clue of what was going on, but suddenly, she no longer felt safe.

Hogwarts was supposed to be safe. Protected. Yet, a student had almost died from a cursed necklace.

As she walked down the halls, on her way to the Gryffindor common room, her eyes stopped on a tall figure rushing by.

_ Draco Malfoy… _

Seeing him made her remember what had happened over the summer, when she, Harry and Ron had followed him to Borgin and Burke’s, under Harry’s invisibly cloak.

And then it all made sense.

* * *

  
  


a/n: And that was chapter six! I’ve been super excited to write it, hope it was okay. This is my first fanfic EVER, so I hope it’s adequate. 

Whoooo! NBA playoffs have been insane! My guys are rocking it, so I’m happy.

Please, REVIEW! I love to see them, I keep checking my phone every ten minutes to check for new ones. Thank you to all the people who have been leaving reviews on every chapter! Love them.

You guys are the best,

Sydney

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK. Rowling.

Yet another quick update! You guys are lucky I have nothing to do in quarantine.

* * *

  
  
  


Chapter 7: Marks

He fucked up.

Badly.

This was supposed to be his opportunity...this was supposed to be  _ it… _ but he fucked up.

And now, Katie Bell was at St. Mungo’s, and Dumbledore was still alive. They would definitely investigate who had given the necklace the the girl, and how they did it. 

He  _ hoped _ he wouldn’t get caught. 

_ The Dark Lord must have heard by now… _

He was sure he knew about his failure. He couldn’t bear to think about what he would do with his parents…

He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to rip his hair out of his head and scream until his voice died out. But he couldn’t. He had to keep trying.

“Draco! How could you be so foolish!”

Looking up at his companion, he set his jaw and glared into his eyes.

“I was just doing my job,  _ Professor  _ Snape.” He said through gritted teeth.

“That was completely and utterly foolish of you. Giving that necklace to that girl and putting her under the Imperius curse! Do you realize that you are lucky? What if she had died?”

“It was the best I could do. I’m trying...but why do you care? Where have you been until now?”

“Draco, I don’t think-”

“Answer my question!” He snapped. “Where have you been this year? You’ve been pretending like  _ I  _ don’t exist. You’ve been pretending like I don’t have a task to complete-”

“You don’t understand boy! You should have been smart enough to know that-”

“I should’ve been smart enough to know what? Do you realize how difficult this is for  _ me _ ? Do you realize that I’m under constant pressure? Do you realize that if I fail, I will  _ die _ ? Of course you don’t, you’re too busy kissing Dumbledore’s feet to-”

“Enough.” Interrupted Snape. “I know what you are going through, but you have to realize that-”

“Bullshit. You’re wasting my time. I need to go.”

With one last look at his Professor, he turned on his heel, and was gone.

* * *

“Acid pops.”

He couldn’t believe what had happened. He knew the young man had been working on his project in the Room of Requirement, but he hadn’t known that he had purchased the opal necklace as well. Situations were escalating very quickly, and a student was now hospitalized at St. Mungo’s. Something had to be done.

“Good evening, Severus.”

“Good evening? That is what you have to say after witnessing the string of events that have occurred today?”

“Well, what would you like me to say then?”

“We must do something about this! This is getting out of hand! A student almost  _ died _ , Albus.”

“It was quite an attempt. I must say, I had never expected him to procure the necklace-”

“That is not important! We must do something to stop him, before he takes an even more drastic step. What if he kills  _ you _ ?”

“Oh but Severus, he you know he won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“He’s not capable of it. He’s not like his father. I know it.”

* * *

  
  


She still hadn’t told Harry and Ron about her possible new discovery. She was almost sure about who had given Katie the necklace…

She walked down the halls with a determined look on her face, ready for a confrontation with Malfoy. She would find out if he was involved in what had happened today, and the moment she had proof, she’d take it to Professor Dumbledore. 

Just as she was about to take the staircase to go to the third floor, on her way to her detention, she heard a sound coming from somewhere nearby. She located the sound to be coming from the girls’ bathroom. Myrtle’s washroom.

She was about to continue her walk to McGonagall’s office, just when she realized the sound was not Myrtle. 

It was...deeper. It was a male’s voice, and whoever it came from was crying. She slowly walked towards the entrance of the bathroom, making sure not to expose herself. She wouldn’t want to bother whoever was in there, she just wanted to make sure that they were okay.

What she saw inside shocked her more than she had ever been in her life.

* * *

  
  


He couldn’t take it anymore.

He had failed. Again.

_ Such a shame to the Malfoy name… _

_ You never fail to disappoint… _

_ You could have been  _ something.  _ You could have been  _ someone.  _ But you blew it… _

“Fuck!”

He had broken into a nervous sweat, his palms were moist, and his eyes watery. He looked at his reflection in his mirror, and failed to recognize the man he saw in the reflection.

He kept looking. He kept searching. He scanned the reflection from top to bottom, but he couldn’t find him.

He couldn’t find Draco Malfoy.

He simply found a body, the body of a once happy boy, thrown into adulthood too fast. A boy who had his childhood and happiness taken away from him. 

His entire body hurt. He felt like he was set on fire. He wished he really was.

He’d finally let the tears fall as he thought about his mother. What she must have been going through.

“I’m sorry.” He croaked, his voice quivering.

“I’m sorry I failed...I’m sorry you have to get hurt. I’m sorry.”

He started taking deeper breaths, and he grabbed a fistful of his vest, pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side. He loosened his emerald green tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

He simply looked at himself with disgust. He was a failure. That’s what he had always been. That’s how it would always be. 

He used all his strength to swing a punch at the mirror, shattering the glass. His knuckles began to bleed. Good.

Just as he was about to punch the glass again, a small sound from behind him grabbed his attention.

“Malfoy!”

_ What the fuck? What is she doing here… _

“Granger.” He growled.

“Malfoy...don’t...don’t hurt yourself.” She said softly.

“What I do has nothing to do with you. Get the fuck away from me.”

“Listen Malfoy…”

“Did you not fucking hear? Fuck off!”

“I can help you!”

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU FILTHY FUCKING-”

“STOP! Stop. Just...listen. I know what you are going through, let me help-”

“I don’t need the help of a mudblood.” He spat.

Her jaw clenched, and are fingers curled. It would always be the same thing. Mudblood.

“You know...this is pathetic.  _ You _ are pathetic. You are being given an opportunity to get yourself  _ out _ of whatever shit you’re in, and you’re fucking things up for yourself again. You push people away when all they want is to help you.”

He closed his eyes, concealing tears, not wanting Granger to see any more than she already had. 

_ Pathetic… _

“You think you’re so bloody noble, don’t you? You think you can help me?”

“Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll try.”

It slipped past her tongue like it had been the easiest thing in the world to say. She was being so...gentle. Gentle with the person she loathed, the person she had hated her entire life. And it pissed him off.

“You think you can help me...then do one thing Granger. Make this go away.”

With one swift movement, he lifted the sleeve of his shirt to bare his left forearm, inked with the dark mark.

Her eyes popped when she saw it. It made her step backwards, fearful that it would hurt her for being so close to it. She almost felt it judging her background, as if it were a being of itself. She could feel the dark magic buzzing from it, as the snakes moved to wrap around the skull even more tightly. It made her nauseous, and made her want to run away, and hide, to shield herself from its piercing stare. After a prolonged moment, she finally tore her eyes away from the mark to let her eyes drift to Malfoy’s grey ones, misty from tears.

“Make this go away…” he croaked.

“Malfoy…” she whispered, reaching out.

“Just leave.”

“But…”

“Leave.”

* * *

  
  


It had been the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. 

She had seen him when he was the most vulnerable, when he was broken. 

He was sure she would be telling Potter and Weasley about their encounter right after their detention, and he couldn’t bear to imagine what they would do after hearing about his dark mark. 

He couldn’t forget the way she had looked at him when she came in. She looked so pure, so genuine, baring her emotions to him like it had been nothing. 

He had tried so hard to not break in front of her. He really did. But he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling. 

He had cried in front of Hermione Granger.

Fuck.

And then he’d shown her his dark mark.

_ Fuck _ .

When he bared his arm for her to see, something felt...wrong. It felt wrong to show her something so disgusting. It felt wrong to expose her to it.

She was too pure. 

The look in her eyes when she had seen it still haunted him. She looked scared. Shocked. Disgusted.

He needed to find a way to get Granger to stay away from him. She was...making things difficult.

* * *

  
  


That day’s detention had simply been writing lines. Thank Merlin for that, she couldn’t deal with doing anything else at the moment.

She was surprised to see Malfoy show up, after their meeting in Myrtle’s bathroom. She had never expected him to come.

He looked as though nothing had ever happened. As though she  _ hadn’t  _ seen him crying. His face was set on indifference.

Throughout detention, Hermione kept sneaking glances at her Slytherin companion, trying to find a bead of emotion in his features. Nothing. 

When detention ended, he left the office before she had even finished gathering her belongings. 

Saying goodnight to her Head of House, she exited the office, and with one last look in the direction Malfoy had gone, she turned in the opposite direction and began her walk to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

  
  


a/n: And that was THE chapter. I hope it was okay, and that I did a decent job of portraying Draco’s feelings. Let me know how it was in the reviews.

Things are gonna change from here. I hope you guys can feel it. Their meeting in the bathroom really changed things, either of them admit it or not.

Before I head to bed, just a friendly reminder: please review! They mean SO MUCH to me, I cannot express how happy I get when I see a new one.

Yours Truly,

Sydney.


	8. Chapter 8

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Any character you may recognize belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 8: Clean

Harry had been right. Malfoy had taken the mark.

Not taken. It had been forced on him.

She still couldn’t forget the moment when he had pulled up his sleeve and thrusted it at her. It glared at her, judging her for her blood. It had looked so terrible...so evil. It was a smear on his pale porcelain skin, marring him for eternity. It just...didn’t look right on him. He didn’t want it. He didn’t deserve it.

_ He  _ was the one who had relentlessly bullied her for years.  _ He _ was the one who had always made her feel like shit.  _ He  _ was the one who had first said that  _ awful _ word to her. 

But he didn’t deserve it.

The look in his eyes when he stared into the mirror would continue to haunt her for her entire life. He looked so fragile...so broken...so vulnerable. His cool grey eyes had been misty with tears, as they trailed down his cheeks and ghosted his skin. He gripped the countertops as if he would die if he let go, his icy blond hair wet from sweat, framing his face. She felt like she could  _ feel _ each individual breath he took, as he gasped for breath as if he were drowning.

Maybe he was…

And then his voice…his voice was coarse, yet so soft. It came out so quietly, and she was sure she wouldn’t have heard what he’d said if they hadn’t been the only two present.

_ “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed...I’m sorry you have to get hurt. I’m sorry.” _

She was sure he had been talking about his family. He had been given a mission, and he had failed to complete it.

He had wanted to kill someone in the castle.

Who could it be?

_ What if the necklace was for Harry…?” _

No. It couldn’t be. Voldemort had made it clear that  _ he _ wanted to be the one to kill Harry. 

If not Harry, then who?

_ Draco was on a mission to kill someone in the castle… _

No wonder he looked like shit.

It had been a whole night, and she still hadn’t told a single soul. Her friends were sitting right beside her as she pushed around her eggs, but she didn’t know  _ why _ she hadn’t told them yet. Something about Draco last night had made her feel like telling someone else would be...wrong. She hated that she felt that way. She hated it.

Something about him last night made her think...deep down, there was a part of him he kept hidden. A part he never showed anyone. Something barely there, but still existent. Something good. And she  _ believed _ she could expose that something, if she tried. 

If she told Harry and Ron about what she had seen yesterday, they’d do something rash, and Draco would end up even more hurt than before.

She...wanted to help him.

She wanted to give him an opportunity...a chance...to prove he wasn’t what everyone thought he was. A chance to let down his walls, and let that piece of  _ good _ in him grow and flourish. She wanted to find out what he had to do, and make sure he took the  _ right _ decision.

“Hermione, you look a bit dazed. Is everything alright?”

“Oh...yes Harry. Everything is fine.”

* * *

  
  


He had done absolutely nothing that day.

And it helped.

He’d spent the entire day with Blaise in the common room. For once...he forgot everything that was going on. He forgot about his task.

After everything that had happened over the course of the past few months, he needed...a day off. A day to just simply do nothing.

Sometimes, nothing is everything. 

He  _ didn’t  _ go to the room of requirement that day, and he  _ didn’t  _ go to Myrtle’s washroom. He doubted he’d ever go there again, after what happened yesterday. 

He tried not to think about it, but his mind kept replaying the pictures in his head, as clear as water.

_ Granger… _

She’d been so...soft. She hadn’t even reacted after he’d called her a Mudblood. The look in her eyes had been so genuine…

It repulsed him.

He hated getting sympathy from a Mudblood. He hated that the only other person to know what he had done was her. He hated that  _ she _ knew something he hadn’t even told his friend.

_ Nobody  _ had ever seen him cry...but now  _ she _ had.

He fucking hated it.

When she had extended her arm out to him, he thought he’d curse her. He had his wand right there, but he didn’t use it. 

And he didn’t know why. 

Something about her genuinity made his defence falter. 

He couldn’t let that happen to him. He couldn’t. Not when he had a task to complete.

With one last look at the clock, he turned on his heel and was on his way to McGonagall’s office for his detention.

* * *

“Good evening, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger.”

“Good evening.” they echoed back.

“Today I will be taking you down to the potions classroom. There was a mishap in the fourth years class...a boy mixed some Abraxan and Mandrake leaves…anyways, there was an explosion, and I will be taking the both of you down to clean the classroom. Nothing to worry about, the mess will be of no harm, the mixture only caused a momentary explosion. I hope you are aware that you are to do this  _ without _ magic.”

“Yes Professor.” said Hermione, while Draco simply nodded his head firmly.

“Very well then, follow me.”

As the two students got out of their chairs, both didn’t dare look at each other, for the fear of showing any emotion and making McGonagall suspicious of anything happening between them. They both stiffly followed in step behind their Professor, maintaining distance between each other, careful not to get too close.

As they walked down the halls, the elderly witch craned her head to look behind at her two students. 

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

Two of the brightest students she’d seen in her many years of teaching, both full of incredible talent and so much potential.

One was of her house, Gryffindor. The witch was her pride, and never failed to make her smile. The moment she’d entered her class in her First Year, she knew she was special. The brightest witch of her time.

The poor girl had been through so much. She’d been petrified by a basilisk in her Second Year, she’d used a  _ time turner _ to complete her classes in Third Year, she’d helped her best friend make it out of the triwizard tournament in her Fourth Year, and just last year, she’d fought alongside her friends in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. 

These things came along with being best friends with Harry Potter.

The witch smiled to herself as a mental image of the golden trio popped up in her mind.

Those three. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ronald Weasley. 

They were practically joint at the hip. Inseparable. They loved each other more than anything, and were  _ always _ there for one another. It warmed her heart to see such a close bond between three of her students.

The second student was similar to the first in many ways, yet he was worlds apart from the first. He was smart, cunning, and had so much potential to be someone great. The boy was spectacular with words, being the only Malfoy heir. 

It was a shame his talents were wasted.

He had been brought up to believe  _ awful _ things, and he’d been taught to do things differently from others. He had always been reserved and stoic with her, only answering questions when asked in class, and acknowledging her when submitting assignments. He was...troubled. 

As she looked at her two students following in step closely behind her, she noticed a difference in the way they walked, and a change in their expressions. They seemed almost...nervous?

The coldness in their demeanours when they were around each other for their first few detentions was toned down, and both of them seemed to be deep in their own thoughts. She noticed Hermione occasionally sneaking glances at Draco, while she bit her lip and walked slowly. 

Could something have happened?

Deciding not to dwell on her observations, the Headmistress waved her students goodbye as she left them in the care of Filch.

* * *

  
  


“The rags are here, get started. I have to go look for Mrs. Norris. I’ll be back at midnight.”

As the caretaker left the classroom to search for his pet, the two students glanced at one another before proceeding to pick up their rags. There was an awkwardness in the air, and neither of them knew how to act in the presence of the other. As they began to clean the mess, Hermione was the one to break the silence.

“Listen Malfoy...I saw-”

“I don’t give a fuck about what you saw, Granger.”

“I know you don’t trust me-”

“No shit-“

“-but I can help you. You don’t have to do whatever you were told to do. There’s another path, Malfoy, take it.”

“You think life is so fucking easy? You think I have the option to just  _ not do it _ ? Fucking bitch.”

Pressing her lips together, Hermione closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She was determined to make this work. She knew she could. 

“When was the last time you took a proper bath?”

“What?”

“Seriously, when was the last time you took a bath? It seems as though you’ve been depending on the scourgify charm for the past few weeks. When was the last time you took a proper bath, Malfoy?”

“I...a few weeks ago.” he admitted.

She couldn’t help but allow a small smile to grace her features. It was the first time she’d smiled in weeks. And it was because of Malfoy. 

His reluctant confession had been a sign of him letting down his walls. 

“You need to begin to take care of yourself. This isn’t good for you. Take a shower.”

“Why do you care?” he grunted.

“I just do.”

* * *

  
  


_ “You don’t have to do whatever you were told to do. There’s another path, Malfoy, take it.” _

He didn’t know why her words affected him so much. But they did. 

When he went to detention that day he had intended on pushing her away...hurting her...putting her in his place…

But she’d only succeeded in leaving a deeper scar.

As he walked through the entrance to the Slytherin common room, before heading to his dormitory, he made a slight detour as his feet directed him to the bathroom.

To take a shower.

* * *

a/n: And that was chapter 8 folks. It took me a bit longer to update than usual, but I hope it was okay! 

Thank you to everyone who’s been reviewing and everyone who has followed and favourited. You guys are the best.

Please, please, PLEASE, review. They motivate me to write more and get the chapters up quickly.

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	9. Chapter 9

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK. Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 9: Needs

It was the first night he had gotten adequate sleep in months.

As he awoke from his slumber, he stretched his arms above his head and allowed a throaty yawn to escape past his lips. He ran his fingers through his icy blond hair as he brought himself up to a sitting position. As hard as he tried to push thoughts of her away, her image was becoming more and more clear in his mind. He couldn’t forget Granger’s words last night…

_ ‘Why do you care?’ _

_ ‘I just do.’ _

It was only three words, yet they had hit him like an icy blast of wind. She had said it so firmly, and so confidently, as if she  _ wasn’t  _ speaking to the boy who had tormented and hurt her for years. 

Why the fuck would she want to help  _ him _ ?

He hated her, and she hated him. That’s how it worked. That’s how it was. That’s how it would always be. But know, she approached him with such gentleness, and wore her emotions on her sleeve as if it was nothing. And he didn’t know what the fuck to think about it. 

Of course, accepting help from Granger would never be an option. He had to do this on his own, and he had to do it soon. He  _ couldn’t  _ let Granger fuck things up.

What confused him the most was that he didn’t know whether to curse himself for the fact that he had given in to Granger’s words and taken a shower last night or whether to enjoy the momentary peace the warm droplets of water had lulled him into. 

Finally pushing Granger out of his thoughts, he made to move to get out of his bed, just when something distracted him.

As he looked down, he noticed a large tent in his boxers. He hadn’t had a release in  _ months.  _ He couldn’t stop to satisfy his own needs and desires when his life was constantly under threat. Yet, he couldn’t help but let Granger’s words drift back into his head.

_ ‘You need to take care of yourself.’ _

Maybe she was right...

Sighing in defeat, Draco allowed his hand to slip under his boxers and pull out his hard length. Slowly and tentatively at first, he stroked it, causing a burst of pleasure to run through his veins. It had been  _ so fucking long _ since he had done this. Done something for himself. 

He began to pump more quickly, as he gripped his sheets with his free hand and rolled his head back in pleasure. As he felt something bubbling up behind his navel, he allowed a groan to escape past his lips. 

He wouldn’t last long. 

But then again, the high never did.

He pumped with a sense of urgency, restless to reach his climax. He’d gone too long without this. He wanted it. Craved it.  _ Needed _ it.

With two more strokes, he was in ecstasy, and just as he reached the end, an image momentarily flashed in his head.

Granger.

_ What the hell? _

Shit. 

Fuck.

_ Fuck. _

No. He hadn’t. He had  _ not _ just thought of Granger while masturbating. Whatever had flashed in his head was  _ not _ that mudblood.

_ Shit… _

Her words were fucking with his head.  _ She  _ was fucking with his head. 

_ He had just masturbated to Hermione Granger... _

_ Fuck. _

Closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, he allowed himself a moment to just  _ breathe _ , before he proceeded to clean up his mess, feeling more disgusted than he had ever felt before in his life.

* * *

  
  


Last night’s detention had gone better than she had expected.

Malfoy seemed to be...getting somewhat affected by her words. She could be deluding herself into believing these things, but the look in his eyes had seemed to give it all away. 

He almost seemed...sad. 

She didn’t have a clue of why he was that way, but he just was. 

And that was a good thing.

She needed to get his walls down in order to get him to trust her. It almost seemed impossible, but Hermione Granger had seen crazier things happen. 

She  _ believed  _ he had someone different hidden underneath all those layers of indifference. He had shown her glimpses of it on various occasions, and she was determined to expose it even further. She needed to guide him to the right path before he did something wrong. 

“Hey, Hermione, don’t you think Malfoy looks...a bit better today?”

She snapped her head up and looked over to her best friend.

“What…”

Her eyes finally found him sitting across the hall on the Slytherin table, seated between Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. He looked  _ much _ better than he had just a night ago, and looked well rested.

He had showered.

She couldn’t hide the smile that graced her features.

It was the second time she had smiled because of Malfoy. 

She noticed that he was also eating. He had listened.

Listened to her.

“Hermione?”

“Oh...sorry Harry, just drifted off. Yeah...he looks better.”

“Hermione...do you reckon he may be-”

“No.” she stated firmly. “I don’t…I don’t think so. It’s unlikely, Harry. You need to focus on your lessons with Dumbledore. That’s what he wants you to do.”

She hated lying to him. She really did. Her stomach twisted as she allowed the words to slip past her lips. She wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t. If she wanted to make this work...she would have to keep it all secret. She had to do it herself.

“Alright then. If you say so…” trailed off the wizard. 

Just as allowed her gaze to drift back to the blonde, her companion spoke again.

“Hermione...I have something to tell you.”

“Yes, Harry?” 

“I...I kissed Ginny.”

“-What?” jumped up Hermione, choking on her pumpkin juice.

“I...I kissed her.”

“Oh my goodness, Harry, finally! I was waiting for this to happen. When was this?”

“Last night, after quidditch practise. We were alone, and she leaned in first...and then we kissed.”

“I’m so happy for you!” she grinned at her friend. “But...does Ron know?”

“No, no. You’re the first person I told. I don’t know how to tell Ron. She’s his little sister, Hermione. I don’t know how he’ll take it.”

“You have to tell him sooner or later. It’s better you tell him first, before he finds out from somewhere else.”

“You’re right...I just don’t know how to tell him.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way. He’s your best friend, Harry. He’ll understand.”

“I hope you’re right.” He murmured.

She was ecstatic for her friend. He  _ needed _ this. He needed Ginny. Harry needed someone who could be with him and balance out his insecurities. He needed someone to talk to about things they enjoyed, like quidditch, to get his mind off everything else in his life. Yes, he had her and Ron, but he needed someone who would love him in  _ that _ way, and someone he could love back. And that person was Ginny.

Finding something to keep her mind off Draco, she turned to her friend and got lost in a conversation about his new girlfriend.

* * *

  
  


Making his way to the Room of Requirement, he had a sense of urgency in his step, and moved through the halls as fast as he could.

He had spent enough time deluding himself into normality. 

In reality, life was a fucking bitch.

Just as he turned a corner, he bumped into a large body heading in the opposite direction.

“Bloody hell, Malfoy. Watch where you’re fucking going. Hasn’t your Death Eater father taught you to look where you’re going when you’re walking?”

“Weasley.”

“Get the fuck out of my way.”

“Don’t speak about my father,” he hissed, in a dangerously low voice, as he glared at the wizard in front of him.

“What are you going to do? Call him over here? His kind isn’t welcome in Hog-”

“LOCOMOTOR MORTIS!”

He couldn’t hold it in. Weasley had pushed him too far. He looked up to see that he had missed his target by a hair as his curse almost kissed his opponents arm. 

“Expelliarmus!”

His wand jerked out of his grasp, and landed with a clack, right beside Weasley’s feet.

He’d disarmed him.  _ Shit. _

Before he could do anything else, Weasley sent another curse in his direction.

“Stupefy!”

It had hit him square in the chest. Draco was flying back, into a stationary Knight. He felt a jolt of pain in his hand as he looked down to see a slash across his palm, caused by a sharp point in the knight’s armour.

Just as he went to get up, he heard a voice from in front of him.

“Ronald! What have you done!”

“It’s Malfoy, Hermione.”

“What did he do?” she questioned.

“Fucking purposely bumped into me.”

“Bumped into you? That’s why you cursed him?”

“He cursed me too!”

“That is no excuse to start fights in the halls! Twenty points from Gryffindor and Slytherin!”

“You’re docking points from  _ Gryffindor _ ?”

“You were involved in the altercation too, Ronald! I can’t just dock points from Slytherin-”

“I get it. You’re mad at me. That doesn’t mean you have to dock points-”

“Mad at you? How dare you! How can you assume-”

“It’s okay Hermione. I get it. I just wish you hadn’t docked points from Gryffindor.”

Before she could reply, he turned on his heel, and left her alone with Draco. 

She was speechless.

_ How dare he? _

After a moment, finally letting go of the breath she had been holding in, she turned around to find Malfoy still in his spot on the ground, clutching his hand.

It was bleeding.

She didn’t know what propelled her to move towards him, but before she knew it, she was kneeling beside him. Finally finding her voice, she spoke up.

“Let...let me heal it.”

“What?”

“Let me heal it.”

“I can do that myself, just leave me the fuck-”

“Just let me heal it. I can do it quickly, and then you can go.”

“Granger-”

“It’ll be quicker if I-“

“For fucks sake, fine!” he said in defeat, shoving his hand forward.

She hadn’t expected him to  _ actually  _ let her heal it. She wanted to push him today, and it worked. Slowly, she took hold of his hand, and began to heal the cut.

Draco watched as she worked. She was being so...gentle. He noticed that her whole face was focused on the task she was doing. He picked up that she would always bite her lip when trying to concentrate on something. 

“Done.”

Snapping out of his trance, he retracted his hand to find a blemish free palm. As Granger let go of his hand, he felt the warm remains of Grangers fingertips on his skin, and that’s when he snapped back into reality.

He remembered what he had done in the morning.

“Don’t fucking come near me again,” he spat. “Go kiss Weasley’s arse, that’ll give you something to do. Just stay the  _ fuck  _ away from me.”

And before she could say anything, he picked up his wand, got up, brushed off his robes, and was off, leaving her kneeling on the floor, alone in the hall.

* * *

a/n: And that was chapter 9. Hope it was okay, I certainly had a fun time writing it.

As much fun as I had writing this chapter, I was extremely nervous too. This is the first time I’ve ever written a sexual scene. I myself don’t know if it turned out okay, even after rereading it a dozen times. Hope it’s not  _ terrible _ .

NBA playoffs have been INSANE. They’re certainly keeping me entertained in quarantine. 

Keep reviewing, guys, They mean the world to me. They really do. So please, I’d really appreciate it if you guys took two minutes to post one. They literally make my day.

Keep reviewing,

Sydney.


	10. Chapter 10

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to the lovely Ms. JK. Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 10: Labels

“Hermione…”

“No,” she stated, shrugging away his hand from her shoulder. “I will  _ not _ listen to you trying to defend Ron right now. Do you even realize how much of an arse he’s being right now?”

“I know, Hermione. He’s being a git right now. But you need to understand that he just had a fight with Lavender, and-”

“I don’t give a fuck if he had a fight with Lavender! He had no right to speak to me that way.”

“He apologized.”

“Don’t you think he’s apologized enough, Harry? Don’t you think it’s time he’s learnt to keep his anger in control?”

“Yes, I agree. But...just hear me out. Ron  _ likes _ you. He has for a long time. Why he started this thing with Lavender...I don’t know. But he really does like you. These past few weeks you’ve been...spending less time with him, and I think he has taken that-”

“ _ I’ve  _ been spending less time with him? Whenever I turn to look at him he’s got his face on-”

“Lavender. I know. I just think that when he breaks up with Lavender, maybe you should-”

“Please, Harry. I can’t talk about Ronald right now. I just...need to be alone for a bit. I’ll see you in Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

Taking a moment to purse his lips and take a look at his friend, Harry finally found his voice and answered.

“Alright...just keep what I said in mind. Be my partner for class?” the wizard said, trying to ease the tension.

“Of course Harry. I’ll see you later.” she replied, with a smile on her lips.

Finally finding an escape, she rushed off to the library.

* * *

  
  


What. The. Fuck.

He’d let her heal his hand.

_ Shit… _

First he had gotten cursed by Weasley, and then he’d let Granger heal his hand. 

He cursed himself for allowing Weasley’s words to affect him. He knew he shouldn’t have reacted, and that he would have ended up with even more detentions if a teacher had caught them. Yet, he couldn’t help but do something when he had mentioned his father.

His blood boiled just from Weasley’s presence, and him mentioning his father had crossed the line. He just  _ couldn’t  _ deal with comments about his family. 

And after he had fallen into the knight…

He was supposed to get up. He was supposed to fight back. He was supposed to say something. 

But he didn’t. And it was because of  _ her. _

After falling back, he had fully intended on resuming his duel with Weasley, but he didn’t know  _ why  _ he stopped himself when he had heard Granger come. Her voice had begun to seem...soothing. It relaxed him, and reminded him of innocence, in the midst of the cruel world he lived in.

And then when she’d knelt down beside him…

Her presence made him drowsy, and made him stay planted in his spot. He simply couldn’t move. 

Her offer to heal his palm had been simply pure and genuine, as though she really  _ cared.  _ As though he wasn’t Draco Malfoy and she wasn’t Hermione Granger.

There were no cruel intentions hidden behind her offer, no intricate plan to hurt him. It was simply her  _ helping  _ him. Her  _ trying  _ to make his life just a bit less miserable.

He’d regretted it the moment he’d allowed her to heal him. He didn’t know what caused him to let her touch him, to accept  _ her _ help. And he didn’t know why the  _ fuck  _ he didn’t pull away the moment she’d cupped his hand with hers..

He was supposed to hate her. Despise her. Stay away from her. He couldn’t believe he’d voluntarily let a Mudblood touch him.

Her fingers had felt like a drug, calm and cooling, lulling him into a false sense of peace as he watched her work. They barely touched his hand, merely ghosting underneath to keep his hand steady, yet the remains of her hold were still there.

As he allowed his fingers to dance across the palm she had healed, realization of what he had done in the morning dawned on him.

Fuck.

He tried to convince himself that it was a mistake. That it couldn’t have been Granger. 

But he knew it was. 

It disgusted him. He was disgusted in  _ himself.  _ He  _ couldn’t  _ degrade himself to do something as low. 

He closed his eyes and grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he released a sigh of exhaustion, not knowing what all this meant.

He had...been deprived of female company for  _ months _ . Everyone had hated him after his father had failed his task in the Department of Mysteries. The Malfoys no longer had the respect and power they once had. Pansy had been told by her parents to stay away from him. She was the only girl he had ever been in a relationship with, even if it hadn’t lasted long. She was his first, and was someone forever etched into a corner of his mind as someone that would be important to  _ him. _ If not as a partner, as a...friend.

She’d been one of the few individuals who had always had a constant presence in his life. And now, even she was gone. 

Granger was the only female he had been in close proximity with in  _ months.  _ It was definitely fucking with his head.

He shouldn’t have allowed her to heal his palm. He should’ve pushed her away the moment she’d tried to come closer. He should have despised her.

But he didn’t.

He should have, but he didn’t.

* * *

  
  


She tried to drown herself in the pages of her book, forget everything that had happened, and pretend today hadn’t occurred. But she couldn’t.

She’d fought with Ron, and now they weren’t speaking with each other. This sort of thing happened regularly, but something about this time was different. She felt a huge weight on her chest, and she didn’t know why it was there.

Her relationship with Ron was becoming...strained. This was the boy she was supposed to love. The boy that was once her everything. She didn’t want him to drift away...she loved him. Maybe not as anything more, but as a friend. 

She needed him in her life. Ron and Harry were her everything. She needed  _ both _ of them in her life. She needed  _ both  _ of them by her side. 

_ And then Malfoy… _

Hiding his secret from her best friends felt so  _ wrong _ . It hurt her more than anything. She felt like she was betraying them, and knew they would be disappointed when they’d eventually found out the truth. Yet, something about Malfoy had pushed her to keep trying. To get him to trust her. To believe that she wanted to help. To believe that she cared. 

She saw it in his eyes...she couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, but every time she looked into his mysterious grey eyes...she found someone different. Someone hidden underneath a mask. Someone she wanted to bring out. 

When she’d seen him bleeding...he looked so broken, so hurt, even though any passerby would read his expressions as rage and anger. One look into his eyes told her that.

She knew he could have healed it himself, but she  _ wanted _ to help him. She wanted to show him that she was there for him, and that he wasn’t alone.

Somehow it had only accomplished the opposite.

When he’d let her grasp his hand, she took a moment to simply look at him in disbelief. She was shocked with the fact that he had  _ allowed  _ her to heal him. She thought she had finally made a huge step forward. That she had begun to crumble his exterior. That he was beginning to let down his walls, and cut off the string of false beliefs taught to him. 

But then everything came crashing down.

Everything had gone so well, until she’d let go. Something seemed to snap in him, as the same look of disgust pooled back into his eyes as he spewed out harsh and painful words. The look she had been so accustomed to seeing.

She wanted to scream until her voice was hoarse. Her frustrations only kept increasing, with Harry’s visions getting stronger, her problems with Ron, and now dealing with Draco. She wanted to drop everything and just go sit in her mother’s lap, and hug her until all the problems in the world seemed to go away. 

But she couldn’t do that.

She was Hermione Granger.

* * *

“Hey Draco, are you okay? You seem a bit out of it today.”

“I’m fine, Blaise.”

“Mate...I know something is wrong. I know something’s been fucking with your head. I know you’re not okay. You haven’t told me, but I know. Friends do that.”

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything now. It’s okay if you’re not ready. I just want to let you know that...I’m here.”

In that moment, Draco realized how important Blaise Zabini was to him. He was the only person that stayed after everything that had happened...the only person that didn’t leave. He had stuck with him through everything, and had proved that he would always be by his side. He was...thankful. Thankful to have a friend like him.

Draco gave his companion a stiff nod before continuing their trek to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

* * *

  
  


“Today I will be teaching you about one of the three Unforgivable Curses. This spell has the capability to place the victim completely under the caster’s control, essentially turning them into a puppet, while the caster controls the strings. Can anybody tell me which curse I am referring to? Anybody? Very well, Miss Granger.”

“You are referring to the Imperius Curse, sir, the only Unforgivable Curse a potential victim has the power to fight.”

He froze up the moment the words had escaped past her lips. 

_ The Imperius Curse… _

Beads of sweat began to trickle down his forehead as he grasped the sides of his seat. His breathing suddenly became ten times more pronounced, as he closed his eyes, shielding everything from his vision. 

It hurt to remember that day. The day  _ he _ had used that curse. 

“Correct, Miss Granger, although I do not recall asking you for any extra information on the curse.”

He looked over to her and saw that she had looked down, and had a slight red tinge on her cheeks. She had looked up, and the moment she did, their eyes locked from across the classroom.

They stared at each other for a prolonged moment, before Draco finally tore his eyes away. The moment she’d looked at him her features had softened almost immediately. She looked at him with a look of sorrow and sympathy.

Shit.

She knew. Of all the people in the room, she was the only one who knew. Snape didn’t care to turn his eyes to him when he had mentioned the curse, but  _ she  _ had. And he knew exactly what she was thinking of at the moment.

He turned his head to take a quick glance at Granger, and noticed that her eyes hadn’t left. She was still staring.

He wanted to run. Get out of the class. Hide.

He wanted to shield himself from everything and everyone around him. He wanted to run to his mother and wrap his arms around her, and cry into her shoulder until no more tears would fall.

But he couldn’t do that.

He was Draco Malfoy.

* * *

  
  


“Class is dismissed.”

The moment Snape had uttered the words Draco rushed to gather his books. He needed to get out. 

“I have to go somewhere. I’ll meet you in the Great Hall for dinner.” 

“Okay...why such a rush?”

“I...I have some work to do. I’ll see you later, Blaise.”

“Alright…” he said, hesitantly.

Within the blink of an eye the young Malfoy rushed out of the classroom, desperate to be alone. Desperate to get away.

He walked into a secluded hall, and finally slowed his steps. He needed to get away from the classroom. Every word said in that class reminded him of what he had done. What he would do. What he had to do.

Just then, he heard footsteps behind him. He stopped in his place.

The footsteps became closer and closer, and he finally forced himself to turn around to see who they belonged to.

Fuck.

Granger.

Seeing her, he continued walking, hoping it was just a coincidence that she was passing by the hall as well. The last thing he needed at the moment was a confrontation with her.

“Malfoy!”

_ Ignore. Just keep walking. _

“Malfoy.” she said again, finally catching up to him. They were now walking side by side, in the long, empty hall. 

“Malfoy, I know what happened in class-”

“No you don’t. You  _ don’t  _ know what happened. You have no fucking idea-”

“-Or maybe I do...and that is what is bothering you.”

“What the fuck-”

“I know exactly how you feel. I know what you’re going through, and it seems like I’m the only one.  _ That  _ is what is bothering you.”

“Just because you saw...doesn’t mean anything. No one has tried to pry anything out of me, and you have no fucking-”

“What if someone had to? No one is forcing you to say anything...what if someone  _ needs  _ to? Malfoy, you don’t have to do whatever you were told to. There’s another way-”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, Granger. I  _ don’t  _ have any other option. I  _ have  _ to do it. You’re fucking forgetting that I am a Malfoy. A Slytherin. Lucius Malfoy’s son.”

Stopping to gaze into his eyes, she took her bottom lip between her teeth before she finally spoke up, in a voice that was barely there, yet as clear as water.

“You may be a Malfoy, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that you are  _ Draco.  _ Labels don’t define us...it is  _ our _ job to let the world know who we are.”

And with a last look at the Slytherin, she turned on her heel and was off, leaving him alone once more.

* * *

  
  


a/n: Finally done chapter 10! Hope it was okay. I am really enjoying writing this story, and I hope to get it done as soon as possible! Not that it’ll be done any time soon, I just want to update as quickly as I can, as school will be opening soon. Once school opens, I don’t know if I can promise the updates will be as quick as they are now, but I’ll try my best.

Holyshit. I’ve literally been stuck at home for six months now. This shit is crazy. I am  _ so  _ not ready to go back to school, but a bitch’s gotta get educated. 

Before I close off I’d just like to appreciate what people are doing in light of current events. Racism is still a huge problem, even though we live in fucking 2020. It’s so great to see this many people speaking up and showing their support. Restores my faith in humanity. BLM.

Once again, please review! They make my day. I love to see them, I’ve read them all more than once now, and every time I’m looking at them, I have a foolish looking grin on my face. Keep them coming.

Love you guys,

Sydney.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I think this is pretty clear, but just to avoid any trouble, I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 11: Names

_ ‘You may be a Malfoy, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that you are  _ Draco. _ ’ _

Was he really? He’d almost forgotten who he was these days. He couldn’t recognize the person he saw in the mirror. Draco had died the moment he’d been brandished with that...mark. What remained was just a body, almost a corpse that was somehow alive...barely. 

_ ‘Labels don’t define us...it is  _ our  _ job to let the world know who we are.’ _

Who was he? He failed to recognize himself...he wasn’t what he once was, and would probably never be that way again. Whatever identity he had was based on all the labels that had been put on him over all the years he had been alive. 

Death Eater’s son. Evil. Malfoy. 

He’d grown up building himself around  _ these  _ labels, shaping himself into the man that he was  _ supposed  _ to be. The man that was Lucius’s son. Somehow along the way, he’d forgotten to pay attention to the most important label of all. 

Draco.

Everyone knew Malfoy, but  _ nobody _ knew Draco. Not even himself.

Draco had always been there, yet had always been lost behind everything else. He’d never allowed that part of him to come out. He’d always hidden it. 

Whenever he’d met someone new, they had almost instantaneously judged him after he’d told them he was a Malfoy. Nobody had ever stopped to learn about Draco. Nobody had ever cared about him.

And what pissed him off was that the person who had  _ tried _ to learn about him had been the girl he was supposed to hate.

_ ‘Why do you care?’ _

_ ‘I just do.’ _

Fuck.

Granger was fucking with his head. Ever since his detentions with her had started he had gotten a bit distracted, and had spent less time on his task. He couldn’t allow that to happen. 

He couldn’t allow her to do that to him. She was only a Mudblood.

Calling her by that name was supposed to make him feel better. It was supposed to give him a sense of peace, and calm him down.

But it only made him feel more sick.

His mind drifted off to their second detention, when they’d been polishing trophies in the trophy room, and they’d both fallen back and cut themselves.

_ ‘DOES THIS LOOK MUDDY TO YOU?” _

Her outburst had caused him to jump, and the change of emotion in her features from anger, to frustration, to sadness, was still a clear picture in his head.

_ ‘Your blood...my blood…it’s all the same. It’s red.’ _

This time he didn’t even try to convince himself that it wasn’t, because it was. It really was.

* * *

  
  


“Thank Merlin, finally done this potions essay. Didn’t think I’d get it done in time.”

“You wouldn’t have had to stay up this late if you had done it when I told you to a week ago.”

Smiling to his companion, the wizard let out a small chuckle before he turned to reply to her.

“Honestly Hermione, I have no clue how you do these things so fast. Essays don’t even come into mind until two days before they are due.”

“At least you get them done.” huffed Hermione. “I haven’t seen Ron today.” she continued, pointedly.

“He’s…”

“With Lavender, I know Harry. He chose to stick his face on her instead of completing his essay.”

“He’s sorted out  _ his  _ priorities.” he laughed.

Hermione slapped his arm playfully as she rose to gather her books.

“Have you told him yet?”

“Told him about what?”

“Ginny.”

“Oh.”

“You still haven’t told him? Harry, he’ll be very hurt if he finds it from somewhere else.”

“I know, I’m working on it. I just don’t know how to tell him I’m...going out with his sister. Why are you smiling?”

“Nothing...I’m just happy to finally see the both of you together. We all knew you both  _ belonged _ with one another. Well, everyone except Ron.” she smiled.

Allowing a laugh to escape past his lips, he turned to his best friend and contemplated whether saying what was on his tongue would be appropriate or not. Finally deciding to ride with impulse, he broke the silence.

“You know...we all thought the same about you and Ron. That you two  _ belonged. _ ”

“I…used to feel the same way, but...things have changed.”

He looked down at the carpet in front of him, as he took in his friend’s words. They were so different from what they had been a few months ago, and he didn’t know how to react. Slipping back out of his trance, he turned to the witch and continued their conversation.

“Changed as in?”

“It’s...complicated. I feel like Ron and I were always  _ expected  _ to happen. Everyone basically pushed it on us. We had so many opportunities too...but we just passed on them. Ron’s my best friend but...we’re not compatible in that way. You know what I mean, Harry.”

“Is there...is there anyone else?”

“What?”

“Do you like someone else, Hermione?”

“No! I don’t, not at the moment. And besides, you and Ron are the only two males I speak to.” she let out with an awkward smile.

She hadn’t meant it to be awkward, but she was terrible at lying. As she let those words slip past her lips, she felt her body tense up, as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. Although she didn’t lie about liking anyone, her friends  _ weren’t  _ the only two males she spoke to. 

She’d realized that this third male had almost...distracted her from what had been going on with her and Ron. He’d allowed her to move on, focus on something else. 

Focus on getting into  _ his  _ head.

Focus on helping  _ him. _

“Alright...just know that I’m always here for you, I know you have a lot on your plate, and sometimes you just need to share things with your best friend. If you ever find that your feelings for Ron come back, or...you start liking someone else, tell me. You’re like a sister to me, Hermione, I want you to be happy.”

She looked up at her friend, and putting her books down, walked up to him to engulf him in a tight embrace.

“Love you, Harry.” she said, as she felt him wrap his arms around her.

“Love you too, Hermione.”

* * *

  
  


As he stepped out of the shower, he ran his fingers through his wet hair and paused at the mirror. He swiped his hand across the fog to create a small square where he could see his reflection. He’d been eating and taking regular showers since...Granger had told him to.

Not that he did it for her. He did it for himself.

He’d looked much better now. He was slowly looking more like his old self, gaining back some weight. His eyes weren’t surrounded by dark circles, and his cheeks were no longer hollow. His skin had a rosy tint on it after his shower, a huge difference from their ghostly pale he was just a couple of weeks ago.

The wizard shrugged in his school robes, and slipped his tie on and used his fingers to tighten the top. He straightened the sides of his robes as he found himself adequate to step outside, into the Slytherin chambers. 

As he walked out the door, a body bumped into him. As he steadied himself using the wall, he looked up to see who it was.

“Pansy…”

“Malfoy.”

_ Malfoy? _

“My apologies.”

“Pansy...listen I-”

“I’m quite busy now, maybe some other time, Malfoy.”

And before he could stop her, she was out of sight.

She’d called her Malfoy. They’d always been on the first name basis. He’d known her since he was three. It was always him, Blaise, and Pansy. They’d been his only...friends. Pansy had even at a time been his girlfriend. 

But now, she too, called him Malfoy.

She was important to him, and he cared about her. He wanted her to be safe and happy. 

If staying away from him would guarantee her safety, he was okay with it. He had already hurt enough people.

* * *

  
  


“Excellent, Miss Granger, a pearlescent purple, just as it should be. Harry, let's take a look at yours...my goodness! Spectacular! Never in all my years of teaching have I seen such a brilliant potions brewer! Just like your mother, you are.”

“Thank you, Professor.” he replied, smirking at Hermione.

She looked down at her potion then his, and although both looked similar, noticed that hers was slightly thicker than the runny consistency described in the book.

“How’d you get it to be like that?”

“Just crush the Aconite instead of chopping it. Releases more toxins.”

She growled with frustration as she heard Slughorn with the Slytherins, on the other side of the room.

“Great work Mister Zabini! Can’t wait to test it out!”

Her eyes found Draco, seated to the right of Zabini, waiting for Slughorn’s comment on his potion, which never came. After speaking to Zabini, the Potions Master glided last Draco as if he didn’t even exist.

If he was disappointed or upset, she couldn’t find out. His face was set on indifference.

Just as she was about to turn back to her potion, her attention was diverted to a loud BANG.

“Fucking hell, Dean! What did you do?”

“Sorry, I think I put in too much Valerian.”

The mixture had exploded, but hadn’t gone too far. Dean and Seamus had managed to move back before it splattered on them.

“Fuck! Useless son of a bitch!”

Her head snapped back to Draco, whose hands were covered in large, painful looking boils.

“Oh my, you must go to the Hospital Wing immediately, Mister Malfoy! I need someone to escort him there.”

“I’ll do it.” Hermione offered.

Harry looked over at her with his brows raised, but she waived him off, telling him it would be okay.

“Yes, Miss Granger, you may go. Anyways, I know you are fully capable of producing a Hiccoughing Solution, so it is okay.”

She nodded to her Professor as she stood up and pushed in her chair. She told her best friend to bring her bag to the common room for her when the class ended, and she rushed out of the class, closely behind her blonde companion.

“Why the fuck did you volunteer?”

“I felt that it was necessary.”

“Why the fuck do you think you know what is necessary and what isn’t?”

Sighing, she turned to face the Slytherin as she pursed her lips together.

“I don’t think I know anything, Draco. I simply do what I feel is right.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: And here’s chapter 11 for you guys. Hope you liked it. I’m trying to update as quickly as possible, because I really want to make up for any late updates over the next few months when school reopens.

I’m super excited for the next few chapters! Things will be getting interesting, so stay in your seats. I can’t wait to write them.

It’s 5am right now, and I’m in my bed, with a cup of coffee, sacrificing my sleep, to get this chapter up. Y’all better thank me.

Just a reminder to continue social distancing in public places, wherever you are!!! I drove by a park today and saw people absolutely ignoring social distancing rules in place! Wear a mask, save a life. Stay strong guys, we can pull through this!

Review. Please. Haven’t been getting a lot of them these past few days. They mean so much to me. 

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.

  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: Don’t own anything. Any character you may recognize belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 12: Look

“I’ve given him the potion, he should be good to go in about fifteen minutes. I’d appreciate it if you stayed until then, Miss Granger. This should be harmless, but you can never be too sure.”

“Of course, Madame Pomfrey. I’ll be right here.”

“Excellent. I have a third year to attend to, I’ll be back in fifteen minutes to check on Mister Malfoy.” Smiling to the students, she pulled the curtain to shield them from the others, allowing her patient to sit in peace.

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“It looks like it does.”

“I don’t fucking care what it looks like.”

“Clearly you’re feeling some kind of-”

“Holyshit, Granger, can you please just leave me the fuck alone? I did  _ not _ ask you to accompany me here.”

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that it hurts. You won’t  _ degrade _ yourself in any way by accepting the fact that you are feeling pain.”

Lifting his eyes to look at the witch seated in the chair beside his bed, he noticed that she was staring at him, waiting for a reply.

“It’s okay to tell me...do your hands hurt?”

“I...yes.” he mumbled.

The moment it had escaped past his lips he regretted it. He didn’t mean to surrender to her words, but her voice was too damn captivating. 

“See? There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re not okay. Acceptance is only the first stage of recovery, Draco.”

There it was again.

_ Draco. _

It was the second time she’d called him by his given name, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Just that morning Pansy had called him Malfoy, and now Granger was calling him Draco.

Everything was fucked up.

It sounded so good coming from her, and it made him feel...normal. It made him feel less terrible, almost as if he  _ wasn’t  _ carrying out a task that would determine whether or not his family lived. It should’ve repulsed him...but he didn’t question it.

He let his eyes wander over to Granger, who was sitting with her legs crossed on the chair beside his bed. She moved her honey coloured curls over to her other shoulder, running her hands through her locks one time before setting them down. Just as his eyes were about to wander elsewhere, he noticed a long scar on the back of her neck, almost as if she had been slashed with a blade. The area around the scar was black, and some areas were deeply scabbed, with some parts beginning to peel.

“Granger...what happened to your neck?”

“My neck?”

“There’s an atrocious scar right on the back of your neck.”

“Oh, this...” she said, reaching up to run her hands along the back of her neck. “I got it last year, in the Department of Mysteries. I was dueling Dolohov.”

_ Last year. Department of Mysteries. _

He’d forgotten that she’d also been a part of the battle. She’d fought against his father, he’d remembered him mentioning it over the summer. 

Hermione noticed his face pale, and she immediately realized why. She had no clue of what to say, so she remained silent. To her surprise, Draco broke the silence.

“Did...did you duel my father?”

It had taken her by surprise. She had never expected to engage in a conversation with him, nevertheless one so personal. She rarely saw him like this, vulnerable and full of sadness, but it was exactly this that convinced her that he would do the right thing, only if directed in the right direction.

“I didn’t duel your father...but he was the leader of the group. He directed all the others and told them what to do. He looked...terrible. He looked like he wasn’t happy doing what he was doing. He looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.”

“Oh.”

“Draco...I may be wrong, but I didn’t see the same look in your father’s eyes that I saw in Bellatrix’s. The want to fight...the want to kill. He looked like he was forced into what he was doing...like you.” she ended off, softly.

“You don’t know if-”

“But I do. I do know. You showed me everything when I found you in Myrtle’s bathroom.”

“You can’t-”

“Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. I saw you that night Draco. I know you don’t want this. I know you’re being forced to do this. There’s another way. Just accept my help…”

“I’d never degrade-”

“Do you really think accepting help from me will degrade you? Do you really believe in those silly beliefs? That purebloods are superior to muggleborns?”

“You know I do, Granger.”

She looked at him with sadness etched across her features. She tried to meet his eyes but he couldn’t meet hers. He simply stared down at the floor, with his jaw set.

“I don’t think you do. I think you’re beginning to doubt all the bullshit you were brought up to-”

“I don’t give a fuck if you-”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you believe I’m inferior to you. That you are better than me only because of your  _ blood. _ ”

He was completely frozen. He didn’t dare look up, because he knew he’d surrender if he looked into her golden eyes. He clutched the bed sheet underneath him, as he closed his eyes and bit down on his tongue. He swallowed once, and all of a sudden his throat seemed ten times more dry.

Just then, someone opened the curtain and brought them both back into reality.

“It has been fifteen minutes, your hands should be fine now, Mister Malfoy. Let me take a look…”

Both the wizard and the witch jumped up from the sudden interruption, and both turned their heads in opposite directions.

“They’re completely healed! You should be good to go, Mister Malfoy. Miss Granger, I think your class is over by now, so I would recommend the both of you head back to your common rooms, unless you have somewhere else to go.”

“Thank you, Madame Pomfrey.” Said Hermione to the mediwitch, with a warm smile on her face.

With that, Hermione and Draco both got up, and took off, both going in their separate directions.

* * *

  
  


“Why’d you volunteer to go with Malfoy?”

Even she herself didn’t completely know why she did. It was an impulsive decision, and she just went with what came to her head. Maybe she subconsciously thought that it would buy her some time alone with Malfoy.

“I was nearly done my potion. Professor Slughorn needed someone to go with him, so I did.”

She hoped it would satisfy him, and to her luck, it did. She looked up to see her best friend smiling.

“They already love you Hermione, you don’t have to follow Malfoy to the Hospital Wing to please them.” he laughed.

She gave him a brief smile, before slipping back into her thoughts. She kept replaying her conversation with Draco. It had been their first civilized conversation. No slurs were mentioned. No hexes were thrown.

She was beginning to see him let down his walls, and it made her smile inside. It really did. 

She saw how much he cared for his family. He only did it for them. He didn’t  _ want  _ to carry out his plan. He didn’t  _ want  _ to be brandished with the dark mark.

He was...the boy who had no choice.

The little glimpses of a different Draco were what kept pulling her to him, why she wanted to know more, wanted to guide him, help him. 

When he failed to look at her, her heart warmed up. He said no words, but it meant so much. It was his reluctant confession that his views were changing.  _ He  _ was changing. 

“Hey, Hermione, do you think Ron skipped Potions to spend time with Lavender?”

“I don’t know Harry, you’ll have to ask him yourself.”

* * *

  
  


He didn’t know why he didn’t look at her. Why he  _ couldn’t _ look at her. Tell her she was inferior like he should have. Pushed her away like he should have. 

He just simply couldn’t move. He was immobilized. His mind kept telling him to look, to speak, to shut her up, but something caused him to look away. To admit defeat.

He went from having painful boils on his hands to having a deep conversation with Granger. 

This shit wasn’t normal.

He was supposed to be doing something else. He was supposed to be focusing on his mission. But everything had been fucked up since the day Granger had found him in the bathroom. 

She found a way to render him speechless, leave him to a point where he was no longer capable of forming words. It bothered him that he  _ didn’t  _ know who had won their arguments, because she would always leave him with an empty, hollow feeling. 

She was fucking everything up. And he couldn’t allow that. 

He needed to push her away. 

But every time he tried to do that, she ended up leaving an even deeper scar than before.

* * *

  
  


Hermione walked through the portrait hole, following closely behind Ron and Lavender. She’d been alone, since she couldn’t find Harry after dinner had concluded. They walked into the common room, full of students, buzzing with laughter.

“I need to finish up an assignment for Trelawny, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, goodnight!”

Giving him a big sloppy kiss, she bid him farewell, leaving him alone with Hermione. He gave his best friend an awkward smile, sensing an awkward tension in the air. 

“I’m going to put away my things in my dormitory. Wait for me here?” he asked.

“Okay,” Hermione replied.

She seated herself down on a chair, and began to take out her books. Just then, she heard gasps from near the staircase, followed by yelling.

Ron.

“What the fuck!”

She ran to the staircase, pushing her way through the crowd, trying to get through to her friend.

“Ron, listen-”

“Bloody hell! I’m on my way upstairs and I find my sister snogging my best friend?”

“We wanted to tell you-”

“This is insane! Harry, how could you do this? That’s my sister!”

“Listen, mate-”

“I don’t give a fuck…”

Finally reaching her friends, she found a very angry Ron and a nervous looking Harry and Ginny. A crowd was gathered around them, all watching the scene unfold.

“Ron!” Hermione yelled.

“Hermione, look, Harry’s been snogging Ginny!”

“I told you to tell him!”

“I know, I was going to but-”

“You knew?” he questioned, gesturing to Hermione.

“I-”

“Of course, you would tell her and not me-”

“Ron, it’s not like that-”

“You were snogging my sister! And Hermione knew! The both of you seem to be getting along quite well these days, why’s my sister the one stuck in between-”

“Ronald! You’re making a scene! You haven’t even heard us out yet-”

“I’ve seen enough. It’s okay, you do what you want. I won’t bother you.”

“Ron…” she called, reaching out.

“Just leave me alone.” he spat.

And with that, he stormed off.

* * *

  
  


a/n: Chapter 12 y’all! Hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a filler chapter, but very necessary for the plot. Like I said, I want to take things slowly, to make this as believable as possible. I want to be able to write this story in a way that will make it actually believable, and not rush into things. But that being said, stay on board guys, interesting things are about to happen!

Schools are officially opening. Damn. I’m intrigued to see how this will play out, especially with some cases of COVID-19 already being found in some schools. Stay safe guys.

I just wanna give a shout out to  **Smilefreckleface** for taking the time to leave me a private message in my inbox. Your kind words literally made me the happiest person on this planet. You’re amazing girl.

Once again, pleaseeeeeee review!!! They never fail to bring a smile to my face. 

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	13. Chapter 13

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to our Queen Ms. JK Rowling.

Whoooooo! Fast update. I was super excited to write this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

  
  
  


Chapter 13: Apologies

It had been five days since Ron had seen Harry and Ginny at the Gryffindor staircase, and he was yet to speak to them after the incident.

“You know, you should have told him first. It really hurt him that you would hide something like this from him, especially after knowing the fact that you told me.”

“I know, I made a mistake, but it wasn’t easy on my part either. I’m going out with his baby sister, Hermione. I didn’t know how he would take it.”

“He would’ve taken it better than how he’s taking it now.”

“I know...he just won’t speak to me. Can you talk to him?”

“He doesn’t seem to be any less angry with me than he is with you.”

“Just try. I know he’ll listen to you..”

Taking a moment to raise her eyebrows at her best friend, with a sigh, she finally gave in.

“Alright, I’ll speak to him. But I cant guarantee anything will happen.”

“Thank you.” he said with a sigh.

The witch smiled at her friend, before leaning over to give him a small hug.

“It’ll all be okay, Harry. He can’t be upset with you for long. And anyways, I think he’ll prefer you to Dean.”

Chuckling, he turned back to his toast. Just then, his girlfriend joined the two of them, approaching with a smile. 

“How’s it going?” she said with a grin, as she bent down to give Harry a quick kiss on his cheek.

Smiling at her two friends, Hermione was the first to answer. “Everything’s fine, we’re just trying to figure out how to lessen your brother's rage.”

Rolling her eyes, Ginny took a seat beside her boyfriend, and they quickly became engaged in a conversation. 

They really looked good together. They really did. Harry and Ginny just seemed to click, as if they were made just for each other. They were extremely compatible, and Ginny was the perfect girl for Harry. She’d never really approved of Cho, but she’d supported it because Harry seemed to really like her. When he’d begun to show signs of liking Ginny, Hermione had been over the moon. Ginny was exactly what Harry needed. She’d be there for him, no matter what, and she couldn’t be happier for them. 

Seeing them really made her question whether her and Ron would work out. Ginny and Harry’s relationship had been anything but convenient. Ginny was Ron’s sister, and she knew he’d have a very hard time accepting their relationship. Yet, their love for each other pulled them closer, and at last they were together. A relationship between her and Ron would be extremely convenient. She’d known him since she was eleven, and had an amazing relationship with his family. Both his and her family encouraged their relationship from when they were fourteen, almost as if everyone had expected them to be together.

They’d been given countless opportunities, yet they never took any. 

She’d expected him to ask her to the Yule Ball, but he didn’t. She’d waited for days, refusing Victor’s offer two times before she accepted. Seeing him flirt with Lavender that year had broken her, and  _ that  _ was what eventually pushed her to make the rash decision of losing her innocence to Victor. She’d regretted her reasons behind taking the decision, but never the person she lost her virginity to. Victor had been the sweetest person to her, and had been only kind and gentle. She was so torn between Ron and Victor that year...she didn’t know who to choose. She could have started a relationship with Victor, and forgotten about Ron, but she finally made the decision to wait. To wait for the boy she had loved since Third Year.

It wouldn’t be fair to Victor. She’d already committed the biggest sin in having sex with him. She knew that he’d really cared for her, even though he knew that they were never officially in a relationship. She couldn’t be with him when she still hadn’t gotten over Ron. 

After Fourth Year, she was almost sure Ron had liked her back. Especially after how jealous he was at the Yule Ball. She’d thought they’d be together by Fifth Year...but yet another year passed and neither of them had made any moves. 

And currently in Sixth Year, he could never be seen separated from Lavender, constantly with his face on hers. 

They’d had so many opportunities...but they passed up on all of them. Their relationship would’ve been the most convenient...yet it never happened.

And then she had finally realized that convenience is what would sometimes lead to failure. 

Finally pushing her thoughts to the side, she got up with her friends, as they made their way outside, to enjoy their Saturday afternoon.

* * *

  
  


His eyes couldn’t move elsewhere. They were glued on Granger.

He watched her from across the hall, sitting with Potter. She seemed so...happy. He watched them embrace and laugh, like there wasn’t a single problem in the world. There was a constant smile on her face, as she burst into a fit of giggles over something Potter said.

She could tell anyone, if she wanted. She’d seen his dark mark. Showing her had been a rash decision, something he’d done without thinking. It could have ruined everything, yet nothing had happened. She hadn’t told a single soul.

She could ruin it all if she wanted. She could go running to Dumbledore, and as soon as they pulled up his left sleeve, they would all know. Yet, she didn’t tell anyone. 

She was trying to fuck with his head, and was making him go insane. She’d touched on sensitive topics, and had always left him feeling empty. He’d wanted to pull out his hair after every conversation they had. He wanted to punish himself for giving in, letting her speak, not pushing her away. 

But somehow she’d become his escape.

His detentions with her were almost becoming something he looked forward to. They were a break from his long, tireless, hard worked days. They provided him with an escape, and simply moments of peace that he wouldn’t get elsewhere. Being in the presence of Granger somehow relaxed him, as if her innocence rubbed off on him. He should’ve hated being near her, but he didn’t. He felt disgusted in himself. 

And he hated the fact that he didn’t know whether to be more disgusted by  _ that _ , or the task he was trying to complete.

* * *

  
  


She slowly approached, as if he were a lion in his cage and she was a squirrel. She was determined to make this work. She was going to approach this softly. She was grateful he was the only one in the common room, and that he was alone. It made everything much easier.

“Ron...” she approached.

He cranes his neck to see who had said his name, and the moment he’d seen Hermione, he’d turned his head back, not even acknowledging her presence.

“Ron.” she repeated, this time more firmly.

No response.

_ Okay… _

“Listen, I know how you feel-”

“Do you? My sister’s snogging Harry! And you knew! None of you found it necessary to inform me?”

“I know Ron, we made a mistake, and for that, the both of us are very sorry. The reason  _ I  _ didn't tell you was that I wanted Harry to tell you himself. It should have come from him.”

“But it didn’t! What’s your point, Hermione?”

“You have to understand what Harry was going through. The only reason he was hesitant to tell you was that he thought you would react the way you are acting right now. He didn’t want to hurt you.”

“He  _ did  _ hurt me-”

“He never wanted to. He only wanted you to accept them, Ron. He  _ loves  _ her.”

The wizard closed his eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. He finally looked up and faced his friend, waiting patiently for his answer beside him.

“It’s not that I don’t accept them. It’s weird, yes, but I wouldn’t have been so upset if he had told me himself.”

“I know. But Harry was nervous, Ron. You have to understand that.”

“I...okay.”

“Okay?”

“I haven’t completely forgiven him, but I’ll deal with it.”

“You’re okay with Harry and Ginny going out?”

“Wipe that grin off your face.” he said with a grin of his own. “Yes, I’ll deal with it. But if he hurts her, I won’t hesitate-”

“Oh, thank you!” she cried, flinging her arms around his neck. “If he hurts her, I will personally hurt him. But for now, we’re all okay.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he turned his head to whisper in her ear.

“I missed you, Hermione. I’m sorry for what I did.”

She instantly froze. 

_ No, no, no. _

But before anything could happen, Lavender Brown walked into the room. 

“Won Won! What are you doing!”

He immediately pulled away, his face turning scarlett from embarrassment. Hermione turned to Lavender to try to make the situation better.

“Listen Lavender, don’t yell at Ron, we are only just-”

“You are  _ not _ just friends! I know you like him, and want to take him away from me! This is just a part of your plan-”

“ _ Excuse me?” _

“What’s going on?” called Harry, entering the common room with Ginny.

“Don’t act dumb! I know you’ve been pining after my Won Won, and you’re trying to steal him away from me!”

Everyone in the room was completely silent. Nobody dared intervene. Hermione was even redder than Ron, with her fists bunched up in anger, and her eyes closed. Glaring at Lavender, she finally found her voice and began to speak in a dangerously low voice, her words as sharp as blades.

“You must be the stupidest person on this planet to assume that I am trying to ‘steal Ron away from you’.” she hissed. “I don’t give a  _ fuck _ about your relationship with Ron. I’m wasting my breath here. I have to get to my detention.”

“Hermione…” called Ron. 

“I’m sorry Ron, I have to go.”

And without a second glance at anyone, she turned on her heel and ran out.

* * *

  
  


She couldn’t stop until she got to McGonnagal’s office. She needed to get as far away from the Gryffindor common room as possible. Before entering, she cast a quick glamour charm on her herself to fix her appearance, and put on a face of indifference. Finally gaining enough confidence, she pushed open the door.

“Good evening, Miss Granger, we were just waiting for you. Take a seat beside Mister Malfoy.”

Dragging her feet across the room, she allowed herself to sit in the chair right beside Draco’s.

“Today you will be helping Hagrid pull out weeds from his pumpkin patch. Without magic, of course. You are to hand your wands to Hagrid once you get there, he will give them back to you at the end of your detention. Let’s hurry on, wouldn’t want to be late.”

* * *

  
  


“Hermione! Haven’t seen ye in a while. Come on, I’ve got a lot of weeds ter pull out, there’s practically an infestation…”

She followed the large wizard out to his garden, with her blonde companion following closely behind her. Both of them hadn’t said a word to each other since leaving the hospital wing. 

“Alright, I’ve got to take yer wands now, I’ll give em back at the end of detention. Don’t worry, I won’t keep ye long, just until sunset.”

“No problem, Hagrid.” Hermione said kindly, as she handed over her wand.

She immediately began working, pulling weeds and leaving them in a corner. She noticed that Draco had begun to do the same.

“I’ve got some skrewts I’ve got ter deal with, if ya need me I’ll be in the hut.”

Waving the students goodbye, the wizard was headed to his hut, leaving them alone in the garden.

The weather was cool and crisp, with the leaves on the trees becoming a dark orange, almost matching with the pumpkins in the garden. The mountains in the backdrop provided a serene backdrop, and wind allowed the trees to sway gently, almost as if they were dancing.

“You seem awfully quiet today, Granger.”

She chose not to respond. It seemed easier than getting into a fight. She just needed to be alone at the moment, and she wanted to finish her detention quickly.

“Why the sad face?” he pushed.

“Just...leave me alone. Let me work.”

Something had happened. She was evidently upset about something. He didn’t know why, but something made him approach her, and continue to push her for an answer.

“What’s the matter, Granger? Couldn’t get in the Weasel’s pants?”

She froze, and dropped the weed she was holding.

“Doesn’t seem like you’ll get there any time soon, Brown’s occupied that area.”

He didn’t know why he was spitting out venomous words. It felt wrong. It felt unnecessary. But he kept going. He was now within an arm's reach of her.

Her eyes were closed, and her fists were balled. She was facing away from him, but she was no longer working.

“Maybe you should go for Potter instead? Maybe he’ll give in?”

He noticed the veins on her hands become more prominent, and her rage was evident, even though she was facing away from him.

“If you really want to fuck Weasley so bad you could-”

“WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?”

She had finally turned around, and she was facing him. She walked right up to him and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. He could feel her agitated breaths on his face.

He hadn’t seen her like this since they had been in the trophy room. Full of raw emotion and anger. He shouldn’t have pushed her. He didn’t know why he did in the first place. He should have left her alone.

“You’re fucking sick.  _ Sick.  _ I should’ve known-”

“I’m sorry.” he blurted out.

Time had seemed to pause for a whole minute.

He couldn’t stop it before it escaped past his lips. He’d regretted it the moment he’d said it. He should’ve pushed her away, but instead he apologized. 

He had done what Granger had told him to do. 

_ Do what feels right. _

Her grip on his shirt had slackened, and the anger on her face was all gone. It was replaced by surprise, and...something else he couldn’t exactly pinpoint. He felt each individual breath she let out, and didn’t dare move. 

He looked straight into her honey eyes, and felt like he was in a completely different world. 

In the name of Salazar, he couldn’t tell who leaned in first.

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhhhhh! Finally done this chapter! I was itching to write it, finally got it done. I hope it was okay. Once again, I don’t want to rush into things, so even after this, I’m going to continue to take it slowly, to make it as realistic as possible.

Damn. NBA playoffs have been CRAZY. I was going absolute nuts. Completely lost my shit when Harden made that clutch defensive play at the end. Love to hate on the Rockets but I gotta give them credit, well earned victory.

Pleaseeeeeeee continue reviewing! Haven’t seen much of them these past few days. Reviews are literally the best thing in the world. Let me know how I’m doing, it’ll help me to improve as an author and help me to write this story. Leave a review!

Stay safe,

Sydney.

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Check my bag. It’s empty.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 14: Mistakes

It was simply nothing.

But a beautiful nothing.

Just a clumsy clash of breaths as their lips connected. It had barely lasted two heartbeats, but they both remembered it as clear as crystal, fresh in their memories. Her bottom lip had been between both of his, as he barely ghosted his tongue over it, getting a taste of her. She felt like a drug, taking him to a completely different world, as they tood there in the pumpkin patch, as the sun slowly died out beyond the mountains.

But good feelings never stayed for long.

It took him only seconds to realize what he was doing, as he harshly pulled away, the wind whipping his face, leaving her standing by herself. He used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth, as Granger merely stood in her spot, breathing harshly. They were both silent for a few prolonged moments, and all that could be heard was the whistling of the wind in the distance. Finally, the Gryffindor broke the silence.

“Draco…”

“Don’t say anything. Don’t speak.”

She usually would have continued, but she had stopped in that moment. She herself couldn’t wrap her head around what had just happened. How it had happened.

How the fuck could she allow it? 

How could  _ he  _ allow it?

She looked up to where he was standing, and noticed that he had moved to the opposite side of the garden and had begun his work. She was grateful for that. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to put as much distance between them as possible. 

She herself moved as far as  _ she  _ could, and went back to her task. She tried to focus on what she was doing, but she couldn’t. His taste was still fresh on her tongue. 

He tasted like mint and spices, with a masculine touch. She put her finger up to where his tongue had been just moments earlier, and almost immediately pulled it down, realizing what she was doing. She put her hand on her forehead, contemplating what she had just done. Turning around to sneak a quick glance at her detention partner, she noticed that he was aggressively pulling out weeds, not pausing for a single second.

Finally, somehow being able to pull out of her thoughts, she got back to her task, eager to leave as soon as possible.

* * *

  
  


As soon as they’d been given back their wands, he ran. 

He ran as fast as he could. 

He needed to put as much distance between them as possible. He didn’t know how it had happened. One moment they’d been arguing as usual, and the next moment their lips were connected.

He shouldn’t have apologized. Granger would take it seriously, and would try to escalate the situation. He had never imagined that it would have escalated in  _ that  _ way. 

For his own sake, he tried to convince himself that she had been the one to lean in first. That  _ she  _ had initiated it. But subconsciously, he knew he had a hand in it too. 

He’d washed his mouth three times, but it felt as though her taste was still fresh on his tongue. She had tasted like vanilla and honey. Honey, just like her eyes.

_ How in the fucking world had it happened? _

He had been the first one to pull away. She hadn’t done anything. She hadn’t stopped it.

_ What the fuck was wrong with her? _

He just didn’t know how to feel. And what bothered him the most of all was the fact that he didn’t know whether to feel disgusted or want to do it a second time.

* * *

  
  


She muttered the password to the Fat Lady, as she stepped through the portrait and entered the Gryffindor common room. She wanted to go to her room as quickly as possible. She just wanted to be alone.

But she never got what she wanted.

“Hermione…”

It was Harry. She stopped in her tracks, not wanting to stay for long. She hoped he wouldn’t hold her back. She would need to talk to him, but later. Not that day.

“Yes, Harry?”

He looked at his friend, and then turned to his girlfriend, who was seated in a chair. He pursed his lips, as he noticed that Ginny was urging him to speak. Finally being able to form words, he turned to his friend.

“Do you want to...you know...discuss what happened today?”

“Not today Harry. I just need to be alone at the moment. I’m sorry, I just need some time alone.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I just want you to know that we’re here for you. Ginny and I.”

Finally able to force a smile, she responded.

“I know. I know you’re here for me. I love you guys, I’m sorry, I just need to be alone. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Flashing a forced smile at Ginny, and then again at Harry, she walked as fast as she could to her dormitory. She  _ hoped _ she wouldn’t encounter Lavender. She was ready to commit murder.

She slowly pushed open the door, and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she found the room to be empty. She looked to the clock, and noticed that it was only eight thirty. Her feet carried her to her bed, and she didn’t even bother to change out of her clothes. She was exhausted, and simply needed to sleep. 

Maybe that would help her to forget everything that had happened that day.

But as hard as she tried, sleep wouldn’t come. Only one thing was on her mind that night.

* * *

  
  


He hadn’t gotten a minute of sleep that night. All he could think of was... _ Granger. _ Her lips. Her tongue. Her taste.

It was bloody intoxicating. He couldn’t afford to allow this to happen. If anyone had found out what had happened, his family could die. He couldn’t believe it himself.  _ How the fuck did either of them allow it? _

Her eyes were what pulled him in. They were so full of emotion, and he could read them with just one look. They’d been full of anger, and the moment he’d apologized, they’d softened. Her gold eyes were what made him do what he did. He couldn’t fucking believe it.

He had a detention with her again that day. He’d have to see her again, right after what had happened last night.

Fucking great.

  
  


She had gone the entire breakfast without speaking to Ron or bumping into Lavender. She wanted to stay away from them for as long as possible. She  _ needed  _ to stay away from them as long as possible. They were no longer her biggest problem.

Just as she was about to walk up the stairs to her room, someone grabbed her by the shoulder. She jumped, and turned around to see who it was.

“Harry! You surprised me. Sorry, just a bit jumpy.”

“It’s okay.” he quickly said, shaking his head. “I need to talk to you Hermione.”

“Does it have to be now?”

“Running away from your problems won’t help, you know.”

A memory one of her detentions flashed in her head, when she had said the same thing to Draco. Giving in, she turned back to her friend.

“Can we speak outside? I fancy a walk.”

“Of course. That’s a good idea. I need to speak to you without any interruptions.”

Both of them exited the common room together, on their way outside. As they walked down the halls. She noticed a wisp of blonde hair rushing through the crowd. She craned her neck to see where the person was going.

“Hermione, are you okay?”

“Huh?” she said, turning her head back to face her friend. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, got distracted. Let’s go.”

They continued until they were whipped with the cool October winds, as they strolled in the Hogwarts grounds. 

“It’s a bit chilly, should’ve brought a jumper.” stated the wizard.

“I’ll cast a heating charm around us.”

When they were finally comfortable, the wizard began talking.

“Hermione, you know, after what happened last night, Ron was really upset.”

“I know he was, I was too, but now I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Harry.” she said with conviction.

“Well...anyways, after last night Ron and Lavender got into an argument.”

“Argument over what?”

“Over...you. She was a bit jealous.”

“She has no reason to be jealous of me. I’m only friends with Ronald, even after whatever I may have felt for him in the past-”

“Just...hear me out. They broke up.”

“What? They broke up over this?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t see it coming. It was going to happen any day now.”

“That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

“Well...yeah. I also wanted to ask you…”

“Ask me what?”

“Now that Ron left Lavender, if he asked out you, would you say yes?”

The question had slapped her like a sudden blast of chilly wind. She knew this would be coming, but she somehow convinced herself it wouldn’t. She’d been preparing herself for this, but she wasn’t prepared. 

The easiest answer would be to say yes. Ron was the boy she was in love with...or  _ had been _ in love with. Her best friend. The boy she had known since her very first year. The boy she had dreamed of being with for  _ years.  _ The boy she had waited her entire life for.

Yet, something kept her from saying no.  _ Something _ made her stomach turn, and keep her from finally going out with the boy she had loved.  _ Something _ kept telling her that going out with Ron would be wrong. 

Something named Draco Malfoy.

She’d only kissed him once, but it was enough to keep him on her mind constantly. They were supposed to hate each other. They were on different sides of a war. Yet, it was what happened last night that kept her from answering yes to Harry’s question.

It made her feel guilty. It made her feel sick. She didn’t know  _ what _ she felt for Draco, but she knew that the only reason she wouldn’t go out with Ron was him. 

Merlin, it was him. 

The moment she’d seen him in the bathroom had changed everything. It had shown her how good he was...how good he could be. He had everything to lose. His wealth. His family. His life. Yet, he kept pushing through. She  _ knew _ he was different inside, and she was determined to wear down his exterior. 

So finally, she had her answer.

“No.”

* * *

  
  


Dinner had just concluded, which meant it was time for his detention. 

Fuck.

He hadn’t been looking forward to this. He had gone the whole day without seeing her, and now he was forced to. 

Gathering his things, he began his walk to McGonnagal’s office. 

He was determined not to speak to her. No matter what she said. No matter what she did. He wouldn’t give in. He just  _ wouldn’t.  _

She would push, and try her best. He was sure of it. But he wouldn’t give in. 

He simply couldn’t afford to.

Looking up, he realized that he had reached the office. Turning the doorknob, he stepped inside. Taking a quick glance into the room, he found that Granger was already there.

“Good evening, Mister Malfoy. Miss Granger and I were just discussing what the two of you will be doing today. Take a seat.” she said, gesturing to the chair across to her. “Today you will be cleaning the History of Magic classroom, Peeves caused a bit of an...explosion, in there. We suspect it was caused by a product made by the Weasley twins, but we aren’t sure.”

Nodding to their professor, both students handed in their wands, before they rose to leave.

“Good night, Professor.” 

“Good night, Hermione.”

After saying goodbye to her Head of House, she slipped out of the office as fast as she could, wanting to hold off a confrontation before they got to Binns’s classroom. 

They began their walk together, but stayed ten feet apart from one another, scared to even share the same breathing space.

They quickly arrived at the classroom, and when they entered, found the ghost of Professor Binns seated at his desk.

“Ah, I was told some students wouldn’t come down. Miss Garner and Mister Malorie?”

“Granger and Malfoy, sir.” replied Hermione, cautious as she allowed her companions name to slip past her lips.

“Yes, yes. I’ll be headed to the staff room. The both of you do your job, and then may head off. The room should be clean when I return.” 

They were left alone in the class, and as soon as the professor had left, the tension in the air had tripled. 

The classroom was covered in a string like material, almost like a very thick spider web. The material wasn’t sticky, so it wasn’t extremely hard to remove. Both students got to work, neither of them uttering a single word.

It had been fifteen minutes before Hermione had finally broken the silence.

“Don’t you think we should discuss what happened last night?”

He had frozen in his place. He knew this would come, but he was determined not to give her what she wanted.

“I don’t know what you're talking about, Granger.”

If he was determined, then she was ready to win. She would  _ not  _ give up.

“Really? I recall the both of us-”

“You must have a misconception.  _ Nothing  _ happened last night.”

“Deny it all you want, you can’t change the fact that you-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP-”

“KISSED ME!”

Everything had gone silent for a whole minute. They simply stared at each other from five feet apart. This time, it was Draco who broke the silence.

“It was a mistake.” he hissed, stepping forward. “It might as well never happened, I would never lower myself to-”

“Kiss a Mudblood? But you  _ did,  _ Draco. You  _ did. _ ”

He had snapped. 

He grabbed her roughly and pushed her against a nearby desk, pinning both of her wrists down.

“Listen Granger...whatever happened last night was a  _ mistake. _ Get it out of your fucking head, because it was a  _ mistake. _ ”

He stared right into her eyes, and was suddenly reminded too clearly of what had happened when they were in the same position yesterday. It had felt too familiar.

Before he could fuck things up, he pulled away, leaving her standing alone, against the desk. 

Just as he walked back to his side of the room, he heard her speak up.

“You have made many  _ mistakes  _ in your life. For once, it’s time for you to take the opportunity to do the  _ right  _ thing.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: and that’s chapter 14 for you! Had a super fun time writing it. This fanfic has really been my escape during quarantine, takes me to a different world.

Okay, so I saw some reviews about this, so I think I need to address this. Some people are asking me to consider making this story into a Hermione x Krum story. So my whole take on Krum is basically to show how important  _ Ron  _ is to Hermione. She lost her virginity to him, yet chose Ron instead. She liked him, but never as much as she liked Ron. I’m a dramione shipper guys, and this is my dramione fanfic. So that’s that.

**Afrancum1** mentioned that I should promote this story on Facebook, but I don’t have a Facebook account! I have a Twitter account though, and I will be promoting this story on there. Opened it yesterday, so I have a sad 0 followers. Follow me to get constant updates on new chapters and things that come up! 

Here’s the link to my Twitter home page:  [ https://mobile.twitter.com/SydneyH85005055 ](https://mobile.twitter.com/SydneyH85005055)

Once again, please, please, PLEASE, review. I can’t explain how much they mean to me. Really. Review.

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.


	15. Chapter 15

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Any character you may recognize in this story belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 15: Taste

It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did.

When he had called their kiss a mistake, she didn’t know why she felt like she had been stabbed. She didn’t know why she had been affected at all.

It really was a mistake. A mistake on both their parts. It was something that couldn’t ever happen again. But still, hearing it out loud made it all different. 

When he’d been that close, for a split second, she thought they would kiss again. It had felt so familiar to the previous night…

But then he’d pulled away just in time. She didn’t know whether to be grateful or mad. His hold was rough, but his eyes were soft. His words were harsh, but his features were conflicted. His words said one thing, but his body language said another.

He seemed to be at war with himself.

She tried  _ so hard  _ to push him out of her mind, focus on something else, forget what had happened, but she couldn’t. It was impossible to forget.

She had kissed Draco Malfoy.

* * *

  
  


Her words kept replaying in his head, no matter how hard he tried to shut them out.

_ ‘You have made many mistakes in your life. For once, it’s time for you to take the opportunity to do the right thing.’ _

What  _ was  _ the right thing?

She kept saying the same thing. Do what feels right. Do the right thing. Follow the right path. His head was full of her bullshit. Even after hearing her saying it again and again, he didn’t have a clue of what the “right thing” was. 

He wanted to scream until his voice was hoarse, and wanted to run away to somewhere where he would be at peace. Away from all the problems in the world. Safe.

Somewhere he and his family could live happily.

But that was only a dream that would never be fulfilled. 

He wanted to punish himself for what had happened on Saturday, not able to comprehend how exactly it had happened. Why it had almost happened a second time that night.

He needed sleep. He needed to go away into a different world, where he would find momentary peace in his dreams, even if it was only for a few hours. He hadn’t had a good night’s rest in  _ months _ , and he simply needed to drift away, until reality seemed fake. 

But even when sleep graced him, it would be accompanied by the demons in his sleep. 

He’d always saw the same things.  _ Them _ being tortured.  _ Them  _ being killed.  _ Him  _ torturing them himself. 

He tried to pretend those things didn’t happen, but even in his sleep, he was brought back to reality. The first time he’d tortured someone had been last summer, just before coming back to school. It had been a girl, who was about his age. 

She was a muggle.

She’d been bound with a spell he didn’t know, and was writhing in pain before he even came. When he’d seen her for the first time, he thought he had seen a ghost. She was starved, not given any food or water for days, circles marked under her eyes. There were scratch marks all over her body, and blood ran down her busted lips. Her hair had been ripped out in certain places, and tracks of dry tears could be seen on her face. He remembered clearly what she had been saying when he entered the room.

_ “Let me go...please. Please. I haven’t done anything, please let me go...it hurts...just finish me. Kill me. I can’t take it…” _

Her voice had been barely audible, but he’d heard every word. Her voice came out raspy and coarse, as she pleaded to them to kill her. She wanted out of it. Seeing her like that alone made him want to throw up.

And then, they’d told him to have a go.

He’d felt like  _ he’d  _ been Crucioed. Every muscle in his body tensed up, as he simply stood in his spot, not moving. Just thinking about it made him shiver.

_ “What are you waiting for, boy? Have a go. Crucio it. It’s been done before, but it’s the most painful of them all. Or are you scared?” _

He’d remembered the look his mother gave him, as she pleaded with him to follow the instructions. It hurt her as well, but it was the only way.

So he’d done it. He Crucioed her.

He remembered exactly how her screams had sounded, each and every one. He remembered clearly the way she’d been writhing, as tears streamed down her face. He remembered everything.

Later that evening, he had seen Greyback carrying out her dead body, with a malicious look in his eyes. 

Her face would continue to haunt him forever. He’d never forgive himself for what he had done. She didn’t deserve it. He didn’t even know her, but she’d been relentlessly tortured for  _ days.  _ Just for fucking amusement.

He remembered crying that day until it was physically impossible for him to let it any more tears. He had locked himself away in the bathroom for hours, refusing to come out until his mother had convinced him that the girl’s body had been taken far away.

So he wouldn’t sleep that night. Sleep was basically torture. It would always bring him back to  _ that  _ day and show him that girl’s face. He couldn’t take seeing it again. 

So he stayed up, staring at the ceiling, waiting patiently for the sun to rise once more.

* * *

  
  


She woke up with a yawn, realizing it was already six thirty. She’d only managed two hours of sleep, her thoughts keeping her awake. She wasn’t ready for an inevitable confrontation with Ron, and simply wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. 

She climbed out of her four poster bed, and walked to the front of the mirror. She glided her fingers along the scar on her neck, then moved them across her collarbone. Guiding her fingers to her face, they finally found her lips, and she allowed them to pause there for just a second.

She replayed the memory of when she had found Draco in the bathroom, sobbing, and vulnerable. She had replayed the memory of when she had grabbed him in the trophy room, forcing him to look at her blood. She replayed the memory of them speaking in the hospital wing, when she told him to look into her eyes and tell her he believed she was really inferior to him, and finally she replayed the memory of them in the pumpkin patch. It was at that moment that she realized that her helping Draco was not  _ just  _ for the benefit of others, but it was to  _ really _ help  _ Draco.  _

He needed guidance. He needed someone to vent to. He needed someone to stick by his side, no matter what. He needed a shoulder to cry on. She had all her friends, but Draco was...alone. He had  _ nobody. _

She needed to do this for  _ him. He  _ needed it. He was lost, she just needed to redirect him to the right path. 

In the past few weeks, he had shown her that he was a better person. That he  _ wasn’t  _ like them. That he wasn’t evil.

* * *

  
  


“You look tired today.”

“What? Oh...didn’t get enough sleep.”

“What’s keeping you up?”

_ I kissed Granger… _

“Nothing. Just insomnia.” he replied, pushing his eggs around his plate. 

Turning his head, he allowed his eyes to drift towards the Gryffindor table. His stormy grey eyes searched for a while, but didn’t find the person they were searching for. He saw Potter and the Weaslette, but failed to find Granger or Weasley. They seemed to be the only ones not at breakfast.

“Let’s go, mate, we’ll be late for Transfigurations.”

“You go...I’ll be right there.”

Nodding to his blonde friend, the dark skinned wizard got up, and left to go to his class, giving Draco a quick pat on the back.

Draco’s eyes kept searching, but he couldn’t find her. He decided she must’ve been somewhere else, and got up to follow behind his friend to go to Transfigurations.

He was walking down a generally empty corridor, just when he’d heard voices coming from the very next hall.

Granger and Weasley.

He told himself to keep walking, and ignore them. He told himself he shouldn’t care what they were speaking about, but his feet pulled him as close to them as he could get.

Her back was turned, and all he could see were her coffee coloured curls cascading down her back, as Weasley looked at her with a soft expression and had his hand on her shoulder.

“I like you, Hermione. I really do.”

He’d taken in a sharp breath as soon as those words had left Weasley’s mouth. She’d  _ had  _ been fucking around with Weasley, and she still had the audacity to speak about what happened between them in the pumpkin patch. 

He didn’t know why, but all of a sudden, he felt a knot in his stomach, and felt his fingers clenching, almost coaxing blood. He shouldn’t have felt possessive about Granger. She wasn’t his. She would never  _ be  _ his. It wasn’t even an option. They hated each other. 

Yet, seeing her with Weasley was enough to make his blood boil.

She’d turned around, and he could finally see her face. She was looking up at Weasley with a soft expression, as though she would kiss him right there.

He’d already had a taste of her, so Mudblood or not, she belonged to  _ him.  _ He would never do it again, but until he wouldn’t have to see her, she was  _ his.  _ Weasley had no fucking right to claim her.

Pushing his jealousy to the side, he finally took a deep breath, and walked past their hall, making sure to glare at Granger, letting her know that he had seen.

Fuck Salazar, he  _ never  _ shared what he deemed his, and for now, Granger belonged to  _ him. _

* * *

  
  


“Listen Hermione, I just...want to apologize.”

“Apologize for what, Ronald?”

“For everything I’ve done. I know what I did with Lavender was wrong. She approached me and...I got excited, and just went with it. Being with her made me realize how important  _ you  _ are to me.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and pursed her lips.

“I’m not following you.”

“I like you Hermione. I really do. I’m sorry if my...thing with Lavender hurt you. I’m sorry. I know this is crazy of me to ask but…do you think you can give me a chance?”

She closed her eyes, and took her bottom lip between her teeth. She knew this would be coming. No matter how much she prepared for this, she still wasn’t ready.

“Ron...I love you, but I’m still not sure whether that’s as a friend or more. I think...we should take some time to think about this. You just broke it off with Lavender, I think you need some time to yourself. Then...after, if we still have feelings for each other...we can see.”

She looked up at his softly, and saw sadness in his features. She knew he’d be sad, but this was the only way. The both of them really needed some time to think about their feelings, and going into something now would end up negatively impacting their friendship. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You’re right. We should take it slowly. This will always be here for us, and I don’t want this to have a negative affect on our friendship. I missed you, Hermione.”

“Me too, Ron.” she smiled back. 

The moment she replied, she saw a flash of blonde hair pass by the hall a couple of steps in front of them.

_ Draco. _

He’d looked angry. She was sure he’d looked directly at her. There was no one else in the hall.

She didn’t know how much of their conversation he’d heard, but for some strange reason, she felt the need to clarify what had happened. She needed to find out what he had heard.

“Ron, I’m getting late for Transfigurations, I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

Giving her companion a light squeeze on his shoulder, she went off to follow Draco. He hadn’t gone far, she could hear his footsteps in the almost empty halls.

She looked by every hall she passed, just when she found the same flash of blonde hair she’d seen earlier, alone in a corridor.

“Draco!” she yelled, catching up.

“What the fuck do you want Granger.”

“You were eavesdropping.”

“Why the fuck do you care? Seems like you finally got into Weasley’s pants.”

“Draco I-”

“Why are you even here? Is his dick too small?”

“Just listen-”

“Just go fuck Weasley, why the fuck are you-”

“Listen!” she finally yelled, grabbing his wrist. They both looked down at their connected hand and wrist, and Hermione immediately pulled away.

“Just...listen. Me and Ron are just friends-”

“Didn’t seem like it-”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Ron! I told him that we should take some time apart before we make any decisions. He’s my best friend above anything else. We are not together. I don’t think I like him that way. ”

Draco’s mouth made an audible clap. He didn’t know why he had such an outburst in front of her, but he couldn’t stop himself. He felt almost...relieved. His features softened instantly, and his body relaxed significantly.

He looked over at her, and noticed her hair was slightly messy from when she ran after him, and a slight blush tinted her cheeks. She was only an arms length away from him. Close. Close enough to touch. 

She stood in her spot, not moving at all, afraid she would disappear if she did. They both locked eyes, grey to brown, for just a moment.

And then she was thrown against the wall, as Draco claimed her once more.

He ravaged on her mouth, sucking, nipping, and licking every spot he could. She responded as soon as he had his lips on hers. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip, as she opened her mouth and granted him entrance. He immediately stuck his tongue in, and took in as much of her as he could.

She tasted like sunshine and berries.

This kiss had felt much more  _ real  _ than their first. The first left them longing for more, longing for a finish. They both felt like they were on fire, their bodies suddenly ten times hotter. 

She ran her fingers through his feathery blonde hair, as she tried to drown herself into the kiss as deeply as possible. She felt his hands on her waist, and she felt one of his fingers slip under the fabric of her shirt. They were both in a completely different world, not aware of what they were doing. A bold suck on her bottom lip caused her to moan, and that was all it took to pull them both back into reality.

He pulled away as fast as he could, settling himself on the opposite side of the hall. They were both panting harshly, Hermione with her eyes closed. She tried to contemplate what they just did, but she simply couldn’t, not when his taste was so fresh on her tongue. Not when her skin still buzzed from the remains of his touch. She opened her eyes, and looked across the hall to glance at Draco.

But he was already gone.

* * *

a/n: chapter 15 y’all! I’m getting to a point where I’m  _ really  _ enjoying writing this, so lucky for you guys, that means constant updates.

So as people had said, I finally got a Facebook account and joined a bunch of dramione groups. It’s AMAZING. I’m having so much fun. Follow me on Facebook for constant updates and new things that come up, @ Sydney Hill. Leave me a message on Messenger, I’d love to chat as well!

Remember guys, continue to social distance in public places. Cases are going up in many countries, we need to bring them back down. We can do this guys!

And lastly, review!!! They mean the world to me, I cannot describe the idiotic grin I have on my face when I’m reading them. 

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.


	16. Chapter 16

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 16: Mountains

They hadn’t seen or spoken to each other for five days.

Their encounter in the empty hall on Monday disoriented both of them. Neither could comprehend what had happened.

Hermione had been distant the entire week, drifting away into her own world. She couldn’t get what had happened out of her head. It was impossible to forget.

When he had pushed her against the wall…

When he had stuck his tongue in her mouth…

When he had placed his hands on her waist…

She hated it. She didn’t know  _ what _ to think about it all. This time  _ he  _ had been the one to kiss her.  _ He  _ had been the one to initiate it. 

_ He  _ had kissed  _ her.  _ The person he had said disgusted him.

This proved that his opinions were wavering. Perhaps he was already doubtful before. She didn’t know. He had gone far enough to kiss a muggle born. 

She’d never been kissed that way before. The only other person she’d kissed had been Victor, and she remembered those being very uncomfortable and sloppy. Draco made something tingle behind her navel, and set her body on fire. He kept her yearning for more, until she got some sort of finish. His kisses made her never want to stop. 

This was bad. She shouldn’t have gotten attached to him. She shouldn’t have allowed this.

But it was too late.

They’d kissed twice, and she’d come to terms with the fact that she  _ cared  _ for him. She really did.

He’d involuntarily let his shield down, and that was what pulled her to him. It showed her that he could be  _ so much more. _

Hearing a knock on her door, she finally pulled out of her thoughts.

“Come in.”

She turned to see who it was, and the flash of long red head immediately told her it was Ginny.

“Hey, Hermione.”

“Hey. Come sit.” she said, motioning over to her to join her on her bed.

“I came in here to talk to you about Ron.” the redhead began.

Hermione didn’t answer, so Ginny took that as a que to continue speaking.

“You know, he was pretty bummed when you told him you weren’t interested.”

“Are you here to tell me I should reconsider my decision? Because Harry already tried that.”

“No! Really...I think you did the right thing.”

“...really?”

“Yeah. He just got out of a relationship, and...I was thinking about what you told me the other day. How you and him aren’t compatible as a couple. I think you’re right. I just wanted to tell you...Ron still likes you Hermione. A lot. And I think that if you ever like someone else in the future, you should let him know. It would cut his final string of hope off, and help him to move on.”

Suddenly, her heart felt it was a thousand times heavier. She felt guilty about hiding something so big from her friends. She felt guilty for kissing the boy who had been so cruel to them for years. She felt guilty for saying no to Ron because of Draco. She didn’t know how to respond, so she remained silent.

“Hermione?”

“...yeah. I will.” she forced out.

The youngest Weasley pulled her friend into a hug, feeling that she needed one at the moment.

“Don’t worry about what happens with you and Ron. In the end, it’ll all be okay.”

* * *

He fucked up. Again.

He didn’t know what came into him when he’d kissed her  _ again.  _ She’d looked so…inviting.

He subconsciously knew what he was doing, but he wanted to make the most of it while it happened. She was like candy, sweet and alluring. 

He’d managed to avoid her for a week, but they had detention again that day. 

Fucking great. 

He would be completely normal. He couldn’t afford to make any mistakes this time.

* * *

  
  


She walked into the common room, and found Harry and Ginny huddled up in a corner, laughing about something together, as Harry had a lazy arm slugged around Ginny’s shoulder.

Merlin, they really were perfect for each other.

The look in Harry’s eyes as he looked at her was enough to show her he was in love. And she was happy that of all the girls in the world, it was Ginny.

“I’d say they’re being awfully mushy, but I think I was worse.”

She turned around to find Ron, walking up to her, with his hands in his pockets.

She chuckled softly, immediately getting an awful flashback of Ron and Lavender in the common room.

“Isn’t she angry? She hasn’t said anything to me, and I was surprised by how calm she is in class.”

“Who, Lavender?”

“Who else?”

“Well...she was quite...fed up with me. I never was able to give her my full attention, even though I was constantly with her.”

She picked up his double meaning, and immediately an awkwardness shifted into the air.

She nervously smiled at him, moving away just a bit. 

“Hallowe’en Ball next Wednesday! All classes cancelled!”

She turned around to find a very animated Dean Thomas running in, with a piece of parchment in his hands. All the students rushed to find out more about the Ball, allowing her to escape Ron’s company. She slowly slipped out of the common room, planning on going to the library, for some peace and quiet.

* * *

  
  


“I’m going for my detention. I’ll see you at night.”

“Alright. See you.”

Nodding goodbye to Blaise, he was on his way to McGonnagal’s office. On his walk there, he noticed the paintings in the halls looking at him differently, almost judging him for something. He decided not to dwell on it, and continued his walk. 

When he turned the corner, he saw Granger entering the office, wearing a red sweater and fitted jeans. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and stopped right at her shoulders.

He followed her in, and took a seat in the chair beside her, as McGonnagal beckoned them to sit.

“Good evening, Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy. Today I’d like the two of you to clean up a bit of a mess on the Astronomy Tower, Peeves decided to shower the floor with dust pellets. It shouldn’t take long, once you are finished you may come collect your wands from me and are dismissed.”

Nodding to their Professor, both students handed her their wands, as they stood up, took their leave, and were on their way to the Astronomy Tower.

Neither made a single sound during their walk their. Draco simply stared forward, while Hermione occasionally glanced at him, nervously.

Her eyes drifted up to his hair, the hair she’d had her hands in just a few days ago. It had been as soft as feathers, and she never wanted to let go.

Shit.

She almost immediately looked away, and noticed that they had arrived at the Tower. When they entered, they found two brooms and mops positioned against a wall for them, as they looked upon the mass of dust sprinkled on the floor. Both got to work right away, wanting to leave each other’s presence as soon as possible.

As they worked, Hermione looked out of the ledge, and saw the beautiful mountains situated just beyond the horizon, lightened up by the moonlight. The trees seemed to sway in the wind, dancing with the ripples of the water on the lake. A bird flew by them, soaring high with its majestic wings. Hermione watched as the bird slowly got smaller, and smaller, as it disappeared. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

It had come out before she had even realized it did. She was too intoxicated with the beauty of the scenery to give it a second thought.

“What?”

“The world. It’s such a beautiful place.”

He paused for a moment, taking in her words. Looking at the scene in front of him, he turned his head slightly to reply.

“These petty things such as mountains simply delude you into believing the world is beautiful. To me, the world is a dark place, in which every man is on his own, fighting to stay on top.”

She frowned at his words, walking up to the railing to let the breeze caress her face.

“In a dark world, it’s important to appreciate the small things that bring us joy. They provide us with an escape, and peace.”

He paused for a second, looking over at her standing at the railing, looking as though she didn’t have a worry in the world.

“And you find mountains to be your escape?”

“I do. Mountains, rivers, trees, nature. They remind me of my childhood, when I used to go on trips with my mum and dad.”

It was odd to him that she was telling him so much. She made it seem like them having a conversation like this was  _ normal.  _ It shocked him how she could spill whatever was in her heart, without a care in the world. 

The clouds shifted over the moon, causing everything to suddenly become much more darker. He saw Granger shiver, before taking a step back from the railing, and wrapping her arms around herself.

“Why so jumpy all of a sudden, Granger? Scared of the dark?” he sneered.

“Not exactly scared...I just don’t like it. Darkness makes me feel like...I’m not in control.”

“You don’t like darkness? Fucking weird-”

“Don’t call it weird. We all have things that bother us, even after how insignificant they can be. You do too.”

“Bold of you to make assumptions about me.”

“So nothing bothers you?”

_ The only thing that bothers me is you… _

“No.”

She shook her head at him, before turning back to gaze at the mountains.

“So...you really aren’t fucking Weasley?”

He didn’t know why he’d said it. It lacked the coldness he’d intended for it to have, and came out before he could stop it

“I’m not. He’s just a friend.”

For some reason, hearing it twice made him feel better, and he didn’t have a fucking clue why. 

“So...you’re a virgin?”

It was a personal question, and one that he was sure she wouldn’t answer. Yet, something pushed him to ask it. He felt the  _ need _ to know.

“I…”

She looked at him, waiting for a response. Taking a deep breath, she decided that being honest would be the best thing to do.

“I’m not.”

He hadn’t know what to expect, but was still shocked. He hadn’t expected her to be involved with anyone other than Weasley.

But stranger things had happened.

“Who?”

She turned back to look at him, and leaned her back against the railing, her arms still wrapped around herself.

“Victor Krum.”

“What-”

“I regret what happened. I shouldn’t have done it...but it was a decision I made solely on impulse.”

He  _ hadn’t _ been expecting that. His mind was suddenly flooded with many more questions, and they were all right on his tongue, daring to spill out.

“When-”

“Why are you asking  _ me  _ so much about my sex life? It’s not like I asked you-”

“Pansy. She’s the only one.”

He didn’t know why, but he felt the need to tell her, especially after she’d told him so much. She shared a part of him with her, and he felt obligated to do the same. It was as simple as that.

The wind gently blew past them, as the clouds cleared. The moonlight was back, and Granger was back at the ledge. He looked at her, and then the scenic picture in front of them, and paused for just a few minutes, to take in the beauty of the Hogwarts grounds.

Perhaps she was right. Maybe we did need to appreciate the little things, once in a while.

* * *

  
  


“Are you absolutely sure, Phineas?” questioned the Headmaster, with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Positive. That’s what Federmore on the third floor told me.”

Retreating to his desk, he took a seat in his chair, and put a sherbet lemon into his mouth. 

“Well,” he said with a smile, “this is certainly a spectacular turn of events.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: damn. Even  _ I  _ didn’t expect to get this chapter up today, but I was really vibing with the chapter, so ended up completing it! Hope you like it.

Once again, reminder that I just opened a Facebook account! Follow me to get updates on the story, @ Sydney Hill. I’d love to chat on Messenger as well, so feel free to leave me a message!

Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing and reading. It means a lot to me that people are reading my story from all over the world, this is crazy they to me.

I know you guys might be tired of this, but pleaseeeeee review. They’re the best thing in the world.

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	17. Chapter 17

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 17: Letters

It had been...nice. 

They stayed up in the Astronomy Tower a bit longer than they were supposed to, both hanging back even after they were finished sweeping. They spoke for a bit, and it had been...quite tame. The topic of her virginity was brought up, she she thought she had no reason to hide anything, so she spoke the truth, but when Draco had told her about  _ him,  _ she was a bit surprised. 

She hadn’t expected him to share that part of him. To share something so personal with her. But she welcomed it all the same.

There had been many long pauses, but they were not awkward in any way. There were more like...comfortable pauses. They gave them both a moment to just do nothing, and collect their thoughts.

They had both stood there, gazing at the mountains, together.

Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.

It was quite odd, but it felt nice. Draco had begun to be less stoic around her, and began to show more emotion. He opened up more, almost making it seem like what they were doing was normal. 

She had always liked to keep her life in  _ her  _ control, and have a full plan of what she was going to do, and have a full understanding of everything that was going on. But for perhaps the first time, she didn’t have a clue of what was happening.

They’d kissed twice, and had gazed at the mountains together from the Astronomy Tower. She didn’t have a damn clue of what was going on.

“Hermione, are you joining us for breakfast?”

“Coming, Harry.”

Forcing her thoughts aside, she got up, and went off to join her friends.

* * *

  
  


He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her words kept echoing in his head, torturing him.

_ ‘In a dark world, it’s important to appreciate the small things that bring us joy. They provide us with an escape, and peace.’ _

Fucking hell. 

The more he tried to push her away, the closer she came. The more he tried to hurt her, the more  _ she  _ affected him. It fucking pissed him off.

“Hey, mate, I think you have a letter.”

He looked up, and noticed a majestic, brown, barn owl, swooping down, right towards him. It dropped off a letter, which fell right into his lap. He looked down at who it was from, and immediately froze. 

He shoved the letter into his pocket, before moving to get up.

“Where’re you going?”

“I forgot something. I’ll be back.”

Hoping that would suffice, he practically ran out of the great hall, needing some privacy. Once he reached an empty hall, he stopped.

With trembling fingers, he slowly peeled open the envelope, and began to read the letter.

* * *

  
  


She tried to not look, but she couldn’t help but allow her eyes to drift over to the Slytherin table, as she walked into the Great Hall. She pushed her hair behind her ear, and nibbles on her lip, as her eyes scanned the table, in search for a certain blonde. 

She finally found him, seated beside Blaise Zabini. He seemed to be deep in thought, and she wondered what he was thinking about. She saw a beautiful barn owl swoop down to drop a letter in his lap, and fly away.

She turned back to look at him, and noticed that his features had changed significantly. He was stiff, with his lips pursed, as he clutched the letter tightly. She saw him get up, as Zabini gave him an odd look. He sped out of the Great Hall, holding the letter in his hands.

_ Who was it from? _

What if he had gotten orders from…

Suddenly, she began to follow him, needing to find out where he was going, with a sense of urgency. She needed to know what was in the letter.

She ran out of the Great Hall, and saw Draco walking just a few steps in front of her. She followed as slowly and quietly as possible, not wanting to give away her cover. She saw him stop in the middle of a hall, and finally open the envelope.

His fingers were trembling, and he broke out into a sweat. 

_ What was in the letter? _

She watched as his eyes scanned the parchment, and tried to read his expressions, to no avail. He was too far. She looked up at his face, and saw him biting the inside of his cheek, with his head bent down. 

_ Was that a tear? _

He took a moment to compose himself, before carelessly putting the letter back in his pocket. He used the bac if his hand to wipe something off his face, before he walked off.

She was just about to call out to him when she noticed the letter had fallen out of his pocket, and had dropped to the floor. Making sure he was gone, she walked up to it, and bent down to pick it up.

_ From Narcissa Malfoy. _

It was from his mother.

She slowly unfolded the parchment, opening up the letter to read its contents.

_ Dear Draco, _

_ How are you doing, love? We have been missing you so much, your father and I. Just the other day, I found a box with all your old toys in the attic! It had that awful bear you seemed to love so much, I have it safe, it’s waiting for you. _

_ We heard about what happened with the girl in Hogsmeade. It’s okay. We’re so proud of you, Draco. So proud. You’re doing this for us, we know. Once it’s all over, we can be happy again. Once it’s all over, you can come back home, and I’ll have all your favourite meals prepared, waiting for you. We can take a vacation to the villa in France, and give ourselves a break from everything happening here. Just stay safe Draco. Please. Stay safe. _

_ Your father and I are doing fine. We simply stay to our quarters in the Manor, occasionally going out for a stroll in the gardens. There are an incredible amount of magnolias this year! You loved to smell the magnolias when you were younger. Your father always allowed you to pick one every time you went into the garden. _

_ We love you, Draco. Don’t be scared. We wish we could do more for you, we really do. Have patience and faith, it will all work out. We just want you to come home. I want my son back. Just keep trying. All I want you to know is that at the end of it all, I love you, and will always love you no matter what. _

_ Love, _

_ Mother. _

She held the letter in her hands, tears streaming from her face. Reading it, she could almost  _ feel _ Narcissa’s pain. She knew that the mother longed to see her son, have him back with her once more. Whatever he was told to do was evidently dangerous, and extremely difficult. Her heart ached for him, and reading the letter from his mother made her want to just reach out and keep him safe.

“Hermione!”

Quickly brushing her tears off, she slipped the letter into her pocket, and turned around, to find Harry at the end of the hall.

“Where’d you go? We were worried there for a second.”

“Sorry I...thought I saw some Second Years with Fred and George’s products.”

“Of course.” he sighed, smiling. “Let’s go back to the Great Hall, shall we?”

“Let’s go.”

* * *

He couldn’t find the letter. 

_ Fuck. _

Where the fuck had it gone? 

He’d just realized it was missing, and he had a detention right then. He  _ had  _ to find the letter.

It could be with anyone.  _ Anyone  _ could have read his letter his mother sent him. 

_ The letter… _

She had tried to be as optimistic as she possibly could. She said she was fine, but she wasn’t. _He_ _knew._ She didn’t say she was hurt, but he knew. Every day, the pain he experienced in carrying out the task had doubled, because he knew his mother was being tortured at the Manor. He knew.

The parchment had her tears all over it, and her writing was slightly messy, he deduced from shaky fingers. He needed to finish it as quickly as possible. He wanted to go back to her...go back to his mother.

Because she was all he had.

He finally reached McGonnagal’s office, and was eager to get through the detention as quickly as possible. He had to go look for his letter. It hadn’t contained anything that would give away anything major, but he needed it. It was for him. He  _ waited _ for these letters. They were the only things keeping him sane.

Opening the door, he found Granger already there, seated in a chair. She was giving him a look that he couldn’t quite pinpoint, but he decided not to dwell on it. He had to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“Good evening Mister Malfoy. Let’s not waste any time, shall we? Albus has told me to send down a couple of students to the Horace’s room, he said he needed help organizing some of the potions ingredients. He said he will be waiting there for you.”

Nodding to their professor, both students rose to get out of their seats, and moved to get out of the room.

“Good night, Professor.” said Hermione, softly.

“Good night, Hermione.” she replied.

They both exited the office together, and began their walk to the Potions’ classroom. Hermione was still silent, waiting for the right moment to speak. Draco walked much faster than he usually did, desperate to finish his detention as quickly as possible. They finally reached the classroom, and as told, found their Headmaster waiting inside.

“Oh, hello, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger. I was expecting you.”

“Good evening, Professor.”

“I won’t stay around, I have something to attend to, but the both of you will have to arrange the ingredients in this cabinet in alphabetical order. Shouldn’t take long, but I hope the job will be done appropriately and effectively.”

“Of course, Professor.”

“Excellent. I’ll be on my way, good night to the both of you.”

With that, he was gone, leaving the two of them alone in the classroom. She saw Draco immediately begin working, with a sense of urgency. She needed to tell him she had it. She was sure he was trying to find it.

“Draco, I...have your letter.”

He immediately froze, and turned around as fast as he could.

“You what?”

“I picked it up after it fell out of your pocket. I want to give it back to you.” She said, placing the letter on the desk.

He took a few moments to stare at it, before snatching it off the desk, checking to confirm it was his. His eyes drifted back to Granger, before he carefully put the letter in his pocket, making sure it wouldn’t fall out. 

She had read it.

Fuck.

“Don’t think you have some sort of advantage over me now that you’ve read my letter, because I don’t fucking-”

“Advantage? You’re always so quick to jump to conclusions-”

“-care that you’ve seen it. I don’t give a fuck.”

She frowned at him, moving to join him at the cabinet.

“You know, not everyone is selfish. Some people care.”

“And you care for me?” he snorted.

“I...I do. You’re not evil, Draco. You’re just misguided.”

_ That  _ had hit him like a cold blast of chilly wind. He looked up into her eyes, and could only find her honesty. He knew what she was trying to say. Misguided. Was wrong with his beliefs.

“You can dream I’m misguided all you want Granger, but you  _ know  _ who I am.”

“I  _ do _ know who you are. You are the boy who had no choice. You’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do. And I  _ know _ you don’t believe in all that bullshit they’ve fed you. You wouldn’t have...you wouldn’t have kissed me if you did.” she finished.

Her eyes had been soft, and her tone had been gentle. She was still looking at him, waiting for his answer.

“That was a mistake-”

“Twice? You made the same mistake twice-”

“I deeply regret it happening. It was a  _ mistake. _ ”

She took a harsh breath in, closing her eyes.

“All I know is that you are  _ not  _ who you think you are. You are  _ not _ who others think you are. You’re so much better than that Draco…” 

He locked eyes with her one more time, and that was all it took.

They were against a desk, pushing into each other as much as they could. Draco kissed her with a sense of urgency, and she responded just as enthusiastically. His tongue poked at the entrance of her mouth, and she opened up right away, allowing him in. Their tongues massaged each other, as they frantically clawed at one another.

Her hands were in his hair again, as she bit his bottom lip slightly, causing him to moan. Her body felt like it was lit on fire, and she felt something build up behind her navel. 

He ran his hands through her curls, completely intoxicated and unaware of what he was doing. His lips left hers, and latched onto her neck, which coaxed a moan from her. He felt her toying with his hair, as he sat her up on the desk.

She wrapped her legs around his torso, as he pushed into her even more. Their kiss had become more and more passionate, as he slipped his hands underneath her shirt, and placed his hands on her bare waist.

Just as she shifted her legs, she felt his erection against her thigh, and  _ that _ is when she snapped back into reality. She placed her arms on his shoulders and pushed him away, causing him to lose his balance and bump into the desks behind him.

They were both panting, as they braced themselves against the desks to keep themselves steady.

She heard him growl, looking away from her, still standing against the desk. 

She swallowed, not knowing what to do in that moment, as she bit her lip, hard enough to coax blood.

She heard movement, so she looked up to find Draco back at the cabinet, acting as though nothing had happened.

She rose, fixed her shirt, and took a moment to compose herself. She ran her fingers through her hair, and swore she could still feel the remains of his fingers on her skin.

Turning around to fix the desk, she too, got back to work, neither speaking to each other at all for the rest of the duration of their detention.

* * *

  
  


a/n: another speedy update! I’m practically living off of coffee right now. School for me starts in a week, so wish me luck! 

I’d just like to thank everyone that has read this story so far. It means so much to me that others are reading and enjoying my work. Really. You guys are the best.

Super excited yet nervous at the same time to write these coming chapters. Stay on board guys, it about to get a lot more interesting. 

Lastly, reviewwwwww. They’re really important to me, and help me in writing the story and going forward as an author. Please. Leave a review.

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.

  
  



	18. Chapter 18

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Any character you may or may not recognize belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 18: Crystals and Emeralds

It had happened again. 

_ For a third fucking time _ .

They’d both tried to avoid it to the best of their abilities, but it had just  _ happened _ . Neither of them could control what they were doing once their lips had connected.

He wondered...what would he have done if she hadn’t pushed him away? Would he have stopped? 

Not that time.

He needed it. He  _ craved  _ it. Last night, if Granger hadn’t pushed him away, he would’ve gone all the way. He  _ needed  _ a release, a finish. 

Every time they kissed, it left him feeling unsatisfied. It made him desire something  _ more. _ Their kisses left him with an empty feeling in his stomach, and made him want to pull his hair out. He should’ve wanted to push her as far away from him as possible, but he didn’t. He really didn’t. Not when she was so damn intoxicating.

_ She’d read the letter… _

It was supposed to be only for him. It was only for his eyes. But she had seen it.

He clutched the letter in his hand, as he reread the words for the tenth time, using his fingertips to trace the letters. 

He needed to get back to work. 

These past few days, he hadn’t gotten much done, and he needed to get himself back on track. He needed to complete his task. He  _ had  _ to.

Finally pulling himself out of bed, he moved to get ready for his day, wanting to head to the Room of Requirement as soon as possible.

* * *

  
  


She had only gotten three hours of sleep that night. The only thing on her mind was what had happened last night. Again.

She couldn’t even comprehend what they were doing. What  _ she  _ was doing. Thank Merlin she had enough self control to pull away in time, or else even  _ she  _ didn’t know what they would end up doing.

It confused her beyond limits. And she didn’t like it. She didn’t  _ know  _ what was going on. She had no control of the situation.

Looking up at the clock, she noticed that it was nearly time for breakfast, so she quickly did up her tie and headed downstairs to the common room, where she found Ginny already waiting for her.

“Good morning.” she said with a grin.

“Good morning. You seem awfully cheerful today...what happened?”

The smile Ginny proceeded to give her had been even wider than the first. It seemed as though she’d been waiting to tell Hermione whatever she was about to tell her for a while.

“Harry asked me to the Ball last night.”

Smiling to her friend, she pulled her into a quick hug, before she retracted to respond.

“Finally. I was wondering when he’d ask, he’d been talking to me about it the other day.” she replied, genuinely happy seeing her friend so cheerful.

Ginny’s smile had suddenly disappeared, and she began to look nervous, shuffling her feet and playing with her fingers.

“Hermione...I was about to ask, has anyone asked you?”

“Not yet.”

“I just want to let you know...Ron might ask you.”

“I was expecting him to.” she said, with a sigh.

“Well...will you say yes?”

“I have no problem going with him as friends, but if anyone else asks me first, I won’t be waiting for Ron to ask this time.”

Nodding to her friend, Ginny quickly brought the conversation back to herself and Harry, and hoped that her brother would finally ask Hermione, before anyone else did.

* * *

  
  


“Who are you taking to the Ball?”

“I don’t know, haven’t asked anyone.”

“Well, I asked Daphne last night, I can set you up with her younger sister if you wish.”

“Astoria?”

“Yeah. She’s okay, you’ll like her, Draco.” 

“I...okay.”

“So you’re cool with going with Astoria?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

She’d just finished Ancient Runes, and was on her way to the Gryffindor common room. She had an essay to complete, and she wanted to get started on it right away. On her way, she made a detour to the library to pick up some books for her research. 

She strolled through the grand shelves, as she browsed the library for the books she needed. She ran her fingers along the spines, feeling the textures of the different books, taking in their beauty.

She felt as though she’d walked too far, and began to retract, and started walking backwards, looking for a book on Germanic Runes. Bumping into something behind her, she jumped up, and immediately turned around to see what she had bumped into.

“Oh,” she said, sighing, “it’s you.”

“Who’d you think I was?”

“I don’t know...perhaps don’t go creeping up on people next time.” she replied with a smile.

He laughed back, leaning against a shelf. He looked a bit nervous, and was shuffling his feet.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I came here to ask you...will you go to the Hallowe’en Ball with me? Just as friends.” he quickly clarified, with a hopeful expression on his face.

She paused her movement, and took a moment to contemplate her answer. She looked up at him, still standing in his spot, waiting.

“I…”

“It’s okay, I understand. If you’re waiting for-”

“No, no. I’ll...I’ll go with you, Seamus.”

* * *

  
  


He’d just left the Room of Requirement, and once again, had accomplished nothing. Every time he felt that he got a lead, he ended up even more confused than he was to begin. It was almost November, and he had accomplished nothing. 

Yet there he was, forced to make an appearance at a silly Ball in two days, once again, wasting his precious time.

He entered the Great Hall, and immediately found Blaise seated on the Slytherin table. He made his way through the crowd, and finally found his friend.

“Oh, you’re finally here.” he exclaimed. “She said yes.”

“Who?”

“Astoria. She agreed to go to the Ball with you.”

“Oh.”

He really couldn’t care less. Going with Astoria meant nothing to him. It was just a formality. He needed a date, and he had one. The last time he’d personally asked a girl to a function had been in Fourth Year, during the Yule Ball, when he’d asked Pansy. Since then, Blaise had always arranged his dates for him.

The Yule Ball had seemed so recent, yet so long ago. Times were different then…

_ He  _ hadn’t been back.

Draco allowed his eyes to wander over to the Gryffindor table, where he immediately found Granger. She was laughing about something insignificant with Potter and his girlfriend, grabbing the bench to keep herself from falling. She looked so... _ happy.  _ Like she didn’t have a problem in the world.

He wondered if she’d been as bothered by what had happened between them as he did. He wondered if it kept  _ her  _ awake at night too. Laughing with her friends, she seemed to be in her own world, one full of only happiness, not the terrible one they lived in. 

He saw Weasley join them, and although she’d said they were only friends, he clenched his jaw. He didn’t want Granger, but he’d kissed her three times. She was  _ his.  _

Suddenly, her smile had disappeared, and had been replaced by indifference. She’d said something which made Weasley visibly upset, as he took a seat beside his sister, with an expression of shock and disappointment.

What had she said?

He looked to Potter and the other Weasley, and they too had expressions of shock. They were all suddenly silent, looking down at their plates, pushing around their food. 

Whatever she had said, he didn’t have time to dwell on it. He had to get back to the Room of Requirement.

* * *

  
  


“Ginny stop! You shouldn’t be making vulgar jokes about our professors-”

“But he really  _ is _ -”

“Don’t say it again!”

“Okay, okay.” she said, grinning, with her hands up.

Just as Hermione was about to speak, she felt a hand on her back.

“Hey guys.”

She turned around to see her other best friend, greeting them with a smile.

“Ron. Come, sit.”

“I will. But, before that...I want to ask you something, Hermione.”

Fuck.

_ Here it comes… _

“Will you come to the Hallowe’en Ball with me?”

There it was. She had almost been anticipating it, but then again, she’d been anticipating it in Fourth Year too.

If it had been earlier in the year, she perhaps would’ve said no to Seamus, and waited for Ron. Now...she realized that she shouldn’t have to wait. Waiting for Ron would get her nowhere. It only left her feeling hurt.

She turned to look as Harry and Ginny for support, but they seemed to be pretending to be busy, giving her privacy with Ronald. 

Finally, gaining the energy to speak, she turned back to her friend.

“I’m sorry, Ron. Someone already asked me.”

“What? Who?”

“Seamus.”

“You’re going with Seamus?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Why?”

“He asked me first.”

“You could’ve...never mind.”

With that, he took a seat beside Ginny, not turning to glance at her the entire duration of dinner.

* * *

  
  


“So...you’re really going with Seamus?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You know, you could’ve waited for-”

“And that’s the problem, Harry! I could’ve waited. I’ve  _ been  _ waiting my entire life. I thought I  _ loved  _ him. Since Third Year, I’ve never wanted anything more than to be with him! I waited in Fourth Year, I waited in Fifth Year, and I even waited in this year, but nothing has happened! For the first time, I’ve decided to move on with my life,  _ not _ wait for the boy who has continuously disappointed me for  _ years _ , don’t you dare tell me to  _ wait _ , Harry James Potter-”

“Okay, okay.” he said, with his hands up in surrender. “I understand. But...do you like Seamus?”

“We’re only going as friends. I don’t like him like that.”

“But he does.”

“What?”

“It’s so obvious, Hermione. The way he acts around you. He likes you.”

“Maybe you’re just over analyzing the-”

“I’m not. All I’m saying is...be careful. You might not see him that way, but he does. Just stay safe at the Ball. And if he does anything out of line-”

“I’ll let you know.” she said with a smile. “You know I will.”

Smiling at his best friend, he pulled her into a hug, hoping that in the end, everything would end up okay.

* * *

  
  


Tuesday had gone by as quickly as it came.

It felt as though time had ticked on the clock at double the speed now, as her childhood slowly slipped past her hands. As she became an adult. 

She hadn’t spoken to Ron the entire day. He was avoiding her. Just when they’d sorted out their problems…

Why did life have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t she go back to when her, Harry, and Ron had been closer than ever, always  _ together.  _ This year she’d felt as though a part of her was missing. And just when she’d got it back, she had lost it again.

She was ready to crash in her bed, wanting to get an entire night’s rest before waking up the next day. She needed sleep. 

Just as she was pulling back the curtain of her four poster bed, Ginny came crashing through the door.

“Hermione! I completely forgot! Have you decided what you’re wearing to the Ball tomorrow?”

“Not yet, Ginny. I’ll just decide tomorrow-”

“Absolutely not! You need to find something to wear. Show me what you have.”

“Does it have to be tonight? I’m quite knackered-”

“Of course! It’ll only take fifteen minutes.”

Sighing in defeat, she finally gave in, using her wand, she summoned all her dresses from her trunk, and laid them out in front of Ginny.

“I was thinking I would just wear my dress from the Yule Ball.”

“You looked gorgeous in that. You could wear it but...why don’t you wear this.” she said. picking out an emerald green dress from under all the others.

She held it up to take a better look at it, and her eyes immediately popped.

“Hermione! This is beautiful! Where did you get it?”

“It was a birthday present from my dad this year.”

“You  _ have  _ to wear it! Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” she said excitedly, jumping up to leave the room.

“Ginny!”

“Just wait!” 

Hermione picked up the dress, and ran her fingers through the silk material. She paused to admire the crystal belt, at the waistline, shining as bright as the moon. She held the dress in her hands, as she remembered the day it had been given to her.

_ “Hermione! Come down, I have something for you!” _

_ She raced downstairs, as soon as she had heard her father’s voice. She was leaving in two days, and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible, before she left. _

_ “Hermione!” _

_ “Coming!” _

_ As she walked into the sitting room, she found her dad seated on the sofa, evidently hiding something behind his back, with a foolish grin on his face. _

_ He’d always been terrible at giving surprises. _

_ “Come here, sweetheart.” _

_ She went and took a seat right beside her dad, with a grin of her own. She waited for this moment every year, when her father would call her over, clearly waiting to surprise her with something, always failing to keep the surprise a secret. _

_ “We know you’re going away in a couple of days, so we wanted to give you your birthday present early.” _

_ He pulled out a black gift bag, with  _ Tres Chic _ written on it in an elegant font. _

_ She took the bag, and pulled out an elegant green dress. It was beautiful. _

_ “It’s gorgeous Dad, I love it.” she said, pulling him into a hug. _

_ She felt a tear slip down her father’s cheek, as he began to speak softly. _

_ “When you’re gone, we miss you terribly dear. You’re our sunshine, our little gum drop. It’s so hard to be away from you for so long. We’re so proud of you, Hermione. We love you.” _

She allowed a tear to roll down her cheek, as she went over the memories attached to the dress she held. She missed her parents. It was hard staying apart from them for so long. 

“I’m back!”

Quickly brushing away her tears, she turned back to Ginny.

“I saw your dress, and I thought, I have something that would look fabulous with it.”

She slowly pulled a small red box from behind her back, and opened it up, to reveal two crystal studded earrings.

“They’re beautiful, Gin!”

“They’re my mother’s. They had belonged to my great grandmother before that. It’s the only piece of jewelry that I have.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I  _ want  _ you to wear them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m fucking sure. Please Hermione, wear them. They’ll look amazing on you.”

Taking a moment to admire the earrings, she finally found her voice.

“Okay, but only if you wear my necklace.”

“Of course I will!”

“Then deal.” she said, smiling.

She pulled Ginny into a hug, with the biggest grin on her face.

She was so grateful to have such great friends.

* * *

  
  


a/n: chapter 18! Wow, it hasn’t even been a month, and I’ve written more than 30k words! I’m surprising MYSELF at the pace I’m writing this. All thanks to the continued support from you guys.

I know, this chapter didn’t have much of Draco, but I hope this chapter allowed everyone to connect to Hermione more deeply, and get a perspective of what  _ she  _ has to go through, being a muggle born witch. But I promise, the next chapter will definitely have more Draco in it.

I just want to say thank you to all the people here from Facebook, I’ve suddenly been getting a lot more views after I joined those groups.

Lastly, review! They literally make my day. I get so excited when I get a notification for a new review. 

Stay safe and healthy, 

Sydney.


	19. Chapter 19

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Any character you may or may not recognize belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

Chapter 19: Finish

He woke up feeling exhausted. He’d stayed up incredibly late the previous night, working away in the Room of Requirement. He needed some rest. He needed to blow some steam. He needed sleep.

Climbing out of bed, he slipped his feet into his slippers, as he found Blaise opening the curtain of his bed.

“You came in late last night.” he exclaimed, with a yawn.

“I went to the Astronomy Tower.”

“To do what?”

“To...look at the mountains.”

Fuck.

“What?”

“I just needed to get some air.” he brushed off.

Blaise gave him a skeptical look, but changed the topic of their conversation.

“You know, I was thinking, you look good with Astoria.”

“What?”

“She’s pureblood. You’re expected to marry and produce an heir. You could very well end up marrying her.”

Draco took a deep breath in, not knowing how to reply. He looked at his friend, who seemed to be waiting for his answer.

“I think marriage is the last thing I need to be worried about. When time comes, mother will pick someone for me. As for now, there are other, more important things to be concerned about.”

* * *

  
  


She still hadn’t spoken to Ron.

As time passed, she felt like she was growing farther and farther apart from Ron. Just when she thought they’d be okay, everything was fucked up again. A part of her wondered whether she made a mistake in not waiting, but the more dominant part of her said she was absolutely right in the decision she took. She couldn’t spend her entire life  _ waiting  _ for Ron. She had to move on.

She waved goodbye to Harry, as she rose out of her seat to make a trip to the library. She needed to be apart from everything for a while, just before the Ball. She just needed a few hours to herself, just to escape to a completely different world, even if it was imaginary.

She was about to exit the Great Hall, but couldn’t help but stop to glance at the Slytherin table, where she immediately found the head of icy blonde hair she was searching for. She was close enough to hear him, but far enough to be camouflaged by the crowd of students. She saw him sitting with Astoria Greengrass, a pretty Fifth Year Slytherin. 

“You’re receiving me from the Great Hall?” she questioned.

“Yes.” He said, pointedly.

“Very well, I have to go now, I’ll see you tonight.”

She ran her hand along his back as she left, making sure to touch his bare skin, which was barely visible. 

He was going to the Ball with her.

She didn’t know why it hurt when she saw the Fifth Year so close to him, but it did. She certainly wasn’t jealous…

She realized that she was staring, and immediately began walking towards the exit. She  _ needed  _ to go to the library. Get lost in a book.

Pretend the world wasn’t unfair.

* * *

  
  


“Hermione!”

The red headed witch had practically jumped on her friend, as she walked through the entrance and into the Gryffindor common room. 

“Woah, what’s the rush, Gin?” Hermione said, as she was forcefully being pulled up by her friend.

“You’re late! We have to get ready!”

“But the Ball doesn’t start until two hours later-”

“Exactly! Come on, we don’t have much time!”

* * *

  
  


He pulled on his dress robes, as he stared at himself in the mirror. 

They had been slightly loose when he had purchased them, but they fit him perfectly now. He had a white collared shirt under his black robes, which went down right to his ankles. They were the finest robes in the world, purchased from a shop in wizarding Paris. His mother had bought them from him when she had taken a trip to France. He involuntarily smiled as he remembered how happy his mother had been when she’d shown him them.

_ “Draco! I’ve got you something!” _

_ He walked into her room, as he found her shuffling a bunch of bags, looking for something with a glint in her eyes. He made his way to her bed, and seated himself beside her. _

_ “Found it! I was shopping in Paris, when I saw this!” she said ecstatically, pulling out a pair of dress robes. “They made me think of you.” _

_ He took the dress robes in his hand, as he leaned in to hug his mother. _

_ “They’re great, mother. Thank you.” _

_ She smiled the biggest, warmest motherly smile at him, before proceeding to pull away, planting a kiss on his forehead. _

_ “We love you, Draco.” _

His world had been so simple when she’d given him his robes. It was just the three of them, him, his mother, and his father. 

Now, everything was complicated, and he felt like he was falling into a deep, bottomless hole. 

He ran his fingers through his platinum, blonde hair, before putting in the effort to put a bow tie around his neck. 

Taking one last look at himself, he finally set off, on his way to the Great Hall.

* * *

  
  


“Are you done?”

“Almost.”

She sat in her seat, waiting for her friend to finish up her hair. It was crazy to her how they took so much time in preparing themselves for something so small as a Ball, when there were so many other important things to deal with. Voldemort was getting stronger and stronger by the day, yet here she was, getting her hair done.

“Done.”

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned to her friend, giving her a smile.

“How do I look?”

“Hermione...you look breathtaking.”

She shook her head playfully, as she got up to walk to the mirror.

She took a deep breath as she saw her reflection, not being able to recognize the witch she saw.

She looked like herself, yet looked so different. She insisted on minimal makeup, so was only wearing a slightly pink tinted gloss. Her cheeks were graced with a natural red hue, while her hair was let down, with her coffee coloured curls cascading down past her shoulders. Her eyes twinkled, even more so than her beautiful crystal earrings. 

Her dress fit her body perfectly. It was modest, yet flaunted her curves in the right way. She ran her fingers along the lace sleeves, which stopped right at her elbows. The dress flowed down and stopped right above her ankles, where her silver heels could be seen. She paused to touch the crystal belt on her waist, which sparkled against the light.

“I…thanks Ginny.”

“No need to thank me. The beauty was always there, I just highlighted it a bit.”

She smiled, lighting up the entire room.

“You’re embarrassing me. Let’s head down to the Great Hall, Harry and Seamus must be waiting.”

* * *

  
  


He walked in to find Astoria already waiting for him, beside her sister, Daphne. She was wearing a black halter dress, which stopped midway along her thighs. She had her hair up in a messy bun, and was clutching a golden purse. 

“Shall we go?” questioned Blaise.

Nodding his head, they made their way to their respective dates, greeting both of them curtly. 

His date tried to grab his attention, but he constantly brushed her off. He kept glancing to the entrance, waiting for someone else to make an entry. He hadn’t found her, so assumed that she wasn’t there yet. He wondered who she would be coming with...

He saw Weasley with one of the Patil twins, but hadn’t seen Potter. He expected him to come with his girlfriend.

_ So who was  _ she  _ coming with… _

“Mate...” called his friend from beside him. “Look..” 

Time had seemed to stop as the doors had opened to let in three more people.

Everyone around them had dropped everything to look at  _ her.  _ It seemed like no one in the room was breathing, as if they were afraid it would ruin the moment. He heard Blaise suck in a sharp breath, as he too stared at the girl entering the hall.

“Who the fuck is-”

“Granger.” he breathed out.

He recognized her from her coffee curls alone. She walked in with Potter and the youngest Weasley, laughing, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. Her smile seemed to light up the entire room, and her eyes shined brighter than the most valuable diamonds. 

She looked beautiful.

Salazar, she really did.

Her emerald green dress swayed as she walked, as she ran her fingers through her hair. She seemed to be walking toward a crowd of Gryffindors, where she met... _ Finnigan _ ?

He greeted her with a hug, and she responded with a smile. He didn’t know why, but suddenly, he gripped his glass of pumpkin juice much more tightly. Not Weasley, but Finnigan?

Their eyes met for a second, and time seemed to freeze once more. 

That one second had felt like an eternity, and when she’d looked away, he wished it had lasted longer.

Mentally slapping himself, he turned back to  _ his  _ date, and tried his best to not look in Granger’s direction again.

* * *

  
  


“You look beautiful, Hermione.”

“Thank you, Seamus.”

She kept glancing back at him, unable to stop herself. She felt childish, but she couldn’t help but look. 

* * *

“Fuck this.”

“What?”

“I have to go.”

* * *

  
  


Just as she was about to turn back to Seamus, Draco stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving his date alone. 

“Hermione…” Seamus said, touching her arm.

Suddenly she felt nauseous. She needed to get out. She needed to go.

“I’m sorry...I have to leave. I’m sorry.”

* * *

  
  


He rushed out of the Great Hall, needing to get out of her presence. He couldn’t endure another minute of Finnigan brushing up against her.

As he was on his way to his dormitory, he suddenly heard footsteps in the empty hall. He turned around immediately, looking to see who it was.

Granger.

She was an arm’s length away.

“Granger.” he stated, calmly.

“I...I don’t know what I’m doing here.” she breathed out.

He took two steps towards her, and was now breathing the same air as her.

“I...I should go back-”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

And finally, he closed the distance between them, with a searing kiss.

He pushed her against the wall, as he latched onto her mouth, as though he would die if he pulled away. She responded almost immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck, and closing her eyes. 

They nipped, sucked, and tasted, with a raw desperation, both trying to get as close to each other as possible. He needed this. She needed this.

His mouth moved from her lips to her neck, biting down on a certain fleshy area, coaxing a moan from her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, as he moved back to her lips, when he heard her mumble.

“Need...a room.”

Pausing to kiss her one more time, afraid she would finally come back to her senses and run, he replied.

“Come with me.”

He took her hand in his as he guided them both upstairs. They both climbed as fast as they could, desperate to resume what they were previously doing. They finally reached the Seventh Floor, where Draco let Hermione’s hand go for just a second, until a door appeared.

He grabbed her again, latching back on to her lips, as he guided them both into the room.

Inside, they found a grand, king sized bed, right in the centre of a dimly lit room, with two sofas, and a coffee table. The room was accentuated with both green and red, representing both their houses. 

Draco shrugged off his robes, leaving him in his trousers and white shirt. He found Hermione fumbling with his bow tie, and he immediately helped her to pull it off.

He went back to her lips, wanting to feel a connection for as long as possible. Before they both came back to their senses.

She began to undo the buttons on his shirt, as he found the zipper on her dress. He shrugged off his shirt, revealing his toned body, a result of playing quidditch for years. She paused to admire him, before he attacked her mouth once more.

Hermione’s dress pooled at her feet, leaving her clad in her underwear and bra. He lifted her up, and she shakes her legs slightly to get rid of the dress. 

They were on the bed, kissing again, as Draco’s hands roamed up and down her body, as her hands rested on his chest. He quickly began to unbuckle his belt, wriggling out of his pants, leaving him only in his boxers. She could feel it right there, against her thighs.

Pulling her on top of him, he undid the clasp of her bra, and pulled off her panties, as he took a moment to admire her.

She was even better than he had imagined.

He noticed she had become slightly self conscious, and began to cover herself with her hands. He couldn’t let that happen. Not when he’d come that far.

Quickly, he pulled her back underneath him, and kissed her again, wiping away any seed of doubt she have had in her head.

He pulled down his boxers, and positioned himself right above her. He was  _ hard _ .

She saw it now, as it pressed up right against her abdomen. He used his hand to grab it, and position himself right at her entrance.

“Draco...wait.” she finally got out.

“What...you’re a virgin? I thought-”

“I’m not. I just haven’t...not for two years…”

_ Pressure…  _

He gave himself a moment to collect himself, and stare into her honey coloured eyes. She was giving him  _ so fucking much. _

“I’ll be gentle. I’ll hold your hand, squeeze it as hard as you need to if it hurts.”

He looked back into her eyes, as she nodded her head, and only saw one thing in her eyes.

Trust.

With one final look st her eyes, he finally entered her, and allowed her to completely engulf him.

She immediately squeezed his hand, as she closed her eyes. He dropped his head to her neck, as he slowly began to push in and out. 

“It’s okay…” he cooed.

Slowly, her grasp on his hand slackened, before she had completely let go of it. He began to thrust into her more roughly, as she let out a moan against his lips. 

He was thrusting now with a sense of urgency, and a need to reach the end. He hadn’t done this in  _ months _ , and he needed to reach the end.

She felt something building up behind her navel, as she heard him let out a growl. She’d never felt this way in her life, and she needed more. She rocked her hips to match his thrusts, making sure he went in as deep inside of her as he could. 

She bit down on his lip, as she was coming close to her finish. She saw beads of sweat form on his forehead, as they moved even faster.

Suddenly, she felt a bubble of pleasure finally burst, as she rolled her head back, her eyes hazy. Still living in the moment of her orgasm, she looked at him, close to his own finish.

He finally looked into her eyes, and with one last thrust, he spilled into her, as he hid his moan in the crook of her shoulder.

They simply laid on top of each other for a moment, before he finally pulled out. Reaching for his wand, he quickly muttered the contraception charm, and dropped down to lay beside her.

Everything was silent except for the thuds of their heartbeats and their breaths. They were silent for a few minutes, before Hermione finally spoke up.

“Draco…”

“Not now, Granger.” he muttered quietly from beside her.

Everything had been so perfect. It had gone so well. It would be a shame to ruin it all right then. 

“Okay.” she replied, as she allowed her eyes to shut, as sleep slowly took her.

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhhhhh! Finally got this chapter done. I have NEVER written a sex scene, so please let me off the hook if it’s not what you expected. 

It’s 5:39 am right now, and I’m OUT of coffee!!! I’ve been really excited about finishing this chapter, so I thought, why not. School still hasn’t opened, but will open in a week, so wish me luck. I have no clue how that shit’s gonna work, but I opted to learn virtually. Still have to attend in person for two days a week, but I guess that’s better than going for five.

My phone’s about to die, so I have to post this RIGHT NOW. Once again, pleaseeeeee review.

Love you guys, 

Sydney.

  
  
  



	20. Chapter 20

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 20: Empty

He rolled over, as he felt something soft under his cheek.

Hair.

Granger’s hair.

He had opened his eyes to find her sleeping beside him, as he slowly maneuvered himself out of her grip. 

Everyone knew that lingering in bed in the morning had signified something more than just a physical relationship. He couldn’t let that happen.

She was still deep in sleep, like an angel. Her coffee coloured curls were scattered all around the pillows, while her hand rested in the spot he had just been.

She looked so peaceful, and he wanted to give her those few extra moments of undisturbed rest. He didn’t know why, but he did. He knew she needed it as much as he did.

He looked over at the clock, and noticed it was five forty five in the morning. That had been the most sleep he had gotten in weeks. And this time, the nightmares hadn’t come.

* * *

  
  


She slowly roused awake, as she shifted around under the covers. It took her a moment to realize where she was, when it suddenly hit her. 

She was in the Room of Requirement.

Memories of the previous night suddenly flooded her mind, as she instinctively reached over to the other side of the bed. 

He wasn’t there.

She pulled herself up, and immediately found him seated on one of the sofas, fully clothed. He seemed to be in his own world, until he snapped back, and turned to her.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, as time seemed to pause, just for a moment. 

“You’re awake.” he stated, dully. 

She pulled herself out from under the sheets, wrapping the blankets around her to cover her body, as she moved to the edge of the bed. 

“Draco...do you regret what happened last night?” she asked timidly.

She heard him suck a sharp breath in, and saw him run his fingers through his hair, all while facing in the opposite direction from her.

“What happened last night shouldn’t have happened. You know this as well, Granger.”

She took in his words, frowning. She ran her fingers along the bedpost, as she traced the intricate patterns and designs.

“Why not?”

He finally turned to her, looking right into her eyes, with a look of sadness in his features.

“We can’t just pretend that this is normal. What  _ we  _ are doing is normal. What if I asked you Granger, do  _ you _ regret what happened last night?”

“Then I’d say I don’t.”

They had slipped past her mouth like it had been the easiest thing to say. She was being so fucking soft. Merlin, it was crushing him.

He looked up at her, and saw her look back at him, sighing.

“I don’t know if this isn’t clear, but I like you, Draco. I don’t regret doing what we did. And I think you don’t either.”

Her words were stabbing him like knives. Her genuinity was killing him.

“The world isn’t all tulips and daisies. It’s more complicated than that-”

“It’s only complicated if  _ we  _ make it complicated-”

“You don’t fucking get it! You don’t know how greatly this could affect me if anyone found out! Now, there’s no difference between me and Weasley. We’re both the same. Blood traitors.”

She stared at him blankly, with hurt and sorrow written all over her features. 

“So...it’s about blood.”

“Yes. It is.”

He could hear every breath she took, as she gripped the bedpost tightly, looking away from him.

“I thought you were better than that. I  _ know  _ you are better than that-”

“You don’t know shit! You think your little game has fucked with my head enough to make me  _ change  _ and all that sappy bullshit, but you’re wrong! I feel nothing but disgust for myself-”

“You should. You should feel disgusted. But not based on the fact that you had sex with me, but based on the fact that you’re being a coward! The fact that you  _ refuse  _ to acknowledge that you were in full control of all your actions!”

There it was again.  _ Coward. _

“ _ Don’t  _ call me a coward.”

“Then prove to me that you aren’t! Accept that you were in full control of your actions, and-”

“Okay! I fucking was! I clearly was desperate enough for a shag that I would stoop to lay my hands on-”

“On a Mudblood. You _know_ you don’t say it as often anymore. You _know_ you squirm when you say it.”

He looked at her, her eyes full of fire and her features full of emotion. She seemed like she could hex him right then.

“Get out. Just leave me alone. Don’t touch me again.”

Suddenly feeling guilty, he got up out of his seat, and leaned against the sofa.

“Granger…”

“Just leave me the  _ fuck _ alone.”

Breathing deeply, he decided it would be wise to heed to her words. He got up to leave, and just when he reached to open the door, he heard her speak up again.

“I just want you to treat me like I am a  _ person _ .” she sighed. “I want you to believe that I am the same as you. That we’re all the same. People.” 

* * *

After quickly sneaking into the common room, and into her dormitory, before anyone had awoken, she managed to change into her school uniform, before anyone had noticed that she wasn’t in her bed in the morning.

She made her way back down to the common room, to find Harry running to her, with a worried expression on his face.

“Hermione! Where were you last night! We asked Seamus but-”

“I know, I’m sorry for running off like that. I was just feeling...claustrophobic. I needed to get some air. I didn’t want to bother you after, so I came right back to my dormitory.”

She didn’t like lying to him. She never did. But she couldn’t tell him about Draco...not yet. Not when even  _ she  _ was in a mess with her feelings. 

“Okay...just let one of us know before you go off like that next time.”

Smiling to her friend, she leaned in to give him a quick hug, before the two of them began their walk to the Great Hall.

* * *

  
  


Finally joining his friend, he took his place on the Slytherin table, as he reached for a slice of toast.

“Draco! Where the fuck were you last night? I asked Astoria, but she said you just-”

“I needed some air. Balls are not my thing. I find them to be childish-”

“And you never came back?”

“I saw no reason to return.”

He took a moment to take in his friends words, before nodding his head slowly. He felt that he wasn’t being told the truth, but Draco often was like this. Vague and stiff.

Draco searched the room for a mane of brown hair, and immediately found it on the opposite side of the hall. It had almost become a routine for him. 

She was sitting with Potter, but seemed to be lost in her own world. She pushed around something on her plate, while her other hand played with a lock of her hair. She was nibbling on her bottom lip, her eyes dazed, as she stared at a spot in front of her.

Her words had still been playing in his head, no matter how hard he tried to push them away.

_ “I like you, Draco...” _

_ I thought you were better than that. I  _ know  _ you are better than that…” _

_ “I just want you to treat me like I am a person.” she sighed. “I want you to believe that I am the same as you. That we’re all the same. People...” _

Fucking hell.

It was so easy for her to let out her emotions. Say whatever she wanted, without a care in the world. Pretend she wasn’t speaking to the boy who had tormented her for  _ years.  _

He didn’t know if he cared about her blood anymore. He wanted to believe that he did, but somehow he knew he didn’t. He wouldn’t have done what he did last night if he didn’t have any doubts. 

He thought back to the day they’d been in the trophy room, when she’d showed him their bleeding hands. When she’d shown him that her blood was red too.

She proved him wrong  _ every fucking time.  _ She was right  _ every fucking time.  _ He wanted to believe he was right where he was, but she was fucking with his head.

His entire life,  _ she’d  _ always outperformed him. She’d always been number one, brightest witch of her age, while he had been behind her. She beat him in every exam, every test, every class... _ everything. _

Yet, she was supposed to be below him. She was supposed to be  _ beneath  _ him. 

Either he was completely right, or he really  _ was  _ the bigoted, brainwashed, idiot Granger had said he was.

He should’ve pushed her away the moment she’d come close, but he didn’t know why he didn’t. Why he  _ couldn’t.  _ Every time she touched him, he felt like in a completely different world, somewhere away from all the darkness of the world, somewhere better.

And now, he’d fucked up, so he doubted he would even get those touches. 

“Draco.”

“What?” He said, snapping out of his thoughts.

“We have to go, we’re getting late for Transfigurations.”

“Oh...okay.”

Collecting himself, he moved to get up, finally pulling his eyes away from Granger.

* * *

“Let’s go, Hermione, we have Transfigurations.”

“Coming Harry...you go, I’ll join you in a bit.” she replied, checking her bag to make sure she had everything she needed.

“Okay. I’ll see you there.”

After making sure she had her essay in her bag, she moved to get up, and was on her way to her first class. In a rush to leave the Great Hall, she bumped into someone, and she immediately extended an arm to steady the other person. 

“Luna.”

“Hello, Hermione.” she said, dazedly.

“How are you?”

“I’m well...I didn’t see you at the Hallowe’en Ball yesterday.”

“Oh...I left a bit early. I was quite knackered.”

“Harry and Ginny were quite worried...they didn’t know where you were.”

Taking a deep breath, Hermione nibbled on her lip, before she responded.

“That was my mistake, I left without telling them. I should’ve let them know before leaving.”

“You should have. It’s always good to keep your friends informed.” she said airily, before taking her leave and walking away.

Hermione felt like whatever the young Ravenclaw had said always had a double meaning to it, and it frustrated her beyond limits. 

Deciding not to dwell on the witch’s words, she continued her walk to the Transfigurations classroom, determined to not let anything else distract her.

* * *

  
  


The entire class, they kept sneaking glances at one another.

It was so hard to ignore him, to pretend that he didn’t exist, when he was  _ right there _ . She couldn’t forget last night, when she’d been in his arms…

She couldn’t take it. 

Too much fucking sexual tension.

Being so close to her made his fingers itch to touch her again, claim her once more…

But he couldn’t. 

She was so close, yet so far. It was bloody infuriating. 

Somehow, they’d made it out of class,  _ without  _ doing anything that would seem remotely suspicious to their friends.

* * *

  
  


She was on her way to Ancient Runes, just when she felt a hand grab her arm, pulling her away from the crowd. She quickly turned to see who it was, brushing her hair away from her face.

“Seamus.”

She’d gone stiff, and all of a sudden, her carried had been filled with guilt. She felt terrible about leaving him the night before, and she needed to apologize.

“Hermione…I-”

“I’m sorry, Seamus. I really am. I shouldn’t have left like that, I just…”

“It’s okay. I know. I know you felt bad about him. I was skeptical about asking you in the first place, I wasn’t sure if you-”

“Him?” she questioned, slightly confused, but her heart suddenly racing.

“Ron. I know you like him, I just wasn’t sure if you were serious about it. I should’ve known, I apologize.”

“Oh. Ron.” she sighed. “Yeah...I’m sorry I had to do that. I hope I didn’t ruin your night.”

“Oh, of course not! Padma was abandoned by Ron as well, and we had a great time together.”

Smiling, she looked up to her house mate, as she sighed deeply.

“Well, that’s good to hear.”

* * *

  
  


He pulled his curtains closed, as he laid in the centre of his four poster bed. He knew he wouldn’t get sleep that night. He knew they would come back. 

He hadn’t slept as well as he had last night in  _ months _ , and he somehow knew the primary reason for that had been being in Granger’s presence.

She somehow made everything better and worse at the same time, and it fucking pissed him off.

* * *

  
  


She made it through the entire day.

When she pulled her covers over her, she couldn’t help but reach over to the right side of the bed, and feel an emptiness she hadn’t felt before. She felt like something was missing. 

_ He  _ was missing.

* * *

  
  


a/n: chapter 21 is finally done! I think we all needed a breather chapter after everything that has been happening for the past few ones. I don’t want to rush into things, still want to make it as believeable as possible.

Okayyyy so school has just been pushed back to the 22nd, so now I have an extra week to get as much writing done before I get bombarded with essays and projects. Who am I kidding, I’ll still probably be up until 5am writing. You guys better thank me.

So, I just changed this fic to Black, White, and Everything In Between. I think the first name was one I made up really quickly, because I was really impatient to finally begin writing! I wasn’t completely happy with it, so after much thought, I finally decided to go for it and change it! The new name, in my opinion, represents my story much better, and is one that I personally am much happier with.

Cases are rising at an alarming rate. I really don’t understand how people can still refuse to wear a mask. My city’s mayor was furious today after hearing that strip clubs had opened, and how many new cases are linked to those clubs XD. This shit is crazy. Please guys, wear a mask, and continue to social distance. And definitely stay away from strip clubs, for now.

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.


	21. Chapter 21

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 21: Greys

She’d managed to make it through yet another day without seeking him out.

She didn’t glance over to the Slytherin table during mealtimes, and she didn’t turn to look at him during their classes.

She was growing too attached to him. She already  _ was  _ too attached to him. When she found him in the bathroom almost a month ago, she never expected to be in the situation she was in right now. She had simply wanted to help him, guide him...but now there was something more.

It shouldn’t have happened. She shouldn’t have allowed it. It would all end up hurting her in the end. And what hurt her the most of all was the fact that she had no idea how Draco felt.

He was the one who initiated all their encounters, even after how hard she tried to push him away. He was always the one to kiss her first. 

But after it was over, he was the one to push her away.

She  _ knew  _ he didn’t believe in all the bullshit he claimed to believe. She  _ knew  _ he had doubts from even before she had found him in the bathroom. She knew he wasn’t like that. He wasn’t like them. She knew.

She saw it in his eyes. She saw his wavering beliefs, and she saw him desperately trying to cling on to them. He was constantly in a war with himself, desperate to not admit defeat. 

She just needed to push him in the right direction. She needed to guide him onto the right path. Tug on the right strings, until they finally came undone.

But she didn’t know if she could do that anymore. She didn’t know if  _ she  _ could take it anymore. After what happened on the night of the Ball. She didn’t know.

It was crushing her. She couldn’t continue to interact with him if they would be that way. He was the first person she’d had sex with after Krum…

He had been so gentle. She still remembered how he touched her like she was glass. She still remembered him cooing into her ears, saying everything was okay. He remembered how slowly he went, until she finally released his hand. 

She knew continuing to try to help him would cause her to grow even more attached. She knew it would hurt her even more.

But she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t leave him to suffer. She couldn’t let him get hurt.

Because she cared.

* * *

  
  


He couldn’t fucking take it.

She hadn’t looked at him the entire day. Hadn’t even glanced at him once, no matter how many times  _ he  _ looked.

It was pissing him off. 

He needed  _ something _ . A small gesture of recognition. A look from her honey coloured eyes. A smile. A touch.

_ A kiss… _

She’d somehow become a necessity, and he didn’t know how it had happened.

He knew he shouldn’t have pushed her away like that the other morning. He shouldn’t have said those things to her. He shouldn’t have made her feel like shit. Not after everything she’d given him.

It was only her second time, after almost two years. She was in pain at first, and he made sure to be as gentle as possible. She was giving him so fucking much, and he didn’t know the fuck why.

He remembered her confession as clear as crystal, as he replayed it in his head for the hundredth time.

_ “I don’t know if this isn’t clear, but I like you, Draco. I don’t regret doing what we did. And I think you don’t either.” _

She had said it like it had been the easiest thing to ever say. She acted like it wasn’t him she was speaking to, she acted like she was speaking to someone...good.

He was the villain. The death eater. Lucius Malfoy’s son. She was Gryffindor’s golden girl, the brightest witch of her age, Harry Potter’s best friend. He was part of the dark, while she fought for the light.

He didn’t know  _ what  _ he felt for her. He didn’t know what the _ fuck  _ to do, or what the _ fuck  _ to believe. She sometimes said these little things that would stay on his mind for days, no matter how hard he tried to push her away.

One thing he learned was that pushing her away would only bring her closer.

Granger was becoming a problem. Had already  _ become  _ a problem. A problem he didn’t know how to fix.

* * *

She slowly walked down to the common room, determined to go through her day as quickly as possible. The events of the Ball were still fresh in her mind, and she needed time alone. 

Entering the common room, she found Harry, who was pacing, with a concerned look on his features. Finding her, he immediately rushed to her side, pulling her to a more secluded corner of the room, which would give them more privacy.

“Hermione,” he began, “I was waiting for you. I needed to speak to you.”

She’d been anticipating it since yesterday, and had been fully prepared for this conversation. 

“Yes, Harry?”

“I want to speak about you and Ron.”

She expected something like this. Either about the Ball, or Ron. Maybe even both.

“Yes?”

“Well...I’ve been paying attention to how you’ve been interacting with Ron these past few days.”

“And?”

“And you seem...stiff. And then you didn’t go to the Ball with him, which I don’t blame you for, but it came to me as a complete shock. And...you’ve been distant these past few days.”

She pursed her lips, taking in a deep breath, as she simply stared back at her best friend. Taking her silence as a sign to continue, he resumed speaking.

“Hermione, be completely honest with me. If there someone else?”

She thought she had prepared herself for it, but she really didn’t know how to respond. Even  _ she  _ didn’t know the answer to that question.

_ Was  _ there someone else?

Images of her and Draco flashed in her mind. Them in the pumpkin patch. Them in the Halls. Them in the classroom. Them in the Room of Requirement. She  _ couldn’t _ just pretend all that had never happened.

“Yes. There is someone else.”

Confessing the truth to Harry made her feel much better. It lifted a weight off her shoulder, and made her feel less terrible. 

“Who?”

She paused for a moment, before turning back to respond.

“I’m sorry Harry, I can’t tell you now. I want to, but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I...this is not the right time. One day, I’ll tell you. I promise. But not right now.”

He deserved her complete honesty, and nothing else. She would tell him about Draco one day, regardless of if anything else happened between them. She would tell him one day, but not right then.

“What’s he like?”

She took a moment to nibble on her lip, contemplating her answer. Closing her eyes, she ran her fingers through her hair, as she finally spoke.

“He’s...beautiful. He’s not like everyone else, he’s different. He’s stoic and reserved, but sometimes he lets down his walls, and that’s when you see glimpses of a completely different person. He never wants to show others how he truly feels, but when he does, he does it involuntarily, and that’s when you see who he truly is. Who he could be.”

She looked up to see if Harry was still listening, and when she saw that his eyes were still on her, she continued.

“It’s these...flashes of...of who he truly is, that attract me to him. He’s beautiful, in a cruel, punishing way.”

She turned back to Harry, who seemed to be deep into his own thoughts. He took a few moments to take in everything she had just said, breathingly deeply. Realizing Hermione was waiting for a reply, he snapped out of his trance.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“It’s okay if you can’t tell me now, but I do expect an answer later. And Hermione...whatever you do, don’t end up hurting yourself.”

Smiling up at her friend, she leaned in to give him a hug, to which he responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For understanding.”

She wasn’t sure if she  _ herself _ understood it, but was grateful to have Harry’s support. Grateful to have a friend like him in her life.

“Don’t tell Ron about this yet.” he said, retracting slightly.

“But-”

“No. He’ll be crushed. Like you said, now is not the right time. When time comes...we’ll tell him. But not now.”

“I...okay.” she reluctantly replied.

_ So many fucking secrets. _

“We’ll tell him, Hermione, but now is not the right time. Just...be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt again. If you think you like this bloke…I’m okay with it. Just...be careful.”

“I will.” she replied, pulling away, giving him a smile.

“Hermione.” he called. “Just...one last thing. Does he feel the same way about you?”

She closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around herself, taking a deep breath in.

“I have no idea.”

* * *

He made his way to McGonagall’s office, as he made his way through the crowd. He didn’t know  _ how _ he would pull through the detention. He didn’t know if he could stand being in her presence for so long without folding.

He turned the corner, and noticed a pair of footsteps behind him. He craned his head slightly to see who it was, and immediately found a mane of curly brown hair.

_ Her. _

He immediately began walking faster, desperate to put some distance between them. 

He finally arrived at the Deputy Headmistress’s door, and quickly turned the doorknob and slipped in, only pausing for a second to make sure the door didn’t close on Granger’s face.

“Good evening, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger.” said the elderly witch, nodding to her students. “I’m sure the both of you are aware that this is your last detention together. After this, you are free on your Saturday and Sunday nights.”

_ It was their last detention. _

Two months had gone by, just like that, and he hadn’t even realized it. He was beginning to see his detentions as an escape, but now, he wouldn’t even have  _ them _ to turn to. And Granger would slowly slip away.

“I was told that the broom shed is quite disorganized, so I will ask the two of you to go down and work on that. Madame Hooch will be down there to supervise you. Once you are done, you may come back to my office to collect your wands, and then you are free to go. Understood?”

“Yes Professor.”

* * *

They got down to the quidditch field, where Madame Hooch greeted them. She went off to sit in the stands, as she directed Draco and Hermione to the broom shed.

The room really was a mess.

The brooms were scattered around everywhere, with almost no place to walk. The closets were all open, with brooms pouring out of them. Some broken pieces of wood were scattered around the ground, while every surface was coated with a layer of dust.

Both of them got to work, sorting the brooms out first, putting them in the correct spots.

“You don’t complain anymore.” spoke up Hermione, finally breaking the silence.

“What?”

“You don’t complain about doing it the muggle way.”

He paused for a moment, to wipe off the bead of sweat that was forming on his temple.

“It’s such a mundane task. Anyone should be capable of doing it without magic.”

“So you admit doing things the muggle way isn’t  _ degrading _ ?”

They both knew what she was referring to. He remembered back to their first detention, back in the hospital wing.

_ “I’ve never degraded myself to do things like a muggle.” He spat. _

_ “It’s sad,” she whispered, this time not with hatred, but almost with...sadness, “it’s sad you think doing things the muggle way is degrading. It’s sad you still think that you’re better than others just because of your blood. It’s sad that you refuse to do such a mundane task as cleaning out bedpans, just because you have to do it the muggle way. It’s sad, Malfoy.” _

Things had been so different back then. Back when they had still hated each other. Before anything had happened between them.

Before she found him sobbing in the bathroom. Before she yelled at him in the trophy room. Before he had apologized to her in the pumpkin patch, and then kissed her. Before the waking up in the Room of Requirement together. Before everything.

She smiled to herself, seeing how much he’d changed in these two months. He’d come such a long way, and she was confident she could continue to push him in the right direction.

“You haven’t answered my question.” she stated.

“I see nothing degrading about doing something so simple as reorganizing broomsticks without magic.”

His comment made her smile the widest smile she’d smiled in  _ months _ . He was changing. Faster than he cared to admit. 

His beliefs were changing. His ideologies were changing. He was beginning to doubt everything he had been raised to believe, and was beginning to make his  _ own  _ decisions. 

It only made her smile more.

It hadn’t taken them long to reorganize every broom in the shed. Everything was in its place, and the room was tidy. 

And it had been done by Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.  _ Without  _ magic.

They found themselves in the centre of the room, only inches away from one another. They looked into each other’s eyes, Draco drowning in Hermione’s chocolate coloured orbs. Without realizing what she was doing, Hermione began to speak.

“Your eyes,” she began, softly, “They’re grey. Just like you.”

She took a moment to breathe, as she took in his minty scent, now just centimetres apart from him.

“The world isn’t black and white. There are so many shades of grey, Draco. Grey represents all of us...we are all a different shade, each beautiful and unique in their own way. We think that everything is simple and set: everything has to be one of the two. We stigmatize and stereotype people based on these assumptions, and sometimes grow to believe things that seem so irrational. But the world isn’t like that. Between black and white, there are thousands of shades of grey.”

He took in everything she said, clinging to each and every one of her words. They were so close…

They stared into each other’s eyes, both full of raw emotion, neither even attempting to put up a mask.

Draco slowly began to lower his head, rapidly closing the distance between them.

“No.” breathed Hermione, putting her hands on his chest to push him away.

He stared at her, grounded to his spot, and only found sadness in her features.

“No.” she repeated. “We both know how that will end. I can’t do that to myself. Not again.”

She’d said it so quietly, it had barely been a whisper. 

But he’d heard each and every word.

* * *

a/n: finally done chapter 21! Took me a bit longer to post this one, I’ve been super distracted with reddit! r/nba was having a field day, and I certainly couldn’t miss out on all the Clippers hate! 

Hope you guys liked the chapter, I had a great time writing it. 

Did anyone else see Tom Felton’s Hermione to Hawaii Tik Tok?? It was so cute! I really don’t know what he’s trying to say posting that typa shit, I mean c'mon, you have to be together if you’re posting  _ that. _

I just want to thank  **frekles** for always making the time to leave a review on every chapter. They mean so much to me. You’re the best.

Once again, please, please, pleaseeeeee, review. They really motivate me to write, and they never fail to bring a smile to my face.

Love you guys,

Sydney.

  
  
  
  



	22. Chapter 22

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: You must be getting bored of this, but just to avoid any possible trouble, I want to make it clear that I own nothing. All the characters in my story belong to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  
  


Chapter 22: Pride

_ “Your eyes...they’re grey. Just like you.” _

He couldn’t think about anything else for the next two days, other than their detention in the broom shed. He couldn’t forget the emotion in her features when she spoke, and the sadness in her eyes when she pushed him away. He couldn’t forget what she had said. No matter how hard he tried.

_ “The world isn’t black and white. There are so many shades of grey, Draco.” _

Her riddles were fucking with his head. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to feel. 

He had convinced himself that he wouldn’t do it again, but he couldn’t stop himself. Her words had more of an impact on him than he cared to admit.  _ She  _ had more of an impact on him than he cared to admit.

He had never expected her to push him away, not after everything that had happened between them. 

But he should’ve known better than to predict what Granger would have done.

_ “No. We both know how that will end. I can’t do that to myself. Not again.” _

How would it have ended? She’d end up feeling hurt and used, and he’d end up feeling conflicted and angry. Angry because this shouldn’t have been happening. He wasn’t supposed to have shagged Granger. 

He shouldn’t have tried to kiss her again. It would’ve been the rational thing to do. Their detentions had ended, and he wouldn’t have to see her again every weekend. 

He was going insane. It had been two days since their last detention, and he hadn’t spoken to her since. He was supposed to have finally pulled away from her. Left her behind. Closed that chapter.

But he couldn’t.

She’d already gotten in too deep.

His fingers itched to touch her again. Be close to her. He needed her presence. He’d become used to it, and now it was gone. It had only been two days, but he was becoming restless.

She had somehow become his escape. His escape from the cruel, dark world. For him,  _ she _ was his mountains. 

He yearned to just hear her  _ speak  _ again. He needed to hear her say something. He needed to see the fire in her eyes when she yelled at him, or the softness in her features when she tried to make him feel better about himself, or her smile, which lit up the entire room.

He needed  _ her. _

And he didn’t give a fuck about anything else.

* * *

She sat on her bed, with the curtains pulled all the way around, shielding her from the light from outside. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, as she wrapped the blanket around herself even more tightly. 

She was a mess. 

She didn’t know what was happening, and she didn’t know what to do. Her relationship with Draco had become...complicated. She didn’t have a clue of how strong her affections were for him, and hadn’t an idea of what  _ he  _ felt for her.

Having sex with him had changed everything. Nothing could go back to how it was before. That night had changed everything, yet nothing. And it confused her so fucking much.

Closing her eyes, she laid in the silence of the night, awaiting for sleep to finally take her.

* * *

  
  


“Are you going to fucking tell me what’s been going on? You seem so out of it. It’s getting bloody irritating.”

He snapped out of his thoughts, turning to his friend.

“I…”

“Bloody hell Draco, you always seem to be in your own world. I have to repeat something at least three times before you’ll pay attention.”

“Sorry...I just…”

“Fucking fine, you don’t have to come up with an answer. But remember Draco...sometimes it’s okay to tell others about what’s going on.”

Granger had said something exactly like that. 

_ It’s okay to confide in others, if it makes you feel better, _

The moment he’d thought of her, she walked in. He saw her enter the Great Hall with Potter, seemingly distant, her eyes drifting off to other places as Potter rambled on about something.

He hadn’t seen Weasley with her for a while. 

Good.

He didn’t know why it made him feel better, but it did.

“Draco, would you pass me the sausage?”

“Oh...yeah. Here.”

Looking up at the clock, he decided that he would use his free period to work on his task. Time was ticking away, and he had accomplished nothing. Taking his leave, he rose from his seat, and was on his way to the Room of Requirement.

* * *

  
  


She spooned some eggs onto her plate, as she saw a large, majestic owl swoop down, moving directly towards her. It dropped an envelope right on her lap, and soared away, flapping its brown coloured wings.

She looked down at the envelope, and immediately smiled after seeing who it was from.

_ From Mum and Dad. _

She waited for this letter every week. It was hard for her to be away from her parents for so long, and she knew it was just as hard for them, if not more. Quickly opening the envelope, she took out the letter inside and began to read its contents.

_ Dear Hermione, _

_ How are you, dear? We couldn’t write last week, your father sprained his ankle trying to wash the car. Tripped on the hose. Nothing to worry about, he’s okay now. I still laugh about it. I mean, how does one have the talent to sprain their ankle by tripping on a hose? _

_ Never mind that, how are things at school? We hope you’re doing well with your studies, as always. Christmas is coming up soon, so we were wondering if you would be coming home to us? It’s been so long, your father and I really want to spend this Christmas together, with all three of us. Write back to let us know what you intend on doing. _

_ Your aunt just got married last week, for the fifth time. That wedding was truly one to remember. It’ll be interesting to see how long this one lasts, I have a bet going on with your father! _

_ We miss you greatly, sweetheart. It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. Stay focused on your schoolwork, and continue to make us proud. Do let us know what you plan on doing for Christmas as soon as possible, and send our love to Harry and Ron. _

_ We love you, _

_ Mum and Dad. _

She traced her fingers over the writing, as she smiled to herself. These letters were everything to her. One of the hardest parts of being a witch was being away from her parents for ten months. She missed them dearly, but was thankful she had her friends with her at school, who made sure she never felt alone.

She decided she would go home for Christmas, and spend it with her parents. She knew they felt alone, and she needed to be there with them. 

Tucking away the letter, she got up to go to her first class, deciding her reply would have to wait until all her classes had finished.

* * *

  
  


“Ah, Mister Zabini, very well done! How is your mother doing?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to her in years.”

“Haha, what a lovely sense of humour you have! Send my greetings to her the next time you do speak to her.” the Professor said with a grin.

Waving goodbye to Zabini, he moved along the rows, stopping next at Cormac McLaggen.

Draco stirred his potion, as he watched Slughorns move from McLaggen to Potter, and then finally Granger.

They’d had three classes together that day, but she hadn’t glanced at him a single time. It was driving him crazy. 

“Perfect Miss Granger, perfect! No wonder they call you the brightest witch of your age!”

He saw her give him a warm smile, as she continued to stir her potion. 

Her hair was even messier than usual, as she wiped off a bead of sweat forming on her forehead using the back of her hand. She nibbled on her lip, as her eyes were fixed in concentration. She constantly pushed back the stubborn loose strand of hair that kept falling down to her face, as she furrowed her brow slightly.

He noticed every fucking detail.

And she refused to even glance at him.

He turned back to his potion, and realized that he needed some wormwood, so he rose to go to the supplies cupboard. 

He opened the cupboard to find many little bags, each labeled and sorted alphabetically.  _ He  _ had sorted them alphabetically. Him and Granger.

Finding the wormwood, he turned to head back, when he was met with Granger and Potter, standing right behind him.

He took a moment to look at Granger, who looked straight ahead at the cupboard, not even glancing at him once, despite being so close.

“Move out of the way Malfoy, you’re wasting our time.” said Potter.

Granger still remained silent.

He quietly moved aside, as he watched them reach for their own supplies, Granger pointing at certain bags with a look of curiosity on her face.

She was determined on being indifferent. And it was his fault.

_ He shouldn’t have made the blood traitor comment… _

Couldn’t she understand how hard it was for  _ him _ ? Couldn’t she understand what  _ he  _ was going through? Couldn’t she understand how much she was fucking with his head?

He couldn’t get her out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. 

That was it. He needed to do something, or else he would go insane.

* * *

She had managed to pull through yet another class, even if it had been hard.

She felt his eyes on her. She didn’t have to look to figure that out.

Couldn’t he understand that they couldn’t do this? That she was already in too deep? That she couldn’t handle getting hurt like that,  _ again _ ?

She said goodbye to Harry, as she made her way to the library. She needed some time alone. Some time to simply  _ think  _ about what had been happening in her life these past couple of days.

She entered the library, and slowly made her way to her secluded corner at the back, where people seldom went. It was  _ her  _ spot. She’d always sat in that spot since her first year. It gave her peace, and secrecy.

Just as she pulled out a book from her bag, she heard a voice call from behind her.

“Granger.”

_ Draco. _

She turned around to find him standing a few steps behind her, his chest slowly moving up and down, as his arms rested at his sides.

“Listen, Granger-”

“I have nothing to listen to. You made it perfectly clear to me that morning-”

“Granger I-”

“-how you felt. I can’t do this. I can’t-”

“Please.” he begged. “I...just...come back to me Granger.” he let out, accepting defeat. “Please.”

She paused to stare at him for a moment, before taking in a deep breath.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He knew she would make him say it. He knew she wouldn’t come easily. She was Hermione Granger, after all.

Letting go of the final few shreds of his pride, Draco finally spoke.

“I…I need you Granger. Come back. I need you.”

* * *

a/n: and that’s chapter 22! I hope you guys liked it. School starts on Tuesday, so that’s crazy! 

I finally got back to my art, and have been practising my realism again after a LONG break. I’m not  _ completely _ trash, so I’m happy.

Ahhhhh! We just hit 75 reviews, that’s crazy! I’m so thankful to everyone reading this, it really makes my day to see so many people reading MY story. I don’t consider myself a spectacular writer, so thank you guys for motivating me to continue writing, and get chapters up as quickly as possible. You guys are the best.

Sooooo, as you guys have been doing, keep leaving reviews! They’re the best thing ever.

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	23. Chapter 23

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 23: Visions

She woke up, feeling well rested. She turned around, yawning quietly as she did so. Fully opening her eyes, she smiled at what was in front of her.

_ He had stayed. _

He hadn’t left her alone, and he hadn’t run away. He had stayed with her in bed.

Last night was clear in her head, as she replayed it over and over again. 

_ “I…I need you Granger. Come back. I need you.” _

He had been so soft, and so sincere, it had broken her. She had been trying her best to not fall back in the hole she had dug, but Draco made it impossible to stay away. 

It had been the first time  _ she  _ had kissed him.

_ And then after… _

_ “Wrap your legs around my waist...” _

_ “Hold on to me...” _

_ “Don’t let go...” _

She reopened her eyes, watching him as he slept. She watched his chest rise and fall, with his arm slung lazily around her bare waist. 

Merlin, he was beautiful.

His icy blonde hair framed his face as he slept, messed up in a way that made her want to run her hands through it. She gently grazed her hands over his porcelain skin, as pale as the moon. 

“Do you have a habit of watching people sleep, Granger?”

She quickly retracted her hand in surprise, not aware that he had been awake. She saw his eyelids slowly flutter open, to reveal his mysterious grey pupils, which stared directly at her brown ones.

“Sorry...did I wake you?”

“I’ve been awake for quite a while.”

She watched as he shifted over, now laying on his back, and staring at the ceiling.

“You stayed.”

He turned his head to glance at her, before turning back, and sighing deeply.

“There’s no point in leaving anymore.”

They laid together in silence, relaxing for just a few more prolonged minutes, before both of them had to go back to their cruel, hectic lives.

“Do you love Weasley?”

“What?”

“Listen, Granger-”

“Draco, if I did, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

His mouth closed with an audible clap. He took a few more moments of silence, before speaking once again.

“Did you ever love him?”

She took a deep breath, and pursed her lips, before finally answering.

“No. I thought I did, but I didn’t. It was just a crush...nothing more. I thought I loved him for years...but staying apart from him showed me that what I felt for him wasn’t love. Love is such a strong emotion...if you love someone, you could die for them. I thought about Ron and...I realized that I  _ do  _ love him. I  _ would  _ die for him. But not in the way I thought I did. I love him as my best friend. I would die for him, because he is my best friend. That is when I realized that Ronald and I are just that. Best friends. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“What about Krum?”

“Victor was sweet...but I think even then the feelings were more one sided. I was still caught up in my feelings for Ron...I guess I never gave him a proper chance.”

After a few more moments, Draco moved to get up, reaching for his discarded clothes. 

“Draco...do you think we should talk about...about us?”

He paused in his movement, and rested his arms on his knees. Slowly turning to face her, he replied.

“No. Just...let it be.”

“...okay. But we have to talk about this sooner or later.”

“Granger I-”

“Draco I want to make one thing clear. I don’t just have sex with people for no reason. If I do...it means something.  _ You  _ mean something to me. I can’t continue this if this means nothing to you. Tell me if it doesn’t and I won’t come near you again. Just...be honest with me, Draco.”

He turned away from her, facing towards the fireplace, the flames dancing within, daunting him to answer.

“How can I be honest with you...when I don’t know myself?”

It had been barely a whisper, but it had been loud enough for her to hear.

“What don’t you know, Draco?”

“This isn’t fucking simple! I’m not supposed to be doing this, not with you! But you came and fucked with my head-”

“I didn’t do anything Draco! You came to your own conclusions. I didn’t force you to believe anything.  _ You  _ are the one who changed.”

“Bullshit-”

“You did, Draco. I can see it in you. You’re better than who you were before.”

He grabbed fistfuls of his hair, breathing in deeply, before finally facing her.

“It isn’t as easy as that...how do you feel, Granger? Shagging a death eater? Kissing Lucius Malfoy’s son?”

“You’re not a death eater, Draco. You’re not like them. Being his son doesn’t make you one of  _ them. _ ”

She moved to sit up, covering her chest with the covers. Reaching over, she pulled his left hand to her, baring his Dark Mark for the both of them to see. He tried to pull away, but she kept a firm grip.

She ran her fingers over the skull, treating his skin like glass. She turned her head up to look into his eyes, her fingers still on his forearm.

“This...this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a mark...what matters is what you are on the inside. Marks on our skin don’t define who we are.”

He watched as her fingers traced the snake on his forearm, her eyes not leaving the mark for even a second. His skin buzzed under her touch, as he watched a strand of her curly brown hair fall on her face.

He slowly pushed her arm away, and used his fingers to reach up to tuck the loose curl behind her ear, which caused her to look back up, and stare right into his grey orbs.

“It doesn’t have to be like this Draco...just tell me what’s wrong...and I can help you.”

Salazar, he wished he could. But that wasn’t an option for him.

“You know I can’t do that, Granger.”

She reached up to cup his face with her hands, and gently brushed her thumbs across his cheekbones.

“You don’t have to tell me anything right now...but I’m here Draco. You’re not alone. I’m here for you”

And then she leaned in to give him a small kiss, sealing her promise.

* * *

He was alone once more.

No matter how hard he tried to distance himself from her, she ended up coming closer. 

He told himself it was nothing. That it would all be over soon. She’d be gone from his life, and she’d go back to Weasley.

The thought should have calmed him, but instead, it did the opposite.

He simply couldn’t get rid of Granger, even if he wanted to. She’d become a necessity. 

  
  


His left forearm still buzzed from the remains of her touch, gentle, and calming. 

_ “This...this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a mark...what matters is what you are on the inside. Marks on our skin don’t define who we are.” _

He wanted to scream until he was hoarse. Let out all the emotion from his body. Doing what he did with Granger should’ve felt wrong, but it didn’t. It felt right, and that’s why he did it. 

She’d fucked with his head too much to go back to how it was before.

As he was making his way to the Great Hall, he heard a voice calling him from behind.

“Oi! Draco!”

He turned around to find Blaise running to him, barely visible in the crowd. Finally, he caught up, but was a bit breathless.

“Where the fuck were you last night?”

“I came in late. And then I left early in the morning to get some work done.”

“Listen, mate, you don’t have to lie to me. I know you didn’t come back. I don’t know why you’re hiding anything from me, but you really don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not-”

“Don’t even try that bullshit with me. Draco, I’m your mate, and I understand. It’s okay if you don’t tell me. Just don’t lie.”

Choosing not to reply, Draco merely kept his head down, as he proceeded to take a seat at the Slytherin Table. 

He wanted to tell Blaise. He really did. It was right on the tip of his tongue, but it never came out. It couldn’t come out. He couldn’t afford to let that happen.

* * *

  
  


“Hermione! I was looking for you. I have to tell you something. We have to find Ron first.”

“What’s wrong, Harry?”

“I’ll tell you, but we have to find Ron.”

She searched the Hall, her eyes momentarily pausing on Draco, before she resumed her search for her other best friend. Whatever Harry had wanted to tell her was clearly important.

Within moments, she found the mop of red hair she was looking for, peeking out of a crowd on the other side of the Hall.

“He’s over there. Come, Harry.”

They rushed over, Harry pulling Ron into their huddle immediately.

“We need to go somewhere where there’s less people.” said Harry, with a sense of urgency.

“Hallway. Let’s go.”

* * *

  
  


He scanned the Hall, as usual, and almost immediately found who he was looking for. 

She was with Potter, and they seemed to be looking for something. He saw them move through the crowd together, until they got to...Weasley.

The golden trio. Together once more.

They spoke with their heads together, and quickly left the Great Hall. 

_ What could they be discussing… _

“Blaise, I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

Not even waiting for an answer, he ran off in pursuit.

* * *

“You saw him do what?”

“I saw his memories! He killed Bertha Jorkins!”

“Are you absolutely sure?” questioned Ron.

“Yes I’m fucking sure! Voldemort killed Bertha Jorkins! He said something about getting valuable information from her, and then killing her because she was of no more use.”

“Holyshit.”

“Harry, these visions are getting clearer and clearer. You need to talk about this with Dumbledore!”

“Hermione, these visions are helping us! I would’ve never known about Bertha if I hadn’t had this connection-”

“Dumbledore said you have shut him out! He told you to practise Occlumency! You’re not taking this seriously enough.”

“Ron, you can’t also agree with her, these visions are letting me see into his mind!”

“I don’t know...Dumbledore did say to close the connection…”

“And you  _ will _ follow his instructions! Dumbledore knows what he’s doing Harry.”

“He doesn’t seem to want to tell me anything-”

“Harry why don’t you understand? This could be dangerous! Tell Professor Dumbledore.”

He turned to his other friend, and when he got a shrug, he finally gave in.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell Professor Dumbledore. I just...my scar keeps hurting and the visions are as clear as motion pictures.”

“Motion pictures? What the fuck are-”

“Oh, don’t worry about what now!” Hermione interjected. “Just make sure you tell Professor Dumbledore. This is serious, Harry.”

* * *

  
  


_ Potter could see into the Dark Lord’s mind... _

* * *

  
  


a/n: I know, super short chapter, but I thought I might as well get it up. I promise the next few will be longer.

First day of online uni, complete! It was better than I expected, but worse than I had anticipated. I’m so busy with so many things, I’ll be applying to medical school in a couple of years! Wish me luck!

It’s 2:03 am, and I have a 9 o’clock class in the morning, so I have to go, but happy reading!

Also, remember to review, I love em.

Love you guys, 

Sydney.

  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 24: Expectations

She ran to the library right away, desperate to find a book that could help her. She tried it before, to no avail, but she wouldn’t give up. Harry’s visions were getting clearer and clearer by the day, and she could tell that this was a bad thing.

Dumbledore had told him to close his mind. But he didn’t. Instead, the visions were getting clearer.

She had so much on her mind already, especially after last night with Draco…

But she didn’t have time to think about him right then. She had her priorities. She needed to focus on what she had been focusing on before. Before  _ he  _ came into her life. 

She had to push Draco aside. She needed to find a solution to Harry’s visions.

* * *

  
  


He watched as she poured herself into a pile of books, all spread around the entire length of the table she was sitting at. Her hair fell down across her face, as she repeatedly pushed it back behind her ears, and bit her lip.

He was sure she was reading up on something related to Potter’s mind connection with the Dark Lord. Everything seemed to be getting more and more fucked up as time went on.

This was all insane...what he was doing was insane, what he was going to do was insane. He didn’t know what he would do with his newfound information on Potter…

He’d just keep it to himself. Pretend he never knew. He wouldn’t tell anyone. 

Telling people would fuck things up even more, and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

Realizing he that time was slipping past him, he slowly exited the library, without anyone seeing him. 

He had priorities.

Priorities, priorities, priorities.

* * *

  
  


She had been constantly working for more than a week, with no breaks. She didn’t have time for breaks. 

Assignments, essays, helping Harry and Ron with  _ their _ essays, and researching about Harry’s visions. They took up all her time. 

She hadn’t spoken to Draco since the last morning they had woken up together, which had been almost a week ago. She...missed him. 

She didn’t know why she did, but she missed him. Having him around made her feel...secure. It allowed her to drift away from the rest of her world and simply pretend everything was okay, and what they were doing was normal.

She had no idea how long her dynamic with Draco would last, or what it really was. She liked him. She really did. But she didn’t know if he felt the same way.

His actions showed something, while his words said something else. She should have gone with what was being said to her straight up. She should have ended it before. But for some strange reason, he kept pulling her in.

He kept her curious, wanting more. He made her feel nervous, and he made her feel anxious, and he made her feel things she had never experienced. 

She was a mess.

Her thoughts were all over the place. It was the middle of November, and she could sense something terrible coming. And it wasn’t far away.

No matter how hard she tried to convince Harry to close his mind, it did not work. The visions were simply too strong for him to overpower.

As she worked, she heard a shuffling sound behind her. She slowly craned her neck, before finding the source of the sound.

Ron.

They’d fixed their issues since the Hallowe’en Ball. Somewhat.

After Harry’s visions began to get worse, the both of them somehow slowly came back together by themselves. They didn’t acknowledge what happened during the Ball, and simply preferred to pretend it didn’t happen. She was grateful to have him back, but somehow felt that there was still an invisible strain between them. They spent most of their time around one another, yet seemed to be in their own little worlds when they were. She still hadn’t gotten her best friend back. 

“Hey...Hermione.” he said timidly, as he slowly took a seat beside her. She urged him to continue, so he did.

“I got a letter from Mum today.”

“From Mrs. Weasley? What did she say?”

“It was about Christmas. We’re all going back this year, and you and Harry are invited, of course. Harry already wrote back, I was wondering if you’re also coming?”

She took a deep breath in, and thought about her answer. She wanted to go to the Weasleys, and be with Harry and Ron. Especially this year. She knew they both needed it, and her being there would make everyone happy. 

But then she remembered the letters from her parents. How much they missed her. She still hadn’t responded to her mother’s letter, and for that, she felt terribly guilty. She had to go home this year. To her mum and dad.

“I won’t be coming this year, Ronald. I’m going home.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t feel bad, it’s just that you haven't spent Christmas with them for so long, and I just feel that...I need to give them this year. I don’t know...I don’t know if I’ll be able to give them any more.”

Ron took in her words, before putting a reassuring hand on hers.

“There will be more, Hermione. You’ll be able to give them so much more. Don’t say it like that…”

“How can I not, Ron? You know this as well...we’re in a war. Something terrible is going to happen, I can sense it. We can’t just sit here and not prepare for the inevitable.”

Ron closed his eyes, squeezing Hermione’s hand even more tightly, as she sighed. He moved to get up, pulling her into a standing position with him. 

They stood together for just a few moments, taking in the comfort of the silence and just each other’s presence. Suddenly, Ron locked eyes with her, and slowly began to lower his head.

She stood there frozen for a moment, not able to comprehend what was happening. It was when his hot breath ghosted over her lips when she was able to push him away, moving as far away from him as possible.

“No...no. I’m sorry Ron. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t. I’m sorry. I have to leave.”

Quickly gathering her things, she ran out of the library as quickly as she could, not turning to look back.

* * *

  
  


“I have no idea what you’re up to Albus, but what you’re doing right now is incredibly foolish.”

“It may seem so Severus, but I have something up my sleeve that you could never even imagine.”

“Stop with your games! The boy is serious about his task! You never know what he could do! You are in constant danger.”

“Have patience, Severus, have patience. Everything will fall into place.”

“Don’t forget what happened to that girl in Hogsmeade-”

“I haven’t forgotten.”

“Then why are you simply sitting there? You must take action!”

“I think the action will take place on its own. Sometimes it’s good to just sit back and  _ observe _ , instead of going down to play.”

Snape took a deep breath in, as he clutched the desk in front of him.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do as well, Severus. I do as well.”

* * *

He’d just come out of the Room of Requirement, hot and sweaty. He’d been working for hours, and it was almost time for dinner. 

The past week had been just that. Work. Eat. Go back to work.

Time was ticking fast, and he needed to make progress. He had thought he had found a lead earlier that week, but it had ended up being nothing.

Always nothing.

His tie was loose, and his hair was untidy. Beads of sweat formed around his temple, as he put his wand back into his pocket. 

Just as he made his move to head to the Great Hall, he heard footsteps from behind him. He slowly turned around to see who was behind him.

_ Granger. _

She was running towards him, and didn’t seem to be stopping. Her hair was down, flowing freely past her shoulders, and her cheeks were graced by a barely there blush.

She ran into him, pushing him off balance, as he stumbled slightly in the secluded hallway. She clutched onto him as if her life depended on it, and she buried her face into his neck, taking in his scent.

“Granger...what-”

“Just hold me.”

He didn’t know what to do, as they stood there in the hall, Hermione clawing at him with desperation.

“Granger…”

“Please.”

He stared into her misty eyes, which stared right back at him. He slowly snaked an arm around her waist, before she lowered her lips onto his. 

Draco responded timidly at first, but soon his hands were in her hair, as he pulled her as close to him as he could. They stood there for a few minutes, drowning themselves in one another. 

Hermione’s arms were slung around his neck, and her fingers toyed with the ends of his platinum blonde hair, as she gorged on his taste. 

It was just like she remembered.

Kissing him had felt so normal. It made her feel safe. It made her forget. Forget everything else that was happening around her.

He sensed that she was desperate, and he needed this too. It had been more than a fucking week. A fucking week of torture.

He dragged them both into the room, which had been just behind them. They entered to find the same room they always found. A large king sized bed, a fireplace, two sofas, and accents of green and red. It was their room. Existing just for them.

Hermione clawed at the buttons on his shirt, and he quickly moved to assist her, shrugging the shirt off and allowing it to fall to the floor.

Her hands roamed his torso, moving over all the bumps and edges. He pulled her shirt off, as she allowed her skirt to pool at her feet, never breaking the kiss. 

They stripped to bare, as Draco lifted Hermione up, their chest clashing, as he took her to the bed. She felt his length, hard, almost throbbing, pushing against her thighs. She felt him insert his fingers in her as she moaned with pleasure.

“No...I need  _ you… _ ”

He looked into her honey coloured eyes and saw her desperation and need. Heeding to her request, he quickly positioned himself at her entrance, before entering her with a thrust.

He let out a hiss as she took him in, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. He needed this. He needed this release  _ so fucking badly. _

He moved down to kiss her neck, licking and tasting every part of her olive coloured skin. Her hands roamed his back, as her legs wrapped around his torso tightly. 

He trailed his kisses up to her face, before he gently but down on her ear. Earning a moan, he began to thrust even harder, desperate to reach the end.

“I’m close…”

The look on her face was enough to push him to the end, no matter how hard he tried not to. He groaned as he finished, and dipped his head down to let his forehead touch hers. With just a few more thrusts, she was over the edge as well, clutching Draco as she quivered, her moans muffled in his neck.

He laid there on top of her, with his forehead on hers, for just a few prolonged moments. It seemed so peaceful, so calm that way. Like the world had paused, for just a moment.

It was just him and her. The two of them.

Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.

He reluctantly moved himself off of her, before quickly reaching for his wand to mutter a quick contraception charm. He laid himself beside her, taking a deep breath in.

“Ron tried to kiss me today.”

He froze, completely immobile. He sucked a sharp breath in, his features tightening up. He didn’t know when, but he was suddenly clutching the covers, his fists balled.

“Why the fuck are you here then?” he began, furiously. “Are you trying to fuck with my head? If you’re with Weasley then-”

“What?”

“If you kissed Weasley then  _ why the fuck are you here?  _ Get away. I don’t want to see your fucking face-”

“Draco-”

“Did you not fucking hear me? If you’re fucking Weasley then-”

“I didn’t kiss him!”

His mouth closed with an audible clap, as his features relaxed significantly. He didn’t know what to say, and was thankful that Granger had continued speaking.

“I didn’t kiss him. I pushed him away...and I came here. To you.”

He closed his eyes, before resting his elbows on his knees.. He shouldn’t have burst out like that. He shouldn’t have yelled at her. Suddenly a thought dawned on him, and it had escaped past his lips before he could contain it.

“Do you regret it?”

“I...no, Draco, I don’t.”

She moved up into a sitting position with him, pulling the covers with her. She boldly moved to rest her head on his shoulder, and when he didn’t object, leaned into his warmth.

“You don’t regret leaving Weasley? Giving up what you wanted for years?”

“That was all before...before I found you. Ronald is just my friend...him and I are nothing more than that.”

He took in what her word implied, not moving a muscle, as she leaned against him.

“Granger...don’t expect anything from me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

His words caught her attention, as she swiftly looked up, still leaning on him.

“Draco…”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Granger.” he repeated. “You should...stay away from me. Go to Weasley. I’m not good for you.”

He turned away from her, looking at the flames dancing in the fireplace, before she reached up to cup his cheek in her hand, turning him back towards her.

Her thumb moved gently over his cheekbone, soothingly. 

“You  _ can  _ be good for me, Draco. You can be so much…”

He couldn’t help but lean into her touch, and drown in her gaze. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in.

“But I can’t.” he sighed. “You said it yourself. I blew it.”

Her features softened, as her eyes connected with his once more. 

“You didn’t Draco...you  _ showed  _ me I was wrong...you showed me that you can be so much more…”

“I can’t give you anything Granger. You know that.”

“I’m okay with what I have.”

They sat together in silence, Draco leaning into her touch, Hermione still running her thumb across his cheekbone.

“What  _ do  _ you have Granger?”

“You. I have you. And for now, that’s all I need.”

* * *

  
  


“He’s been distant...I don’t know why, but I know there’s something going on.”

“You should speak to him about it.”

“I have, but he just won’t let it out.”

“Just wait. Sometimes, having patience is the best thing we can do. He’ll come around eventually.”

Smiling to the witch beside him, he slung an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

“I hope you’re right.”

* * *

“Harry, have you seen Hermione? She didn’t come down to dinner.”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask Ron.”

“About Ron...he seemed off today, don’t you think?”

“I noticed it too. He seemed quite distant, and he wasn’t eating properly. Quite unlike him.”

“I feel like something happened…”

“Like what?”

“Between them. Hermione and Ron. I don’t know what, but I think something happened.”

“I don’t know, Ginny…”

“Something was clearly up with him, and she didn’t even show up.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I just think maybe we should talk it out with them. If they want to be together, they should just fucking be together, I don’t see why-”

“What?” he said, spitting out his pumpkin juice.

“I mean, it’s quite clear isn’t it? They like each other. Hermione said something about being just friends, but I have a feeling she likes him-”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know...it’s just that look in her eyes. It tells me she likes someone. She seems so distant these days...you don’t reckon she likes someone else?”

He didn’t like hiding things from his girlfriend, but sometimes, he had to. And that was one of those instances. What Hermione had told him had been just for him, and he would never tell anyone else, not before she did herself.

“I don’t know...maybe. Just...let them be. It’ll all come together one day. For now, we just have to leave them alone.”

* * *

a/n: and that’s chapter 24 folks! I know, no more daily updates, university has opened! I’m taking all my classes online, but that doesn’t make them any less of a pain in the ass. I posted this on the dramione Facebook groups, but I’m gonna say this here as well. Updates will now be weekly, and I PROMISE they will go up once a week. Maybe even earlier. You guys know I try. I hope this chapter was okay :)

I made a piece of art for this fic, (yes, I made art for my own fic) check it out on my instagram page, link is here.  [ https://www.instagram.com/p/CFtOsS8lvsd/?hl=en ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CFtOsS8lvsd/?hl=en)

I’m not an artist by any means, but I doodle around occasionally. Hope it’s not TERRIBLE. It’s a drawing of their first kiss, in Hagrid’s pumpkin patch.

I don’t really talk about politics, but whoooooo that debate was TRULY SOMETHING. I’m not even American, but for anyone that is, please, VOTE. 

Continue to social distance and please stay safe,

Sydney.

  
  
  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 25: Monster

She woke up in the safety of her four poster bed, the beams of the morning sun barely poking through the cracks. She moved to get up, yawning, as she ran her hand through her hair.

She rolled out of her bed, pulling back the curtain just enough to allow her to exit. She looked around, and noticed that no one else had woken yet, and was grateful. The last thing she needed was a blast of Parvati and Lavender in the morning. 

She hummed in her head as she brushed her hair, and then made her way to the washroom. Hermione turned on the shower, and allowed herself to step under the trinkling droplets of water, immediately warming her body. 

She couldn’t help but smile to herself, as she thought about the previous night. 

She had spent it with Draco, simply laying in bed with him, cuddled up against his warmth, safe in his arms. Neither of them had gone to the Great Hall, as they just laid together in long, comfortable silences, pretending the world outside didn’t even exist. Pretending it was just the two of them, in their little room.

Her fingertips ghosted across her neck and her shoulders, as she remembered how Draco had continued to pepper kisses along those spots. He seemed so innocent like that...just laying with her, shielded from everything else. She felt like she wanted to protect him, shield him from everything else, and send him away, somewhere safe. He didn’t deserve any of it...he was just a boy, forced to make huge decisions at such a small age. Exposed to the horrors of their world before he had even graduated from Hogwarts. 

That shit happens when you live in the midst of a raging war.

Everything had been so perfect. She didn’t know how to describe their situation, and she didn’t have a clue of what would happen in the future, but all she knew was that what she was doing felt right.

* * *

  
  


_“You. I have you. And for now, that’s all I need.”_

It completely broke him, but somehow...in a good way. All her walls were down, and somehow she’d pulled down his as well. 

Her words were killing him, and he had no idea how he had ended up in the situation he was in. Her gentle kisses were enough to keep him from leaving, and take advantage of the calmness the room provided them. None of this was supposed to be happening. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

But Granger had somehow become his escape.

She was so _good._ It was the only word he could use to describe her at the moment. She was so pure, so noble. 

He was a coward, a death eater, Lucius Malfoy’s son. She fought for the light, and he was part of the dark. She was good, and he was evil. It was as simple as that. He had no idea how to describe their...situation. He should have pulled away from her. He should have pushed her away the moment they’d kissed behind Hagrid’s hut. He should have pushed her away from _him_. She would be safer that way. 

Damn his selfishness. 

* * *

  
  


“Hello, Hermione.”

She immediately recognized the airy voice, as she turned around to greet the blonde witch approaching her, with a glazed look on her face.

“Hello, Luna. How are you?”

“I’m well...Daddy’s business is doing fantastic these days, he promised we’d go to Sweden one day to look for the crumple horned snorkacks.” 

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes, as she kept her smile set, and continued their conversation.

“That’s wonderful, Luna. I don’t see you around much lately...why so?”

“Oh...I’ve been busy.”

“Busy?”

“Busy.”

She could have pushed her for more if she had wanted to, but decided against it. Sometimes it was okay to let things go, when talking to Luna. 

“You seem different, Hermione.”

“Different?”

“Yes...you smell different. Almost...slightly minty.”

She sucked a sharp breath in, as her eyes popped. Was it really noticeable? Did her other friends notice?

“Oh...I don’t know why that’s so.”

“It could be…”

Hermione noticed Luna stop in the middle of her sentence, as her eyes strayed somewhere else. She suddenly became self conscious, checking to see what her friend was looking at.

“Hermione...what’s that?”

“What’s what?”

Luna conjured a mirror, and handed it to Hermione. She held it up, and immediately found what Luna had noticed.

A love bite.

It was on the left side of her neck, just a barely there mark, left by Draco. She lifted her fingers to it, just momentarily, before quickly handing the mirror back to Luna, and moving her hair forward to hide the mark.

“Oh, this.” she began. “I bumped myself the other day, it’s just a bruise. It’ll be fine in a few days.”

“I don’t know...you should get that checked by Madame Pomphrey...doesn’t look like a bruise to me.” she said, her eyes still on Hermione’s neck.

“Perhaps later...you go on, I have somewhere to go quickly before I go down to the Great Hall.”

“Alright. Remember to get it checked though, you never know what it could be.”

“Of course, Luna.”

And with that, she quickly muttered a glamour charm, when she was sure so one else was looking, and followed behind her friend.

* * *

  
  


“Pass the eggs.”

He snapped out of his trance, and leaned forward to reach for the eggs, and then slid them over to Blaise.

“Hey Draco...did you hear about Goyle’s father?” Blaise began, his voice low, and his head down.

“No...what happened?”

“He fucked up a mission, and took off his mask. Two ministry workers saw him.”

“And then?”

“They had to find the two workers afterwards...they killed them.”

Draco froze, putting down his toast, and closing his eyes. Two more innocent wizards , dead. 

“And...what about Goyle’s father?”

“He was tortured. I’ve heard he looks like complete shit now. They did something to his face.”

_They did something to his face…_

“Was it Greyback?”

“I’m not sure...but I’m assuming so.”

Draco’s eyes immediately found their way to Goyle, who was seated just a few people away from him. He seemed almost...sad, as he simply sat there, not eating.

He was never his friend...but was an alliance. His crony, almost. But other than Blaise and Pansy, him and Crabbe had been the only two people who had always been present in his life. 

He was a complete dunderhead. The fool couldn’t think to save his life. That’s what made it easy to pick them as his cronies...they would comply do whatever he had told them to.

But no matter how stupid he was, Goyle didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve the pain his family was experiencing. 

All the Slytherins were somewhat in the same boat at the moment. He saw how the others looked at them. He saw the pure contempt and loathing in their eyes, as they judged them for what their parents had done. But then again, perhaps they’d deserved it.

Snapping back into reality, he turned back to his friend, as he finished his breakfast as quickly as he could, eager to leave the Great Hall.

* * *

  
  


“There was what?”

“A dementor attack. They attacked three muggles in London, nearly kissed them, but the ministry workers got there in time.”

She set down her quill, a grave expression on her face, as she bit down on her lip. She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, as she massaged her temple.

“So...it’s official then. They have control of the dementors.”

“How else would they manage to get so many Death Eaters out of Azkaban?”

Hermione pushed her work away, and stared at Harry, who was sitting across from her.

“What about your visions? Are you practising Occlumency?”

When she got no answer, and saw her friend look away nervously, she exploded.

“Harry! What did I tell you? You have to shut him out!”

“I’m trying!”

“No, you’re not! You’re not taking this seriously, Harry.”

She saw him take a deep breath in, before looking up to meet her eyes.

“Okay...okay I will. It’s hard, Hermione.”

She looked at her friend empathetically, before reaching over to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I know Harry...it’s hard for all of us. It’s getting pretty real now, isn’t it?”

“It got real the moment he killed Cedric. The moment I came came back, clutching his body. It’s _been_ real. You almost _died_ last year, in the Department of Mysteries. I lost Sirius…”

Tears threatened to spill out, as she got out of her seat, and moved to sit beside Harry.

“That wasn’t your fault, Harry…”

“But it was, Hermione. If I had just listened…”

“Don’t blame yourself for things you’re not guilty of.”

There was a long pause, before he began to speak again. Harry’s eyes were closed, and she guessed it was because he didn’t want the tears to start falling.

“You know...last year, when I saw you get hit with that curse...and when Ron was getting strangled...my entire world stopped. It was all happening in front of me...but I couldn’t do anything. _He died, Hermione, and I couldn’t fucking do shit._ ” he croaked, tears finally spilling out.

She wanted to give him false promises of hope, and tell him that everything would be okay, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t come to lie to him, again.

“Times are only going to get worse, Harry. We’re in the middle of a war. But through it all, we have to remain strong. _You_ have to remain strong. For us, and for yourself.”

* * *

  
  


He sat across to his friend, in the dimly lit Slytherin common room. It was the first time they’d done this in a long time. Just relax, in the Slytherin common room. The two of them. Friends.

“You’ve been...calmer lately.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been more...like yourself.”

Draco chose not to answer, and simply stared at the fireplace in front of him.

“They killed another one.”

“Another what?”

“Muggle born.”

Draco snapped up to attention, and looked up to meet his companion’s eyes. 

“Her name was Malorie Jones. She was in her home, with her parents and sister, who were muggles. They were all tortured, and then killed with the killing curse.”

“How do you know this?”

“My mother. She may not be a Death Eater, but she has her connections. She was a Slytherin, after all.”

Draco massaged his temple, as he stared into the fireplace, not knowing how to respond.

“You know, I just realized something.”

“What?”

“You don’t say it anymore. Mudblood.”

He sucked a sharp breath in, his eyes finding their way back to his friend. He looked at him for a prolonged moment, before finally finding his words.

“Neither do you.”

“When did I ever?”

Draco furrowed his brows, looking to Blaise, gesturing for him to elaborate.

“I never used that word, Draco. I didn’t even know what it meant, before you said it to Granger in Second Year.”

He remembered the day Blaise had mentioned, when he had just gotten added to the Slytherin quidditch team, and he’d called Granger...mudblood.

It felt so weird to think of it now, back when him and Granger...hated each other. _Everything_ was different now. 

Thinking about it, he didn’t remember the last time Blaise had ever said that word. He’d _never_ heard him say it. It was always only him. 

How fucking ironic.

“I have...more important things to think about than that word. It means nothing to me.”

He saw Blaise give him a skeptical look, before shrugging, and moving back to occupy himself with his essay. 

Suddenly, Draco felt suffocated. He needed to get away, and go somewhere else. 

Just be alone.

“I have to go, Blaise. I’ll see you later.”

* * *

  
  


“I’m okay, Hermione.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

She smiled at him, rising to go back to her previous seat, pulling her essay back to her.

“Hermione...I was discussing this with Ginny the other day...did something happen with Ron?”

“What?”

“He’s been so...awkward lately. So have you. What’s going on, Hermione?”

She thought about not telling him the truth, but she couldn’t come to lie to him. She had to tell him. 

“He...he tried to kiss me.”

“What?!”

“Yeah…”

“Hermione, when was this?”

“Two nights ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…”

“Never mind that, what exactly happened?”

“We...we were just talking, and then...he leaned in…”

“And?”

“I pushed him away.”

Harry pursed his lips, massaging his temple. He looked up at Hermione, who was looking to him, waiting for him to speak.

“Is this because of...the other bloke you like?”

She took a moment to contemplate her answer, biting her lip, inhaling deeply.

“Yes.” she breathed out.

“Hermione...listen. It’s clear to me that...you really like this guy. Just tell me...does he feel the same way about you?”

She closed her eyes, and rested her head in her hands. 

“It’s more complicated than a yes or a no.”

“Listen Hermione...I just don’t want you to hurt yourself. You deserve so much more than this.”

“Maybe I do...but all I know is that _this_ is what I want.”

He pursed his lips at her response, and reached over to take her hands in his.

“Just be careful Hermione. Don’t hurt yourself.”

She didn’t respond, but instead chose to smile back at her friend. She rose up to give him a hug, and immediately felt his arms wrap around her as well.

“Thank you for being here, Harry.” She said, retracting slightly. “I need to go, I’ll see you later.”

* * *

  
  


She made her way to the Astronomy Tower, eager to find an escape from everything else. She just wanted to stand at the railing, and take in the beauty of the Hogwarts grounds. Her conversation with Harry left her feeling heavy, and sometimes, just staring at the mountains made every problem feel like nothing. Even if it _was_ just for a moment.

Just as she made her way to the railing, she found a tall figure already there, leaning against the rails as his hair moved with the gentle breeze.

_Draco._

He turned around, and immediately met her eyes. She didn’t know why, but her feet moved of their own accord, placing her beside him.

“Why are you here?” she asked, inquisitively.

And then, for the first time ever, she had seen him smile.

“Just staring at the mountains.”

She couldn’t help but smile at his response, as she leaned forward, allowing her hair to flow freely in the wind. They both took advantage of the long, comfortable silence between them, before Draco finally spoke.

“Have you done anything about your parents?”

“What?”

“They’re murdering muggles left and right. Your parents are muggles, Granger.”

The realization hit her like a blast of chilly wind. Her parents weren’t safe. No one was, but her parents were at a higher risk. She didn’t know what she would do if anything happened to them…

“You should do something about them Granger...if they’re attacked, they won’t go easy. They torture them for hours, before they let them die. They make them beg for death, and still don’t give it to them.”

She felt chills run up her spine, as he spoke softly. Suddenly, she felt the urge to ask him a question.

“Did they...did they make you do it?”

She saw him run his fingers through his hair, and inhale deeply, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the railing.

“They would bring them in, and put them in a room. They were already covered with scars, but they weren’t satisfied with that. They made me watch, as they did it all. I couldn’t do _shit,_ Granger. I just stood there. Watching them die.”

“Draco…”

“They made me do it as well. I had to use the Cruciatus curse, they wouldn’t accept anything else. I couldn’t stop until they screamed. I had to do it...they would kill me if I didn’t. They would kill my parents if they didn’t.”

She didn’t know what to say. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, as she gripped the railing.

“I had to do it Granger...I didn’t have a choice. I would die if I didn’t…my mother would die if I didn’t...”

She moved forward, boldly pulling him away from the railing, to her. He stared into her eyes, his eyes glassy, as they both stood alone in the Astronomy Tower, with all their walls down. 

She wrapped her arms around him, enveloping him in a warm hug. She didn’t know what to say, and hoped her actions spoke for her. She was surprised when she felt his arms wrap around her, as his head dipped to the crook of her neck. She took in his scent, just holding him, as she felt a tear roll down his cheek, and onto her neck.

“It’s okay Draco...don’t blame yourself for things you weren’t in control of.”

“I’m a monster…”

“No. You’re not.”

And with a quick kiss on his forehead, she simply held him, for what felt like hours. 

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. 

_Thank you...for being here._

* * *

  
  


a/n: and that was chapter 25! I just want to thank everyone who has been reading and leaving reviews, it really means so much to me.

Long weekend!! Lucky for you guys, that means a possible double update. 

Happy Thanksgiving to anyone that may be celebrating. Thank God for turkeys, Harry Potter, and coffee. 

Once again, review, review, review! They make my day. 

Love you guys, 

Sydney.


	26. Chapter 26

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 26: Spells

They sat together for hours, after Hermione had conjured up a blanket, and gestured for Draco to join her. At the back of her mind, even though it seemed illogical, she felt that Draco wouldn’t refuse.

And he didn’t.

She smiled as she remembered boldly placing herself between his legs, and leaning back against his chest, as his fingers slowly drummed against the railing. She expected him to push her away, but she took his openness as an opportunity to cross every boundary.

“Muggles have gone to the moon?”

She smiled, as she listened to the thuds of his heartbeat, and looked up to the starry night sky.

“They have. It was in 1969. A muggle named Neil Armstrong was the first man to step foot on the moon. It was aired live on television, I still remember stories my parents have told me, about how they watched it when they were younger.”

“Television?”

“A television is a little box, with moving pictures, usually used for entertainment.”

He scratched his head in confusion, as she laughed. The breeze blew against them, and Hermione shivered, as her hair moved with the wind.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to cast a heating charm-”

“No.” she replied, melting into him, taking in his warmth. “This...is good.”

He noticed her slight movement, and immediately wrapped his arms around her, and conjured another blanked to wrap around them.

“Thank you.” she breathed out, smiling. When he didn’t reply, she craned her neck back to give him a quick kiss on his cheek.

Draco raised his eyebrow at her, but didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a bit longer, before Draco finally spoke.

“Granger…”

“Yes?”

“If muggles can’t do magic, how the fuck did they get to the moon?”

“They went on a rocket ship.”

“What’s a—”

“A rocket is a vehicle muggles use to go into space.”

He paused for a moment, taking in her words, seemingly almost contemplating what to say next.

“They made that rocker—?”

“Rocket—”

“Whatever. They made it without magic?”

“Yes, Draco, they made it without magic.”

He seemed as if he didn’t know what to say next, as he looked up to the moonlit sky. One of his arms was still wrapped around Hermione, as the other one tapped on the railing.

“Muggles are smarter than you think, Draco. Just because they can’t perform magic doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of doing anything. Muggles have accomplished a lot through science.” 

He seemed to mumble something, but she didn’t catch it, and decided not to bring it up. Instead, she melted deeper into his warmth, leaning her head far back, as she heard Draco take a breath in, as he placed his chin in the crook of her neck, taking in her scent. 

Everything was calm. Everything was peaceful. Everything was okay.

For now.

* * *

  
  


She walked back to the common room, more content than she had been in months. It was past curfew, so she made sure no one saw her, as she snuck through the halls, back into the Gryffindor common room. 

She was still smiling to herself, as she walked through the portrait hole, as images of her and Draco flashed through her head. It felt terribly cheesy, but she couldn’t wipe the foolish grin off her face even if she tried. Just as she made her way to the staircase, she heard someone call her name.

“Hermione…”

She stopped in her tracks, and turned around to see who had called her, even though she had already recognized the voice.

“Ron.”

He seemed nervous, as he pursed his lips, twiddling his fingers. He seemed unable to form words, as he opened and shut his mouth multiple times.

“Hi…”

“Hello, Ron.”

“Hermione...I think we should talk. Do you fancy joining me?”

She took a few moments to respond, before she nodded her head, and joined him beside the cackling flames of the warm fireplace.

“So…”

“Ron, I know what you’re trying to talk about. I just—”

“I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I’m sorry, Hermione. I really am. I shouldn’t have done that...especially after you said we should take it slowly. I really don’t want to continue being like this, it’s fucking irritating—”

“Ron—”

“I just miss you, Hermione. As my best friend. Can we go back to how it was before? Before any of this happened? I need you back. I need my best friend back.”

Before she knew it, her lips curled into a smile, as her warm honey coloured eyes playfully drifted to meet his cool blue ones.

“I think I would like that. I think I would like that very much.”

* * *

  
  


As the gleams of daylight peeked through his curtain, Draco shifted awake, lifting his arms above his head, yawning. He felt well rested, even though he didn’t wake up beside Granger. Even after her absence,  _ she  _ was the reason he had slept properly.

They hadn’t shagged, and had barely kissed. They’d just...stayed with each other until curfew. 

He remembered when Granger had craned her neck to place a kiss on his cheek. It was so pure...it melted him. He didn’t let it show, but it did. He had never been kissed like that before. Purely a kiss with no other intention behind it. 

He had become so used to being this way with her. Sometimes it didn’t even register to him that what they were doing wasn’t okay. That what they were doing wasn’t normal.

But at this point, they’d crossed all the boundaries already. 

He pulled back the curtain, and began to make his way to the dresser. He was greeted by Blaise, who was fixing his Slytherin green tie in front of the mirror.

“Good morning, princess.”

“Fuck off.”

Draco picked up the pitcher, and poured himself a glass of water.

“So...how come you returned late last night?”

“I could ask the same of you.”

Blaise chuckled, as he took a seat on his bed, watching Draco drink his water.

“Let’s just say...I was busy.”

Draco raised his eyebrows at his companion, as he placed his glass down.

“Something’s been up with you lately.”

“You always say that.”

“Yes...but something different. Before, when you used to return late, you came back looking like shit. Now, when you return late, you seem like you met a unicorn on your trip back, and just won the quidditch cup.”

He kept his expression indifferent, but turned around just in case. The cool morning wind blew across his face, and ruffled his already messy hair even more. 

“What’s up, Draco?”

“What?”

“I’ve been observing you for a few days...and I’ve wanted to ask you this question for quite some time...is there anything going on between you and Pansy?”

“What?” he said, turning around.

“You seem surprised. Is it not her? Or are you just surprised that I guessed?”

“What the fuck are you talking about—”

“I just had an assumption.”

“You had the wrong fucking assumption—”

“Okay, okay.” Blaise surrendered, his hands up. “I won’t push this subject. Now hurry the fuck up and get ready. I’m starving.”

Giving his friend one last skeptical look, he turned to his trunk, digging to find his school uniform, eager to get to the Great Hall as well.

* * *

  
  


“So...Ron told me the two of you spoke last night?”

“We did.”

“And?”

“We...sorted things out.”

“Did you tell him about...about your other guy?”

“No. But I see no reason why I shouldn’t—”

“Not now, Hermione. Now isn’t a good time. You’ll tell him.  _ We’ll  _ tell him. Just not now.”

She nibbled on her lip, as she slowly placed her books on the desk in front of her.

“Okay...but I have to tell him soon. He’s my best friend, Harry. He had a right to know.”

“And he  _ will _ know. Just...keep it a secret for now.” he whispered. “It’s getting quite crowded, don’t you think? I’ll just cast the Muffliato—”

“Harry! I told you not to use that spell!”

“What’s the matter if I do? It’s incredibly useful.”

“It’s from that book...you know not to trust a book Harry. Remember?”

“That was different. This is an actual bloke—”

“You know, it could be a girl as well—”

“ _ —possibly blokette _ , who wrote this. This is different from Riddle’s diary.”

“Yes but—”

“So why shouldn’t I take advantage of all the tips in it?”

She inhaled deeply, just as she noticed Slughorn head towards the front of the class.

“Just...be careful, Harry. You don’t know what any of these spells are for sure. Just be careful.”

* * *

  
  


“Everyone should bring their vial up to my desk. They will be tested, graded, and returned to you next class.”

As he placed his vial on Slughorn’s desk, he noticed the Professor give Blaise an extra wide smile, while he merely nodded to him. Moving quickly, he exited the class with Blaise, leaving the crowd behind them.

“I have Ancient Runes next. Where are you going?”

“Free period.”

“Lucky bastard. I’ll see you later then.”

“Alright.” he replied, as he watched Blaise walk away.

He needed to take this opportunity to go to the Room of Requirement, and get some work done. He was falling behind, and it was almost December. He had to be working more quickly. Time was passing fast.

* * *

  
  


“Hey! What are those? Weasley products?”

She heard her friend chuckle, and she playfully slapped his arm in defence. 

“There’s nothing to laugh about, Harry! I have to go deal with these Third Years...you go on, I’ll join you in a bit. I have to confiscate these first…”

“Of course.” he laughed. “If you find bouncing frisbees, bring one back for Ron, he’s been dying to have one for—”

“Harry!”

“Just kidding.”

* * *

  
  


He moved on the fifth floor alone, and was about to reach the staircase, just when he heard footsteps behind him. Slowly, he turned around to see who it was. 

“Potter.”

“Malfoy.”

“Why that  _ fuck _ do I find you in my presence?” he hissed.

“Where are you going all alone, Malfoy?”

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

The tension was thick in the air, as both wizards faced each other, six feet apart. Draco noticed Potter reach for his wand, and he did the same. 

Before they knew it, both of their wands were drawn, as they stood alone in the empty hallway.

“Don’t fucking follow me…”

“Not following Malfoy...your father doesn’t own this building. He’s not here to save your pathetic arse.”

“Don’t cross the line Potter…” he mumbled, his teeth gritted. 

“Just show me your left arm…”

Their wands were pointed at each other, now just a metre away. Either of them could explode at any given moment…

“I’m warning you, get the fuck away from me Potter.”

“Show me your left arm.”

“Fuck off!”

“SHOW ME YOUR LEFT ARM AND PROVE YOU AREN’T—”

“STUPEFY!”

Potter ducked just in time, as the spell missed him by millimetres, almost singeing his hair.

“Incarcerous!”

“Protego!”

Blasts of red, orange, and blue bounced off the walls around them, as they dueled in the middle of the empty hall. Both were skilled duellists, and neither refused to admit defeat…

“Sectumsempra!”

Before he could blink, he felt a sharp, throbbing pain in his lower abdomen. He dropped his wand, and looked down to find a deep gash, oozing blood. His legs gave up, as he dropped to the floor, groaning in pain.

He felt like he was being repeatedly stabbed, as he felt his shirt dampen with his blood, as he writhed on the floor, in pain.

He was going to die. 

Maybe this was meant to happen...maybe this was how he was supposed to go. 

He fucking deserved it.

He deserved the pain, and he deserved to die. He didn’t have the energy to make any more sound, so he simply laid in his spot, unable to move, as he awaited death. 

_ It hurt so fucking much… _

Suddenly, he heard a voice from across the hall, and a sudden rush of footsteps. He used all the energy he had left in him to turn his head.

_ Granger… _

“Harry, what the fuck!”

He sensed her bend down beside him, and take his face in her hands. 

This was better. At least he could die with Granger beside him. 

“Hermione…” he croaked.

He felt a tear roll down her cheek, and onto his, dampening his face. His eyes rolled in his sockets, as he heard her running away, yelling for professors. Fuck, he didn’t think anything could save him. She should have stayed…

The last thing he heard was Granger coming back, dragging Snape along with her, before everything went black.

* * *

  
  


She was shaking, as she stood outside of the hospital wing, covered in blood. Tears kept flooding down her cheeks, as she watched Snape float him in.

He looked as good as dead.

_ Please...please be alive. Please don’t be dead. Please. _

Merlin, she felt like her soul had been torn apart when she’d found him lying in the hallway with Harry. 

_ “Hermione…” _

The way he’d said it had been so broken, like he’d already given up. He  _ had  _ to be alive. She had to hear him say it again…

She peeked inside, not wanting to be seen, and saw Madame Pomprey moving in and out of a curtained area, with Snape nowhere to be seen. She assumed he would be inside the curtains. 

Moving back outside, she sat in the middle of the hall, alone, waiting for as long as it took. 

He  _ had  _ to be okay. 

_ She wouldn’t be able to take it if he wasn’t. _

* * *

  
  


a/n: I know, I hinted at a possible double update last week and it didn’t come. I’m an asshole, I know. I have like fifty assignments right now, and I’m trying to juggle between completing those, and giving time to my family. In times of COVID, I think it’s really important that we take the opportunity to spend time with our close ones, no matter what, so sorry guys! I’ll try to make up for it with a speedy update, but don’t quote me on this.

Who doesn’t love a bit of a cliffy at the end of a chapter? No one...oh well...stay tuned for the next update!

I’m not American, but to all the Americans out there: PLEASE vote. Do it. Your vote matters. 

Once again, remember to social distance and always wear a mask in a public place! Cases are SPIKING here, and in so many other places around the world. Don’t let down your guard guys, COVID-19 is not a joke!

Leave a review, I love them. They’re the best. Really.

Stay safe and healthy,

Sydney.


	27. Chapter 27

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 27: Breakfast

“Hermione!”

She snapped back into reality, as she looked up to find Ron rushing towards her. She slowly rose from her spot on the floor, as Ron approached her.

“Hermione! You’re covered in blood…”

“Ron, Harry—”

“He’s okay for now. He explained everything to Dumbledore. He has detention, but he won’t be expelled. I thought you’d be here, what happened—”

“I was heading to Charms with Harry, but then got busy with some Third Years. I told Harry to go ahead, and told him that I’d join him. When I was done, I was on my way to Charms, but I heard noises coming from a hallway on the fifth floor. When I got there...I saw Harry standing a few feet away from...Malfoy...who was covered in blood…”

Her voice started to quiver, so she stopped herself before the tears began to fall. 

“Did you get any news on Malfoy? Could he be de—”

“No! No...I think he’s fine. I didn’t get any news on him, but he’s fine.”

Just as she spoke, Snape came out of the hospital wing, seemingly with a sense of urgency. Madame Pomprey came out after him, with a kinder expression on her face. He gave them a cold look, before quickly turning on his heel, leaving them in front of the hospital wing. 

“Madame Pomprey—”

“He’s okay, dear. He was hit with a terrible curse, absolutely terrible. It was extremely dark magic, I don’t know who could possibly have cast it. Thank Merlin Professor Snape was there in time, and was able to cast the anti-jinx, otherwise even I couldn’t have saved him.”

Hermione turned to look at Ron, with a grave expression on her face. The momentary wave of relief to hear that Draco was okay had gone as quickly as it had come, as thoughts of how this possibly could have happened flooded her mind. 

_ Dark magic… _

She needed to see Draco herself, and make sure he was okay. She peeked through the crack in the door, but couldn’t see anything. She moved one step closer, craning her neck to see…

“Hermione?”

She jumped back, moving away from the door, as she watched the mediwitch go back in.

“Yes?”

“We should go back now. You should take a shower.”

“Yeah…”

“Shall we go?”

“Okay.” she replied, as Ron raised his eyebrows. 

They walked to the end of the hall together, before Hermione stopped in her tracks.

“Ron...you go ahead. I’ll be going to the prefect’s bathroom, I’ll meet you in the common room.”

“Alright.” he nodded. “Will you be fine walking there yourself? Or do you want me to—”

“I’ll be okay, Ron. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. See you.”

And the moment he left, she immediately turned back in the direction she came from, and made her way to the hospital wing.

* * *

  
  


“Do you see this? Do you see what is happening? The boy could have died!”

The headmaster rose from his seat, and began pacing across the room, as his navy blue cloak dragged behind him.

“Harry had no bad intentions, Severus.”

“ _ He almost killed Draco. _ ”

“But he didn’t, did he? You were there to save him—”

“How can you not take this seriously? If Draco had died, do you realize what that would mean? This boy is in more danger than you realize!”

“He is, Severus, but I am confident that nothing will happen to him. He will be fine.”

“Have you gone senile? Did you not witness—”

“Ah, but Severus, do you not remember what I had told you last month? I had found something that completely changes everything?”

“I have no idea what you’re—”

“Oh but you do. Replay tonight’s events, and look at all the details. You’ll find the answer you are looking for.”

“This is completely—”

“You will find the answer you’re looking for. Trust me.”

* * *

  
  


She slowly opened the door to the hospital wing, making sure to make the least amount of sound possible. As she tiptoed in, she saw Madame Pomprey working in her office, so she took the opportunity to scan the room, searching for Draco. All the patients seemed to be sleeping, but one bed had its curtains pulled around it. He was nowhere else to be seen, so slowly, she pulled back the curtain, and slipped inside. Just as she closed the curtain, she found him. 

He looked so much better, a huge difference from what he looked like when she had found him in the hall. He seemed to be sleeping, so she took a few steps forward, and settled herself in the chair beside his bed.

He looked so calm, so peaceful, lost in the world of slumber. She hoped he would be able to get a bit of undisturbed rest, before he would wake up once more. Seeing him there, she couldn’t help but move closer, and slowly take his hand in hers. It was cold, so she reached to hold it with her other hand as well. She stared at his resting features, as his chest rose and fell, their mingled breaths the only sound she could hear. Before she realized what she was doing, she leaned down, and placed a kiss on his forehead, almost as though it would help him to recover. She placed her forehead on his, still holding his hand, simply staying in that position for a few prolonged moments. 

Before she had to go back to her world of chaos.

She pulled back slightly, and allowed her hands to cup his face, as she stroked her fingers through his icy blonde hair. Her thumb brushed across his bottom lip, as she listened to the thuds of his heart beat. 

He was beautiful, in such a cruel way.

She wanted to stay for longer, but when she realized the time, she slowly rose, hesitantly letting go of his hand. She looked at him one last time, before turning away, slowly pulling back the curtain, and leaving the hospital wing, as quietly as she came.

As she left, she didn’t see the boy she left behind open his eyes, as he turned to take a look at her before she had left, but all he saw was the back of her shirt, covered in blood... _ his  _ blood, and a glimpse of her coffee coloured curls, before she was gone.

* * *

  
  


She slowly made her way back to the Gryffindor common room, now clean, her skin no longer blemished with traces of Draco’s blood.

Merlin, she had been petrified.

Seeing him like that broke her, as she remembered the ghostly expression etched across his face, when she found him in the hallway. Seeing him in the hospital wing, his face restored with colour, made her feel much better.

She muttered the password to the Fat Lady, and stepped into the Gryffindor common room. When she got in, she immediately found Ron and Harry, who were waiting for her. When they saw her come in, they immediately rose out of their seats, and rushed to Hermione’s side.

“Hermione—”

“I’m okay, Ron.”

He nodded, as he directed her back to their corner of the common room. She took a seat, but didn’t begin speaking until a few minutes after. She had no idea what to say, as the words swirled around on her tongue, but refused to come out. Finally, it was Harry who broke the silence.

“Hermione…”

“Why, Harry?”

“I…”

“I told you that Half Blood Prince, whoever they are, is evil! I told you not to use that book! Especially not try out unknown spells!”

“I know—”

“You knew? Did you  _ see  _ what happened? Did you  _ see  _ what happened to...to Malfoy?”

“I—”

“ _ He almost died.  _ Thank  _ Merlin  _ Snape was there in time, otherwise...otherwise who knows what could have happened.”

“I promise Hermione, I didn’t know what the spell would do! I would never have—”

“I know you would never have used it if you had known what it would do, Harry. I just need you to understand the severity of your actions. What  _ could  _ have happened.”

There was a silence between them, as Hermione patiently waited for an answer, and Harry looked down, seemingly contemplating what to say. Ron watched the entire interaction, not saying anything, but with a grave expression fixated on his face.

“You were right, Hermione...I should have listened to you.”

Hermione looked at her friend empathetically, as she rose to sit beside him, extending her arm, swinging it around his shoulders, offering comfort.

“There’s no point in should haves, Harry. Next time, we just need to be careful.”

She saw him give her a reluctant smile, as she squeezed his hand.

“Mate...everything’s all good but...what happened to the book?” Interjected Ron.

“The book! I completely forgot! When Snape told me to go to Dumbledore’s office, I ran to the Room of Requirement first, and I left the book in there.”

“Don’t go back for it.”

“But Hermione—”

“Don’t go back for it, Harry. Please.”

Inhaling deeply, he took a few moments to think to himself, before finally answering.

“Okay.”

* * *

  
  


He allowed his fingers to ghost over his cheeks, almost feeling the pleasant remains of Granger’s touch. He remembered the way she’d snuck in to see him, and then kissed him when he was asleep. Everything was all fucked up, and  _ he  _ was a fucking mess.

“Hey.”

He snapped up to attention, as he saw Blaise walk in. Slowly lifted himself up slightly, he moved to a sitting position, leaning back against the pillow. His body still ached, but it was much better than before.

“Snape told me about what happened...he said I should come to check on you.”

Fucking Snape. Fuck him.

“So you came because of that?”

“That, and also to see if it was true. And I can evidently see that it is.”

Draco mumbled something under his breath, but Blaise didn’t catch it.

“So...Potter really did that?”

He didn’t answer, but his face showed sufficient emotion for Blaise to deduce what was inside his head. His jaw was set, his eyes piercing, as if one look from them could kill.

“You know, I saw Granger in the hall earlier. She was completely covered with blood, and looked  _ awful _ . It seemed like she’d seen a ghost. Did that have anything to do with you?”

He raised his eyebrows, and pursed his lips, taking in the information. He hadn’t seen her properly when she came to visit him, but he had seen a quick glimpse of the back of her shirt, which was an ominous, dark maroon colour.

“Yeah. She was there.”

“So she and Potter attacked you together?”

“What?”

“Granger and Potter attacked you together?”

“No...it was only the Pothead. Granger came after he had...hit me with that curse.”

“I see. Typical. Potter or Weasley fuck up, Granger’s there to save the day. Tell me something new—”

“What?”

“You don’t get it?”

“I would appreciate it if you could elaborate, your Highness—”

“If you would like me to elaborate, you should show some respect, smartass—”

“I don’t know how I could possibly show any more respect than addressing you as your Highness, but if you’re into something else, let me know—”

“Alright, alright,” smirked Blaise. “This might be a beating to your incredibly huge ego—”

“The fuck—”

“—but it seems to me that Granger has saved your life. You said she got there after Potter cursed you? She was the one who most likely brought Snape there in time. If he hadn’t gotten there in time, I’m hearing that you very possibly could have been dead. That was  _ some  _ curse he hit you with. Where do you think he learnt it from?”

He didn’t catch the last part, but he didn’t care. His mind was flooded with thoughts, as he looked back at what happened. 

Granger...had saved his life.

_ And perhaps, this was not the first time. _

* * *

  
  


She laid in her four poster bed, safe within her four curtains. She thought about everything that had happened on that day, and decided that she  _ needed  _ rest.

With only one person on her mind, she slowly drifted away to sleep, safe in the world of slumber, for just a few undisturbed hours.

* * *

  
  


He peered out the window, from his little bed in the hospital wing, as Granger’s words replayed themself in his head, for the hundredth time.

He didn’t know when, but somehow, he fell asleep. And this time, his dreams did  _ not  _ come to haunt him.

* * *

  
  


As she walked down the staircase, someone grabbed her from behind, spinning her around to face them.

“Ginny! It’s only you...you gave me a scare.”

“Sorry!” she chimed. “Harry told me about yesterday, but I want to hear it from you.”

“What would you like you hear?”

“So...it’s all true then? The curse, Malfoy.”

“It is.”

Ginny raised her eyebrows, as both of the witches made their way through the hustle and bustle of the common room. When they walked out of the portrait, they immediately found Harry and Ron waiting for them, just a few feet away.

“Good morning, Hermione.” greeted Ron.

“Good morning, Ronald.” she responded with a smile, though slightly blandly.

The four Gryffindors made their way through the halls, on their way to the Great Hall. They didn’t miss the stares they received—Harry received—as they parted their way through the crowd. Everyone seemed wary, though not cold. The four quickly found their seats, and began eating as quickly as possible. As she ate, Hermione’s eye caught the front page of the Daily Prophet, as she snatched the paper from Ron, who was focused on the sports section.

“Hey! I was—”

“Shhhh.” she urged.

The paper lay in her fingertips, crisp and fresh, as her eyes scanned across the paper.

_ MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN! BE VIGILANT, SAYS THE MINISTER. _

Her heart began to pound in her ribcage, as she devoured the newspaper.

“What is it?” questioned Ron.

“Look at it yourself.” she replied, handing him the paper. She leaned across the table to get Harry’s attention, who was engaged in a conversation with Ginny.

“Harry! Have you read the Daily Prophet?”

“No, wh—”

“Read it!” she said, grabbing the paper from Ron, and shoving it into Harry’s hands. 

She saw his features immediately become grim, as his brows furrowed, and his lips pursed. She turned to look at Ron, who was seated beside her, with an equally grave expression as Harry. In fact, the entire Great Hall became more and more quiet, as people began to take notice of the newspaper, as if someone had announced the death of a close one. 

“What does this mean?” asked Ron.

“It means that they have control of the Ministry now. A breakout like this means the Dementors are completely on their side, and to accomplish such a task, you would need hands inside the Ministry. It’s only a bit longer until they completely take over, it’s just a matter of time.”

Harry massaged his temple, as Ron stopped eating. She then saw Ginny, who seemed to be lost in her own train of thoughts. Realizing she was running out of time, she moved to get up from the table, intending to make a stop before her first class.

“I have to go to the library before class. I’ll see you guys later, I have to go.”

* * *

  
  


The rays of daylight coaxed him awake, as he stirred under the bedsheets given to him by Madame Pomprey. He slowly opened his eyes, and found the mediwitch arranging his breakfast on his bedside table. 

“Oh! Mr, Malfoy, you’re awake! Eat your breakfast, I’ll have to do some diagnostic checks later on.”

He reluctantly pulled the tray toward him, as he began to eat the eggs in his plate.

“How long am I here?”

“Well, seeing the severity of...the spell you were hit with, at least a week—”

“A fucking week—”

“Language, Mr. Malfoy. Yes, you will be staying here for a week. No need to worry, you will be taken well care of. And I’m sure your friends will be able to help you catch up on your missed schoolwork.” she added.

Draco groaned, as he shoved the tray away, not in the mood to eat. Before she left, he asked the mediwitch to close his curtain around him. At least  _ that _ would provide him with some sort of peace.

Just moments after the mediwitch had left, someone began to pull back his curtain again, and he rolled his eyes in irritation, not understanding why Pomprey could possibly feel the need to speak to him again.

“Draco...you’re awake.”

The voice that called his name caused him to immediately snap to attention, as he turned to face the person who had spoken.

“Granger.” he breathed out, her name just slipping past his tongue.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, as she moved to tentatively take a seat on his bedside.

“I feel like shit.”

She smiled, as she adjusted her uniform,

“I guess that much is inevitable, when you bled two oceans worth of blood last night.”

“Was it really that bad?”

She gently nibbled on her lip, as her brows furrowed, on hearing his question. 

“It was...horrific. Like a scene out of a horror movie.”

“What’s a horror movie?”

“A movie is something muggles usually watch in television, for entertainment, and horror movies are movies that are scary.”

He raised his eyebrows, but made no comment, as he stared into his bedsheet, not knowing where to look.

Hermione looked around their surroundings, and found an abandoned breakfast tray, which seemed like it had been barely touched. 

“Haven’t you eaten?”

“What?”

“Have you not eaten your breakfast?”

“No.”

She pursed her lips, as her honey eyes looked at him, almost patronizingly.

“Why not?”

“I didn’t feel like it.”

“Draco, you’re not a child anymore. You need to eat, it will give you energy. Your body needs it.”

She rose to pick up the tray, and push it forward to him, insisting he take it.

“Granger, I told you—”

“No. You need to eat. I won’t hear if.”

“Granger—”

“Don’t Granger me!  _ I  _ saw you last night, you looked absolutely horrible. Not to mention you aren’t looking the spiffiest at the moment—”

“Hey! I’m taking that personally—” 

“Take it how you must, but you need to eat.” finished Hermione, with a stern look on her face.

The corners of Draco’s lips curled into a smirk, as he watched the witch in front of him, her hair wild, and her eyes blazing. 

“Okay, okay, you win. I’m eating,  _ mother. _ ” he finally said in surrender, his hands up.

She shot him a smirk of her own, as she sat back down in her seat, watching him eat.

“It was evident  _ someone  _ had to mother you, you’re getting completely out of hand—”

“Preposterous. I’m the most well behaved boy you’ve seen.”

She took her head, and chose not to answer. Instead, she watched him eat his breakfast, a small, barely there smile, present in his features. Seeing him like this caused her to smile herself, as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

_ I wish you were like this...all the time. Happy. Smiling. Being yourself, without a care in the world. Being Draco. _

He finished his food, and moved to put the tray back on his table, as Hermione immediately darted up to assist him.

“I’m okay, Granger—”

“No, you’re not. I have to leave in five minutes, but please, don’t try to do something that will end up hurting you. Your body needs rest.” she said, staring into his mysterious, grey eyes.

He drowned into her chocolate orbs, as time seemed to freeze. Both of them just stayed there, not daring to move, scared they would disrupt the calmness of the silence, and the solace they found in each other. Finally, it was Draco who broke the silence.

“Why do you do this?” he asked.

“Why do I do what, Draco?”

“Why do you do  _ this.  _ Why do you make it seem like you care? Why do you do this, Granger...to me?”

She didn’t know why, but suddenly, her eyes became misty. She closed her eyes, and moved away from him, picking up her pack from the chair, moving to leave. Just before she pulled back the curtain, she paused in her tracks, her back facing Draco.

“You may not believe it...but I do this because I care, Draco. I really do. Believe it or not, but  _ I do. _ ”

* * *

  
  


a/n: chapter 27! I can’t believe I’ve already written this much! It feels like it was just yesterday when I started writing this, thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey from the start. 

Exams are coming, so yeah, shitty times ahead. I’ll pull through, luckily, I’m studying something I absolutely love! Can’t wait until the day I see that doctorate degree hanging on my wall.

So many people have been putting up their Christmas decorations in my neighbourhood, but it isn’t even Halloween! I’m thinking about costume ideas, and I think I'm going to be a bottle of hand sanitizer this year. And yes, I am an adult, planning their Halloween costume. I won’t even be going out that day, it’ll just be something I wear during my online classes! I could completely fail in life, but I will  _ never  _ do Halloween wrong. 

Once again, reviewwwwww. I love to see them.

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Apologies and Triumphs

Every morning, she’d sneak in, right after breakfast, check on him, and leave, and then again, when the moon peeked out, she’d return just to spend time with  _ him _ , before tiptoeing back out of the hospital wing, and back to her dormitory. He would never admit it, but during his days in the hospital wing, seeing  _ her  _ was the best part of his day. Simply seeing her their, laughing, smiling, doing nothing. 

They hadn’t brought up what had happened on the first night she came to visit him, but he couldn’t get it out of his head. 

_ “Believe it or not, but I do.” _

He furrowed his brow, as he yet again, fruitlessly tried to push Granger out of his mind, as he took a sip of his pumpkin juice, which sat patiently as his bedside table. He watched as Madame Pomfrey approached him, with a tray and her wand. 

“I’ll be doing a quick check on you, Mister Malfoy. You seem to be improving. You should be safe to go by the end of this week. I’d like to keep you until then, just to make sure.”

He mumbled something incoherently, as he allowed her to complete her checks in silence, watching the droplets of rain thud against his window pane, creating a soothing rhythm. It was eight, which meant Granger would be there in about an hour. 

“One last thing before I go, Mister Malfoy. Your mother wrote you a letter, I have it with—”

“Mother wrote me a letter?”

“Yes, she did. I have it with me right here, here you go.” The elderly witch said, with a kind expression.

Draco slowly took the note, treating it like the most delicate thing to exist. As he turned to make sure the mediwitch had gone, he slowly began to peel back the envelope, and proceeded to take out a crisp piece of parchment, unfolding it to read its contents.

_ Draco, _

_ Oh, how are you, love? We heard about what had happened, your father and I haven’t gotten a single minute of sleep since we heard! We had wanted to visit you, but your father got caught up with something out of the blue. Dumbledore personally wrote us a letter saying you were completely healthy, so we ultimately chose to stay back. Tell me Draco, how are you feeling now?  _

_ How did this happen? Dumbledore did not specify the exact reason in his letter, and Severus doesn’t want to seem to tell us either. What happened, Draco? Who did this to you? _

_ We hope you’re doing well now, and are being well taken care of by Poppy. I’ve spoken to her myself, to make sure she gives you her utmost attention. The hospital wing isn’t fun, but please, cooperate until Poppy says you are free to go. She told me you should be good to go in a week or so, so please, bear with this until then. _

_ Don’t worry about anything, Draco. He has not heard about this incident. Your father and I are completely fine. You mustn’t worry about anything, he does not know. Just keep trying, love, we believe in you. Take Severus’s help, Draco. Please. He only wishes the best for you. Take his help. You need to, _

_ If you need anything, let us know, we’ll send it by owl right away. Don’t worry about anything, Draco. Your father and I are completely fine. Please stay safe, Draco. _

_ Love, _

_ Mother. _

He saw the pain hidden in her words, as he held the letter close to his heart. He knew his mother had a habit of repeating things when she was lying...she’d said her and his father were okay twice.

She did this every time, but he knew the reality. He  _ knew  _ they weren’t okay. He  _ knew  _ what he did to them, and what he made them do. And it was all because of him. 

Him. Him. Him.

His stupidity, his shortcomings, his failure.

He let the letter aside, making sure it was put away safely. He would put it in his trunk when he returned to his dormitory. Until then, he’d have to make sure no one saw it.

Moving back to lie down, he allowed his eyes to shut, just for a second, allowing himself a moment to himself. It was meant to be for just a moment, but even he didn’t realize when sleep took him, sending him to a completely different world.

* * *

  
  


“Can you stop eating like that? Have you  _ any  _ manners at all?”

“I’m sorry, what’s that?” 

Rolling her eyes, she rose out of her seat, and moved to leave, pushing her plate forward.

“I have some work I need to get done. I’ll see you guys later.”

“How come for the past five days, you have work to do at this exact moment, every night?” questioned Harry, almost with a knowing look.

She raised her eyebrows at him, as Ron took notice of the interaction, and looked at them confusingly.

“What—”

“I have to go. I’ll see you later.” she replied, with a sly smile to Harry, before quickly running off.

She made her way out of the Great Hall, on her way to the hospital wing. She was a bit late, but she would still be able to spend twenty minutes with him, before curfew.

After just a quick walk upstairs, she found the door, and slowly entered, making sure she wasn’t seen. Draco was the only overnight patient, which made it easier for her to sneak in. She just had to make sure Madame Pomfrey didn’t see her. 

Tiptoeing to Draco’s bed, which was surrounded by a blue curtain, she slowly entered, making sure not to make a single sound, before quickly casting the muffliato charm after entering. She didn’t like the spell, but sometimes it was...helpful.

As she slowly turned her head, to her surprise, she found Draco asleep, deep in a world of slumber. She knew she should have left right away, but something pulled her to take a seat, and be with him for just a few minutes, before leaving. 

She watched his chest rise in fall, as he lay there peacefully, his hands on his chest, his head resting on the pillow. She sat there for a few minutes, simply admiring his beauty, thankful that he was okay. That he made it through. That she got there in time. 

Merlin, if she hadn’t, who knows…

All of a sudden, she saw him begin to shift in his sleep, moving around a bit. His forehead creased, as his palms fisted. She could hear his breathings get louder, and the heaves of his chest get heavier. 

“Please…”

“Draco…”

Beads of sweat formed on his head, as his breathing quickened, almost as if his lungs had begun to fail. The sweat on his forehead caused his icy blonde hair to stick to his face, as he continued to shift around aggressively.

“I can’t…”

“Draco.” she called, moving closer to him, trying to wake him.

“Please, I beg you...no...NO!”

With a bang, he woke, his chest rising and falling aggressively, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Draco!” she jumped up, moving closer to him. She placed her hand on arm, and used her other hand to tilt his chin toward her, and cup his cheek to comfort him. “It’s okay...it’s okay...I’m here,”

The moment his stormy grey eyes met hers, he reached up to cup her face in his, as she continued to coo words of comfort. Almost aggressively, he pulled her to him, grabbing her waist, clawing at her, almost as if he would die, if he let go. He pulled her onto his tiny, one person bed, clutching onto her tiny frame, burying his face in her shoulders. 

She felt another tear roll down the crook of her neck, as she held his head affectionately, running her hands through his hair, peppering kisses along his temple. 

“Draco...I’m here. It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

He didn’t say anything, but continued to hold her as tightly as he could, pulling her close to him, as they sat there in that position for what felt like an eternity. 

“Draco…”

“Stay.”

She was shocked by his request, and had never expected him to say it. He was shaking, and his eyes were red and puffy. 

“Draco I…”

“Please. Don’t go…”

She could hear the desperation in his coarse voice, dropping all of his ego,  _ needing  _ her to be there. Madame Pomfrey could walk in and catch them...but it was a risk she was willing to take. He needed her that night. She wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing she had left him like that.

“Okay.”

Staring into her eyes, for just a moment, Draco leaned in to give her the most delicate kiss on her cheek, before manoeuvring them into a lying position, so that she was pressed up against his chest, and he was holding her, while they faced each other.

She tried to hide her emotion, but she doubted she was fruitful. The pureness of the kiss he’d given her melted her completely, as she lifted her hand up to run her fingers through his hair, as his hand was tightly wrapped around her waist. 

“Go to sleep, Draco. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Nodding, he allowed his eyes to close, as soon, sleep took him once more. This time he was safe, with Hermione’s scent to comfort him. With her body to hold close to him. With her hair to bury his face into.

She didn’t move at all, afraid she would wake him. She couldn’t go to sleep, otherwise Madame Pomfrey could catch them together at any moment. She would stay with him the entire night, but she wouldn’t sleep. He needed her to be there, and she wouldn’t leave him alone. 

Listening to the steady thuds of his heart, she slowly placed her palms on his chest, exhaling deeply. She looked at his sleeping features, allowing herself a smile to herself, watching him sleep so peacefully. Whatever he had seen in the dream had shaken him. And she had a feeling it was something he was used to seeing. Catching herself staring, he looked away, directing her eyes to the curtains. 

Merlin, she didn’t know how this would end, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t end well. 

But there was no point in looking into the future, when the present was so unsafe.

* * *

  
  


As the early morning rays of sunshine peaked through his curtain, he shifted awake, rubbing his eyes. He had a dream last night…

It was them again. It was the same girl. He watched as they tortured her, and just as they were about to finish her off...Gryffindor’s princess had come. He remembered her holding him, telling him he was okay. It was a shame he didn’t get dreams like that more often. Funny, because he swore there was a slightly feminine scent to his bedsheets…

Just as he moved over, he found a note under his blanket, scrawled in a most beautiful, cursive writing.

_ I left earlier this morning. I didn’t want Madame Pomfrey to see us if she came in. You should be released today, meet me in the library at 8:00 pm.  _

_ —Hermione  _

It hadn’t been a dream…

She had really come last night. She had really held him when he cried, and stayed with him when he slept. She hadn’t left.

Things between him and Granger were really going to a different level. Something between them had just...changed, and he hadn’t even realized it.

He didn’t have a clue of what to do, or what to think. He just hoped that in the end of everything,  _ she  _ wouldn’t get hurt. He’d already caused enough pain to too many people. 

But Draco was selfish. He really was. He simply  _ couldn’t  _ push Granger away from him. Not anymore.

* * *

  
  


She slowly made her way to the Great Hall, after quickly returning to her dorm to get her things, and freshen up. She knew Harry would make a comment, so she prepared herself for an inevitable conversation. As she made her way to the Gryffindor table, she found Harry sitting alone, with Ron nowhere to be seen. Ginny was speaking to Luna a few feet away, while Harry ate his cereal alone. She quickly joined him, giving him a bright smile, sitting down to his right.

“Hermione Granger.”

“Harry Potter.”

“So…”

“So…”

He raised his eyebrows, with a smirk gracing his features. She shook her head, as she reached for a piece of toast. 

“You didn’t come back last night.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I see you’re quite serious about this bloke. Breaking the rules and all…”

She playfully slapped him on his arm, as he dramatically rubbed the spot she had hit him, 

“Hermione...in all seriousness...you said you had no idea if he liked you back. Is it still the same, or have things changed now? Because if this bloke still doesn’t—”

“Harry—”

“I’m serious, Hermione. You seem to really like this bloke, and I trust your judgement. However, if you still don’t know if he likes you back, I don’t know if you should still pursue this.”

She didn’t reply, and instead chose to grab a jar of orange marmalade, and start spreading onto her toast. She almost zoned out, before Harry spoke once more.

“Hermione. Does he like you back?”

“I…”

Flashbacks of the previous night had flood her mind, as she remembered the way he had pulled her to him, clutching onto her like a lifeline, before giving her the most delicate kiss on her cheek.

“Does he like you back, Hermione?”

She opened her eyes, and finally found her voice, before turning to face her friend.

“Yes, Harry. He does.”

* * *

  
  


“I’m sorry mate, I didn’t get to visit often, I got caught up with other things.”

“You always seem to be caught up with other things lately. What’s going on?”

“Oh, you know. The usual. Homework, assignments, exams.”

“Since when have you become so serious about your studies?”

“Since I got a reason.”

“Since you—”

“Don’t look into it much.”

* * *

  
  


As she was about to make her way down to the Great Hall, she scanned the Gryffindor common room searching for one of her two best friends. She hoped the other one wouldn’t be around, she needed to speak to one alone. 

Finally spotting a mop of jet black hair in the middle of the crowd, making his way downstairs alone, she rushed to his side, eager to pull him away. As she approached him, he flashed her a smile, as they both exited the common room together, Hermione a lot more nervous than she was just moments ago.

“You seem fidgety. What’s wrong?”

“Harry...I need to tell you something. Or ask you something.”

“You want to tell me something or ask me something?”

“I want to ask you something. It’s sort of a request…”

“You aren’t tricking me into reading about the Great Battle of the Trolls in 1722 again are you—”

“Actually, the Great Battle of the Trolls was in 1687–”

“Not the point—”

“You’re right. Not the point. So...I just wanted to ask you…”

“Yes?”

She took a deep breath in, as she stopped fiddling with her thumbs, she tasted blood, as she realized the damage she had caused by chewing on her lip out of nervousness. Taking one last breath, she finally opened her mouth to speak.

_ Here it goes… _

* * *

  
  


“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

As he watched his friend’s retreating figure, he slowly turned in the opposite direction, making his way to the library. A part of him told him not to go, but it was too quiet for him to even hear. He had no control of his body, as his feet walked themself. 

When he got there, he noticed that he was five minutes early, so he proceeded to take a seat near the back of the library, waiting for Granger in an area that would give him privacy. 

Five minutes had gone by, and then it had been six, and on the seventh minute, when he began to question if he had really read the note correctly, she arrived. He almost rose up, but something stopped him in his tracks. 

“Potter.”

“Malfoy.”

If looks could kill, Harry Potter would have been dead. Draco glared daggers at him, as he stood in his spot, evidently struggling to form coherent words.

“Harry.”

“Hermione…”

“You promised.”

“I don’t see why—”

“This will make you feel better. It’s the right thing to do. Please, Harry.”

“Alright, alright.”

Draco watched their entire interaction, in confusion. Why the  _ fuck  _ had she brought Potter…

“Listen, Malfoy. You might not give a shit, but I feel that I need to do this. What I did wasn’t right, and you deserve an apology from me for that. I’m sorry.”

He stood there, stunned, as he saw Granger flash Potter one of the purest smiles he’d seen. He didn’t know how to react. He caught himself slipping just in time, finally able to speak. 

Just as his mouth opened to move, he glanced at Granger. He wished he hadn’t, because he was sure that he wouldn’t have reanalyzed what to say. He saw her give him almost a pleading look, begging him to not make things difficult. He wanted to punch Potter so badly...but it would hurt  _ her _ . 

So, he would refrain from doing that.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” he heard her call out, clearly in surprise.

“Why the fuck are you still here, Potter? I heard you the first time you said it. Now fuck off.”

His words lacked the bite he had intended for them to have, as he watched Potter give him the most confused look, before looking at Granger, who had the goofiest smile on her face, which she was trying so incredibly hard to conceal. When she caught him staring, she jumped back to attention, immediately pushing Potter out of the library, directing him somewhere else. Draco proceeded to sit down, contemplating what had just happened.

_ What the fuck? _

Just moments after they had left, Granger returned, by this time, alone.

“Granger, what the fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play games. That was fucking weird. What just happened?”

“He simply apologized to you, Draco. He did something wrong, and he made a mistake. You deserve an apology.” she added in, before grabbing a random book from the shelf beside her.

He took a moment to watch the loose strands of her coffee coloured curls hang loose past her shoulders, as she ran her fingers through her soft, silky curls, 

“You made him do it.”

“Doesn’t matter who made him do it. He did it, and that’s what matters. Don’t act like you don’t feel better now.”

“Don’t just  _ assume— _ ”

“I don’t have to assume, I  _ know— _ ”

“Of course—”

“Well, do you?  _ Do  _ you feel better after receiving an apology?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it once again, with an audible clap. He simply couldn’t come to speak. He hated it when a triumphant smirk spread across her face, but somehow, her smile was contagious. 

Suddenly, he heard her mumble something incoherently, her smirk still stretched across her lips.

“What did you say?” he questioned.

“Oh, nothing. Just...I won this argument—”

“Oh please—”

“—just how I win every other argument—”

“Don’t flatter yourself—”

“Deny it all you want, Draco.” she said, putting the book away, her lip still curled, “but I won.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhh I know, I know, super late update. I’m sorry guys! Exams are RIGHT NOW and I’m  _ stressing _ . It’s just for this while, after that, I promise for quicker updates!

It’s 12:50 am, and for me, right now, that’s late as fuck. I could have gotten myself an extra thirty ish minutes of sleep, but instead, I finished the chapter. Y’all better thank me. I have to cut this chapter’s author’s notes short, I’m gassed, and I need to  _ go to sleep.  _

Love you guys, 

Sydney.

  
  
  
  



	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Brightness

He flipped through the Daily Prophet his pumpkin juice in his hand, as he read about the death eater activity all over the country. They truly were back. Back to ruin his family, once again. 

Looking up from the paper, he took a risky glance towards the Gryffindor table, where he immediately found Granger, who was animatedly explaining something to Potter and Weasley. 

They’d met up three times since he got discharged from the hospital wing, all three times resulting in a clumsy tumble to the Room of Requirement, and a mess of limbs lazily slung over one another, wrapped in soft, white bed sheets. They simply laid together for long periods of time, talking about what seemed like the most irrelevant things in the world. Still, somehow, those irrelevant things were what made up their everything, inside that small, cozy room.

A picture of them drifted into his mind, as he remembered them laying together under the sheets, Granger sitting between his legs, as he rested his chin on the crook of her neck, and ran his fingers along her abdomen.

_ “Are you sure Granger? How can you know that all of these creatures live underwater?” _

_ “Muggles have researched, and studied the oceans for years. We’ve learnt so much about our waters, yet we have barely discovered anything. The oceans are a whole different world from what we have up here. It’s so fascinating.” _

_ “I thought muggles didn’t have gillyweed, or any spells to help them breathe underwater. How did they see all that?” _

_ “I’ve told you this before, Draco. Although muggles don’t have magic, they have used their brains to cement their position into our planet’s history. They have invented so much useful technology, things you won’t even be able to comprehend, Draco.” _

_ “Have you ever been to the ocean, Granger?” _

_ “Many times. My mum and dad used to take me to the beach every summer. I had so much fun...you know, I’m quite the swimmer.” _

_ “I see you are also quite a modest witch, Granger.” _

_ “Like you’re one to talk.” _

He couldn’t help but smile to himself, as he remembered the way she had giggled, and playfully pushed his shoulder, before melting into him even more. Being with her...it just made him forget everything. Her pure  _ goodness  _ distracted him from all the evil in the world, and allowed him to pretend that nothing in the world existed, other than just the two of them, alone in whichever corner of the castle they took shelter in. 

“Draco.”

He snapped out of his trance, as he immediately turned to his Italian friend, sitting to his left. 

“Yeah?”

Blaise was evidently nervous, seemingly unable to form words, as he fidgeted in his seat, not making any eye contact. 

“What the fuck are you—”

“I’m going back home on Friday. Mum wants me to meet her new husband. And...I think I should see her this year.”

“You’re actually going this year?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“What do you mean wow?”

“You never go. You see...I don’t know how to put this—”

“I know mate, my relationship with my mum is shit. She’s never seemed to care about anything other than finding new husbands, and I’ve never made an extra effort.”

“So how come this year you’re going?”

“I don’t know...I think it’s just time I move past everything. At the end of the day, she’s my mother, and I’m her son. Regardless of whatever has happened, I think I am a hugely to blame for our…not so great relationship.”

“Damn.”

“What?”

“When did you get so mature?”

“Oh I don’t know...maybe since you started sticking around less often. Bad influences can turn the best of children into cheeky rebels.” 

* * *

  
  


“No Neville, the wand is held at a 30 degree angle, not straight at the opponent.”

“Wait, wait, Hermione, can you say that again? I need to write this down…”

She rolled her eyes, but a barely there smile tugged on her lips, as she walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts with her friends.

“You know,” called Ron, from her left, “I haven’t seen Luna much lately. Do you think she’s doing alright?”

“I’m sure she’s fine, Ron. She must be busy looking for some sort of imaginary bug.”

They finally made it to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, where Snape was already waiting for them at his desk. The group made their way to their regular table, before they heard a sharp, piercing voice.

“No, Potter. How about we do something different today? Weasley, sit with Boot at the table in the front. Longbottom, sit with Macmillan. Potter, Granger...the both of you may take a seat with Draco and Blaise.”

She looked to her right to see Harry’s eyebrows shoot up to the sky, as she saw his fists immediately clench

“Don’t make a scene.”

“He did this on purpose. That bloody bastard...”

“Harry…”

“He put us with Malfoy because he knows Malfoy will try to fuck my head up. And then he gets an easy opportunity to give me detention.”

“And don’t give him that opportunity to give you detention. Just ignore them. It’s just a table.”

She took the risk to glance at Draco, who’s eyes immediately looked away the moment they’d come into contact with hers. They made their way to the table, and wordlessly took a seat, Hermione beside Draco, and Harry beside Blaise. No one dared speak, as an awkward silence ghosted over them.

Many moments had passed, with not one of them speaking, before finally, it was Draco who broke the silence.

“So, Potter.”

_ Please, no.  _

She immediately kicked him under the table, perhaps harder than she had intended, but continued to look forward like nothing had happened.

“What the fuck—”

“What the fuck are you even talking about Malfoy—”

“Harry, please. Please.”

She had said Harry’s name, but her words were intended for someone else. Under the table, she reached to grab Draco’s hand, and began to brush her thumb across his knuckles. They were rigid and stiff at first, but soon, they’d melted into her touch. She made eye contact with him for a tenth of a second, before immediately looking away once more, afraid everyone would find out about what was happening under the table.

She almost laughed at the thought. Her and Draco Malfoy, holding hands under the table. Just a few months ago, she would have slapped anyone if they had told her she’d be doing something like this. 

When she saw Snape approach them, she reluctantly let go of his hand, and immediately felt a loss of warmth, as the remainders of his touch barely buzzed on her skin. 

“Today we will be learning about advanced shield charms. For this, I will need two students to volunteer...no, Ms. Granger, not you. How about Potter and Mr. Malfoy?”

“ _ Holy fucking _ —”

“ _ Harry _ .” She hissed, as he swore under his breath. He made eye contact with her, and nodded. 

She turned to look at Draco, who had a set jaw, and refused to look at her. She needed to make eye contact with him just once, simply to relay her message to him. She trusted that Harry wouldn’t do anything out of place, and hoped Draco wouldn’t either. 

“Duelists, position yourselves across each other. Bow, and then commence the duel.”

She watched as they obeyed Snape’s orders, and slowly rose from their bows. Almost immediately, Harry had struck, but Draco was ready for it. He casted a nonverbal shielding charm, dissolving the spell in its tracks. Soon, colours were bursting out of their wands, as they dueled, both wizards fierce and determined, with their jaws set, and beads of sweat trickling down their foreheads. The entire class watched in silence, as they glued their eyes onto the two perseverant wizards in front of them, not looking away for even a second. 

Just as Draco cast one more spell, Harry’s shield was up and ready. However this time, he used a deflecting shield, causing the spell to bounce off and go in another direction. Before she could move, she spell hit Hermione right in the shoulder, scorching her robes, and an almost immediate burning sensation spreading across her arm. She turned to see a huge hole on her sleeve, with a medium sized burn on her shoulder. She could feel the entire class’s eyes on her, as she tried to cover her arm with her hand. 

“Hermione!” called Harry.

“I’m okay. It’s just a burn.”

“Miss Granger, it seems as though you need to take a trip to the hospital wing.”

“I’ll go with her.” called Ron.

Snape took a few moments to answer, but finally opened his mouth, seemingly conflictingly. 

“Very well. Go along Weasley, Miss Granger. As for the rest of you, partner up and practise amongst yourselves. Potter, with Longbottom, and Malfoy, with Boot.” He added.

She left the classroom with Ron, but craned her neck just as she left, to get a quick glance at Draco. All she saw was a wisp of blonde hair, before she had exited the classroom.

* * *

  
  


“I mean, what  _ was _ he fucking thinking? Putting you with Potter?”

“He’s done it before. Second year.”

“You know, at this point, I think he’s just doing this for entertainment.”

He nodded, as he quickly finished his dinner eager to find Granger. He couldn’t speak to her in class, because it would seem odd. He simply had to watch  _ Weasley _ go with her, as he stood there like an idiot, unable to do shit. He had hurt her, and he felt fucking guilty about it. 

“I’m going to go. I’ll see you later.”

“Alright. See you.”

With a quick nod to his friend, he was off, immediately headed to the library, guessing that Granger would most likely be there. He rushed through the halls, almost bumping into a few people, as he finally made it to his destination. 

He immediately went to the back, where Granger would always be, her face usually buried in a book. 

And he was right.

He found her exactly where he thought she would be, her nose buried in a thick book about some sort of ancient runes. Quickly, he made his way to her, making sure no one saw him.

“Granger.”

She slowly looked up, her warm brown eyes moving up to meet his. She pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, as he watched her nibble on her lip ever so gently.

“Draco.”

He advanced, and took a seat right beside her, unsure of what exactly to say. 

“Granger...are you okay?”

“I’m completely fine, Draco. It was just a little burn. Madame Pomfrey healed it in less than a minute.”

“Listen...I just…”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry. It was my fault. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place.”

No matter how hard she tried, she simply  _ couldn’t  _ hide the smile that graced her features in that moment. It was the purest of smiles, as her face simply lit up, as if she embodied an angel. She couldn’t explain with words just how much it meant to her, seeing him sacrifice for  _ that much  _ of his pride, just to come and apologize to her.

It should have been nothing, yet, it was everything. 

She boldly leaned forward, and slowly lifted her hands to run her fingers through his hair, inching closer to him, until her hand slipped down to cup his cheek, and give him a soft kiss. 

When she pulled away, she gave him the biggest smile, causing him to drown in her features even more.

“What was that for?” he questioned.

“Must there be a reason for everything?”

After staring into her eyes for what seemed like forever, Draco leaned back in to give her another kiss, this time entwining his hand in her soft locks, his other hand on her thigh. She deepened the kiss, with bold swipes of her tongue, as Draco pulled her into his lap, never once breaking the kiss. 

Her skirt rode up high on her thighs, as he ran his hands over the creamy length of her legs, his eyes closed, lost in the intoxicating taste of  _ her.  _

It was bloody glorious. 

“Draco…” she said, finally breaking the kiss, slightly out of breath. “Let’s go to the Room of Requirement.”

* * *

  
  


They found themselves wrapped up in blankets once more, as they laid together in their little room, in the Room of Requirement, on the seventh floor.

Hermione rested her head on Draco’s chest, as he had one arm wrapped around her, their feet tangled under the blankets.

“I just realized. Christmas holidays are in a week.” she exclaimed.

“It’s Christmas already…”

“I completely forgot to respond to Mum’s letter. She was asking where I’d be spending Christmas this year.”

“Where do you usually go?” He asked, turning his body to face her, their noses just inches apart.

“Usually I go to the Burrow, and spend Christmas with the Weasleys—”

“You really go to the rat’s nest every year—”

“ _ Draco. _ ”

“Alright, alright.” 

She shook her head, and rolled her eyes at him, and cracking the faintest of smiles, before continuing.

“Harry and I always go with Ron to celebrate with the Weasleys. They’re such a wonderful family, Christmas with them is always so...cozy. It makes me feel so happy, just being there with my best friends.”

“I’m going to assume that’s where you’re going this year as well?”

“Actually, no.”

“Where are you going then?”

“This year...I was planning on going home. Spending Christmas with Mum and Dad. They haven’t seen me in so long...I need to make some time for them. They deserve that from me.”

“Mmmm.” he mumbled.

“What about you? Are you going back to the Manor?”

“The Manor…”

She looked at him questioningly, as he seemed to almost zone out, thinking something in his head. 

“It’s a mere carcass of what it was once before. I have so many memories of that place...Christmas was my favourite holiday growing up. That building was once my home, my childhood. Now it’s simply a dark manor, hidden behind huge metal fences”

She saw him close his eyes, and she knew it was to hide his vulnerability.

“What about your mum and dad?”

“Them...they’re as good as dead. And anyways, I’m staying this year. I can’t go back to the Manor…”

His words were vague, but she understood what he was trying to tell her. She moved forward a bit, allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist. 

“So you’re going to be alone this year for Christmas?

“Pretty much. I don’t mind, it’s pretty much been this way for two years. I’ve gone home the last two years, but I’ve never gotten to really spend Christmas with my parents again. Somehow...I lost everything so quickly. I don’t even realize their absence now.”

“Draco…”

He tried to turn away, but she reached out to slowly brush her thumb against his cheek, dipping his head slightly so their fringes touched. 

“What if I stay?”

“What?”

He immediately looked up to make eye contact with her, his grey ones staring straight into her brown. 

“I could stay here for Christmas. With you.”

“Granger, you don’t have to do that—”

“No, Draco. You can’t be alone—”

“Granger there’s no need—”

“I’m staying.”

He considered pushing her to go a bit more, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want her there with him. Being without her for two weeks...it seemed like a nightmare to him at that point. 

It struck him then, just how much she was doing for him. She had been so eager to spend Christmas with her parents, but changed her plans in the blink of an eye, just so that  _ he  _ would have company. Unlike him, she had a whole life, a life worth living, outside of the four walls of whichever room they shared.  _ She  _ had everything, just if she left his arms. She could do anything, she could be anything. She was Hermione Granger. 

And yet, she chose to stay with him. She chose to leave everything, and push everything to the side, just for him. Nothing would happen to her if she had ghosted him. In fact, she’d be far better off without him in her life. Weasley had shown interest in her, and she had once loved him. She could easily leave behind all this, bury it like it had never existed, and go be  _ happy  _ with Weasley. 

_ He  _ was the stain on her beautiful, white dress.

If she left him, he would be alone, once more. If she stopped seeing him, he would drown back into his pool of darkness. He’d be haunted once more by his demons. She should have been nothing to him, but somehow, she had become everything. 

Slowly, he reached up to push her hair behind her ear, before leaning in to give her a firm kiss.

Pulling apart, he saw her give him the brightest smile, illuminating the entire room, making it seem like the world they lived in was one where Voldemort didn’t exist, and one where he was... _ happy.  _ One where his parents were in love, one where he wasn’t known as a death eaters son. 

She moved closer to him, placing her forehead against his chest, as he tightened his hold on her, slowly running his hands through her hair.

_ When you smile _

_ The whole world stops  _

_ And stares, just for a while _

_ You make everything so much better _

_ You are the light in my darkness. _

* * *

  
  


Finally finding her boyfriend, Ginny made her way to the fireplace, just as she saw her brother get up to go to the restroom. 

“Harry.”

He turned around, and gave her a smile, before pulling her down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. 

“Hey, Ginny.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something. This is a good time, because Ron’s not here.

“What is it?”

“Have you realized that Hermione hasn’t been returning to her dormitory lately? It’s ten thirty right now, and I haven’t seen her since dinner.”

“Oh…”

“Harry, do you know something about this?”

He inhaled deeply, before pursing his lips, contemplating a response.

“Ginny, I really want to tell you, but Hermione is my best friend. I need to respect her trust in me. I know where she is, and she is completely fine, that much I can guarantee you.”

She looked into the fireplace gravely, taking to few minutes to think, before responding.

“Alright. If you say she’s okay, then it’s okay. I trust you, Harry.”

He pulled her into a hug, before giving her a quick kiss on her forehead.

He hoped he really  _ was  _ telling the truth. He hoped that Hermione really was okay. 

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhhh SUPER LATE UPDATE. Exams are still going on, but it’s just a few more days, and I’ll be done! I finally got this chapter done, thank goodness. I just rewatched Titanic a few days ago, and I am ACHING again. It just hurts me guys. Sometimes, I lay in bed at night, thinking about Titanic, and cry to myself. 

Holyshit, cases are skyrocketing here. People seem to have gotten so  _ lenient  _ in regards to COVID restrictions. C'mon guys, let’s continue to social distance! Wear masks! Follow the rules! It’s really not hard. 

I know this is VERY late, but thank you to all the Americans for going out and voting! Y’all did it right, this time around. Democracy is such a beautiful thing.

Keep reviewing guys, I love to see them. They just make me so happy.

Stay safe, 

Sydney.

  
  
  
  



	30. Chapter 30

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 30: Beauty

Finally, she finished writing her letter to her parents, informing them that she would be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. 

She hated lying to her mum and dad. It made her feel like shit. She had told them that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would be gone to Ireland, so Ron and Harry would be staying back, and that she wanted to stay back with them. Anything else would have sounded odd, and she didn’t want them worrying.

She knew they would be disappointed, as they had been as eager to see her as she had been to see them. Christmas this year was supposed to be special...it was supposed to be how it always was before. Just her, her mum, and her dad.

Hearing Draco’s words broke her. She knew he longed to be with his parents, but evidently, that wasn’t an option. She wouldn’t be able to go home, knowing he was here alone. 

She needed to tell Harry she would be staying back. He was the only one who would understand. She had no idea what she would say to Ron, but didn’t want to think of that confrontation at that moment. 

“Hello, Hermione.”

She turned around immediately, hearing an airy voice call from behind her. She knew who it was immediately. She could recognize the voice from miles away.

“Luna. Hello...how are you doing?”

“I’m doing well, thank you for asking. What are your plans for Christmas holidays?”

“Oh…”

She contemplated her answer for a moment, thinking to herself what she should say. If she told Luna the truth, it would seem odd, seeing as Harry and Ron were going to the Burrow, but she couldn’t lie either…

“I’ll be staying back this year.”

“Harry and Ron are going to the Burrow, right?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” she hummed.

Hermione didn’t know what to think of her reaction, of maybe her lack thereof, but decided to ignore it. Sometimes, when talking to Luna, it was good to glide by certain things.

“What about you? Where are you going?”

“I’m going home to spend Christmas with Daddy. It’s good to give time to the people we love, especially during the holiday season. Make sure they know how grateful we are to have them with us, and simply thank them for just being there.”

She couldn’t do or say anything but smile nervously back at her friend. Sometimes, she felt that everything Luna said was some sort of riddle, but other times, she made absolutely no sense. Once again, convincing herself to look past it, she wished her friend happy holidays, and made her way to the Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

  
  


“Since I’ll be gone tomorrow, I’ll be mailing you your present on Christmas Day. I’m not sure what to get you, but I think I’ll be able to manage by then.”

“You really don’t need to go through that trouble, Blaise. I don’t need—”

“Fuck that. I’m buying you something, even if it is for familiarity’s sake.” he said, his lips curling.

“Fine. But don’t be disappointed with what you get from me. It’ll be something I pick up from Hogsmeade—”

“Yes, yes, whatever, Mr. Malfoy.”

He shook his head at his friend, before moving to grab a sweater from his trunk. His hands searched until he felt a soft fabric under his fingertips, finally pulling out a black, v-necked sweater. He shrugged it over his white shirt, and made his way back to his bed.

“It’s the 18th, and I still have absolutely none of my presents ready. I have no fucking idea what to get either—”

“How many people do you even have to shop for? It’s always just your mum, me and a few others.”

“Ah, yes...but this year I have a few extra people on my list.”

“Such as?”

“Well, my mother’s new husband for starters.”

His eyebrows shot up, and he bit the inside of his cheek. Buying a present for his step dad...Blaise had never done that before.

“Wow.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

“I mean, it did come as a shock.”

“Like I said, influence matters—”

“Bullshit.”

He laughed, before leaning down to allow his elbows to rest on his knees. Suddenly, Blaise started speaking again.

“You know, her new husband is a half blood. All of her other husbands have been pureblood. She’s always married rich, pureblood wizards. This one is middle class, and half blood.”

Draco didn’t know how to respond, but became caught up in his own train of thoughts. Blaise’s mother married a half blood...it seemed like the most unlikely thing he had ever heard.

But then again, he wasn’t one to talk.

“Like I said, I need to give her that chance. I need to give _myself_ that chance. It only makes sense to start with Christmas.”

He mumbled something incoherently, before looking back to the fireplace in their room, the green flames cackling nearby.

“What about you? You're sending presents to your mum and dad, right?”

“I…I think so. I hope I can…”

“Whatever you’re buying me, make sure it’s bloody expensive—”

“You’ll never change—”

“That I won’t,” he chuckled, “who else will be receiving a present from your highness, Lord Draco Malfoy?”

“The usual. My parents and you. And…”

“Hm?”

“Nothing. Just my parents and you.”

“Are you sure there’s no one else?”

“What the fuck are you implying?”

“C’mon mate, I know there’s something you’re hiding.” he said, with a devilish smirk.

Draco’s heart began to race, as he cocked an eyebrow up at his companion. How the _fuck_ did he find out…

Did he see him and Granger together in a hall? Did he see them outside of the Room of Requirement? Did he see them in the Astronomy Tower? Or Hagrid’s garden, or outside of the Great Hall, or in the library, or any secluded corner of the castle? Every place seemed to bring back a memory of him and Granger…

“Don’t tell me nothing is going on between you and Astoria.”

“What?”

“Draco, you can tell me. Although I already have my guesses—”

“What? Astoria Greengrass?”

“How many Astorias do you know?”

“Daphne Greengrass’s sister?”

“Yes. You also took her to the Hallowe’en ball. I’m quite surprised from your reaction, it seems as though I was mistaken with my assumptions.”

“Why would you even think something _was_ happening?”

“She implied it a few times. I don’t know, maybe it was just my interpretation of it. You’re sure nothing is—”

“Yes I’m fucking sure.”

“Alright then. I’ll let you off the hook for now, although I think that you’re lying.”

* * *

  
  


She nibbled on her bottom lip out of nervousness, twiddling her thumbs together, as she fruitlessly tried to tell Harry about her plans for Christmas.

“Okay, what is it? You’ve been doing that for fifteen minutes, what do you want to tell me?”

“How’d you know?”

“I’ve known you for six years, Hermione. I think I can pick up when you’re nervous. Not to mention that you’re very obvious as well—”

“I am not—”

“Yes, yes, of course. Now, tell me, what’s going on?”

“Harry...I just wanted to tell you…”

“Yes?”

“I’m staying at Hogwarts for Christmas.”

“What? Weren’t you going home to be with your mum and dad?”

“Yeah...that’s not happening anymore.”

“Well then, come with us to the Burrow. If your parents aren’t going to be home—”

“Harry, they’ll be home.”

“So then...why are you staying here?”

“You know...you know my…”

“Oh my gosh, Hermione—is it because of that guy?”

She realized that she’d bitten down on her lip a little too hard, and tasted iron. She pursed her lips, and felt a rush of blood run over her tongue, as she failed to form words.

“I...yes.”

She snuck a glance at her companion, whose expression immediately turned grave, as he stared into the fireplace, deep in his own thoughts. His eyebrows furrowed, as he seemed to be thinking something to himself.

“Hermione, it seems to me as though your relationship with this bloke has gotten...quite serious. You obviously care about him enough to stay back.”

“I do.”

“Well, this certainly narrows it down for me a bit. Is it Justin—”

“Harry.”

“If it’s Justin, you really don’t have anything to hide. I like him, he’s a nice bloke. It could be Dean...I suppose he’s okay, although Ginny says he was a nightmare—”

“Harry, please.”

“Alright, alright. I’m just letting you know that between Justin, Dean, Ernie, Neville, and Terry, I don’t mind any of them, and I’m sure Ron will understand as well. These are the only people that could possibly be it, the Slytherins don’t make any sense.” he said to himself.

Hermione cringed at his words, retreating in her seat ever so slightly, afraid that being too close would reveal all her secrets. 

“And Hermione...one more thing. Do you love him?”

“What?”

“Do you love him?”

She jumped back at his words, never expecting them to come out of his mouth. She didn’t know how to respond, as her bottom lip immediately slipped between her teeth. Finally, she decided that this time, telling the truth would be safe.

“I don’t know. I have no idea what I’m feeling, or what I’m doing, or where this is going. I have no clue. And it’s pissing me off.”

“But…”

“But...somehow, there’s something there, I know it. I _feel_ it. It’s so beautiful, in such a crushing way. It makes me all warm, and forget about everything else that even exists, but then the moment I’m exposed to reality, everything comes crashing down. Still, Harry, there’s something there. And _that_ is what pulls me to him. It’s what keeps me glued on.”

“Hermione, why on earth do you like this bloke? This seems so complicated, and I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re my best friend.”

She almost melted into her chair, before an image of her and Draco laughing together in the library flooded her mind. Somehow, what she said next just came out, and even she couldn’t stop it.

“Harry...do you remember, at the beginning of the year? When I was absolutely obsessed with Ron, and he started dating Lavender? Everything seemed so dull back then…I was drowning in an endless pool, and I couldn’t swim up, no matter how hard I tried.”

“Yeah.”

“Harry... _he_ was the one that saved me from drowning in that pool. He offered me a hand, even though _he_ didn’t know it, and pulled me out. He taught me to smile again, Harry, even if it is for just a few moments. He doesn’t even know he does it, but somehow...he makes everything better.”

“I see.”

They shared a few comfortable moments of silence, in which they simply took in one another’s words, and gave themselves a few undisturbed moments to themselves, just to think everything out.

“Listen, Hermione, I’m no relationship expert, but it seems to me that whatever is going on between you and...this guy, it’s serious. I’m not going to stop you from doing anything, I just want to tell you do stay safe. You’re the brightest witch of your age Hermione, remember that. Don’t end up hurting yourself.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” she replied, with a smile. 

However, for some reason, she _knew_ she probably would. 

This would probably all end badly, but she refused to let go of the few feeble strings of hope she was swinging on.

She was Hermione Granger, and she didn’t let go. 

Ever.

* * *

  
  


“All packed?”

“Yup. I’ll see you in January, then. Don’t get too lonely.”

“Sure.”

“And Draco...don’t do anything stupid. Try not to be a dumbass for a few weeks.”

“I think _you_ need to restrain yourself from saying anything idiotic.”

“That I do.”

* * *

  
  


“Just tell him you didn’t want Neville to get lonely.”

“Harry, are you sure this will work? What if we just...tell him—”

“No, no. Not yet. It’s Christmas. Not now. It’ll be fine, trust me.”

“Alright. Also...I just wanted to ask you for one favour.”

“Of course. Go ahead, what is it?”

* * *

  
  


She waved goodbye to her friends, as she watched them leave the castle, on their way to the Hogwarts Express. Ron seemed to believe her explanation as to why she stayed back, but Ginny seemed a bit suspicious. Regardless of her questionable glances, she has been distracted by all the Christmas decorations, and had gotten caught up in a conversation with Luna.

She made her way to the Great Hall, eager to see this year’s decorations. As she walked through the halls, she noticed wreaths all around the castle, with little bits of snow falling down, before disappearing right above her head. She saw mistletoe scattered around different doorways, and noticed a pair of students kissing at a hallway turn. Usually, she would have said something, but she left it. Everyone needed the involuntary rush of joy that the holidays brought. 

When she walked through the gates to the Great Hall, she immediately stopped in her tracks, as her breath was taken away by what she saw.

Many columns of little silver and sparkly green evergreen trees, decorated with beautiful, ruby red ornaments lit up the room. However, the centrepiece of it all was the giant, thirty foot Christmas tree, right in the centre of the Great Hall. It was wrapped up with dazzling silver bows, and lights that flashed gold and red. Little golden chains hung down throughout the length of the tree, alongside gold and silver ornaments. To top everything off, right on the top of the tree, was a shiny gold star, sparkling down on the Great Hall. 

“Flitwick really outdid himself this year.”

She jumped up from the sudden sound, but turned to find a pair of warm, gray eyes, which somehow seemed to reflect gold, from all the flashiness in the room. 

“It’s beautiful.” she sighed.

He mumbled something incoherently, but she heard something along the lines of “I guess.”

The Hall was absolutely empty, with the exception of a few first years playing a game of exploding snap on the other side.

“My family does that as well.”

“Does what?”

“The gold star on top. My mother always said it brought luck. It was all bullshit, otherwise I wouldn’t be in this position right now. But it was still somehow...nice. Just having the star there.”

She nodded her head, as she watched a pair of ghosts fly by, giggling about something to themselves. Classes ended yesterday, so most of the students were resting in their dormitories, or were outside in the snow. 

“Do you miss your parents?”

His voice caused her to turn around, before turning back to the grand tree, admiring its beauty, as images of her and her parents began to flash in her head.

“So much.”

He inhaled deeply, as he was unsure of what to say. With his hands in his pant pockets, he turned to gaze at the tree as well, his eyes moving to the golden star on top.

“You know, every year on Christmas, my dad would dance with me. Even if I was with the Weasleys, he always made sure to come over, just for our dance. He’d bring his old stereo, and play _Let it Snow_ , while we danced outside, under the snow. Our toes would get cold, and our faces would turn red, but it would always be the highlight of my year. Just Dad and I…”

She trailed off, realizing she had begun to ramble. 

“A stereo?”

She laughed at his confusion, and turned to look at his face, strands of his blond hair framing his face, his black turtleneck covering his neck.

“A stereo is something muggles use to play music.”

“And—”

“And before you ask, _Let it Snow_ is a muggle Christmas song. It was actually my favourite Christmas song growing up.”

She saw him softly nod his head, taking in her words. She heard a couple of Third Years zoom into the Great Hall, clutching papers.

“Hogsmeade visit tomorrow! We can buy all our presents!”

She watched as the Third Years joined the First Years on the other side of the Hall. They looked like they were their elder siblings. She watched as they passed the the papers to their younger companions, as an idea popped into her head.

“Draco, I was wondering…”

“Hm?”

“We could go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow. Do our shopping together.”

“Granger, I don’t know if you’re forgetting that many of the people we know are still here. I don’t think they would choose to ignore you and I shopping together in Hogsmeade.”

“We can use Harry’s invisibility cloak. I asked him to leave it behind with me, I had a feeling I could use it.”

“Invisibility cloak?”

“Harry has an invisibility cloak. It used to belong to his dad.”

“Of course. Why am I fucking surprised?”

She shook her head, laughing. 

“So...will you come?”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Granger?”

“I don’t know. Depends on your preference.”

She saw him crack a smile, which was rare for him. It warmed her insides, and as her own lips began to curl.

“Alright Granger. I’ll go.”

* * *

  
  


He pulled the covers up, and made sure to wrap them tightly around himself and Granger, before flinging a lazy arm around her waist.

“I would ask you what you want for Christmas, but I want it to be a surprise.”

“Granger, you really don’t have to get me anything.”

“I know I don’t, and that’s why I want to. It needs to be special. I’m sure you’d be able to afford anything I buy you—”

“That is very true—”

“Twat.”

* * *

  
  


When he awoke, he felt an odd emptiness beside him on the bed. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to see that Granger wasn’t there beside him. She always stayed until he was awake. Usually, they would have some kind of witty conversation to start the morning, one that left him absolutely exhausted, yet somehow in a good mood. 

Not seeing Granger in the morning had him worried. Where could she be? Why would she have to leave so early in the morning? 

Just as he moved to get up, Granger walked through the door, and into their room. She was wearing a jumper, and her nose was red, evidently from the cold. Before he could stop himself, his feet carried him out of the bed, and directed him to where she was standing. He gently grabbed her shoulders to steady her, immediately getting her attention.

“Granger, where were you?”

“Woah, Draco, calm down.”

“Where the fuck did you go so early in the morning?”

“If you look at the clock, you might realize that it’s not so early.”

Turning to the clock beside the bed, he realized that it was eleven already. He had slept in.

“That still doesn’t explain where you were.”

“McGonagall needed my help with setting up some things outside for the Hogsmeade visit. I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you last night.”

His grip on her shoulders slackened, before he quickly leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. Moving back towards the bed, he grabbed his shirt, and slipped it on.

“Get ready, Draco. We’ll head down soon.”

* * *

  
  


They walked down together, tripping in the snow, laughing at one another as they fumbled their steps.

“Are you sure you don’t want a hand, Granger?”

“Positive. I don’t need help, but it looks like _you_ do.”

“Bullshit. I’m doing just fine.”

Just then, Draco tripped over a certain large piece of snow, and fell to the ground, straight on his face. Hermione burst into a fit of laughter, unable to contain herself, as she watched Draco turn over.

“Very funny.”

When she moved to walk by him, he stuck his leg out, causing her to fall right on top of him. 

“Laugh now, Miss Granger.”

“At least I didn’t trip on my own and fall on my face.”

Grabbing her by the waist, he flipped them over, getting on top of her, closing her in with his arms on both sides. She burst into a fit of giggles, grinning the widest smile, placing her hands on his chest.

He noticed that the snow in her hair made her somehow even more strikingly beautiful, with her smile radiating light for miles. He couldn’t help but grin himself, as they found themselves laying in the snow, together on the Hogwarts grounds. Seeing her like that, he wanted to lean down to kiss her right then. She looked so inviting. Snow in her hair, rosy blush on her cheeks. But before he could do anything, she pushed him off, and moved to get up.

“I’m going to put on the invisibility cloak now.”

“Why can’t I put on the invisibility cloak?”

“It’s Harry’s. I don’t think he would be too keen on you using it without his permission.”

He laughed, as he watched her pull out an odd looking piece of fabric from her bag. She waved it over her head, and then suddenly, she was gone.

“...Granger?”

“I’m right here.”

He jumped, as her head bobbed to his right.

“Stop that, it’s fucking creeping me out.”

“Get used to it, Mister Malfoy. Shall we go?”

“I suppose, Miss Granger.”

* * *

  
  


“It’s a shame Neville’s grandmother couldn’t be home this year. Hermione was really nice for staying back.”

“Yes, Ron, she was.”

“Hermione’s so sweet, isn’t she?”

The dark haired wizard sighed, before turning to look at his friend, his face full of concern, but only finding his dazed blue eyes.

“Yes, she is.”

* * *

  
  


It took him a while to get used to walking with Granger with an invisibility cloak. As he browsed shelves, he would suddenly jolt up at the sound of her whispering something into his ear, or breathing on his neck. He could tell she was having the time of her life, never getting a better opportunity to tease him. 

She would occasionally come out, and pick out her items, before she disappeared once more, walking around him, until he was done. 

She purchased some books, sweets, and stationery supplies. He, although he’d never admit it, glanced at her every two minutes to see what she was buying, trying to see if he could identify his gift. 

Once they had finished with their purchases, they left the busy stores, and headed down the town to a more secluded area, with less busy stores. Hermione finally took off her cloak, her hair a bit disheveled from being under it for so long.

“I’ve never seen these stores before.” he exclaimed.

“I have. Harry, Ron, and I used to come to this side of the town very often. Sometimes, we needed privacy. This place surely provided it.”

“I’m not familiar with these stores...although I have heard of the Hog’s Head.”

“Of course,” she laughed, “the Hog’s Head brings back so many memories.”

“Such as?”

“That is a _very_ long story, one I will surely tell you another day.”

“What about Oberon’s?”

“I’ve never been there, although I’ve heard from Mr. Weasley that they sell muggle items. Enough of the stores, come with me.”

“Where?”

“Just come.”

“You aren’t planning on murdering me Granger, are you?”

“Even if I do, you can keep you wand out for precaution.”

He laughed, as he picked up his pace to catch up with her. She crossed a big bunch of trees, and he couldn’t see her anymore. It was impossible to see anything behind those trees. 

“Granger,” he called, “where the fuck are you…”

Just as he made his way to the other side of the shrubs, his jaw seemed to drop to the floor, as he beheld the sight in front of him. 

There were beautiful mountains all around them, with tall evergreens looming above them. There were many small ponds around them, in which many frozen aquatic plants could be viewed through the ice. Small animals ran through the blanket white snow, as he advanced, and made his way to stand in front of Granger.

Somehow, even in the presence of such beauty, the most beautiful thing in his field of vision was _her._

Her hair disheveled, a rosy tint gracing her cheeks, covered in snow, as her eyes shined in the light. 

And when she smiled at him, he couldn’t help but resist the urge to lean down and claim her lips once more.

Their kiss was slow and passionate, as they both savoured the moment they were in. Everything seemed so imaginary, he couldn’t believe any of it was real. 

Being with her there, in that place, and in that moment, he realized exactly what _he_ would get her for Christmas. Like her, he also needed his gift to her to be special. No one on this planet deserved it more than her. 

“Granger?”

“Hm?” she hummed.

“When we go back, you go get us some butterbeers, I need to make a quick stop somewhere. I forgot one last thing.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhhh!!! Finally done the chapter!!! And you know what’s also done? EXAMS!! I’m done with that shit. At least for now. So, at the moment, life is good. This means you guys will be getting more consistent updates!

I hope this chapter wasn’t too dialoguey. I feel like the conversations in this chapter were very important, so I just didn’t have the heart to reword them as anything else. 

_Can you guys believe it?_ This fic is being translated!! I was absolutely overwhelmed when **Tessa Pevansie** reached out to me, and offered to translate this fic into Russian. I am just so grateful for everyone’s support, this is crazy, ahhhh!!! To check out the translated version, for anyone who speaks or reads Russian, it is up on ficbook.net, under Tessa Pevansie’s profile. 

It’s 2:18 am right now, and I’m about to pass out. I just _needed_ to get this chapter done, so that’s finally out of the way. I can’t wait to write the next chapter. 

Once again, review and comment. They make my day. Really.

Love you guys,

Sydney.


	31. Chapter 31

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

  
  


Chapter 31: Red

Shifting in her sleep, her eyes finally flickered open, as she found herself in a tangle of limbs. 

She had gotten used to waking up in Draco’s arms, falling asleep with him every night since everyone had gone home for Christmas Holidays. Their fireplace flickered in the distance, sending a gush of hot air towards her, caressing her face. When she turned to look at the clock, she realized it was already seven. 

“Draco.” she called.

“Granger…”

“Draco, wake up.”

“Bugger off...let me sleep.”

“It’s Christmas morning.”

Finally, with a sigh, he opened his eyes, turning to face her, shifting the blankets slightly. 

“I need to go to the owlery. I’m going to be writing a letter to my parents. After that, I’ll be heading to Gryffindor Tower to collect my presents. I’ll bring them here, and then we can open presents together.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Definitely. We must ensure the holiday spirit is present.”

“Of course. Before you go, I was wondering if there was any room to squeeze in a morning—”

“Draco! Will you get your mind out of the gutter?”

“I would, but you seem to like me this way a bit too much. So, tell me, do you want to—”

“Oh, alright. Come here.” she beckoned.

With a smile on his face, he moved closer, his face hovering over hers. 

“I knew you wouldn’t say no.”

* * *

  
  


Making her way out of the Gryffindor common room, she ran into Neville outside, fumbling her presents, spilling them onto the floor.

“Oh, Hermione, I’m so sorry! I’ll help you pick these up...Happy Christmas by the way.”

“It’s alright Neville,” she said, bending down to pick up her presents, “Happy Christmas.”

“So...where are you headed?” he asked.

The question caught her off guard, but she came up with a response.

“I’m going to meet some friends on the other side of the castle. Talking about where I’m going, where are you headed, Neville? I heard Hannah stayed back…”

“What? How’d you...how’d you know?”

She smiled at him, as she laughed at his confusion.

“You’re quite obvious, Neville. Ginny and I have known this for months.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“Well then…”

“You can tell us, you know. There’s nothing wrong with dating Hannah, Neville. She’s a very sweet girl.”

“I know...it’s just that it’s quite intimidating, you know?”

“I’m sure it is, but that doesn’t mean you will stay stuck in a shell for the rest of your life, will you? When everyone comes back, I suggest you tell them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Leaning in to give her a hug, Neville wished her Happy Christmas one last time, before scurrying off, heading towards the kitchens.

She smiled to herself one last time, before finally heading back to the Room of Requirement.

* * *

  
  


Sitting on the couch near the fireplace, he waited for Granger to return, as he played with the fabric on his sweater. He would never admit that he was nervous, but the fear of everything not working out constantly gnawed at him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, an over enthusiastic Granger walked through the door, a tall pile of presents in her arms.

“Okay, I’m here!” she exclaimed, placing her presents down on the ground, and taking a seat on the carpet.

“I can see that.” he said, with an almost amused expression. 

“I guess...we could start opening them?”

Draco nodded, as he selected a random present from his bunch, and began to take off the packaging. 

The first present was a beautiful silver watch, crystals on the edges, its hands moving elegantly. It almost shined red from the flames in the fireplace, as he ran his fingers over the band. It came with a note, which read:

_ Happy Christmas, Draco. Love, your mother and father. _

Along with the watch, there was also a package of homemade sweets, which included pastries, and a variety of biscuits. They were all made by his mother...they were his favourite. 

_ Thank you, mother. Happy Christmas. I love you... _

He read the note again, and immediately could tell that although it said it was from both of his parents, it was only from one. His father couldn’t care less about Christmas, but his mother included his name so that he wouldn’t feel like shit.

It didn’t help much. 

“That’s beautiful, Draco.” Hermione gasped. 

He looked over to her, who was sitting on the carpet, a variety of sweets and sweaters already sprawled in front of her. 

“It’s from my mother.”

“What is she like?”

“My mother?”

“Yes.”

“You care?”

“I do, Draco.”

He looked over at the fireplace, contemplating what to say for a few moments, stringing together words in his head. But suddenly, he realized he didn’t need to  _ think _ about how to describe his mother, because he already knew. 

“She’s amazing. To me, she is the kindest being on this planet. She loves me more than anything else. She would always keep to herself, and never bother another person. Her aura was...tranquilizing. Every time she passed me, even though she was my own mother, a sense of elegance would radiate off of her, brightening up the entire room. She doesn’t smile much, but when she did, it was...more beautiful than anything else.”

He realized that he had begun rambling, and trailed off, looking back to the fireplace to hide his face. 

“You really love her.”

Turning his head back to face Granger, he nodded, closing his eyes. He imagined that his mother was there with him, smiling in his direction, as he opened his presents. He imagined she was running behind him, trying to feed him a sweet, while his innocent, carefree self ran throughout the halls of Malfoy Manor. He imagined that he was in his mother’s protective arms, as though there wasn't a trouble in the world. 

But alas, this was all just imagination. 

Opening his eyes, he found himself in the Room of Requirement with a cheerful Hermione Granger, protected by the four walls of the room and the warmth of the fireplace. 

At least it was better than being alone. At least he had her. 

Watching her inquisitively open a box, to lift out a book, and then laugh to herself, he finally snapped out of his thoughts.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a book from Harry.” she laughed, showing him the cover.

_ A Book For Girls Who Are Constantly in the Presence of the Male Specimen: Your Guide For Survival. _

Shaking his head, he turned back to his own presents, picking out and opening the next few. 

He got a stack of quidditch magazines and three boxes of chocolate frogs from Blaise, and assorted sweets from different relatives. Opening his last present, he found a potions book from Snape. He sneered, pushing it to the side, not wanting to look at it. instead, he turned back at Granger.

She had a silver bracelet in her fingers, holding it ever so delicately, looking at it in fascination.

“Who is that from?”

“Oh...this? It’s from Ron.”

He didn’t know why, but suddenly, his blood began to boil, as his palms fisted. A sudden wave of rage rushed through him, and it bothered him to the core.

“That’s why it looks so fucking tacky—”

“Draco—”

“Cheap as fuck. I should have known—”

“It’s a Christmas present. He’s my best friend, Draco.”

“Best friend? Or—”

“Draco...I don’t know if you haven’t realized this...but I’m not someone who would play with two people like that. Right now...I’m sleeping with you. That’s all there is.”

The rage in his veins decreased significantly, as his body let go, and relaxed against the sofa. Her words were...assurance to him. 

“I’m sorry.”

It was the second time he’d apologized to her, and it had affected her just as much as the first time. Her features softened as she smiled at him, her grin brightening up the entire room. She remembered back to when he had apologized to her for the first time...it had been back in Hagrid’s pumpkin patch. They had kissed for the first time, right after. 

“It’s okay, Draco.”

When she had finished opening uptake remainder of her presents, she finally decided it was time to give Draco his.

“Granger, you are grinning like a fool.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, I guess there’s no point in waiting. Here’s your present.”

She pulled out a little box from behind her back, and handed it it over. It was wrapped in shiny red wrapping paper, with a green ribbon. Slowly, he ripped off the packaging.

Inside was a small black box, small enough to hold in his palm. He looked over to Granger, who was nibbling on her lip, watching him as he opened her gift. Raising an eyebrow at her, he finally lifted the top of the box open, and looked down to see what was inside. 

Inside, was a little golden snitch. He slowly lifted it from the box, and the moment it touched his fingertips, his entire arm warmed, almost as if there were fireworks buzzing on his palm.

It was just any snitch.  _ It was his snitch.  _

“Granger...this can't be…”

“The very first snitch you caught as a seeker? It is.”

Staring at her in disbelief, he looked down at the tiny ball in his hands, it’s wings fluttering ever so gently, as the snitch danced in his hands, almost as if it was reading its owner’s mind.  _ It remembered his touch.  _

He allowed it to fly a bit, before reaching back up to grab it again. It obeyed his every wish: the moment he’d thought of it, it was back in his palm.

Gifting a snitch in the wizarding world meant so much...it told the recipient that the giver cares about them. It told Draco that Hermione cared about  _ him.  _

And...this wasn’t just any snitch. This was the very first snitch he had ever caught. He remembered the day as if it had been yesterday. It was a match against Ravenclaw...he smiled as he recalled the exact moment he grabbed the snitch. He couldn’t remember feeling more victorious than he was in that moment. 

“Granger, how did you get this?”

”Remember a few days ago, when I went out early in the morning? I had actually gone to the old shed down by Hogsmeade. I knew they kept some old quidditch balls in there, thought there was a chance it could be there. I used a spell on you in the morning, so that I could use my wand to check the snitches to find out which one was yours. This one got all fluttery when I used the spell, so I knew it was it.”

“You didn’t get caught?”

“I had Harry’s invisibility cloak with me...I also happen to know about quite a few secret passages.” she added in, with a devilish smirk, almost good enough to rival his own. 

“...thank you.”

Words couldn’t express her happiness to hear his gratitude, and just see how happy he was receiving his snitch. She felt like she would conquer the world if she needed to, just to see him smile like that once more. Moving from her spot on the carpet, she joined him on the sofa, leaning in for a kiss. 

His lips were soft like velvet, and his hands were like a sedative, toying in her hair, lifting her up into a cradling position. In between their kisses, Draco could feel her smiling against his lips, which made something in his stomach turn. Maneuvering them into a lying position, so that Draco was on top of Hermione, they kissed in their secret little room, the fireplace blazing in the distance. Pulling apart just a bit, he rested his forehead against hers, both of them catching their breaths for just a few seconds. 

“Happy Christmas, Draco.”

* * *

  
  


“Why in Morgana’s saggy tits did you think it would be a good idea to come out here without a scarf? It’s fucking cold, Granger, you’ll get sick—”

“Oh, live a little, will you? Just feel the wind against your throat—”

“You know, I’ve had enough of your deep shit—”

“And I’ve had enough of your aristocratic ass—”

“Bookworm.”

“Snob.”

“Know it all.”

“You’re a vain little cockroach, you know that, right?”

Draco couldn’t help but laugh at her final remark, as he immediately remembered the day in Third Year, when she had first called her that name.

“If I’m not mistaken, I think it was  _ foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach _ , but vain works as well.”

Stopping to kick a large chunk of snow, she smiled as she remembered the exact moment he was referring to.

“I think that was one of the best moments of my life. Punching you. It felt bloody fantastic.”

“Gosh, Granger, thanks a lot.”

“You deserved it then. You were an absolute arsehole. Not to say you aren’t one anymore.” she quickly added, when she saw his lips begin to curl. 

“I still have the scar.” he said, pointing to a faint mark on his nose.

Smiling, they both walked a bit further, before Draco finally broke the silence.

“Granger…after dinner, meet me outside of the room...and wear the green dress you wore to the Hallowe'en ball.”

“How come?”

“Just do it. You know, to get into the holiday spirit, as you said.” 

* * *

  
  


Combing her hair one last time, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, standing in her emerald green dress. She had no clue why Draco had asked her to wear it, but she didn’t want to question it. She simply allowed things to happen. 

Finally, deciding she looked quite presentable, she tossed the invisibility cloak above her head, and made her way to the Room of Requirement. 

* * *

  
  


He waited for her outside the room, wearing a white collared shirt, and black formal pants. He felt so cheesy, standing there, yet a rush of adrenaline rushing through his veins made him more excited than ever. 

Suddenly, he heard a pair of footsteps, but couldn’t track where they came from. They seemed to be getting closer, which put him on guard. He reached for his wand, just when a piece of fabric waved in front of him, and Granger appeared.

She was beautiful.

The green dress on her olive skin, her coffee coloured curls dancing down, while her skin glowed in the dimly lit hall. 

“How come you asked me to—”

“Let’s go inside. You’ll see.”

Giving her his signature Malfoy smirk, he slowly opened the door that formed in front of him, hoping that everything would turn out how he had planned. 

She followed behind him, slowly entering the room. A sudden blast of light caught her eye, so she used her hand to shade herself from the... _ sunlight? _

Opening her eyes, and slowly adjusting to her new surroundings, she found herself on a street, the sun setting, homes lit up for the holidays. She felt Draco’s hand grasp her wrist, guiding her to him. Taking a good look at where she was, she realized that he hadn’t just brought her to any street.

It was  _ her  _ street. 

Realizing they were outside, a blast of chilly wind hit her, causing her to shiver slightly. 

_ If only I had something to keep me warm… _

Suddenly, a warm cloak appeared out of nowhere. Draco grabbed it, and draped it around her, protecting her from the cold. 

Together, they walked on, until they had reached their intended destination. It was a place Hermione knew so well…

_ Her home.  _

The house she had grown up in. The place she had spent her childhood. Suddenly, images of her running around in the front yard, while her father chased her from behind filled her thoughts. This place had been...her everything. 

“Draco…”

“It’s just an illusion. It’s not real, although it seems like it. This is the most that the Room could give me.”

She felt the need to embrace him, as she flung her arms around his neck, throwing him off balance a bit. When she retracted, she saw that with a smile on his face, he was gesturing for her to go inside the house. 

“I can go...”

“You can go inside. Your parents will not be there, but everything inside will be the same. Go on.”

With a twinkle in her eyes, she ran forward, and twisted the doorknob to open the door, entering her home. Draco followed right behind her, stepping along her footsteps.

She entered to find the hall, which branched out to different areas. First, she went to the kitchen, where she found every cup and every plate in the exact place it should have been. Then, she ran upstairs, and went to each and every room. Every doll in her room was in its place. She picked up a particular elephant she was quite fond of, smiling down at it. Her bed was in the centre, while her bookshelf was full of all her textbooks from previous years. She looked over at Draco, who was watching her with an amused expression. Together, they slowly made their way back downstairs, to the living room. 

“Draco...I can’t believe...”

“It’s not over yet, Granger. There’s more.”

Out of nowhere, he conjured up a stereo, and pulled out a tape from his back pocket. 

“I got this from Oberon’s, during our trip to Hogsmeade.”

He seemed to be struggling to insert the tape, so Hermione rushed forward to help. When she pressed the play button, the same time that she had been so accustomed to hearing flooded her ears. 

She felt Draco take her hand in his, and guide them both to the centre of the living room.

_ Oh, the weather outside is frightful. _

_ But the fire is so delightful. _

_ And since we’ve got no place to go. _

_ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. _

They moved to the rhythm together, gliding throughout the room, hand in hand. Draco twirled her around, causing her to smile the brightest smile she had smiled in months. The entire room lit up, as happiness radiated off of her features for miles. 

_ Man it doesn't show signs of stoppin'. _

_ And I brought me some corn for poppin'. _

_ The lights are turned way down low. _

_ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. _

He couldn’t help but allow a smile on his lips to form. Seeing her like that, her happiness was contagious. They swayed together, using each other as supports, to guide them through the room.

_ When we finally kiss good-night. _

_ How I'll hate going out in the storm. _

_ But if you really hold me tight. _

_ All the way home I'll be warm. _

Turning her head to look out of the window, she realized that it had actually begun to snow outside. The snowflakes did their own dance, dancing down to the ground, making this day just a bit more perfect. 

_ And the fire is slowly dying. _

_ And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing. _

_ But as long as you'd love me so. _

_ Let it snow, let it snow, and snow. _

He looked down at her amber eyes, flooded with emotion. He had never seen her this happy, and it made something in his stomach flutter. Her smile was everything…

_ When we finally kiss good-night. _

_ How I'll hate going out in the storm. _

_ But if you'd really grab me tight. _

_ All the way home I'll be warm. _

His eyes were so beautiful...the most captivating shade of grey…

_ Oh the fire is slowly dying. _

_ And, my dear, we're still goodbye-ing. _

_ But as long as you'd love me so. _

_ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. _

Even when the song had ended, they stood in their spot, holding each other, swaying back and forth. He dipped his head down so their fringes touched, his hands on her waist while her arms were around his shoulders. 

Until the moment she died, Hermione could confidently say that that day had been one of the best days in her life. 

And it was because of  _ him. He  _ had made it special,

It was then when Draco had realized that their relationship had finally hit a turning point. It wasn’t just useless shagging. It was something  _ more _ .  _ They  _ had something more.

But then again, it had always been. 

Leaning down, he captured her lips once more, taking his time to savour her taste. Savour her presence. Make his time with her  _ last longer. Everything  _ could be taken away from him in the blink of an eye. 

He knew it wouldn’t last. It  _ couldn’t.  _ He was Draco Malfoy, and she was Hermione Granger. They were on opposite sides in a battle that they had been a part of since they were eleven years old.  _ They  _ would never be okay. 

It would all come back to bite them. 

One day.

But for now, it was okay to walk with her in the snowy Hogwarts grounds, or kiss her by the lake. It was okay to hold her in bed, by the fireplace, and dance with her to muggle music. It was okay to be like this.

For now.

Pulling back to stare into her eyes, she gave him the more sincere smile ever, breaking him. He didn’t want her to get hurt. 

But he  _ knew  _ she would. 

In that moment, to him, Hermione Granger was more beautiful than anything else.

And most importantly, he didn’t care that it was wrong. He didn’t give a fuck about pureblood ideologies. He didn’t care that she was a muggleborn. 

His blood, her blood. Everything was the same. 

It was all red.

* * *

  
  


a/n: ahhhhhh done this chapter!!! Christmas break has been fantastic so far. I think I’ve gained three points already. 

Just to make sure this is known, the song used in this chapter was  _ Let It Snow,  _ by Dean Martin. I do not own this song in any way shape or form. It’s a beautiful song, never fails to get me hyped for the holidays. 

I made some chocolate cake the other day, it was delicious, highly recommend baking. Give it a try, even if things don’t turn out good, it’s such a fun experience.

Once again, pleaseeeee review and comment. They mean the world to me. I read each and every one.

Stay safe, wear a mask, and remember to continue social distancing,

Sydney.

  
  



	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Tears

They spent the remainder of their break together, seldom leaving one another’s side. They talked about the most useless things, but both of them loved it. Even bickering was...enjoyable. Only Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger could rival each other in a verbal spar. 

Every night, they’d come back to the Room of Requirement, and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It had become a routine.

“What the fuck! She isn’t  _ actually  _ going to accept, is she?”

“I don’t know, Draco. You’ll have to wait and see.”

“You’re fucking kidding me. You have got to be fucking kidding me. After all that, she still marries him?”

“You have to read on to understand.  _ Pride and Prejudice  _ is one of the most well known muggle romance novels ever.”

“It’s well written, I have to give you that. But Elizabeth is naive as fuck. Darcy is a righteous arsehole—”

“Doesn’t that sound like someone we know...”

Raising an eyebrow at her, he turned the page, letting her have her little victory. She smiled, as she melted further into his warmth, reading with him in the moonlight, on the Astronomy Tower. It was New Year’s Eve, and they had just a few days left, before their lives resumed once more. 

I’m just a few days, everyone, and everything would return, breaking apart the routine they had become so accustomed to. Both of them were determined to make the most of it.

Suddenly, with a boom that startled both of them, a jolt of red light sprung up into the air. 

“The fireworks.”

They stayed in their spots, as they watched the dazzling show of lights in front of them. Different colours, bursting into the sky, and then drifting down like snowflakes played before their eyes, in front of the beautiful mountainous backdrop, so pretty it looked like a picture. 

“Flitwick did a fantastic job, didn’t he?”

“Mmmm.” Draco hummed.

With a sudden realization, Hermione frantically turned around, facing Draco.

“What’s the time?”

“It’s 11:59 exactly.”

Without wasting one more second, Hermione grasped Draco’s face in her palms, and kissed him, right in that moment.

He had been thrown off at first, but he responded right away. Both made bold nips and sucks, yet kept the kiss slow. Hermione ran her fingers through his feathery hair, while he rested his on her waist. When she finally pulled away, they were both left slightly breathless, resting their foreheads against one another’s.

“What was that for?” asked Draco, arching an eyebrow.

“Oh...just something muggles do on New Year’s Eve.”

“Why so?”

“Um…”

_ It’s to show that I care.  _

_ It’s to show that you mean something to me. _

_ It’s to show that… _

“Nothing. It’s just something muggles do.”

“Alright then.” he responded, quirking an eyebrow.

In the midst of the fireworks, and in the midst of their kiss, for some reason, Hermione's stomach lurched. It was fun to pretend that they were the only two people that existed, but the break was almost over.  _ This  _ was almost over. She could sense it...a war was coming. 

Everyone remained happy, and by looking at the faces of the children in the halls, you could never realize that anything was happening. But with just a single look at the teachers, she could tell.

She could see the dread on their faces. She could see their constant fear. Voldemort would soon infiltrate the ministry...perhaps he already had. 

Everything would only go downhill from there. It was only a matter of time.

All of this caused her to realize why she was with Draco then. How  _ they  _ came to be. Why they slept together, why they danced together, why he held her in his arms. She remembered her motives behind everything.

Somehow, she had completely forgotten about the mission she had set herself upon, and found herself becoming more and more deeply involved with Draco. 

Draco was on a mission. She remembered about what happened at Hogsmeade, and how scared he had been. She remembered how she had found him in the girls bathroom, simply...broken. 

The truth of the matter was...Draco and Hermione were on two different sides of a raging battle. 

It caused her to feel a sharp pang in her chest, as she looked up at her companion.

He had changed so much over the past few months...she knew he didn’t look at muggles with the same loathing and hatred he once did. She  _ knew  _ he didn’t hate her kind. He had slowly detached himself from the pureblood ideologies he had grown up with, which brought him to that day, reading a muggle romance novel with perhaps one of the most well known muggle born witches in the wizarding community at the moment.

Draco was a changed man. Whether he accepted it, or not.

He simply wasn’t the same. This was a Draco that was completely different from who the world saw him as. She knew her friends had nothing but pure hatred for him, but they didn’t see the man  _ she  _ saw. They didn’t know the Draco  _ she  _ knew.

She needed to ask him. She needed him to tell her. They couldn’t continue on pretending like nothing else was happening in the world. Draco’s life was evidently in danger. 

“Draco…”

“Yeah?”

“I know this is hard for you, and you might not be ready...but I know that Voldemort sent you here to do something. I know you have a task. I know neither you, nor your family are safe. I just need you to...tell me. Tell me about it, Draco, I can help. I promise you, everything will be okay, I need you to...tell me.”

She caught him off guard, and he didn’t know what to say. Fuck, one part of him  _ wanted  _ to tell her…

“You don’t have to right now. But...you need to soon. So that I can help you, Draco. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Sighing, he nodded. He wasn’t sure what to do anymore, or what to say. For now, he just wanted to ride on this wave of ecstasy for as long as he could, before everything was over.

* * *

  
  


“Hermione! Did you get the ring I sent you?”

“Yes Ginny, I received your ring. It’s beautiful, I love it.”

“That’s wonderful!”

Before she could say anything else, she was thrown off balance from a hug from her boys, Harry and Ron, who greeted her with the widest smiles possible. 

“How was your holiday?” asked Ron, pulling out of the hug. 

“It was great, Ron. Although I surely did miss the two of you.” she added.

“We missed you as well.” Harry chimed in. “Did you get my present?”

“Oh yes. Yes I did.”

Sharing a private exchange of smirks, they carried on, walking to the end of the common room. Glancing at them, Ron quirked up an eyebrow, but dismissed it as soon as Seamus ran up to him with the latest quidditch magazine. Ginny, giving Harry a quick kiss, ran off to go see Luna, leaving Hermione alone with Harry.

“So, Hermione. How was your break?”

“It was good.”

“Just good?”

“Why are you giving me that look?”

“I spoke to Justin earlier today—”

“Oh God, Harry you didn’t—”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t explicit about anything...just implied a lot of things. He was quite out of it, that’s odd, he’s a Ravenclaw…”

“Harry.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” he winked.

Rolling her eyes, she took a seat on the chair, getting herself comfortable.

“Does he treat you well?”

“What?”

“Does he treat you well, Hermione?”

“He treats me with more care than my father.”

“Well...if that’s the case,” he started, with a sigh, “he must be a decent bloke.”

* * *

  
  


“Blimey...”

“What happened?”

“Take a look at it yourself.” Ron said, passing the newspaper over to his friend.

_ Two More Muggles, Dead. Killed In Their Homes, Minister Yet to Speak. _

Goosebumps formed throughout the length of Hermione’s arms, as soon as she read the headline. Her eyes finally moving downward, she began to read the article.

_ Marie and Scott Finch-Fletchley, two muggles previously residing in London, were killed on New Year’s Day. Officials say the official cause of death is the killing curse, but torture marks have also been found on the victims’ bodies. A dark mark was also left right above the Finch-Fletchleys’ home. The couple leave behind a son, a muggle born wizard, currently in his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The exact time of the deaths is… _

Justin’s parents had been killed. 

Gone, just like that. 

She scanned the Great Hall for his familiar smiling face, but she couldn’t find it. 

She couldn’t even begin to comprehend what he was going through. 

In that moment, Hermione realized that...this could have been her. It could have been her parents.  _ She  _ could have been the one grieving. Her parents were at high risk...she was known to be close to Harry, after all. 

Draco had warned her about this.

“Hermione…”

She looked over to find Harry’s comforting arm over her shoulder. He knew exactly what was on her mind right then.

“Harry...my mum and dad…”

“They’ll be okay, Hermione.”

She felt tears build up in her eyes, reading over the passage once more.

“It could have been them, Harry. It could have been them…”

“Well...what do you think you should do now?” questioned Ron, leaning in.

“I...I’ve been thinking of something for a while now. I didn’t want to...I didn’t think…”

“Hermione what is it?”

“I’m going to wipe their memories.”

* * *

  
  


He saw her sitting at Gryffindor table, with her friends. The break was over, and everyone had finally flooded back into their lives.  _ This  _ was what was supposed to feel normal.

Supposed to.

But after spending more than two weeks waking up, and eating breakfast in just  _ her  _ company, everything felt odd. Sitting there on the bench, with Blaise beside him. It should have been him and Granger, sitting by their fireplace…

Looking back up, he saw Potter place his arm around her shoulder. It should have angered him...but since it was Potter, it was okay. 

He trusted her. 

She was his, and only his. She made sure he knew that. Even though he didn’t know what  _ his  _ really meant. 

Potter and Granger were like siblings. Their relationship truly was...pure. Weasley, however, had ill intentions.

Taking a proper look, he realized that she was... _ crying.  _

She was trying to hold them in, but one fell, gliding down her cheek ever so gracefully. She was holding a paper in her hands, and clutched onto Potter, who was whispering something to her. 

_ Why was she crying? _

_ Had someone hurt her? _

He needed to find out. 

Pushing away the remainder of his breakfast, he set his mind on seeking her out after everyone cleared out, trying to find her alone.

* * *

  
  


“Are you sure you can go alone, Hermione? At least one of us should come with you—”

“No, Ronald. I can manage myself.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” asked Harry.

“...yes.”

Stiffly nodding to them, she began her walk to Professor McGonagall’s office, leaving her friends behind. Her pace rapidly quickened, as she soon broke out into a run.

Time was precious. 

Just as she was turning the corner, she heard a voice call her from behind, and grab her wrist. 

“Granger!”

She turned around, knowing immediately who it was, from their touch.

“Draco.”

“What happened? Where are you going?”

“Draco I...I need to go right now.”

“What do you mean? I saw you crying at breakfast, now you’re running through the halls—”

“Draco please.” she begged, her emotions bare. 

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she began to sob, losing energy. Draco’s hands remained on her elbows, steadying her, while her hands went up to his chest.

“Please...I need to go now. I have to go now. Please.”

Her raw desperation broke him, as his hold on her slackened. She immediately backed away, and after glancing at him one more time, ran in the opposite direction, rushing through the halls to get to her destination.

Whatever was bothering Granger, was bothering Draco as well. 

He couldn’t stand seeing her like that.

* * *

  
  


“Miss Granger, I couldn’t possibly allow you to—”

“ _ But you have to. _ ”

“Hermione—”

“They’re my parents! Did you see what happened to the Finch-Fletchleys? I apologize for speaking to you this way, Professor, but this is my  _ mum and dad _ !”

“This is crazy—”

“But it’s the only way. You  _ know  _ they’re next. They know I’m close to Harry. They’ll use my parents as a way to hurt Harry.  _ You know it. _ ”

“I cannot allow a sixteen year old witch to perform a memory charm on her parents in the middle of the school year!”

“Everything is in front of us. We have everything we need. Why not take the precautions necessary to keep them safe? I am more than capable of performing the charm.”

The elder witch sighed, and took off her spectacles, before messaging the bridge of her nose. She thought to herself for a few moments, analyzing the situation in front of her, occasionally glancing at the restless witch seated in front of her. She knew she was fully capable of producing a memory charm needed for such a task...but how could she allow her student to take such a step?

“Okay, listen to me, Miss Granger. Give me some time to think about it. I’ll let you know, I promise. I’ll call the Ministry right now to appoint a few guards outside of your parents’ home, until then. Is that okay?”

“...okay. I just need them to be safe…”

With a nod to the Headmistress, she rose from her seat, getting up to leave. Just as she was standing at the door frame, her Professor spoke from behind.

“Don’t worry, Hermione. Your parents will be absolutely fine. Stay strong. You are the strongest young witch that I have seen walking through these halls. All will be okay, just make sure you pull through the storm.”

Before exiting, she left the elderly witch with a few words. 

“Even the strongest trees fall during the mightiest storms, Professor.”

* * *

  
  


Finally finishing her letter, she flattened out the parchment one last time, before releasing it to herself in her head.

_ Dear Mum and Dad, _

_ I know I wasn’t able to come home. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I knew it was supposed to be just the three of us this year, but I couldn’t make it. I hope the two of you still found a way to have fun.  _

_ I’m going to get straight to the point here. You know about Voldemort’s return to the wizarding world, and you know about his power. I told you about how much he and his kind hate muggles and muggle borns. Yesterday, a muggle born friend of mine’s parents were murdered. Please, be careful. Don’t leave the house unless you absolutely need to. Please stay safe. Some ministry guards should be positioned outside the house tonight, so that they can protect you.  _

_ I love you both. More than anything on this planet. I’m so sorry for anything I’ve done to hurt you, and I’m so sorry for not being there for you all the time. I’m sorry. I love you, Mum. I love you, Dad. The north of you mean the world to me. Just please stay safe.  _

_ I love you, _

_ Hermione _

A tear threatened to spill out of her eye, as she gently folded the parchment, and put it inside an envelope.

Something had to be done about her parents. Soon.

* * *

  
  


He hadn’t found her the entire day. He was...worried. It almost made him tempted to go ask a Gryffindor if they had seen her. Dinner had just concluded, as all the students flooded back to their common rooms and dormitories. Finally, finding a patch of red hair, he quietly moved close to where they Weasley was standing, within earshot, but remaining hidden. 

“How is she?”

“She’s okay. Hermione’s in her dormitory right now. Ginny just told me.”

“Do you think we should go talk to her?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, let’s go then.”

Somehow, just hearing that she was okay lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. He still knew something was bothering her, and he  _ needed  _ to find out what made her cry, but in that moment, he was satisfied with knowing that she was safe. 

He hoped Potter and Weasley would be able to take care of her.

* * *

  
  


a/n: that’s chapter 32 for you! I know I promised a chapter before New Years, but I decided to spend the remainder of my break with family. Hence the slightly late update. Talking about New Years, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! If you’re here, and if you’re reading this, congratulations! You survived 2020. Keep pushing guys, we can make it through! 

I know I said I wouldn’t be writing anything before I finished this, but over the break, I got an idea for a one shot, and I couldn’t help but write it. Just a short one shot, but the concept of the story was just too beautiful to ignore. So, if anyone here is interested, check out my one shot,  **Forever Yours** . It’s up on AO3 and FFN under my profile!

Thank you to everyone that’s been here through this journey! Many more chapters to come. It only gets more exciting from here!

And once again, please please pleaseeeeee review. I love them. They’re the best. Consider a review as a Christmas present. Keep the presents coming guys!

Love you guys, 

Sydney

  
  
  



	33. Chapter 33

**Summary:** "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

* * *

Chapter 33: Blankets and Moonlight

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, as she found herself in the comfort of her bed, shielded by her four curtains. Checking the time, she realized it was quite early in the morning. Deciding an early walk would do her good, she rose from her bed, and pulled open her curtain. 

The last thing she had remembered from the previous night was speaking to Harry and Ron, and then falling asleep with Ginny sitting by her side. She was thankful they were there...but she wished she was with Draco. 

The comfort of falling asleep in Draco’s strong arms would clear her mind of all other thoughts, and simply allow her to live. 

She would have to find him that day. He had looked worried when he spoke to her in the hall. She felt bad leaving him like that, but in that moment, speaking to Professor McGonagall had been the most important thing to do. 

* * *

  
  


It was seven am, and he still hadn’t spoken to her. He hadn’t gotten any sleep the previous night, his mind full of thoughts about  _ her _ , and why she was upset. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“You seem to be thinking about something.”

“Fuck off Blaise.”

“Why so grumpy? Did you not get off this morning—”

“Fuck you.”

“Draco, how long has it been since you’ve shagged someone? It must be a year now—”

“What I do is none of your business—”

“—and you have made that quite clear to me this year.” he said, his words having a double meaning attached to them, as Draco quirked up an eyebrow. “However, I will tell you that you need to cool down a bit. You got significantly better, but since I came back, you’ve been a pain—”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m implying that you should sleep with someone. Being with someone will do you good. Having someone beside you...having someone to be there through your good and bad...that shit will help.”

“Blaise—”

“And I’m not just talking about shagging them. Find someone...to be with. Find someone who will support you, and help you become...not so much of a pain. Someone you can call yours.”

Images of Granger immediately flashed in his eyes. Images of them in the Room of Requirement, and the Astronomy Tower. Images of Granger smiling at him like there wasn’t a problem in the world. Images of her stroking his hair, and kissing his neck.

Just her. 

He hastily pulled out of his thoughts, trying to push away thoughts of Granger from his head. 

“I’m okay, mate. Besides, there isn’t really anyone—”

“What about Astoria? She’s still very interested, and she’s a nice girl. Give her a chance mate—”

“I’m good Blaise. I’m good. I don’t need anything at the moment. Really.”

* * *

  
  


“Pass the toast, Ron.”

“Here you go.”

Reaching over to grab the toast from Ron, her elbow accidentally knocked over a pitcher of pumpkin juice, spilling it all over the table and her skirt. 

“Merlin...let me clean this up.”

“Do you need some help?”

“No, I can manage.”

Muttering a cleaning spell, she cleaned the juice on the table, and patted down her skirt, now dry. 

“Are you okay, Hermione?”

“I’m fine, Harry...I just need to speak to someone…”

She noticed him quirk an eyebrow up at her, as she took a bite out of her toast. Just as she was about to risk a glance towards the Slytherin table, a Second Year approached her, and handed her a note.

“This is from Professor McGonagall. She told me to give it to you.”

“Thank you.” she said, as she eyed the note, inquisitively.

_ Please come to my office immediately. —Professor McGonagall _

“What does it say?”

“She wants me to go to her office...it might be to discuss what we’re going to do about my parents! She’s made her decision! I need to go, I’ll see you two later.” she said, ecstatically. 

“Tell us how it goes later!”

“Of course!” she yelled back, smiling.

Of her entire morning, finally, this was the first thing she had gotten the opportunity to be optimistic about.

* * *

  
  


He finally caught a glimpse of her at breakfast.

She was eating solemnly, seated beside Potter and across to Weasley, as always.

Suddenly, he saw her burst into a smile, making something inside him twist. 

He watched, as she ran out of the room, a note in her hand, smiling to herself. 

If it had been any other time, or any other witch, he’d be concerned, but since it was Granger…

It only made  _ him  _ smile.

* * *

  
  


“Yes, Professor?”

“Hermione…”

“Yes?”

“Your parents.” she started.

She sat in her spot, impatiently waiting for a response. 

“They are dead.”

She felt something lurch in her stomach, as she simply failed to comprehend McGonagall’s words.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I am so sorry Hermione…”

“Professor...what do you mean…?”

She suddenly felt like she was falling, as everything began to form together in her head. It all felt like it was a nightmare, and she was just about to wake up…

* * *

  
  


“She’s not here. You think she’s okay, Harry?”

“I’m sure she’s fine. She’s Hermione, after all.”

* * *

  
  


“They were murdered this morning...the dark mark has been left over your home.”

“No…” 

“Hermione I am so sorry, love.” she said, leaning over, placing an arm on her student’s shoulder.

Suddenly, everything was dissolving, as if she had been spiraling into a black hole. Her limbs became numb, as she slumped over in her chair, almost falling over. She felt her breathing slow, as she replayed her Professor’s words in her head, making sure she hadn’t made a terrible mistake.

_ They are dead… _

“NO!”

She jumped up, knocking over the tea cup in front of her, shattering the glass all over the floor. She started moving back, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, as her body acted on impulse. She tripped over the chair leg, and fell on the floor, her hand slamming into a glass shard, slicing open her palm. 

“Hermione! Let me help you up…”

The elderly witch rushed to her side, but as soon as she extended an arm to help her up, Hermione met her eyes with a piercing stare.

“Were they tortured?”

“Hermione—”

“Please. I need to know. Were they tortured?”

“As far as I know...no.”

She sighed just momentarily, before resting her hands on her knees, her face in her hands. Her cut stung, but it was overshadowed by the pain she felt internally. She felt as if she was burning up, while being stabbed a thousand times. 

_ They were all she had left… _

And now they were gone.

Gone, never to return. Just like that.

“Hermione...if you wish to do so, I can take you to your home right now. You can see them...one last time.”

She snapped up to attention, getting up, and wiping blood on her skirt. 

“Let’s go.”

* * *

  
  


Feeling warmth around her body, she disappeared from her Professor’s office, and appeared in the fireplace she had been so used to sitting beside, as a child. Exiting the fireplace, she walked right into the living room of her home...the place she had grown up. The place she had ran around as a child, while her mother chased behind her. The place where she held so many memories…

It was her home, yet it felt dark and gloomy. She smelled death in the air, as she subconsciously noticed her Professor join her from behind. As she slowly took a few steps forward, she immediately stopped in her tracks, when she saw them.

They were right there. In front of here. There, yet so far away. It was as if she was trying to grab smoke: right there, yet slipping past her fingertips. 

Their bodies laid right in the middle of the room, her father and mother’s hands almost touching, as if they had been holding hands right before.

They looked like they were sleeping...ever so peacefully. 

Hermione slowly advanced, before crouching down, to place herself right in between her parents. 

_ Did the killing curse hurt? Not as far as she had remembered studying… _

She took both of their hands in hers, before lifting her lips to touch both of them. They had always done the same to her, before putting her to sleep at night. 

She stroked her mother’s long curly hair, hair that she had inherited. With her other hand, she cupped her father’s face, now cold and frosty, and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. 

They were beautiful, in such a tragic way. 

She felt a lone tear slip down her cheek, falling on the carpet. She remembered back to September, when her parents bid her farewell, as she went off to Hogwarts once more. It was the last time they’d kissed her. She hadn’t known it would be the last time she’d see them at all…

“I’m so sorry.” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry, Dad. You don’t deserve this…”

More and more tears began to fall, as she clutched onto their bodies, almost as if they would come back any second. Almost as if it would all turn out to be some weird, crooked joke. Almost as if they were still with her…

“I love you…”

Just as she turned to look at her mother, she found a piece of paper beside her hand. It seemed as though she had been holding it before she fell…

_ It was her letter.  _

She had read it. She had gotten...one last message from her. From their daughter. She had read it.

Her fingers trembled, as she held onto the letter tightly in her hands. She rocked back and forth in her spot on the floor, as tears descended down her cheeks in silence. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look back.

“Miss Granger...we must leave now. The funeral will be held in two days, after official Ministry investigations.”

Quickly wiping away her tears, she stiffly nodded, causing her Professor to take a few steps back. She turned back to her parents, before leaning down to place one last delicate kiss on each of their foreheads. 

“I love you, Mum. I love you, Dad. Goodnight.”

Slowly rising from her spot, she joined her Professor, and headed towards the fireplace. Before going, she turned around to take one last look, before stepping in, and disappearing with the green flames.

* * *

  
  


Draco watched the clock, as lunch concluded. She had been gone since breakfast, and hadn’t been to a single class they shared. In fact, after Potions, both Potter and Weasley went missing as well. Professor McGonagall had also not been present for Transfigurations. 

It was odd. 

He assumed the three were together, with their teacher. It only made sense. But...where could she be?

He walked through the crowded halls, when suddenly, he felt as though he had bumped into something. He couldn’t find anyone near him...that was odd. Turning around, he swore he saw a pair of feet appear out of nowhere, and then disappear as soon as it came.

_ What in the fucking world… _

Potter’s invisibility cloak. 

He  _ knew  _ it was her. He  _ knew  _ it was the three of them. He sighed, knowing she was okay, but suddenly became strung up in his thoughts.  _ Why were they under the cloak… _

Nothing made sense to him. Everything was all over the place. He would look for Granger afterwards, but for now...he knew she was okay with Potter and Weasley.

* * *

  
  


“They’re gone.” she stated, dully, as she stared into the flames, her jaw set. 

“Hermione…” whispered Ron, who had an arm around her shoulder. 

“I could have saved them. It could have been prevented.” 

“Hermione, it’s not your fault. You—”

“But it is, Harry. It is.”

“Don’t blame yourself for what you didn’t cause. It’s not your fault, Hermione.”

No matter how much Harry and Ron tried to convince her it wasn’t, in her head, it always would be. Her parents had died because of her, and would now never return. 

And the worst part was, she didn’t do anything about it.

* * *

  
  


She woke up with a jolt, sweaty and nervous. Everything seemed like a dream...her parents couldn’t be gone…

But they were, because this was reality. 

Everything was just how it should have been. Her pitcher of water was by the windowsill, her trunk was clean and organized, and her dresser had every cream lined up and put exactly where it should have been. 

It was all the same. Yet, her life had changed. In ways she couldn’t describe, and neither wanted to.

All she could say was that she felt empty. 

Empty, as though she was drowning away to somewhere from where she’d never return. 

* * *

  
  


Somehow, he found himself in the Astronomy Tower, alone at night. He usually would have been with Granger, but now hadn’t spoken to her for more than three days. 

It made him think...maybe this was good. Maybe she was trying to distance herself from him. It was bound to happen, so why not then?

She would be better off without him being a burden on her...she could be happy. 

Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him, prompting him to turn around.

Granger. 

Her eyes were bloodshot, and had a blanket wrapped around her body. She looked thinner than usual, with dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess, and looked as though she had pulled it for hours. 

“Granger…”

His voice caused her to look towards his direction, finally realizing she wasn’t alone. 

“Oh...Draco. I’ll...I’ll go then…”

“No, no! Don’t leave” he said, rushing to her side, and placing his hands on her forearms to guide her to the railing.

As the moonlight shined on her face, he got a better look at her. She looked sick. 

“Granger! Why do you look like this? You’ve been crying…” 

Quickly, he reached up to cup her face, and brushed off a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“What happened, Granger?”

_ Silence.  _

“What happened? You need to tell me.”

_ Still silence.  _

“What happened, Hermione? I need to know...please.”

And that was all it took. 

“They’re gone, Draco.”

“Who is?”

“My parents...they killed them, Draco. They killed them…”

And then suddenly, she was crying. 

She simply couldn’t hold them in any longer. After three days of keeping everything bottled up inside her, she had burst. Her emotions ran wild, as she yelled and sobbed into Draco’s chest, clutching his shirt. 

“They took them from me. They took away my mum and dad…”

He had no idea how to react. His mind was immediately filled with thoughts and questions as to how it could have possibly happened...and who was behind it.

_ Could it be his father?  _

Surely not. 

Probably not. 

Not his father…

It broke him to see her broken like that. She used every last bit of energy she had left in her so simply...cry. 

She needed it.

“Draco...you know what was the worst part of it all? I couldn’t do a fucking thing. They just killed them...and you know what I did the next day? I woke up, and went to my classes. I attended every single class, while my parents’ killers are somewhere out there. It’s all over Draco…”

“It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for this.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist, while he placed the other one on the back of her head, holding her close to him. 

“My mum always said that one day, she wanted to become the coolest grandma to my children. I always said I’d never have any kids...but now I do. When I’m older, I want two children, and I want my mother to babysit them when I’m busy. I want her to play with my children, and sneak them sweets when I’m not looking. I want her to exaggerate every story she tells them, and I want her to give them kisses before they go to sleep...” 

She trailed off, her voice cracking, as tears continued to pour down her cheeks. She clutched onto Draco as if he was the only thing that existed in this world, as they stood there together on that moonlit night on the Astronomy Tower. 

“My dad always said I will be the most beautiful bride ever. I always joked that it wasn’t likely that I’d ever get married...I wish I could. I wish I could walk down the aisle, holding his hand. I wish I could hear his corny speech that he always said he would read out, and I wish I could cry with him when I go off with my husband. I wish I could see him look at me with the same glimmer of pride in his eyes that he always looked at me with…”

He wanted to say something, but he had no idea what to say. 

So instead, he held her. 

Held her for what seemed like an eternity and more. 

Somehow, even that didn’t seem enough. 

They stood there together, until Hermione let out every emotion, and cried until she was physically incapable of doing so. 

“You need some sleep.”

“Draco I—”

“I don’t give a fuck what you say. Come with me. You need to sleep.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: chapter up! Okayokay, I know, a lot is happening in this chapter. This is my first time killing off characters in this fic...and I hate it. However, it must have been done. I think it adds depth to Hermione, and truly shows how strong she is. It almost makes my characters a bit more three dimensional, ya get me?

Woah...a LOT happening in the US. This is fucking insane, and just bizzare. I honestly don’t know what to say. In my many years of living, never in my life have I seen shit like this. For all my lovelies in the US, stay safe. It’s insane out there, make sure you don’t get hurt. 

And once more, just because I don’t see enough of it: Wear. A. Mask. It’s not hard, and you could save lives. Please don’t argue with science. Just wear a mask. 

And with that, I will now shamelessly ask for some reviews and comments. They make my day!

Stay safe out there, 

Sydney

  
  
  



	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Confused

They laid in bed together, once again in their little room, as the flames in the fireplace danced, and the snowy white blanket laid at their feet. 

He had his arm snaked around her waist, and kept her close to his chest. His chin rested in her hair, as she vibrated against his hold, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Granger…”

Suddenly, she moved, rising up in a sitting position, pulling him up with her. They sat cross legged and across from each other, but stayed close, as their fringes touched. 

“They killed my parents...and now I want to kill them. I’ve never wished for anyone to be dead...but they have to die. They took them from me. They might as well have taken me too...then I wouldn’t have to live like this. Without them.”

“Granger don’t fucking say that—”

“It’s because of me...I should have known earlier. They did it to get to Harry...they used  _ my  _ parents. It’s like two pieces of my heart were just ripped away.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault, Hermione.” he said softly, intentionally using her first name. “When is the funeral?”

“It’s tomorrow. Early in the morning.” she said, her voice cracking. 

“Come here after. Come to me, Granger. Don’t...don’t do this shit. I don’t like it. Just...come to me after.”

When he noticed her nodding her head, he grabbed her forearms, and pulled her back down with him. Reaching down for the covers, he covered themselves, before snaking his arm back around Granger’s waist, and pulling her forehead to his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, as he hummed words of encouragement into her ear, until she fell asleep. 

It was just like always, yet so different. The position was familiar, but the odd feeling of the clothes in between them was not. 

It was the first time  _ he _ had voluntarily slept with her... without having sex. 

He thought back to the last time they had done this, and remembered the night she had found him crying in the hospital wing, when he was recovering from Potter’s curse. 

She had been there for him then. He wouldn’t leave her side now.

This would change things. He didn’t know how, but it did. 

* * *

  
  


When he woke up in the morning, she wasn’t by his side. 

_ She was probably at the funeral… _

Forcing himself up, he rolled out of bed, and decided it would do him good to make an appearance in the Great Hall. Blaise would be suspicious if he hadn’t shown up, and he needed a bit of a walk himself. Shrugging himself up, he casted a quick freshening charm on himself, before making his way out of the room. 

As he walked through the mostly empty halls, he thought about everything that had happened to him over the past few months. Just a few months ago, he had wished Hermione...dead. He shuddered when he recalled that version of himself, as he walked on. 

Ever since she had found him in the bathroom, something in him had changed. She somehow managed to crawl under his skin, and into his head. She challenged every thought, and very prejudice he had previously stood by, and had proved him wrong every single time. 

No matter how hard he tried to look at her in the way he was supposed to, he simply couldn’t. Fuck, he didn’t even know what exactly he was  _ supposed  _ to do anymore. Granger did that. 

He recalled the day they had fought in the trophy room, when her hand caught an edge and split open. Ruby liquid oozed out, as she met him with her fiery gaze. 

_ How could one’s blood be muddy anyways? _

He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be like this with Granger. They weren’t good for each other.  _ He  _ wasn’t good for her. She was too kind and innocent for him, and he knew it. He knew she was risking everything in sneaking around with him. Forgive a man for being selfish, because he couldn’t come to push her away. 

He had gotten too used to seeing her smile every morning when they woke up together, in an entanglement of limbs. He ached to have those educational conversations with her, and pay attention to every detail of her body. When she made an argument, he always noticed that her brows shot up, and the glimmer in her eyes immediately became ten times more prominent. 

He wished he could hate her. He wished he could say he despised muggle borns. He wished he didn’t have to deal with the inevitable pain of separation. 

He had gotten too used to her presence. Too attached to  _ her.  _

The truth of it all was that Hermione was standing at the entrance of the door to his heart. Over all the months they had been intimate, she had slowly made her way there. 

And it was only up to him, whether he’d let her in or not. 

* * *

  
  


“Hermione. Please. Talk to us.”

Ever since they had come back from her parents’ funeral, Harry and Ron had been trying to get their best friend to speak. Make a sound. Show some sort of expression on her face. 

But she didn’t.

She hadn’t even cried when they had been there. Her face had been emotionless and still, from the moment she laid her eyes on the coffins. 

Suddenly, she rose from her seat, seemingly thinking of something, as she picked up her bag. 

“Hermione, where are you—”

“I need to be alone right now.”

“Are you sure?” questioned Ron. “Don’t you think it would be good to—”

“No. I need some space, Ronald. I’m sorry. I’ll return later on.”

And with that, her face just as stoic as it had been before, she made her way to the Room of Requirement.

* * *

  
  


Oddly enough, Blaise hadn’t been present at breakfast. He’d have to ask him about what later on. 

He turned the corner on the seventh floor, making his way to the Room of Requirement. Just as the door formed into his view, he saw her timidly walk up towards him. 

She came. 

He opened the door, and she entered without giving him a glance. Cold. Emotionless. Unfeeling. 

She made her way to the couch beside the fireplace, and seated herself stiffly, staring into the flames. 

Taking a deep breath, he approached her, calmly placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Granger, talk to me.”

No response. 

Slowly moving in front of her, he kneeled down, placing his arms on her lap, tilting her chin down to face him. 

“Granger I know how you feel—”

“Do you?” she said, breaking her silence. Her state was icy, as her nails dug into the fabric of her seat. 

“Do you really?”

“Granger—”

“YOUR PARENTS AREN’T DEAD! HOW DO YOU FUCKING KNOW?”

He felt his patience being tested, but kept his composure. 

“You’re crossing the line now—”

“THEY DIDN’T KILL YOUR PARENTS—”

“THEY COULD ANY FUCKING MOMENT! MY PARENTS ARE AS GOOD AS—”

And before he could complete his sentence, she jumped on him. 

She knocked his balance, as they both rolled onto the carpet. Her mouth attacked his with fierce nips, as he responded almost immediately, with the same aggression. She was on top of him, as his elbows rested on the ground, all of his energy going into kissing her back. 

When he stopped for a second, and moved to pull back, Hermione immediately grabbed his face and pulled him right back to her, clawing at him with a sense of desperation. 

“I’m sorry.”  _ kiss  _ “I’m sorry.”  _ kiss  _ “I’m sorry.”  _ kiss.  _

He moved up into a sitting position, grabbing her waist, and pulled them both up to a standing position, never once breaking the kiss. 

Her legs hiked up his waist, as she nipped and sucked with a need burning in her. It was the type of kiss where their teeth scraped against each other, and they each left bruises. But that was okay. 

He carried her to the bed, while she pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his clothing. Reaching for the zip on his pants, she quickly pulled them down, leaving him clad in his boxers. 

His hands found the buttons on her shirt, as he undid them and then latched onto her chest. 

She let out a moan, as she undid the clasp of her own bra, throwing it to the side. She pushed Draco off of her, and climbed on top instead. Her hands yanked down his boxers, leaving him bare, before pulling down her underwear as well. 

With a look of desperation Hermione seldom showed, she kissed him one last time, before allowing him to fill her, hearing Draco let out a hiss. 

She gestured for him to pound into her as hard as he could, wrapping her arms around his neck. She needed the friction. She needed the heat. 

Dipping down to allow their foreheads to touch, Hermione simply let out all everything she had within her. Everything that had been bubbling up, finally popping. 

They moved with no grace. They were rough and feral, beads of sweat trickling down their foreheads. He felt her nails dig into his back, but he didn’t mind. He knew she needed it. 

That day was all about her. Just her. 

A single, lone tear rolled down her cheek, as Hermione clutched onto Draco for her life. She felt that similar tingling feeling right below her navel, and the same bubble of lust build up inside her, daring to pop at any moment. 

With one swift motion, Draco changed their position, putting himself on top. He moved without the sense of establishing a rhythm, his tongue moving over the scar on her neck, as he felt himself come close to his finish. 

But that didn’t matter. It wasn’t about him. It was about  _ her  _ finish.  _ Her  _ desperation.  _ Her  _ need.

With two more thrusts, she finally unraveled, shaking in an ungrateful heap beneath him, as she finally felt everything that had been bottled up inside her for  _ months _ , escape. 

He allowed himself three more selfish thrusts, before he too, came to his finish, filling her up. 

Plopping down beside her, his arm reached to pull her close to him, before closing his eyes, panting heavily. 

“Draco,” Hermione began, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”

“I know, Granger. It’s okay.”

“Draco?” 

“Hm?”

“Thank you for that.”

* * *

  
  


“It’s crazy to me how they’ve only been gone for a few days...yet I’m here, doing supposedly nothing.”

“That’s not true. You’re trying your best in whatever you do, and continuing to be the bright witch you are. Granger, you might think they’re not here, but they’ll always be with you, as shadows. Don’t you dare fucking blame yourself for anything, because it’s not your fault.”

His words made her smile for the first time in days, as she turned the page on the book they were reading together. 

The breeze blew past them, as Hermione pressed herself deeper into Draco’s warmth. He saw her movement, and wrapped his arms around her even more tightly. In the move to do so, his sleeve suddenly moved up, revealing his dark mark. Draco quickly reached to hide it from her vision, but she stopped him. 

Gently taking his arm in her hold, she pulled up his sleeve even more, making his mark even more visible. Her fingers glided over it, as he slowly leaned into her touch, his stiffness disappearing. 

They’d never discussed his mark after their meeting in the bathroom. She had always ignored it, sensing his discomfort surrounding the topic, but for some reason, she was willing to cross boundaries today. 

She put her book aside, and leaned down to place a kiss on his forearm, as she watched the snake move. 

“Granger, don’t.” he said, pulling away. 

“This isn’t who you are. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s not what your friends think,” he scoffed. 

“They don’t know the Draco I know.”

She moved to crane her neck, and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“And who exactly would that be?”

“The Draco I know is so much better than the man everyone knows him to be. He’s kind, and caring. He might have a rough exterior, but inside, he’s something completely different. I’ve seen that, Draco. You’ve shown it to me.”

He sighed, not knowing how to respond. He ran his fingers through his icy blonde hair, staring out into the mountains in front of him. 

“How can you be so confident I’ve changed in any way? How do you know about what I believe in and don’t?”

“I just do.”

“How—”

“Draco tell me, do you hate me?”

“What?”

“Do you hate me?”

“What kind of dumb fucking question is—”

“You don’t. Quite the contrary, actually—but that’s not the point. You were able to break past that barrier, Draco. Of not hating me.”

“You’re the only one—”

“I knew you would say that.” she smiled. “Draco, do you actually still believe that my kind is inferior to yours? That muggleborns are dirty? That  _ I’m  _ dirty?”

His words died in his throat, as he couldn’t come up with a response. 

_ Did he? _

Finally, he let it out. 

“No.”

He couldn’t see her face, but knew she was smiling like a complete fool. She entwined their fingers, holding onto his hand, as she hummed against the breeze.

“Draco...remember what I told you about all the different shades of grey?”

“Mhm.”

“I know you’re still...confused. I know this is hard for you. But...a war is coming. You know that, right?”

“Mhm.”

“You need to pick a side.”

His heart immediately felt heavy, and his stomach twisted. 

“Granger—”

“You don’t have to tell me now. Just like you don’t have to tell me about your task. I trust you, Draco. I know you won’t do anything stupid. But...as much as we would like to pretend that time isn’t moving...everything is slipping away from us. Take my help, Draco. I don’t want you to get hurt...and I don’t want you to fight with them.”

“I won’t.”

“You won’t what?”

“I won’t fight with them.” he breathed out. 

She smiled the biggest smile she had smiled in  _ months,  _ before leaning over to give him a slow kiss. Pulling back, she rested her head on the crook of his neck, before speaking once more. 

“Who did they tell you to kill?”

“What? Granger…”

“Who did they tell you to kill, Draco? Tell me and I can help you...please.”

He leaned down, and saw a single tear roll down her cheek, as she waited for his response. 

Salazar, maybe it was the way she had said it, or perhaps it had been for the fact that she had cried, but even he didn’t realize it when he had allowed the name to slip past his tongue. 

“Dumbledore.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: I know, a bit of a short chapter, but I think there were quite some significant events here. Next chapter will be longer, promise!

Uni has been stressful, but that’s how it always is. However, amidst all the negativity around us, I’ve found solace in all the Bernie memes circulating the web. Absolutely amazing. 

I’ve decided that coffee is officially my best friend. Such a life saver. Bless the person who created this magnificent drink. 

I’m graduating this year! Has it really already been four years? Time flies insanely fast! To all my 2021 graduates, cheers! Time for another four years of school (hopefully, fingers crossed if I get accepted). 

Please review and comment! I love them. Thank you to everyone who does, they really do make my day. 

Love you guys, 

Sydney.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Hope

“Harry, do you realize that Hermione isn’t back yet? She was absolutely broken, and the both of you just let her go off like that? How fucking brill—”

“Ginny...I think I know where she is.”

“Well where is she then?”

“I can’t tell you, but I can assure you she’s safe.”

Hermione’s words were having an effect on him. She really made it seem like her...boyfriend was a good bloke. 

_ If  _ he was her boyfriend. 

Whenever he asked her about it, she was very vague, and only glossed over it, before changing the topic. She had never specified what exactly they were by using a term. 

But it looked to him as though Hermione was falling. 

Maybe it was the glazy look she had in her eyes now and then, or the occasional smiles she would burst out into. Maybe it was the way she described him…

Beautiful, she said. 

He saw the way his best friend progressively...found herself again over the year. He had remembered how heartbroken she had been in September, when Ron had dated Lavender. She slowly started to care less and less...which must have been the time she got involved with the other guy. 

He didn’t like the fact that she snuck off like this. He didn’t like the fact that he would soon have to break the truth to his other best friend. He didn’t like the fact that whatever path she chose to go on, was complicated. 

But…

Somehow, Hermione had begun to act more and more like  _ herself  _ recently. All because of the guy she had been seeing. 

And if this person could do that for her...he was okay with it. He was grateful that he brought back his best friend. He could trust that she would be safe.

“I’m sorry, Ginny. I really am. But I can’t break a promise I made to Hermione.”

“It’s alright Harry. I understand. As long as she’s safe, I don’t care about anything else.”

Her words caused him to let out a smile, before leaning in to capture her lips with a soft kiss.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“No need to thank me. I already know I’m awesome.”

* * *

  
  


“...Dumbledore? Draco—are you serious?”

With a deep sigh, he turned to face her, noticing her turning around. 

“Yes.”

“Holyshit. That’s...that’s what they want you to do?”

“Yes.”

Fuck. 

Everything started piecing itself together, until it finally made sense. 

How did she not see it before?

The necklace and Katie had been for Dumbledore. Near the beginning of the year, when he disappeared, he’d been working on  _ this.  _

Voldemort wanted Dumbledore dead. 

But why a sixteen year old boy? Why Draco?

Perhaps as punishment to what his father did. Most likely was. 

It took many prolonged moments for Hermione to process the wave of shock that washed over her, as she sat in the moonlight, pressed up against her lover. 

“Hermione...what do I do?”

His use of her first name called her to attention, and the raspiness in his voice broke her. He seemed so helpless...so lost.

“What do I do? I don’t know how...I can’t…”

He hated to admit it, but ever since he has gotten involved with Granger, he had begun to work less and less on his task. For the past month, he accomplished no work at all. She was like a sedative, luring him into a false sense of calamity. Being with her calmed him, and deluded him into believing that there wasn’t a problem in the world. Being with her did that. 

His voice wavered, as she felt a wetness on the back of her neck.

_ Tears… _

She moved herself to face him, sitting in his lap in a straddling position. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek, wiping away a lone tear drifting down, before leaning down to softly capture his lips with hers.

The kiss was soft, and completely raw. Both poured in months of hidden emotions and feelings, as they gently nipped and sucked. Hermione’s tongue ghosted over Draco’s bottom lip, before her hands moved to create tracks in his hair. 

Softly pulling away, she placed her forehead against his, breathing deeply from their kiss. 

Draco rarely showed his emotion like this. He hated crying in front of her. He had always kept his feelings bottled up inside, never letting  _ anyone  _ within his walls. 

But on that day, he had allowed Hermione in. 

He was completely bare to her, not even attempting to put on a mask. That night, he cried into her hair, as she cooed words of comfort into his ear. He simply poured everything out, telling her everything he possibly could. 

And he didn’t give a fuck that he shouldn’t have. 

He cried on Hermione Granger's shoulder, telling her about his mission to kill their headmaster. 

Perhaps it shouldn’t have, but her half empty words of comfort helped. They really did.

* * *

  
  


They found themselves in a tangle of limbs once more, once again with their clothes on, in their bed in the Room of Requirement. 

The past few days had been extremely difficult for both of them. And through it all...they stuck by one another.

Held one another when they needed it. 

Comforted one another when they needed it. 

Draco seldom cried in front of others...but on that night, for some strange reason, crying into Granger’s hair felt good. 

He could trust her with his eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back. Perhaps trusted her the most out of all the people that were present in his life. 

He analyzed his disposition, and how he had ended up where he was.  _ How  _ he had ended up being this way with Hermione Granger. What  _ she  _ had seen in him to stay for so long.  _ Why  _ she stayed with him, when Weasley was practically waiting for her, standing there with a key to her perfect life. Yet, he saw her repeatedly push him away, choosing to drown with  _ him  _ instead. 

He couldn’t bear to think about being without her again. She had gone from a drug to a necessity, and now...something that was important to him. Quite important. 

He caught himself staring at her for too long, before looking away briskly. His movement caused her to stir, before opening her eyes herself.

“Did I wake you? Go back to sleep”

“No,” she yawned, “it’s okay. Draco...we need to discuss this.”

“I knew you would say that.”

“We have to. You can’t just continue like this”

“What do you suggest?”

“Well...I was thinking…we should talk to Professor Dumbledore.”

“Granger what the fuck—”

“Seriously! He can help you, Draco. Of all the people in the world,  _ he  _ would be the best to tell right now.”

“Granger…”

“Dumbledore cares, Draco. He cares for all of his students. He will get you  _ and  _ your parents out of this. He’s the most powerful wizard on the planet.”

“And what about Snape?”

“Snape…”

Suddenly, a realization dawned on her. 

Harry had been right. And she had been too quick to dismiss him.

Every single time.

Snape  _ was  _ working for them. He was the mole…and he was in the castle. 

_ That meant he could do anything at any given moment… _

“Draco we have to tell him! He must know!”

“Granger you realize...if I tell Dumbledore...this is it.”

“What do you mean, Draco?”

“It’s all over.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ll...I’ll be picking a side. Once I tell Dumbledore...I’m no longer with them.”

“When were you ever?” she sighed, moving closer to cup his cheek.

“Your hard exterior displays you to the world as something you are not. The marks on your skin show you to be something you are not. Your name signifies that you believe in something you do not. You are not all these things, Draco. You were never truly on their side in the first place. You were...conflicted. And now, you most certainly are not.”

They cherished the few comfortable moments of silence, as Draco absorbed her words like a sponge. His hold on her tightened, as a sudden thought popped into his head. 

“Granger...what if we run?”

“...what?”

“What if we run away? We could leave Britain—”

“Draco, what are you talking about?”

“I’m asking you to run away with me, Granger. We can...leave all this behind.”

She couldn’t help but analyze the implications of his words, as she furrowed her brows. Moving her fingers to stroke his hair, she finally spoke.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not? 

“I can’t leave everything behind—”

“You can be with me! We can stay together...we can run together. Away from it all. Away from the war. Away from the darkness. We can live somewhere in the mountains. You said you liked them…”

He trailed off, as he saw her reach down to lace her fingers with his.

“I can’t run Draco. I can’t leave my friends behind. I can’t do that to Harry. I can’t do that to Ron. I can’t do that to anyone else. This war...it’s a war full of hatred, and will only get worse from this point on. I’m a victim in this war, Draco. My kind are the people they want to kill. I have to fight. I have to—”

“Bullshit! You don’t have to be noble like that Hermione! Be selfish for once…”

“I’m not doing this for others, Draco. I’m doing this for  _ myself _ . So that one day, I won’t have to hide. So that I  _ won’t  _ have to run.”

“You can let the others do that for you! Fighting yourself is pointless—”

“They took my mum and dad from me. I...I need to fight in this war for the sake of  _ my  _ sanity. I can never live knowing that...after they killed them, I just ran away like a coward. I need to fight in this war...for  _ their  _ justice. So that no one else has to face the pain of losing their parents.”

Her words stabbed him like daggers. They broke him, yet evoked an emotion he couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was  _ this _ fire in her that he sometimes absolutely hated...yet, it was exactly this that made the witch beside him...Hermione Granger. 

She wouldn’t back down. Never. 

“Draco...could you run away from it all, when  _ your  _ parents are still there? When everyone you’ve ever known and loved is still here? We’re all part of this war Draco, and it’s our duty to end it. Running away won’t do us any good.”

“And...and what if we don’t come out of this war alive?”

“Then I’ll die figh—”

“Again with this noble shit! Granger, you  _ can’t  _ die—”

“Well I certainly don’t intend on doing so—”

“Then why do you insist on taking part in this suicide mission?”

“What do you mean, suicide mission? You don’t believe we can win? You don’t believe Harry can kill him?”

“No. Quite frankly, no. We must be practical. They’re getting stronger and stronger day by day, and are gaining control of the Ministry very soon. I don’t trust Potter to get lucky again like every other fucking time—”

“We have to try. Everything is against us, but we still have to keep trying. Draco...this war is bigger than just you and I. It’s bigger than just our families, or Harry and...Voldemort. It’s about ending prejudice and getting rid of hatred that has existed for  _ years _ . It’s about creating a better future for the little witches and wizards that will come into the world. It’s about creating a reality where people like me can be safe...and looked at as equal to everyone else.”

Her words had a ghostly sadness hidden in them, yet contained the fire she always had. Her head was resting on his chest, as she played with their fingers, cherishing their proximity. 

“Come with me, Draco. We can talk to Dumbledore. Please.”

Her please sounded so achingly desperate, he could never say no.

“Okay.”

* * *

  
  


“Come in.”

Their hands entwined, just before they entered, Hermione gave Draco’s hand a big squeeze, before finally letting go to open the door. 

“Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy. What a pleasant surprise. Come, do take a seat.”

Their professor’s indifference to their arrival seemed more than a bit odd to them, but nevertheless, they proceeded. 

“Yes? I’m assuming you have something to tell me?”

“Yes professor. We do.”

“Go ahead, Miss Granger.”

She turned to glance at Draco, who’s hand tightly squeezed her thigh underneath the table. She reached down to stroke the top of his hand, calming him.

“Professor...Draco...he has…”

“A mission? Given to him by Voldemort, in which he is to kill me?”

They were both completely shocked. She felt Draco snap up in surprise, as she gasped. Dumbledore, however, remained emotionless. 

“Professor...how did you know?”

“Oh, I have my sources.” he smiled. 

“Professor...what should we do?”

Suddenly, there was a twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes. She knew Draco had noticed it as well.

“We?”

“Oh...I meant Draco. What should he do?”

“In my opinion, at the moment, it’s best to do nothing.”

“I’m sorry professor, what?”

“Simply do nothing.”

Suddenly, she remembered something. 

“Snape! Professor, Snape is working for them! He—”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Of course.”

“Well then...why don’t you do anything? Harry could be in danger and—”

“Miss Granger, remember how I told you I have my sources?”

“Your...oh my gosh.”

“You seem to have understood what I was trying to relay to you.”

Until now, Draco had been silent. This new piece of information, however, got him involved. 

“Snape is a spy? For you?”

“He is.”

Both took in the information they were being given, each deep into their own thoughts. 

“The both of you perhaps aren’t aware of the fact that Severus is under the Unbreakable Vow. It was a vow he made to your mother, Mister Malfoy,” he said, glancing at Draco through his half moon spectacles.

“Snape...but why? Why is he working for you?”

“Those are reasons I am unable to tell you. Perhaps, one day you will know, Miss Granger. But as for now, I ask that you trust my judgement.”

Before taking a moment to absorb the information being given to her, she nodded firmly, before her professor spoke again.

“I might ask you myself...how come the both of you are here together? Don’t get me wrong, but most would assume you to be quite an odd pairing.”

“Professor we...we—”

“It’s okay, Miss Granger. I understand. Young love...has the power to alter things to incredible heights.”

They both sucked in sharp breaths, hearing his words.

_ How had he known about them? _

“Professor we—”

“It’s okay. I do not expect an answer from either of you. I will not tell anyone either.”

Draco sat in silence, twiddling his thumbs, as the corner of his eye caught Hermione nibbling on her lip. Finally, the warm voice of the man in front of him caught his attention.

“Draco...I am extremely proud of you. What you did...what you are doing...it takes an incredible amount of courage. I’m so happy that you were able to open your eyes. I always knew you weren’t like them. You have good in you.”

His words affected him more than he wanted them to. They echoed back and forth in his head, almost like a poem. 

_ You have good in you.  _

It somehow...made him feel better about himself. She risked sneaking a glance at Granger, and turned to find her smiling from ear to ear. 

“Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy, I would like you to continue the way you were before you came and spoke to me. Do not let Severus know that you know about his little secret, and simply continue the way you are. Everything will fall into place.”

“What about my parents? I’m sure you know about the danger they’re in? What about them?”

“Well as for that, I was simply waiting on when you would come to speak to me. We can manage to take them to a safe place.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Let’s just say...I can manage to make them disappear.”

“Disappear?”

“They will be taken somewhere safe.”

“What about me? Won't they question it if I’m still in Hogwarts?”

“I’m sure Severus can come up with something. He can manage.”

He took several moments to think about his Professor’s offer. 

_ They would be safe.  _

It was reliable. It was Dumbledore.

“You can ensure that they will be safe?” he questioned.

“Of course.”

“Then do what you must. But I just want them—”

“Excellent, Mister Malfoy. Need not to worry, I will handle this personally.”

Under the table, he felt Granger give his hand a squeeze, relaxing him significantly.

“Professor,” she finally spoke, “do you need us to do anything else?”

“At the moment, no. Thank you, to the both of you, for being so brave. And Miss Granger—before I forget—you must not tell your friends about this discussion.”

“I can’t tell Harry and Ron?”

“I would appreciate it if you did not. As of now, this information is best kept a secret, and I know that Harry has a lot going on otherwise as well.”

“...okay. I won’t tell them.”

“Very good. Now...the both of you can head back together, I have to head to a Ministry in a bit for an important meeting.”

“Okay Professor. Thank you.” said Hermione. 

“You are welcome, Miss Granger.”

The room was silent for just a few moments, until Hermione made eye contact with Draco. She was gesturing for him to thank Dumbledore as well. Somehow, without even contemplating it, it came out.

“Thank you.” he rasped out.

“You are very welcome, Draco.”

Perhaps his long beard did a good job of hiding it, but Dumbledore was grinning from ear to ear.

She had a more pronounced effect on him than he had even expected. 

“Good night, Professor.”

“Good night.” he said with a nod. 

As he watched his students leave, he noticed every little detail. The way they’d walk closely together, so that their hands brushed against each other. The way Draco would occasionally glance at Hermione, trying to communicate. The way he calmed down under her touch.

It was all so similar...same story, same characters. So many years apart, yet both stories playing out the exact same way. 

He hoped theirs had a different ending. 

A happy ending, in which both were content. 

“Do you really think it’ll last?” called a voice from a picture frame behind him.

“I hope it does, Phineas. It must. For the sake of them, and for the world. Change was necessary, and it’s evident that it is possible. They embody it.”

* * *

  
  


a/n: finally done the chapter! So many things going on in my life right now, but finally squeezed some time in to WRITE. Hope it’s okay!

I’m so sleepy right now, and I don’t know why. I have a four day weekend starting tomorrow, so the first thing I’m going to do after posting is take a nice long nap, and then after, begin writing the next chapter. That means you guys might see an update soon.

Maybe you guys can feel it, but the next big “thing” in the story is coming up soon...as for what it is, you have to keep reading to find out!

Barely getting any reviews these days. I’d love it if you left one. They make my day.

Stay safe,

Sydney

  
  



	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Scent

Not telling Harry and Ron was hard.

So hard.

She never liked keeping secrets from them, and before that year, had seldom done so. Somehow, that year, she found herself wound up in a completely different world at times, a world her friends were not aware of in the slightest bit. 

Her life was in an absolute mess, and she had no idea what was going to happen. She didn’t like this. Not being in control. 

Still…

Somehow, in her crazy world, she had a reason to smile. She had something to look forward to when she awoke, and something that kept her going. 

It had been a month since her parents’ demise, but it only felt as if it was only yesterday, as she watched them being laid to rest for the last time. Merlin, it didn’t even feel real that they were...gone.

Yet, she continued on, completing menial tasks, being present in every class. The world outside the walls of their castle was dangerous. The entire wizarding world settled into a permanent state of gloom, as the optimism of the promises of what the new year brought wore out, and reality began to settle in. 

The news of her parents’ death had been all over the media. She remembered reading one headlined,  _ “Harry Potter’s Muggleborn Best Friend’s Parents Dead in Attack.” _

Everything took a while to settle in. Harry had, once again, blamed himself for it all. Perhaps he even felt more guilty than she did. Regardless of how much she tried to convince him that he was not to blame, he continued keeping his head low. 

The negativity of it all was getting to her. It made her itch for normality. Only one person gave that to her.

Or whatever resembled normal, now.

Through it all, Draco made her laugh. He held her at night, and made her smile. He woke up beside her every morning, in an entanglement of limbs. He had begun to open up to her even more than before, and it made her feel unknown sensations. 

Like butterflies.

His smile was enough to make her week. Not just the smirk he always displayed...but his smile. It made him even more strikingly beautiful than he was. 

Draco Malfoy was exactly that.

Beautiful.

And she didn’t care what others thought of him. She didn’t care about his reputation. She didn’t care about their past. She trusted him now...to her, he meant so much. 

She didn’t know if he returned these strong sentiments, but she didn’t care about that. As long as she could hold him in her arms, and fall asleep with him beside her...she didn’t care.

They’d made it through every storm so far. She was more than willing to fight through the ones coming.

Maybe February would bring some positivity…

* * *

  
  


“You are yet to tell us, why you have brought us here.”

“I’m afraid that is something you will find out later on, Narcissa. Now, tell me, are the arrangements okay?”

“I don’t care about the arrangements! You’ve taken us away from our home, and locked us in this cottage! Why?”

“I did what was necessary. And as for the manor...you cannot call that place your home any more, can you? After everything that’s happened?”

“How...how do you know?”

“Another question I am unable to answer.”

“Why have you brought  _ us  _ here? Why did you feel the need?”

“Like I said, Narcissa. Part of a promise I made to someone, and part of something else I unfortunately cannot say. The food is all in the cupboards...I know it’s not quite what you’ve been used to, but I tried to make it as comfy as possible. And please...tell Lucius to try not to break the wards. He will prove himself unsuccessful. I must get going, now.”

The elderly wizard smiled down at the couple one last time, before turning to leave the cottage. Lucius looked significantly better than before...no one to torture him there. However, Narcissa wore the same worried expression he had seen on her face last time.

“Before you go...I just...I just need you to tell me one thing. Draco...is he doing okay?”

Her last word came out raspy, as through the corner of his eye, he saw her burst into tears.

“As a mother, I need to know. He’s my son...my blood. He’s the only thing that matters to me, Dumbledore. Kill me if you please. Feed my carcass to the birds in the sky but nothing,” she paused, wiping her tears, “should happen to my son.”

Her words caused him to smile, as he absentmindedly noticed Lucius shift in his seat to listen in.

“Don’t worry about him, Narcissa. He’s doing well. Might even say better than you were able to keep him, in his lifetime. He’s safe. He’s okay. He’s happy.”

And with those as his last words, he strided out of the cottage, apparating on the doorstep.

* * *

  
  


He felt himself sigh contently, as he eyed the image in his hand.

It was a picture of his parents, in a cottage, somewhere in Ireland. His professor had given it to him, showing him that his parents were okay. 

His mother looked different from when he had seen her last time...a permanent effect of aging graced upon her features, her face looking as though she was in distress. Still, somehow, between all of these layers, he found colour. He could tell she was safe, and that was all he needed.

Lucius looked grey...as though he was battling in a war against himself. His hair was long and uncombed, and his beard was longer than ever. He sat to a side, not looking anywhere towards the person who took the photo. He was still in his own world...but he was safe. Deep down inside, he knew his father wasn’t happy in that cottage. He knew he enjoyed torturing muggle borns. He was the one who gave them this life. Himself, and his mother.

In the midst of it all, his mother was tied up. She never wanted this. She hadn’t asked for it. Even if she was raised to believe in pureblood ideologies, she never cared to take sides in such a gruesome battle. She wanted to be...happy. He saw the love she had for his father in her eyes...but somehow, it had been watered down. Lucius Malfoy no longer was the man he used to be. 

But still, regardless of it all, they were okay. 

And that’s all that mattered.

* * *

  
  


“Are you heading down first or should I?”

“You go, I’ll come down in a bit.”

“Alright.” she nodded. 

Giving him one last kiss, and breathing in his minty scent, she made her way out of the room, on her way to the Great Hall. 

Ever since her parents’ passing, they had slept together, in the Room of Requirement. There was no use, staying apart now. Being together made everything seem...okay. 

As she entered the Great Hall, she slowly made her way to the Gryffindor table, taking a seat beside Harry, and across to Ron. As soon as she saw Ron look away, she leaned over to whisper into Harry’s ear.

“Thank you for letting me use your cloak.”

“If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have given it to them. You’ve saved my life too many times to count, the least I can do is allow you to sneak out at night, if it makes you—”

“What are the two of you talking about?” interrupted Ron.

“Nothing, Ron.”

He gave them a skeptical glance, before getting distracted by the toast in front of him. 

“How are your lessons with Dumbledore going, Harry?” asked Ron, in between bites.

“Nothing new. Ever since he told me about the horcruxes, he hasn’t given me any new information.”

“And what about Slughorn?” questioned Hermione.

“I have no idea how I’m going to go about that. I need your help figuring out how to confront him.”

“We should get started on that. Dumbledore said it was urgent.” added Ron.

A few moments of silence passed between the three, before Hermione spoke up once again.

“Harry...don’t you think something will happen? Soon?”

“It could happen any moment now.”

“Then...what are we going to do? What do  _ you  _ plan on doing?”

“I have something in mind...it sounds crazy. I’ll tell you guys about it another day.”

* * *

  
  


“Why are you always staring in that direction every morning?”

His companion’s comment caused him to snap to attention, breaking out of his train of thoughts. 

“What? Nothing...nevermind that, how come I don’t see you at breakfast that often these days?”

“Ah...so you’ve noticed. You know, you’re not the only one who has the right to be mysterious.”

“What?”

He laughed, before reaching over to grab his glass of water.

“As you like to phrase it...you’ll find out one day. Hopefully.”

His words made him curious, but the rush of students leaving the hall made him realize he was running late for potions. 

“You’re off the hook for now...let’s go, we’re going to be late for potions.”

* * *

  
  


With long strides, he entered the Headmaster’s office, closing the door behind him with a large thump.

“Severus.” acknowledged the old wizard.

“It has been a month,” he began, “and you are yet to tell me, why you kidnapped the Malfoys.”

“Well, it was to keep them safe, of course.”

“Stop beating around the bush! Have you gone senile? What are you doing? What is going through your head?”

“Many things are going through my head, Severus, as you have so eloquently put it.”

“Why did you feel the need to take Narcissa and Lucius away?”

The elderly man made his way to his cabinet, slipping some papers into their places, before making his way back to his desk. He felt a sharp pain course through his right hand, before clutching it, letting out a loud breath.

“Have you brought my potion?”

“Yes.”

Dumbledore reached forward to take the goblet his companion had just set on the table, before taking it in one swift gulp.

“You failed to answer my first question.”

“Some questions are best left unanswered, Severus. I’m sure you’ll find out one day. It might not be from me, but you’ll find out.”

The dark haired wizard furrowed his brows, before striding back and forth, across the room. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he spoke up once again.

“Where are you going with this? What do you intend on doing with the Potter boy? You certainly don’t believe he can kill the Dark Lord himself, do you? You said you plan on dying, that too, at my hands. What will happen, Dumbledore?”

“Take a seat, Severus. I will explain.”

* * *

  
  


She made her way to the potions classroom with her friends, but felt Draco’s presence close behind her. 

As they entered the class, the first thing they saw was Slughorn, bobbing around the front of the classroom, arranging some vials.

She looked around her, checking for Draco, but found him to be on the other side of the classroom, with Blaise Zabini. He seemed so close…as though he was right beside her.

Perhaps being around him for so long did that. 

“Why does it smell so good?” questioned Ron.

“Yeah,” added Harry, “like...treacle tart. And something like flowers.”

“No no...it smells like pumpkin pie.”

* * *

  
  


"So the boy...the boy must die?" asked Snape quite calmly.

"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."

Another long silence. 

"I thought...all those years...that we were protecting him for her. For Lily."

"We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth. Sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."

Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.

"You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?"

"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape. He stood up. "You have used me."

"Meaning?"

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter--"

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

"For him? Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always.”

* * *

  
  


She sat down beside Ron, but continually glanced towards Draco. He sat with Blaise Zabini, the handsome Italian wizard. He was probably...Draco’s only friend. She’d have to ask about him later. 

“Welcome, welcome! Today is a very special day, so I won’t waste too much of your time! Now, who can tell me what is in this vial? Yes Boot, the one I’m holding.”

Distinctive mother of pearl sheen, steam rising in characteristic spirals.

“Yes! Miss Granger!”

“It is amortentia, sir.”

“Correct! Five points to Gryffindor. Could you tell us what it exactly is, for five more points?”

“It is the most powerful love potion in the world, and smells different to each person according to what they love the most.”

“Excellent! Another five points to Gryffindor. Since you’ve told us about how it smells different to each person, why don’t you come up and take a sniff, Miss Granger? Go on, I just finished brewing this batch in the morning! That’s why some of you may think the classroom smells particularly nice today.”

Hermione made her way up to the front desk, and lifted the vial, to inhale its scent. 

“Well, what do you smell?”

“Freshly mown grass, parchment, and…”

The last scent. 

It was Draco. 

His slightly minty and masculine scent, a scent that perhaps even hung onto  _ her  _ clothes now.

“And?”

At that moment, she made eye contact with him.

“Spearmint toothpaste.” she breathed out.

“Quite a distinctive scent, Miss Granger. Who would like to try next?”

As a hoard of students rushed forward to smell the potion, she became lost in her own thoughts…

She had smelled Draco in the potion.

* * *

  
  


“We need to escape! The Dark Lord is waiting! He requires our presence.”

“That’s it? That’s all that you’re concerned about?”

“Dumbledore said Draco is fine—”

“I don’t trust him!”

“He’ll be fine! The Dark Lord—”

“He’ll be fine?” she hissed, glaring daggers. “ _ My one and only son, is out there on a mission to kill the most powerful wizard on the planet, and you have the audacity to say he’ll be fine? _ ”

“Calm down Narci—”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALM DOWN?”

She rose up, knocking the glass in front of her to the floor, causing shards of glass to spread all around the room.

“Sit down!”

“You have no worries about our son.”

“He’s not at the top of our worries right now—”

“Yes he is! He’s our son, Lucius. You gave us this life...and now your son is living it.”

“Stop being so dramatic—”

“You,” she said, darkly, “have descended into such a place from where I cannot rescue you no longer. My son is all that matters to me in this world. For him, I can die or kill within the blink of an eye.  _ And I don’t care anymore, if you do not share the same sentiments. _ ”

* * *

  
  


He tentatively moved forward, next in line to smell the amortentia. Ever since Granger smelled it, she looked a bit lost, as he saw her lost in the back of the classroom, standing with Potter.

“Mister Malfoy, next.”

As he was called, he made his way up to the table, eyeing the pearly liquid. Slowly, he picked up the vial, and raised it to his nostrils.

The smell was strong, and he could almost immediately point out the distinctive components…

Roses.

Playing in the grand Malfoy gardens with his mother was one of his most prominent memories. He almost smiled, as he remembered running through the rose bushes, and carefully picking them, to give to his mother, following closely behind. 

The second thing he smelled.,.

Green apples.

Of course. He never failed to complete his day without eating one. He remembered being younger, absolutely refusing to eat red ones, because they were Gryffindor’s colour.

Childish, yes, but so very Draco. 

And then, the final smell…

It was an alluring vanilla, but with a touch of berries.

Shit.

Fuck.

_ Fuck. _

* * *

  
  


a/n: aaahhhh quick update!!! I said I’d take advantage of the long weekend. Writing this chapter was fun, hope you like it!

More than halfway through February. Time is ticking so fast like—what the fuck??? Weekends feel like a thirty minute lunch break these days.

Homework, applications, the usual. However, I’m being oddly productive these days, so I’m managing to do a bit of everything. I will not procrastinate...I will  _ not  _ procrastinate…

Once again, leave a comment or review. I love them. They make my day. 

Stay safe out there,

Sydney


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